Interview for a Wife by Ruth Ann Nordin
Chapter Thirteen
Deanne sorted through the packages of jerky in the barrel close to the window. She was quickly learning that Tanner Bloom was a picky customer. He had to have everything a particular way. She secretly felt sorry for his wife. It was no wonder his wife refused to do the shopping.
“Make sure the package is nice and smooth. I don’t want any curled edges,” Tanner said.
“I’m checking everything carefully,” Deanne assured him as she continued her search for the perfect jerky package.
She made a mental note to be more careful when putting a new shipment of items on the shelves or in the barrels. One never knew when someone like Tanner would come into the store.
When she finally found what she was looking for, she pulled it out and showed it to him. “What do you think?”
He took it and turned it over. After a few seconds of studying it, he nodded. “That’ll do.” He gave it back to her. “Add it to my order.”
She nodded and carried the package to the counter. She wrote down the last of his order. Then she waited until he figured out where he wanted to put the jerky in the crate. In the end, he chose to slip it between the flour and the coffee beans.
“How much do I owe you?” he asked.
“The total comes to $2.35.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “That much?”
“The man who makes the jerky raised his prices.”
“When was this?”
“Three days ago.” She stared at him in disbelief. How could he not have noticed the big sign she had posted above the barrel announcing the price change? He’d kept her sorting through that barrel for a good five minutes.
He shook his head but dug out the extra penny from his pocket and put it on the counter.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Because he kept her busy for an entire half hour looking for all the things he wanted that met up to his expectations, she still had a lot of items to put away that had arrived that morning. She was going to have to rush through lunch in order to close the store on time. She hated closing late because it meant Marsha had to watch the children longer and keep the food warm for everyone.
Forcing a smile, she took the money from Tanner and put it into the leather pouch. Most customers were a delight to work with, but there were some who made her very happy when they left the store.
Once Tanner was gone, she went to the back room where stacks of crates were waiting for her. Bill had opened all of them and was organizing them according to type.
“It sounds like Tanner was giving you grief out there,” Bill told her as she approached.
“Before today, I had no idea how a little crinkle on a package could be the source of so much distress.”
He chuckled. “If you think Tanner is bad here, just imagine how he is at home.”
She cringed. “I’d rather not think about what his poor wife and children go through.”
“At least you only have to deal with him once in a while. Fortunately, he doesn’t come in much.”
“Thank goodness for small favors.”
He took out the utensils that were in one of the opened crates and placed them neatly on top of a crate that hadn’t been opened yet. “While you put these out there, I’ll get the cups ready,” he said as he handed her the utensils.
She hurried to take them from him then put them where they belonged in the store. She hadn’t thought of it before, but it was nice to work with someone who was as pleasant as Bill was. It was even better they were married. With a smile, she returned to the back room, more excited to see him than to retrieve more items to put in the main part of the store.
***
That night, Bill watched Deanne undress again. He didn’t feel as awkward about it as he had the previous night. Tonight, his goal wasn’t to see if he could get an erection. He was simply enjoying the opportunity to get to see her without some clothes on.
This time, she did notice that he was watching her. She happened to glance in the mirror, and her gaze went to him. She gasped and spun around, clutching the nightgown to her chest.
After a moment, she let out a relieved laugh. “For a moment, I thought you were someone else. You don’t usually sit up in bed that long.”
She put the nightgown over her head, and he got a clear view of her nice round breasts before the gown fell down her body.
Well, that was certainly better than seeing her from the back. He cleared his throat. “I’m not tired. I thought if you weren’t tired, we could talk for a while.”
“Talking would be nice.” She flipped her braid over her shoulder and turned the wick down on the kerosene lamp. “I’m not very tired, either. You think I would be after putting all of those things away in the store.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to sleep on the busiest of days.”
She went to the window, parted the curtains, and then opened it. “Is that enough of a breeze?”
“Yes, it feels good.”
She sat next to him then asked, “What’s on your mind?”
The moonlight coming in through the window gave him a good view of her face. Once more those soft curls that refused to be confined to the braid settled against her cheeks in a way that made him think that when Adam first saw Eve, he must have thought that, of all of God’s creations, there wasn’t anything more beautiful than woman. He smiled. “Actually, I was thinking that you’re lovely to look at.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You were thinking that?”
“I couldn’t help but think it. You are a masterpiece. No artist could render better work.”
