More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 21:

Giovanni

W

e drove in silence. Casey didn't utter a word to me since I asked her for a paternity test. I didn't even feel bad about it. If she had nothing to hide, then what would be the problem in getting confirmation? Every part of me was hoping that this was all a big misunderstanding and that I wasn't the father. That would mean that Isabella and I could be together again.

She keeps walking away from you.

That phrase echoed in my mind over and over again. Every time she walked away from me, she broke me a little more. Having the hope that I would be able to call her mine again being ripped away from me over and over again was torture.

If you walk away now then that's it, Isabella.

I was angry at her. I was angry that she walked away from me again. Did our relationship mean that little to her? She had no problem leaving and I couldn't accept that. We were supposed to be together. My hands tightened around the steering wheel and I took a deep breath in trying to get a handle on my emotions. The last person I wanted to show emotion in front of was Casey.

“You take the next left,” she muttered, bringing me out of my thoughts.

She turned away from me and crossed her arms. She was hurt - that much was clear but I didn't care for her feelings the way she hoped I would. Our relationship had always been purely physical - since the first day I met her. She was attractive and interested and I didn't need anything complicated. I should feel bad that she went on to develop feelings for me but I didn't. I had made it clear from the beginning what this was going to be. Her feelings were not my responsibility.

I turned around the corner and she pointed to the building up ahead.

“You can just park on the street,” she said.

I maneuvered into an open parking spot along the street and turned the engine off. A rush of nerves settled over me at the thought of going inside. I had no idea what to expect and that wasn't something I welcomed. I needed to be in control of a situation and everything about this out of control situation was driving me insane. Casey grabbed her handbag and stepped outside the car. I reached for my wallet and followed her lead. I pulled my coat closer to me as we walked through the front doors. It was a small clinic. There were a handful of empty chairs scattered along the walls of reception. I followed Casey to the counter where a petite receptionist sat behind. She glanced up at us, peeping from behind her large round glasses.

“Hola, Casey Fonseca - tengo una cita con el Dr. González,” Casey said.

The receptionist nodded and politely pointed to the waiting room. “Ella estará contigo ahora.”

We took a seat and I couldn't help but tap my foot nervously against the floor. There were pictures of babies hanging on the walls. Tons of babies. There were sleeping babies, smiling babies, crying babies - they were everywhere. Pressure spread across my chest at the sight of them. I was pretty sure I didn't even want children. Or maybe I did but it was never something I had thought about. I certainly never expected to be stuck having a baby with someone I didn't love. No matter the decisions I had made in the past, if I was ever going to bring a child into this world, I would have imagined it going differently.

I took a deep breath in and ran my fingers through my hair.

“Can you stop?” Casey muttered. “You're making me nervous.”

“Good. I don't want to be the only one nervous.”

She said nothing more and we sat in silence until a dark-haired doctor stepped through the door. She was a much older woman but I was thankful for her welcoming smile as she looked over at us.

“Buenos días, come on in.” She stepped back and gestured towards her room.

Casey stood up and greeted Dr. Gonzalez as I followed closely behind them.

“Dr. Gonzalez, this is Giovanni.” Casey pointed to me. “The baby daddy.”

I extended my hand. “That is still to be confirmed.”

Casey turned to gape at me but Dr. Gonzalez just smiled and shook my hand, her face remained unchanged at my comment. I was pretty sure she had seen some complicated situations in line of work.

“Casey, you can lie down on the bed like you did the last time you were here,” she instructed. “How are you feeling? Has the morning sickness stopped?”

Casey removed her coat and pulled herself onto the bed, leaning against it. “It's not as bad as it was, but I still get it every now and then.”

Dr. Gonzalez nodded and slipped on a pair of gloves. I sat on the only other chair in the room and observed them. Casey lifted her top to reveal the small bump that started to form by her stomach. I hadn't noticed it before and the sight of it made me feel sick.

“Okay, we're just going to check on the little one,” Dr. Gonzalez said as she started spreading gel on Casey's stomach.

I couldn't watch. I wasn't feeling queasy at what they were doing, I was just unsettled by the situation. I wasn't ready to be a father, that much was clear to me now. I didn’t want to accept it. If I accepted that then that would mean that I would have really lost Isabella forever and I wasn't ready for that.

“And there it is,” Dr. Gonzalez announced.

A small heartbeat started to come through the machine and I turned to face the screen. The black and white lines across the screen were making it difficult for me to focus on what they were looking at.

“Lo siento,I don't know what I'm looking at,” I said sheepishly.

Casey chuckled and waited for Dr. Gonzalez to explain.

She smiled at me before turning to the screen, pointing. “Do you see this little thing over here? It's like a small little kidney bean?”

That I could see, now that she was pointing at it. I nodded as she continued.

“That's it,” she announced. “That's your baby.”

I looked back at the screen and focused on the kidney bean. It was so tiny and I couldn't understand how that small little thing developed into a baby. I felt a rush of unexpected emotion come over me at the sight of it. It wasn't the bean's fault. It was an innocent bystander in this situation.

“You're just over nine weeks now,” Dr. Gonzalez explained to Casey. “Your baby is about the size of a kidney bean which is around one point five to two centimeters.”

“That's so tiny!” Casey gasped.

