Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Ciana

As I cameout of the office, Bain and Declan exited a room at the end of the hall. Seeing me, Declan narrowed his eyes on me, his whole face clenching as he regarded me with dislike before quickly masking it with a smirk. He said something low to Bain, who turned his head and looked right at me.

I stood there, the bottle of vitamins in one hand, the bat in the other, standing outside a room that had obviously been dedicated to Bain’s Red Sox-loving father. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone in and disturbed his dad’s things, but I wasn’t sorry I’d done it.

Lifting my chin mutinously, I squared my shoulders and dared him to yell at me. Instead, to my surprise, his face softened as he practically jogged down the long corridor toward me.

“You should be resting,” he gently scolded. “I don’t want you to overtire yourself.”

Refusing to let his tone soften me, I threw the bottle at his head—hard. He had the reflexes of a cat, however, and caught it before it could nail him in the face. Brows pulled together, he frowned at the vitamins as if he’d never seen them before.

Then realization dawned in his hazel eyes, and his head snapped up. “I can explain.”

“How long?” I seethed, my anger flooding me like a tsunami all over again.

His shoulders tensed. “How long, what?”

“How long had you been planning to knock me up? Sheena was too shocked when she saw that I was pregnant, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was part of her plan too.” My grip tightened even more on the bat. “How long did it take you to convince Darcy to violate me?”

Bain jerked as if I’d hit him with the bat. “Violate you? Ciana, I would never—”

“But you did!” I shouted, tears of frustration and hurt filling my eyes. “You must have thought I was too stupid to figure it out. And while I was slow to catch on, I finally put it together.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid—”

“She messed with my shot, didn’t she?” I demanded, cutting him off.

Blowing out a heavy sigh, he looked over at Declan. “Give us a minute.”

Declan lifted his hands as if in surrender, laughing. The sound grated down my spine like nails on a chalkboard, setting my already frayed nerves even more into disarray. “No problem. I don’t think I want to be in the line of fire when she starts swinging that old bat anyway.”

I kept my gaze locked on Bain’s face, but neither of us spoke until the sound of Declan’s footsteps disappeared down the corridor.

“Well?” I bit out between clenched teeth.

“Yes,” he surprised me yet again when he admitted it. “I did have Darcy discontinue your shot without telling you.”

“And the fertility drugs?” I was so pissed, I was shaking. “I’m going to assume they came into play at some point. Whose idea was that?”

“I…” He grimaced. “I mentioned how desperately I wanted to get you pregnant. Darcy said that the best way to up the chances was to ensure you were extra fertile. When she brought up the drugs, she assured me they wouldn’t harm you in any way.”

I gasped, feeling as if I’d physically been punched in the sternum. “And she didn’t mention the fact that we could conceive multiples? That it was dangerous for the babies and me?”

“She said it was a possibility,” he confirmed and reached for me. But I quickly stepped back out of his reach. If he touched me right then, I wasn’t sure I could stop myself from swinging the bat at his head. “But it was a very low possibility, mo chroí. And I was so caught up in the idea of you carrying my child that I didn’t care. Then you confessed your biggest fear to me of conceiving twins because it was hereditary and you had seen so many horror stories come to life, that I did worry about the possibilities a little more.”

“Not enough!” I touched my free hand to my belly, rubbing over our babies. “Do you realize what you’ve done? How dangerous it will be for the girls with each week that passes? The bigger they get, the less room they will have. The complications they could have are never-ending!” Tears spilled over my lashes as my fear began to overtake me. “And it could have been avoided. All of this could have been avoided if you’d only…”

“Only what?” he whispered imploringly.

I shook my head, refusing to answer. No way was I going to admit to what had run through my head every other day for months. While I’d fought against my continued love for him, I’d fantasized about what it could have been like if everything had been different.

If Bain had really loved me. If we’d met on a busy New York street or at a club, anywhere but that damned island, really. Dating him. Loving him. Having him ask me to marry me. Starting a family together. If he’d truly cared about me, then it wouldn’t have mattered to me who he was. Ryan was just as much related to Sheena as Bain was, but I still loved my cousin unconditionally.

