The Blush Factor by Deborah Bladon

Chapter Forty-Four

Matthew

I darttoward a lecture hall on the campus of NYU, cursing at my phone every step of the way.

I’ve been playing telephone tag with Faith for two days.

When she’s been in class, I’ve had a minute to talk to her, and when I’ve been engrossed with surgery or an appointment, she’s tried to reach out.

I’ve longed for the nude selfie she teased me with, but I’m glad in a way that she didn’t follow through. I don’t know how the hell I’d stay focused on work if I had that to stare at all day.

I round the corner and spot Erin standing alone gazing out of the window of the lecture hall.

Goddammit, I must have missed my chance. Class is already over.

I look down at the six yellow roses in my hand.

I picked them up for Faith because I read in her diary that yellow roses are her favorite.

In one of her first entries, from years ago, she wished that some sixteen-year-old kid would bring her some.

I’m stepping into his shoes to fulfill that dream.

I’m determined to make every dream she’s ever had a reality.

“Matt?” Erin calls my name as soon as she catches sight of me over her shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

I freeze.

I fucking freeze because I’m not ready to confess that I’m head over heels for one of her students.

“You do know that Delia hasn’t been enrolled here in more than two years, right?” She laughs. “I remember how you’d always buy her a few flowers to put a smile on her face.”

I did do that.

I did it when I was eighteen, and Delia had a bad day.

I did it when I was twenty-five, and Delia had a tough week.

And I did it the day she came back from Paris with her heart shattered.

I don’t correct Erin’s assumption.

“How are you?” I ask her to steer her in a direction far away from the flowers in my hand.

She moves toward me. The black skirt she’s wearing sways as she walks. “I’m so good, Matt.”

I have a feeling I know why. The brightness in her smile likely has a hell of a lot to do with the famous molecular biologist Faith told me about.

“For any particular reason?” I press.

Her hand reaches out so she can run a fingertip over one of the petals of a rose. “I finally found him.”

Him.

The guy she’s been searching for since I met her.

“You’re in love,” I say. “Erin, that’s amazing.”

“He’s incredible, Matt.” Tears brim in the corners of her eyes. “We have so much in common, and he loves me with so much force. I can feel it as soon as he walks into the room. It’s hard to explain.”

It’s not that hard to explain.

I love Faith with just as much force, with just as much heart.

She glances up at me. “In some ways, I owe it all to you.”

“No.” I shake my head. “This is all you, Erin. You were patient. You stayed the course, and you found him.”

“Because of the advice you gave me when you were…how old were you?” She laughs. “Eighteen or nineteen, I think.”

“Nineteen.”

Her gaze falls to the flowers. “Back then, I was so crazy about Jimmy Ferguson.”

Jimmy fucking Ferguson was an asshole of epic proportions and another student that Erin tutored.

He fucked Erin, told half the college about it, and then declared his undying love for her so he could get seconds.

She told me she was falling hard and fast for him, but I stepped into the middle of that mess.

I told her that she was falling into fuck love, not real love, because her time with Jimmy was her only time. I urged her to have more experiences and to sleep with other guys. I did it to protect her because I saw her as an older sister in a way.

She screamed at me, called me a jealous bastard, and threatened to stop tutoring me.

She did for a year and a half until we bumped into each other in a restaurant.

We talked through what had happened, she thanked me for having her back, and we went back to student and tutor.

“Every experience I’ve had with a man has taught me something,” she says softly. “If I wouldn’t have had those experiences, I would have missed out on becoming who I am today.”

I take in every word she says, listening carefully.

“A virgin should never fall in love with her first lover.” She laughs. “Because, as you so elegantly put it back then, it’s fuck love, and that’s never real love.”

I drop my gaze to the flowers in my hand, unsure of what to say. What the fuck can I say? I want Faith to fall in love with me. I want to be her only lover.

I don’t move an inch as Erin wraps her arms around my neck to plant a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you, Matthew. Thank you for helping me find my forever.”