Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Ciana

Even though Ifelt like shit, I got up and went to work the next morning. To avoid my mother’s scrutinizing gaze, I didn’t even pause for breakfast. She’d been worried about me the entire day before, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if her mom-senses had started going off and she would have guessed that I was pregnant.

I knew I would have to be extra careful around her until I figured out how to tell everyone I was expecting. Scarlett Donati was too astute. When I was growing up, it had been next to impossible trying to keep something major from her. I’d actually believed that she had eyes in the back of her head until I was twelve.

From the moment I got to work, I felt like a zombie. I’d slept most of the previous day, but I didn’t feel like I’d actually rested. Everyone asked how I was feeling when they greeted me first thing that morning, and I lied, hoping I’d gotten good enough at hiding my emotions that they couldn’t see the mental maelstrom swirling within me.

Darcy gave my arm a squeeze as she passed me on the way in to see her first patient, quietly reminding me that we needed to do my prenatal exam before I left that day. As long as she and I were the only ones who knew about this pregnancy for the time being, I could breathe a little easier.

Thankfully, we were busy, and the morning flew by. As I was grabbing the lunch I’d ordered from the staff break room, I noticed a huge bouquet of flowers in a beautiful glass vase. Curious, I bent to sniff the purple hyacinths while I looked for a card to tell me who they belonged to.

Grabbing the little envelope, I pulled out the note inside. At the top of the card, it said that purple hyacinths were given to say I’m sorry/please forgive me/sorrow. My fingers shook as I read the message below.

From the one who loves you most.

I can’t begin to explain how much I miss you, my Ciana.

We will be together again soon.

It wasn’t signed, but I knew they had to be from Bain. Angry, I tore the card in half and tossed it into the trash just as Darcy walked in to grab her own lunch.

“How pretty,” she said with a smile. “Who is the lucky recipient?”

“Me, apparently,” I muttered, taking the seat farthest away from the flowers. “I’m going to send them over to the nursing home a few blocks over. I’m sure those old ladies will enjoy them.”

My friend took the seat beside me. “Who are they from?” She glanced over her shoulder to make sure we were still alone before lowering her voice. “Are they from the baby’s father?”

I shrugged and picked up a fry. “The card wasn’t signed, but I’m sure they are.” I stuffed my mouth full, chewing angrily.

Darcy patted my arm, but she didn’t ask more questions or press me further. We ate in silence until our receptionist Melissa came in for her own lunch, humming happily to herself. “Looks like someone has a secret admirer,” she singsonged as she sat beside the vase with her own takeout container.

“No,” I said with a disgusted shake of my head. “Just a creeper.”

The perky little blonde’s face fell. “Oh. Well, dang. They’re a dime a dozen, huh?”

“Unfortunately,” I agreed. “Could you send these over to the nursing home? Tell them to give the flowers to a woman who doesn’t get many visitors. Maybe they will make her smile.”

Melissa’s face lit up once again. “Ahh, that’s so sweet. I’ll take care of it right after lunch.”

They were gone by the end of the workday, but I wasn’t ready to go home yet. Telling Milo I had to help Darcy with a few things before we could leave, I walked back to one of the exam rooms and got ready for my prenatal exam. It wasn’t my first experience having a pap smear, but I was still nervous. Darcy was good about keeping her patients calm and distracting them from what she was doing, but I couldn’t stop trembling as she did what she needed to.

Once that torture was over, she took me to the ultrasound room. Our tech was gone already, but that was the point. The more people who knew my secret, the more likely the news would get back to my family. Minutes later, Darcy put in the vaginal probe and started typing away, taking measurements and snapping a few pictures while I watched.

“Wait…” She muttered to herself and shifted the probe a little roughly.

“What?” I cried, my eyes glued to the screen as I tried not to flinch when she shifted again.

“I know twins are common in your family,” she said. “But…”

“But what?” I demanded, still not really seeing what was going on.

“I’m seeing three fetuses, Ciana,” Darcy whispered. “It’s still too early to detect a heartbeat, but there are for sure three babies.”

“What? No!” She had to be joking. With how many times I’d seen our patients pregnant with multiples struggle to safely deliver their babies, having more than one baby at a time had become my own personal nightmare. My eyes scanned the screen, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Usually, I could read the thing with ease, but I was too nervous and emotional to determine what was what all of a sudden. But after a few minutes, my brain finally started working again.

Fingers trembling, I skimmed them over the three babies. “Triplets.” A half-hysterical laugh, half-agonized sob escaped me. “Of course it would be triplets.”

How could I hate someone so much but love the pieces he’d left me with so damn much? I couldn’t even hear their heartbeats yet, but something called to me as I looked at them on the ultrasound screen. To love and protect them until my last breath.

That feeling was so fierce, it took my breath away.

But it was the fear that I could lose one of them before they were even placed in my arms that had me on the brink of a panic attack for the rest of the day.

My phone rang,startling me awake. Groaning, I reached out blindly for where I’d left it on the bed before falling asleep. Without looking at the screen, I swiped my fingers over the surface and lifted it to my ear. “’lo?” I mumbled sleepily.

“Who the fuck sent you flowers?”

His voice had my eyes snapping open as my entire body reacted to the sound of that Irish brogue. Sitting up in bed, I refused to acknowledge the fact that my nipples were already rock hard and my vagina was letting me know loud and clear just how much she missed Torin/Bain’s happy stick.

“That’s what you have to say to me?” I huffed. “After everything that’s happened, the first time we talk, those are the words that leave your mouth?”

I heard his sharp inhale. “Who sent them, Ciana?”

“I thought they were from you!” I hissed before letting out a pathetic laugh. “The card said, ‘From the one who loves you most.’ Stupidly, I thought that meant they were from you. But I should have known better. Your love was only a sick joke.”

“I am the one who loves you most,” he growled. “But I wouldn’t send you useless flowers. I know you, mo chroí. The way to win you back isn’t with a few weeds that will wilt and die in a matter of days.”

I ignored the way his calling me his heart again made my chest all tight and my stomach flip, instead focusing on something that suddenly hit me. “How did you even know someone sent me flowers?”

“I know everything that goes on in your life.”

“No,” I denied in a strangled voice, my free hand going to my belly protectively. “You couldn’t possibly know anything.”

“So little faith,” he murmured, sounding slightly amused. “I have eyes everywhere, Ciana. I always have.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that for a second.” Exhausted, I flopped back against the pillows. A glance at my bedside clock showed me the time, and I nearly groaned. I’d thought it was the middle of the night, yet it was barely nine thirty. Growing humans was exhausting work. “If you know so much about my day-to-day, who sent the flowers?”

I could practically feel the tension that filled him once again. “Don’t worry,” he said in a deceptively soft tone that sent a shiver down my spine. “I’ll find out.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” I snipped. “It’s not even your business if someone sends me flowers. I don’t belong to you.”

“Don’t say that!” he exploded. “You are mine, Ciana.”

The blast of anger and jealousy mixed with what sounded like hurt in his voice made me want to smile for a moment. It was a sick kind of thrill, but I liked that I could cause him pain. That he was jealous suggested he might actually feel something for me, but then I remembered Sheena’s cruel smile and evil laugh.

No.

Bain O’Farrell didn’t love or even care about me.

He just wanted to own me.