But that was just a fairy tale.

“Ciana, tell me,” he rasped, his eyes pleading with me to answer him.

“No,” I choked out, dashing my tears away with the back of my hand. Sucking in a deep breath, I pointed the bat in his face. “If anything happens to these babies, I will never speak to you again.”

He blanched. “Nothing will happen to either you or our precious babies.”

“You have no clue what kind of nightmares you have unleashed,” I warned, ignoring the flutter in my stomach at how he called the babies precious. “Your selfishness has put our girls at risk. And I won’t forgive you for doing that to them.”

“Nothing is going to happen to them!” he exploded. “I’ve arranged the best possible medical care for you during the next few months and even following their birth. You will have a nurse, a midwife, and a doctor here around the clock the closer your delivery date approaches.”

“If the nurse is Darcy, then find someone else. Because if I ever see her again, I will kill her.” I stepped forward and snatched the bottle of vitamins out of his hand. “And that is a promise. You are just as responsible for putting the girls in danger as she is, but she knew the full extent of the consequences.”

“Have you ever killed anyone before, mo chroí?” he asked softly.

“There’s a first time for everything,” I snapped, turning on my heel to go back the way I’d just come. “And to clarify something for you, if I have to stay here, that means I have the right to say who can come and go in this house. And I say Declan isn’t welcome here.”

“As you wish,” he said right behind me.

I turned mid-step, causing him to nearly crash into me. His arms shot out, wrapping around me so I didn’t land on my ass. Every inch of my body from shoulder to thigh was pressed against his, making me all too aware of how hard his body was, some places more so than others. Caught off guard, I couldn’t hide how good it felt to be back in his arms for a moment.

“Ciana,” he groaned as if he were in physical pain, lowering his head.

I pushed against him before he could kiss me, putting much-needed distance between us. “D-did you just Princess Bride me?” I stuttered in disbelief.

He frowned. “What’s a Princess Bride?”

“Never mind,” I muttered, shaking my head at myself. “Why would I even expect you to understand a reference from one of my favorite movies?”

“You never told me your favorite movie.” He caught my wrist in one of his hands and lifted my hand to press it against the middle of his chest. “I’ll figure out what this Princess Bride movie is, and we will watch it together.”

I jerked away from him. “I don’t want to watch a fucking movie with you, Bain! I just want—”

“Stop saying my name like that.”

His raspy plea caught me by surprise. Fuck, all he’d done from the instant I’d awoken in his arms earlier was surprise me. “What?”

He clenched his eyes closed for a few seconds before slowly lifting his lashes. “I’ve ached to hear you say my name, Ciana. Practically from the first moment I set eyes on your picture, I craved it. The entire time you knew me as Torin, it drove me half mad because all I could imagine was ‘Bain’ leaving your lips. So, please, I’m begging you. Stop spitting out my name like it tastes vile on your tongue.”

It was hard to miss the pain that was not only in his voice, but in his eyes as well.

“To me, Bain is Sheena’s minion,” I told him honestly, for some reason needing to explain why I reacted so harshly to his real name. I was so fucked in the head. This guy had done nothing but hurt me and those I loved repeatedly, yet for some reason, I didn’t like hurting his feelings? “He brought me nothing but pain and fear.”

“I’m not Sheena’s minion,” he growled.

“I’m not so sure,” I said with a shrug. “You are two different men to me. It’s hard for me to separate the two. The man I met and fell for was Torin Kennedy. He won my heart, and then Bain broke it. All I know about Bain is that he doesn’t care who he hurts to get what he wants.”

“I care about you and the babies,” he argued, his handsome face tormented. “Doesn’t that count for something?”

His question gave me pause. It was almost laughable that he considered his selfishness where I was concerned “caring.” Still… That he could feel anything for the babies did mean something to me, but what, I wasn’t sure.

I had to accept that this was my life now. Bain was my children’s father, and no matter what happened, we would be spending the rest of our lives co-parenting together. Whether I loved him or hated him, we had to think of what was best for our daughters.

“I-I don’t know,” I finally whispered. “I guess it’s too early to tell.”