Sinful Kisses by Emily Bowie

CHAPTER 38

Word travels fast in our world. I have Hugo stepping into the dirty soil of the farm. He’s never been out here. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to him before. Truly had a conversation. I was brought up with him being one of my uncles, due to how close he and my father were. All of my father’s top men were my uncles. The fact they weren’t blood-related didn’t matter.

“Hi, Romeo.”

I stand from the porch and walk to meet him. I refuse to show my nervousness around him. With everything happening, I don’t know where I stand with in the Cosa Nostra. He could be here to take me out.

We shake hands. “My condolences.”

The small sounds of the farm circle around us when he doesn’t respond. I wonder if he blames me for his son’s death.

He finally breaks the growing awkward silence between us. “You remind me of your father.” He takes a moment to look around the farm. “He too had to rise from the ashes. His father used to beat him if anything went wrong. One time, his crew was attacked. He was the only one who lived. So, your grandfather shot him. Told him if he lived, he would be made. But he needed to live through the same pain his crew had. He was tough on him. It’s one of the reasons your father refused to put you in danger. He always thought you had greater potential than what we offered. If he were alive today, he would be proud. I’m proud to make you one of my captains. You have quickly gained the respect of others. It’s a testament to your leadership skills.”

This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I wait for the catch. I worked so hard to come to this point; I’m waiting for it to be yanked away from me. I wait for it to grab hold of my heart, knowing I’ve earned it.

I envisioned this day differently. It’s lacking and anticlimactic. I should be ecstatic. Gloating. Relieved. I finally made it happen for my brother and me. But I just feel empty.

“Thank you, Uncle.”

“I need you or your brother to take a trip for me.”

“I’ll do it.” If he’s asking for my brother, he wants someone gone. I need to work out this thing that’s clouding over me.

A week haspassed, and the emptiness that consumes me follows me around like a dark cloud. I don’t normally enjoy killing anyone, but it’s part of my life. When I pulled the trigger, I didn’t regret it. I didn’t enjoy it. I stayed empty, with no emotions.

My edge is gone. I’m good at what I do, because I feel. I have a temper. I work well because of the anxiety that courses through me. It pushes me.

All of a sudden, I reached my dreams, and it’s not important anymore. I don’t give a fuck about it. I let Gia fucking Rossi get away. I’m no different than I was in high school. I took a step back. But now I know what she tastes like. I know how her skin is smooth to the touch. My soul won’t let me forget about her. It refuses to push her behind me. She’s all I can think about. She is all I see. And I fucking sold her like a piece of property. I’m no different from my father.

He had the same air about him. He would sell anything and anyone if it helped him succeed. I strived to be different. In the end, I still turned out like him.

“What do you have to mope around about?”

“I’m not fucking moping,” I snarl at Max. The heat of the day has sweat covering my skin. I’m going to miss this place. Fuck, I never thought I would say that.

“You have everything you wanted. It’s in the palm of your hand. We did it.”

I scoff. It’s true, and I still hate everything. My mind immediately conjures an image of Gia. It’s the only time my body reacts. I want to punch or kill someone. Anyone but her though. She’s the one who deserves my punishment, and I still can’t make myself want to hurt her. She deserves my hatred, and I’m too weak to bring that emotion out. That’s how empty I am.

“It’s not enough.”

Deep inside, I know it will never be enough until I have Gia by my side. She’s always been my end game. Where I landed within the ranking of the mafia was a pastime I did until I made her mine. Now, it’s pointless. I had what I honestly wanted under me. Needing me. And I lost her. I let her go without a fight. I willingly chose this life over her.

I thought it would be enough. I thought if I had to force her love, it would destroy me. None of that was true. I would take her chained up, forcing her love, over what I have now.

“How is it you’re still hung up on Gia, when you’ve never cared about another human being in your life?”

She’s my obsession. Her sinful kisses fueled me to greatness. Now, I’m left as a shell of the person I once was. I feel a tingle of hurt, anger, and betrayal all rolled together. The moment is fleeting until I’m left with emptiness once more.

