The Heart Chaser by Gina Azzi
Luca
Nikki’s the first to pull me into a hug and when she does, some of the tension I’ve been carrying around like stones dissipates.
“I’m so sorry,” my sister murmurs.
I shake my head and pull back, staring into her worried eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit,” Robbie says, clapping me on the back. “Unless you’re not really in love with Abbi?”
“What?” I whirl on him, frowning. “Of course, I’m in love with her. All fucking in.”
My brother lifts an eyebrow. “Then you’re definitely not okay.”
“But we have booze,” Justine calls out, coming over to kiss me hello. “Pop even broke out the scotch. Says you earned it.”
I snort. “Me being kicked to the curb, lying in the gutter, has finally earned me the scotch? Not winning the Stanley Cup or anything?”
Robbie chuckles as my sisters shrug.
“Good scotch is only for the best and worst moments,” Dad says, hobbling into the room. I move toward him but he swats me away, fixing me with a sharp look. “The best and worst moments are always and only with the one you love. Nothing else really matters, or ever comes close, to those.”
I tip my head, conceding his point. He settles into a chair and looks me up and down. “Besides, you look like shit.”
Robbie snickers and moves to the bar to pour me a glass of scotch. When my brother passes it to me, I turn to Pop. “Can we at least toast to Robbie’s promotion?”
A swell of pride washes over my brother’s face. My stepmom, Jenni, kisses the top of my head, and helps Robbie pass out a round of drinks.
Pop swears, muttering about how I still don’t get it, but Justine lifts her glass. “To Robbie, our fearless brother. We are so proud of you.”
Robbie dips his head but I see the gratitude that sparks in his eyes.
“You deserve this, man,” I tack on.
“Thanks for coming, Luca,” he says, taking a slow sip of scotch.
“Wouldn’t miss it. It’s about time the Pandatellis have something good to celebrate.”
“You dating a woman counts.” Nikki points at me, taking the piss.
I flip her the middle finger and Justine laughs.
“So, are we gonna talk about it now?” Robbie lifts his eyebrows.
“Talk about what?” I ask, sitting up straight. Did something happen? Is Valentina’s bronchitis back? Are one of my nephews in trouble?
“You getting your head out of your ass and winning the girl back,” Pop explains, artful as ever.
“What?” My mouth drops open.
“We’ve never seen you like this,” Jenni says, sitting next to Pop. She slips her hand in his and he squeezes, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. It’s such a simple gesture but it speaks to years together, to mutual respect, to celebrating the highs and weathering the lows. It speaks to scotch drinking.
“We really thought you were going to bring her,” Justine says softly, perching on the edge of the couch. “I’m sure this is hard on her but we’re your family, Luca. You guys shouldn’t be alone trying to sort all this media stuff out.”
“She went home,” I say, clearing my throat.
“Where’s that?” Nikki asks.
“New Jersey. Her gran passed and—”
“Oh, that poor girl.” Jenni lifts a hand to her mouth.
“No, not right now. She passed in November and—”
“She needs closure,” Justine says knowingly.
I frown. “What?”
“There’s just too much happening in her life,” Nikki continues, as if I’m not sitting here, trying to understand what the hell is happening. And why does my family always hijack a conversation and run with it? They don’t even know Abbi. “When things get tough, the first thing you want is—”
“Home,” Jenni murmurs.
“The familiar,” Justine agrees.
“Comfortable,” Robbie adds, getting into this.
“It must be so hard for Abbi, in a new city, with a new job, new relationship”—my sister-in-law, Robbie’s wife Nella, glances at me—“and now all of this.”
“She needs time,” Nikki confirms, nodding.
“We understand why you didn’t bring her.” Justine looks at me.
I scrub a hand over my face, trying to keep up. “Okay.”
“But you should really go get her,” Nella adds.
I drop my hand and look up. “To New Jersey?”
“Wherever she is.” Nella shrugs. “She needs to know that you’re going to show up for her.”
“I’m being accused of impregnating a woman with a child who isn’t mine,” I remind my family, starting to grow frustrated with how they’re all suddenly relationship experts. “Abbi’s name is being dragged through the mud because of my stupid decisions. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Probably not,” Nikki agrees. “But she still needs you.”
“She’s not talking to me,” I spell it out for them, dragging a hand through my hair. I’m agitated. Doesn’t my family realize how much I miss my girl? How much I wish she was here with me, right now?
“So, make her,” Pop says, as if that settles it.
I narrow my eyes at him and he narrows his right back at me.
“Is she the woman you drink scotch over?” He lifts an eyebrow, pissing me off.
I down my glass and smack my lips together.
Pop grins. “Then go to New Jersey. Get your woman. And bring her home to meet your family.”
“We really can’t wait to meet her,” Nikki gushes.
“You guys are crazy,” I mutter, standing from my chair. I point to my brother. “I’m not missing your dinner. But tomorrow, I’ll, I’ll head to Hoboken.”