Dr. Gonzalez chuckled. “Yes, it's small for now, but it's going to grow significantly over the next few months.”

I pulled my eyes away from the screen and turned to Dr. Gonzalez. “And what about a paternity test? Can that be done while she is still pregnant?”

Casey glared at me. “Giovanni, please.”

“I have every right to ask this, Casey,” I snapped and turned back to Dr. Gonzalez.

Her face remained unchanged again and I was impressed with how she managed to keep it together, but she had clearly been doing this for years.

“There are a couple of options that can be done while the mother is pregnant. I would recommend doing a NIPP - a non-invasive prenatal paternity test,” she explained. “We would need a blood sample from each of you and we can compare that to the fetal cells present in the mother's bloodstream.”

“And how accurate is it?” I asked.

“It's the most accurate test we can do. The result is more than ninety-nine percent accurate.”

“And how early can we get that done?”

“After the eighth week of pregnancy. So you're already at the point where the test can be conducted, if you wish.”

Casey crossed her arms. “Come on, Giovanni, this is hardly necessary.”

“I have the right to know,” I retorted. “If it's mine like you say it is, then you have nothing to worry about.”

Even from here, I could see her nostrils flaring in anger. I wasn't here to care for Casey's feelings. I was here for answers.

I turned back to Dr. Gonzalez. “Well, let's do this then.”

***

After we each gave the blood samples needed for the test, we were on our way back from the clinic. It was going to take a few weeks to get the test back so all I could do now was be patient. Casey was seething as she sat next to me. Her arms were crossed and she refused to look in my direction.

“I don't understand why you're so angry, Casey,” I muttered. “You know I have every right to get this done.”

“The fact that you think I would lie about something like this is upsetting to me, Giovanni!” she shouted.

“There's no need to raise your voice,” I snapped. “If you're not lying then you have nothing to worry about.”

She huffed and crossed her arms again. “Please just drop me at my place.”

We drove the rest of the way in silence. She wasn't too far from the clinic so I only had to endure this energy for a little while longer. I didn't feel bad that she was angry at me. Why would I? I needed answers and I was going to get them. I tried not to focus too much on the test. I didn't want to put my hopes into something that had a chance of coming back with the results I didn't want.

I stopped outside her apartment building. “Here we go.”

Casey didn't move. She kept her arms crossed as she turned to face me. “That little kidney bean is ours, Giovanni.”

“Cas-”. I started to say, but she cut me off.

“You’ve always known how I’ve felt about you. Those were more than just casual hook-ups for me.”

I could see the flash of emotion in her deep brown eyes. I had always known that it meant more to her, but I didn’t care. At the time, she was a convenient means to an end. I could see how badly she wanted this to be true and that’s what concerned me. She only had eyes for me, even when I didn’t want that. I could have said anything - anything that would probably be hurtful to her and popped that bubble she was living in, but I decided against it. I didn’t have to be a dick.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Casey.”

Without so much of a goodbye, she reached for her handbag and stepped outside my car, slamming my door as she turned on her heels.

I rolled my eyes at her unnecessary reaction and turned my car back on. My phone started to ring and Alvaro's name was flashing on the screen of my handsfree kit. I turned down the road and answered the call.

“Hola, hermano,”I greeted.

“Hola, Giovanni,” Alvaro greeted. “Where are you?”

“I just dropped Casey off. We had a doctor's appointment.”

“And how did it go?”

“Well, I asked for a paternity test so you can imagine how that went down,” I muttered.

“A paternity test?” he asked, surprised. “I'm sure she didn't like that.”

“Nope,” I changed the subject. “But what's up?”

“Listen, Mama went back home earlier today, but I'm not sure how she's going to handle being alone. She's been up and down these last few days and I don't think she's figured out exactly what she is going to do,” Alvaro explained. “I know Papa is meant to come back tomorrow so I wanted to ask if you could go by their place and just check on her before he gets home.”

With everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks, I had completely forgotten about the mess that was my parent's relationship. My father had been out of town for business for a while now which gave my mother time to try and figure out her next step. I still carried all the anger towards my father over what he had done and I hadn't seen him since. I had chosen to avoid him because I didn't know how I would react if I had to see him again. I was still so angry.

“Yeah, of course,” I replied. “I'm on the road now so I'll head over there and check on her.”

“Thank you,” Alvaro said. “She knows about the whole Casey and Isabella situation by the way so be prepared for some questions.”

I rolled my eyes. “Wonderful.”

I had been dodging my mother’s texts about it up till now, but that certainly wasn’t going to be easy in person. I turned in the direction of my parent's house as Alvaro remained silent for a moment.

“How's Mateo and Penelope?” I asked.

“Both are doing great now. You should come by soon and see him.”

“I will.”

“And you?” Alvaro asked. “Have you seen Isabella?”

The ache in my chest returned at the mention of her name again. I wondered if I would be able to hear it without the pain that accompanied it. I could tell Alvaro what happened last night but, truthfully, I didn't have the energy for it.

“Briefly,” I murmured. “Listen, Alvaro, can I call you later?”

“Sure.”

We said our goodbyes and I disconnected the call. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours and I finally had a moment to myself to wrap my head around it. Turns out, I didn't want to though - I didn't want to think of any of it so instead, I turned up the volume and focused on the music blaring through my speakers.