More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 23:

Giovanni

A

familiar reggaeton beat came on next and my mind wandered back to the time with Isabella in her coffee shop. That would always be one of my favourite memories with her. I was trying to show her how much she already meant to me and after finally getting Reyna to tell me where she was, I couldn't help but seek her out. The surprised look on her face as she peeped around the corner. Her contagious laugh and bright smile. She was so care-free and relaxed that day. I remembered the way we danced and what it felt like to have her body close to mine.

I just wanted to feel her close to me again.

A part of me was screaming to pick up the damn phone and tell her about the paternity test. Tell her that there's a chance this nightmare would be over, but I couldn't do that. It would be selfish of me to put her through that knowing that the outcome could be an unfavourable one. She had decided to keep herself out of this situation and I couldn't blame her. If the roles were reversed, could I have watched her have someone else's baby?

No fucking way.

Just the thought of her with someone else made me feel like I had been kicked in the stomach. I never wanted to think of her with anyone but me and it was tearing me apart inside that she wasn't mine anymore. I waited so long to find her and now I have lost her. I didn't think I would ever be able to get over that. I never even believed in love before I met her. She showed me what it was like to give yourself over to someone entirely and how terrifyingly exciting that could be.

Now all I was left with was the heartbreak of having fucked that all up.

My hands tightened around the wheel as I pulled into the driveway of my parent's house. I followed the path to the back parking where I always parked my car. When Alvaro and I moved out of the house, they decided to find a smaller property outside of the city. I hadn't spent much time here since my relationship with my father started to go downhill. I chose to avoid him after what happened the first time. I was still angry at the fact that he never took responsibility for the pain he caused my mother and our family. I always seemed to be the one who was ready to protect her.

As I pulled closer to the top, two figures caught my eye at the top of the back stairs. My father was only expected back tomorrow but if he was here already, I needed to avoid him. I didn't have the energy to deal with him right now. I had managed to avoid him since that night in Valencia. Whenever he tried to call, I ignored it and I had no intention of speaking to him again.

What was I supposed to say?

I stopped my car just out of view but where I could still get a good look. I squinted, trying to make out who it was. I wanted to go closer but a strange, unwelcomed voice urged me not to. I leaned forward over the steering wheel as my mother turned to the figure in front of her with a smile on her face. I couldn't make out exactly who it was but I could see that it was a male figure that was unfamiliar to me. He stood in close proximity to her and he reached out and caressed her cheek. The figure turned and revealed his side-profile. Even from here, I could tell that it was definitely not my father.

What the fuck was going on?

My mother looked up at him and before I knew it, they were locked in a passionate embrace that I should never have witnessed. My mother stood at the top of her stairs making out with someone who was not my father.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I muttered in shock.

First, I caught my father and now here I am catching my mother being unfaithful. My family was slipping further and further away from what I once knew it to be. A wave of overwhelming anger consumed me at the sight of her and there was no way I could face her now. My mother has always been the voice of reason in my life. She has always been the voice that guided me in the right direction and to make better decisions. I had always believed her to be an angel to me and now she revealed herself to be someone I didn't know at all.

Was this a fucking joke?

Instead of parking and getting out of the car, I put my car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway before anyone noticed.

I couldn't think straight. I was trying to put the pieces of my parent's relationship together. My father was unfaithful to my mother and now it turns out that she had been doing the same? How long had this been going on for? Was it before my father or after? Did that make a difference?

“Joder!”I banged my hand against the steering wheel.

I didn't know how I was supposed to react, but I was angry. I was angry at both of my parents. Why couldn't they be like normal couples and get a fucking divorce if they were so unhappy together?

But to continue to be unfaithful to each other? What a fucking joke. I didn't know anything about my parents and their relationship. The family that I had grown up with was nothing more than a distant memory. I never remembered my parents being unhappy with each other when I was younger. But now? Now I had caught both my parents betraying each other. It didn't have to be this way and why did I have to be the one to find this out? I could have happily remained ignorant. My parents were no longer just my parents - now I was viewing them in a different light and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I was spiraling in my own thoughts and all I could focus on was how much I needed Isabella right now. She was my only comfort and the only one to keep me from slipping into my self-destructive ways.

Without a second thought, I turned in the opposite direction toward her apartment.

***

I arrived at her apartment building and parked in front of it. I hadn't quite figured out what I was going to do but I couldn't be alone right now. I didn't know how to begin to work through everything I now knew. When I caught my father in Valencia, I was in a fit of rage. I was angry because of what he was putting my mother through again. I had expected this from him but not from her. She was better than this. She was better than him.

I slammed my door, locking my car behind me as I pushed through the door to her building. I called on the elevator and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get a handle on my emotions. The doors opened and I stepped inside, pressing the button for the fourth floor.

“Come on.” I tapped my foot nervously.

I didn't focus on the fact that we were broken up. She was the only one that would understand what I was going through right now and I needed that. I needed someone who could be there for me and keep me from turning to my darkest thoughts. The thoughts that dismissed all relationships and the good in them. The thoughts that I could never deal with because of my constant inability to face my emotions. She helped me that night in Valencia. She kept me from doing something I would have later regretted. Punching my father once was not my intention - I was ready to beat the fucking shit out of him. She was there for me whether I was venting or staying silent. She held my hand through it all and I never knew I needed that kind of comfort until her.

I stepped out of the elevator as it opened onto her floor. I walked up to her door and knocked on it lightly at first.

No answer.

“Isabella?” I shouted, knocking a bit harder. “Isabella, please open up.”

Still no answer.

I continued at her door for a little while longer before I had to accept that there was no one home. I tried the door handle but it was locked.

“Fuck,” I muttered.

Where the hell was she?

I leaned against the door and took a deep breath in. I could easily call her, but what are the chances that she would even pick up? She had made it pretty clear earlier that she was done with us but I needed her right now. No matter how selfish that was, I was already at her door and there was no turning back.

I made my way back downstairs. I needed to wait for her to come home. I just needed to talk to her. She would know what to say. She always knew the right thing to say. I pushed through the door onto the street, welcomed by the cold breeze picking up its pace. I looked around trying to figure out my next move. A bar down the road caught my eye and it was calling for me.

If she wasn't going to be there for me right now, I knew what would be.