Justine squeals and Nella smiles.
“If she’ll still have me, I’ll bring her to the next family event,” I say, the pressure in my chest easing as I speak the words aloud. God, I hope Abbi will still have me. I smirk at my family. “You’re all massive pains in my ass.”
My family laughs as the door opens and the herd that is my nieces and nephews tumbles in.
“Uncky!”
“Hey, Uncle Luca.”
“Missed you,” Laura rushes me, raising her arms.
I swing her up into my arms, even though she’s getting way too big for that, and lay a loud kiss on her cheek. “Missed you, ladybug.”
“Are you having a baby?” she asks, her eyes wide.
My stomach sinks but I keep my face blank as I shake my head. “No.”
“Do you still have a girlfriend?” Gino asks.
“I hope so,” I say honestly.
“You need to do something special for her,” Jack advises, looking well beyond his twelve years.
“Is that right?” I shoot Justine a look. She rolls her lips together, trying not to laugh.
“Yep. But Mom says girls don’t like it when you annoy them just because you like them,” he continues.
“It’s outdated,” Gino adds seriously.
This time, I chuckle. “So, what should I do?” I ask the little horde of fart faces I love like my own kids.
“Prove that she can trust you,” Jack says.
“A pony,” Valentina suggests.
“Nope.” Laura shakes her head. “Buy her a ring.”
“And ask her to marry you!” they all shout in unison.
My sisters and brother chuckle but I freeze because where that statement would have sent me spiraling a year ago, it doesn’t make me panic the way it used to.
“Luca, he’s kidding,” Nikki says.
“I know,” I say, biting the corner of my lip.
“Holy shit,” Robbie mutters, earning a smack from his wife for swearing in front of the kids. Not that they haven’t heard it before.
“Get my son another scotch,” Pop calls out.
Then my family laughs, my sisters wrap me up in hugs, and I nod as Robbie books me a train ticket to Newark, New Jersey for Sunday morning.
* * *
Beingwith my family grounds me the way it always does. I remember my roots; I remember who I am and what I want. And I want Abbi Walsh.
But while I’ve been in Philadelphia, surrounded by a flock of family who always has my back, I can’t help but think who’s looking out for Abbi? Yeah, she has Chloe who is one hell of a friend. But she doesn’t have the home you can always show up at and know you’ll be welcomed. She doesn’t have the history with a group of people who love you, even at your worst. She doesn’t have that safety net and I wonder if that’s why she always runs and hides? Why would she give her trust when no one, save for Chloe and the Crawfords, have ever kept it safe for her? Can she ever truly trust me? Confide in me and allow me to be the man, the family, she leans on?
After a pretty special weekend celebrating my brother’s achievements, I kiss my munchkins goodbye and board a train to New Jersey. The two-hour ride leaves me with plenty of time to sort out what I want to say to Abbi.
That I received a phone call early this morning from Callie, confirming that I’m not the father. Even though we’re still waiting for the paternity test results, the real father stepped forward, claiming his rights as a dad. And with the financial support that followed, Anastasia admitted the truth. Her pregnancy doesn’t match up with the date of our hooking up. Her team will release a statement today, clearing Abbi’s and my names from the drama of hers.
Then, Callie promised she will do everything she can to spin a more positive message surrounding Abbi and her outreach work. I know it won’t solve everything overnight but it’s a step in the right direction. While I’m not too concerned with my reputation, I don’t want my poor decisions to affect Abbi’s.
“How’s it going?” A man sits down next to me.
“Hey,” I say, lifting my chin in greeting.
“Traveling for business or pleasure?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me. I can tell he recognizes me but can’t place me. It’s a bit of a relief he doesn’t know exactly who I am.
In fact, it fills me with a lightness, an ease, to admit the truth. “Trying to win my girl back.”
He leans back, surprised by my honesty. Then he chuckles, and shakes his head. “How badly did you mess up?”
“Pretty bad,” I admit, glancing out the window.
“Cheat on her?”
“No.”
“Lie to her?”
“Nope.” I shake my head, turning back toward him.
He studies me. “Drugs, alcohol, gambling?”
“None of the above.”
He nods and pulls EarPods out of his bag. “Then you’ll be fine.”
“How do you know?”
“If you’re traveling on a train on a Sunday to apologize for something you didn’t even do, she’ll forgive you. Women love a grand gesture. And taking SEPTA to NJ Transit is pretty damn big.”
I laugh but he shoots me a knowing glance.
“You’re serious?” I ask, wondering how low women’s standards for a grand gesture are. Taking public transportation shouldn’t rate that high.
“Trust me,” he says, popping in an EarPod.
“Okay,” I say, deciding to take him at his word. Leaning back in my seat, I watch the outside pass by, counting down the minutes until I can apologize to my girl.
And hopefully, bring her home.