She offered a shy smile. “That’s beautiful. How did you come up with that?”
He shrugged. “Right after I lost the use of my legs, Winnie and Piper brought me a lot of poetry. They love poetry. They even encouraged me to write some, but my attempts were nothing like what they expected.”
“What were your attempts like?”
“Pathetic.” He laughed. “I had to finally tell them that no matter what they hoped, I wasn’t going to turn into a writer. I was going to continue on at the general store. Numbers are a lot easier to manage than words are.”
“I don’t know. I thought what you said just now was poetic to me.”
“To be fair, you provide good inspiration. I’m sure if you were there when I was trying to write those poems, Winnie and Piper would have been thrilled with the results.”
He couldn’t be sure, but he thought she blushed as she chuckled. As it was, her gaze had lowered, an indication she was both pleased but also unsure of where things were going. He reached forward and took her hand in his. “I’m very lucky you came into the store when I was looking for a wife.”
She didn’t respond for a moment, and he was beginning to think he had put her in an uncomfortable position. Perhaps it might be best to wish her a good night’s sleep and let this be the end of this conversation for now. Her first marriage had been different from his. Certainly, these terms of endearment weren’t as natural for her as they were for him.
Just as he was ready to squeeze her hand and tell her good night, she whispered, “You’re nothing like Terry, and for that I’m grateful.”
He couldn’t recall if she’d told him the name of her first husband before or not, but she was opening up to him, which was a good sign. “I want us to have a good marriage. You’re a terrific woman. Some men don’t know a good thing when they have it, but I’m smart enough to know that I struck gold when I married you.”
Because it seemed like the right moment, he leaned toward her and kissed her. A spark of uncertainty swept over him. While kissing was simple enough on the surface, it marked the transition in their marriage. Once physical contact was established, there was no going back to the way things had been before. But really, he didn’t want it to go back to how things were before. He wanted to move forward.
He started to deepen the kiss when he felt her stiffen. He shifted away from her to give her some space. “Would you rather I not kiss you?”
“Kissing is fine. It’s just that…” She paused then sighed. “I didn’t think I would have to explain this to you since you said we wouldn’t consummate the marriage. But you might as well know that I can’t have children. I know how important children are to men. Terry and I had plenty of arguments over my inability to conceive. I’d rather not have those arguments with you, too. When I married him, I didn’t know I couldn’t conceive, but after being with him for six years and him being able to have a child with the woman he had the affair with, there’s no denying the truth. Everyone expects a woman to be able to have children.” She turned her face away from him.
He had to think over what he should say. He didn’t want to come out and tell her that as much as he wanted to consummate the marriage, he wasn’t physically able to. What man would want to admit something so embarrassing? But at the moment, what he was going through faded in comparison to what she was going through. The more he heard about her past, the less he wanted to know. She’d had more problems to contend with in her first marriage than whether or not she could have children. One would never have guessed she had all of these burdens she was carrying around with her. She kept them hidden very well.
Bill put his arm around her shoulders. “A woman’s value doesn’t come from whether or not she can have children. Her value comes from who she is. Deanne, you’re one of the loveliest women I’ve ever come across. There’s far more to marriage than having children. There’s companionship and love. A man is incomplete without the right woman in his life. I think you and I can have something wonderful. I’m sorry for what Terry put you through. If I could erase all of that for you, I would. All I can do is offer you a fresh beginning. I don’t need more children. I have Amber and Vernon. And they’re now your children, too. I know this is all new, and we’re still getting used to each other. Right now, I only intend to kiss you. And touch your hand and maybe even hold you.”
At some point, he hoped he might be able to enjoy things of a more physical nature with her, but he wasn’t able to do that right now. And that being the case, there was no sense in making her think they would be doing more.
She relaxed against him, and though she hurried to brush it away, he noticed the tear that slid down her cheek.
He cupped the side of her face with his hand so that he could turn her face toward him. Then he kissed her in hopes that it might help soothe over the fears and doubts she’d brought into the marriage. This time when he went to deepen the kiss, she didn’t stiffen against him. He didn’t go too far with the kiss. For now, soft and gentle seemed to be best.
He proceeded to kiss her cheek and then encouraged her to lie down next to him. Once they had the blanket brought up to their chests, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. He didn’t know how long it was before he fell asleep, but he was sure that he felt a few tears moisten his nightshirt.