I want to hate her for ruining me. If I didn’t save her, I would still be myself. I’d be happy with what I have. It’s because of her I want more.

My brother is staring at me, and only then do I remember he asked me a question. “Fuck off.”

“The Romeo I know would stop at nothing for what he wants.”

“Have you forgotten I got what I want? What we want. You’re welcome.”

“You’re being a fucking idiot.” He patronizes me. I shake my head in disbelief, ready to walk away. “I expected you to put up a fight. Chase her or something.”

Blowing out a deep breath, I try to keep my temper at bay. “She chose what she wants.”

He laughs. “I’ve never known you to back down.”

“She’s a fucking Rossi. We would have ended up killing each other.”

“I’m not blind or stupid. You’ve been in love with her since you set eyes on her.”

I can’t even deny that to myself anymore. She has always been my holy grail. I used to watch her from afar. I hated that I was envious of anyone she smiled at.

“We got what we want because we let her go. Because I let her free. It was the plan, and I stuck to it.”

“Now find a way to keep the territory and get the girl.” Max stands ready to fight me on this issue. It reminds me of how quickly they had become friends. Jealousy hits me like a sledgehammer.

“I can have any woman I want.” Even as I say it, my dick stays deflated, only wanting Gia Rossi.

“We both know you only want one girl.” He levels me with a knowing look.

“She betrayed us. She’s lucky I’m letting her live.” Facts are facts. I remind myself that I can’t let my attachment to her get in the way.

“We both know you would never harm her. She tried to kill you, and all you did was fuck her.”

“She clouded my judgment. All she would do is end up getting me killed.”

“I disagree. She made you rise to greatness.”

My heart starts to beat. It has hope that I refused to allow it to see. My brother is pushing the image I want but know I can’t have. “She’s a backstabbing bitch.” I don’t mean a single word of it. But I have to say something before my brother can see right through me.

“I told her to leave you. I pushed her away from you. If she stayed, you would have been killed. Anyone could see it before it happened. Coy knew it. That’s why he kept you alive instead of killing you. Why he agreed to anything dealing with you and a Rossi. He thought the Rossis would get rid of you. And he wouldn’t have to.”

Fire burns in my veins. “What the fuck did you say?”

“Coy was using you.”

“No, what the fuck did you say to Gia?”

That addicting burn runs rampant in my chest and nerves. It lights my entire body up. I charge my brother. I don’t hold back when I pummel him to the ground before landing a punch to his jaw, then to his gut. He blocks my shots the best he can but doesn’t fight back.

“Fight me!” I holler. I pick him up by the hair and punch his face once again. Blood leaks from his lips.

“We all knew if you were to succeed, you had to let her go. Now you need to reclaim her.”

My brother is lucky I have no weapons on me; otherwise, he’d be a dead brother. “You made this happen?” I roll beside him, heaving. My own brother backstabbed me. I have no one. The two people I hoped to be on my side played me.

“I did it for you. You have the power. You can get her now,” he replies, using his thumb to wipe at the blood on his face.

My Adam’s apple bobs as I try to control the rage I have against my sibling.

“It’s about time you get out of your slump. Fucking fight for the girl, asshole.” He stands, extending his hand to me.

“I wouldn’t have to fight for her if it wasn’t for you.” I accept his hand. Deep down, I know he has my back, even if it seems backward.

“And you’d be dead. So, you’re welcome.”

“It’s not over yet. I might as well be killed if I can’t have her.” My mind is running with ideas. Gia Rossi is not going to get away from me.

Max hits my shoulder. “Now you’re fucking talking.”

I lift a brow. “You make no sense. You told her to leave. Now I should get her back?” My body wants to hope. My nerves rapidly fire at the thought of touching her once again.

“That sounds about right. You have an in with the family now. It’s a good thing I got the brains for both of us.”

We both chuckle, knowing getting Gia back will never be easy. Nicoli Rossi guards his daughters like we guard our gold. Gia is one of the most precious things he holds and will not be giving her away for free.