Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Bain

I waiteduntil the car taking Ryan back to the gate was out of sight before following Ciana into the house. One of my men told me where she’d gone, and I started climbing the stairs, Vitucci’s warning echoing in my ears.

“Ciana will find a way to leave you, and when she does, we will be waiting for her. All she has to do is say the word, and her family will be here, ready to fight for her. Every last one of us would willingly die for her.”

Balling my hands into fists, I pressed them to each side of my head, fighting the sound of his voice.

“She might love you, but she will never trust you. And for Ciana, once you’ve lost her trust, you’ve lost her too. It’s only a matter of time before she comes to her senses. Once she does, you should probably sleep with one eye open.”

The latter part of his warning was laughable. If my beauty wanted to kill me, I would give her the loaded gun so she could put a bullet through my skull. The rest, however…

Those were my own fears being verbalized by a man who’d been my enemy for decades. By his own admission, he knew Ciana best, and she herself had said much the same thing.

She might still love me deep down, but she didn’t trust me.

How soon before she wanted to leave me? How long did I have before the threat to Ryan wasn’t enough to keep her at my side? Would the babies be enough for us to bond and mend what I’d broken?

I didn’t know, and that was eating me alive.

Reaching the master bedroom, I turned the knob, only to find it locked. The faint sound of her sobs on the other side of the door reached me, and my knees went weak. When Ryan had made her cry so hard outside, blaming Ciana for Nova’s death, I’d nearly followed through with my threat and shot him in the head myself. If she hadn’t been so distraught and clung to me as she had, needing my comfort, I probably would have.

That fucker didn’t know it, but she had saved his miserable life down there.

“Mo chroí,” I called out. “Open the door.”

“G-go a-away!” she yelled through her sobs. “L-leave me alone!”

Groaning, I pressed my forehead to the door. “Not while you are hurting like this. Please, Ciana. I need to make sure you are okay.”

“Well, I’m not!” she cried. “I-I think I’m having contractions. Bain! Help!”

Fear choked me, and I didn’t pause to think. It took two hard kicks to get the door open, and then I was calling Dr. Rose even as I ran toward the bed. Ciana was lying on her back on the far side of the bed, her hands rubbing her stomach agitatedly as she wept. Her brow was dotted with sweat, and her entire body shook—with pain or fear, I wasn’t sure.

Dr. Rose picked up on the second ring. “Mr. Kennedy,” she greeted. “What can I do for you?”

“She says she thinks she’s having contractions,” I relayed, my voice quavering as I fell to my knees beside the bed. “What do I do?”

“Okay, stay calm.” Her voice was crisp and direct, but that did jack shit for my anxiety. “Has anything out of the ordinary happened today to cause her or the babies stress?”

“She hasn’t been getting much sleep. And this morning, she was ill. Then we had a family issue that upset her.”

“She was ill? Did she vomit?”

“Yes.” I stroked my hand over Ciana’s cheek, wiping away a few of her tears. Her brown eyes pleaded with me to help her, protect her and the babies, but I was helpless to do anything more than speak to the fucking doctor.

“Has she been able to eat or drink anything since?”

My mind went blank as I tried to remember. “Ciana, my love, have you drunk anything since this morning?”

Pain clouded her face as she shook her head. “N-no. I was too nauseated.”

“Okay, she may just be dehydrated. I’m going to bring her some fluids and something for the nausea. Cramps from dehydration can feel like contractions. I’ll be with you in about thirty minutes. Call me if she gets worse.”

After she disconnected, I dropped the phone on the floor and then crawled into the bed beside her. “I’m so scared,” she said, shaking so badly her teeth chattered as she pressed her head to my chest. “I can’t lose them. They’re all I have left now.”

I kissed her sweat-dampened brow. “We aren’t going to lose them,” I promised. “Everything is going to be just fine, mo chroí. Y-you are just dehydrated, like the doctor said.”

“Oh God,” she sobbed. “I hope so.”

“Shh, don’t cry anymore. You will only dehydrate yourself more.” I pulled her closer, kissing her brow over and over again as I stroked my hand over her belly. If I could absorb this pain for her so she didn’t have to feel it, I would. “Don’t be upset, my beauty. I’m sorry I put you through that today. I won’t do it again.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she gritted out as another pain made her middle tighten. I could actually feel it, and it scared the living hell out of me.

Closing my eyes, I said a silent prayer, begging for mercy for her and our babies. When her stomach muscles relaxed, she released a heavy sigh.

“I didn’t put a sniper on Ryan,” I confessed, hoping to comfort her. “I regretted saying I would as soon as the words left my mouth and I saw how badly it upset you.”

“Really?” she asked hopefully.

“Really.”

“Then why didn’t you say something earlier?” she demanded, slapping a hand against my upper arm. “Do you know how scared I was of making even one wrong step out there? Huh, asshole?”

“I was the one who was scared,” I muttered, lowering my head in shame. “I thought as long as there was a possible threat to Ryan, you wouldn’t be tempted to leave with him, regardless of what he promised you.”

“Idiot,” she grumbled. “Why are you always doing things the hard way?”

“I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I’ve done nothing but fuck up from day one. Can’t you see how desperately I need you?”

Another cramp hit her, and she whimpered. “I swear, these babies are just like you,” she complained when the cramp eased. “All you want to do is scare and hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, my beauty. I don’t like hurting you.” I stroked my hand over her belly, the black dress she wore stretched tight over her middle. “I vow to you, I will never hurt you again.”

“Yeah, okay,” she said with a derisive snort. “Don’t complicate this relationship more than it already is by making promises we both know you can’t keep.”

Not wanting to argue with her, I held my tongue and kissed her brow.

It took Dr. Rose thirty-seven minutes to arrive. It was the longest thirty-seven minutes of my life. During that time, Ciana’s pain didn’t get worse, but it didn’t ease either. The doctor and midwife started working as soon as they entered the room. Checking vitals, pressing the Doppler thing to her stomach to listen to all three babies’ heartbeats.

Once they were satisfied that the babies weren’t in any real distress, they hooked up an IV to Ciana’s arm and gave her a shot to help with the nausea.

“Even a little dehydration is risky, Mrs. Kennedy,” Dr. Rose told her. “Don’t hesitate to call me if you feel even a tiny bit off.”

Ciana nodded, not bothering to correct the woman about being my wife. After everything that had happened earlier, I was going to count that as a victory.

“The babies don’t seem to have experienced any issues, but I would still like for you to take it easy for the next week. Stay off your feet and try to avoid stress as much as possible. I think we should get you in for that ultrasound sometime next week, so we can get some measurements of each baby. I have all of the reports from your last doctor, but I like to take a look at things myself just to double-check there isn’t anything someone else may have overlooked.”

“Name the date and time,” I told her. “We will be there.”

“I’ll text you the appointment time once we have it scheduled,” she assured me. “Until then, I want you to do nothing but pamper your wife. Keep her stress levels down as much as you possibly can.” She looked down at Ciana and winked. “All the back rubs and foot massages on demand.”

Ciana gave her a weak smile. “I’d settle for a little cuddling.”

“You want to cuddle, mo chroí?” I asked, surprised. She shrugged without looking at me.

“I trust you know how to take the IV out when the fluids are finished,” Dr. Rose said as she packed up her things. “I’ve left a few extra supplies in case you need more later on.”

“Thank you. I can take care of it myself if there’s a next time.” Ciana grasped hold of the doctor’s hand and squeezed. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Mrs. Kennedy.” The doctor patted the back of her hand. “You get some rest, and we will see you soon.”

I walked the doctor and midwife to the door, where Brody was waiting to escort them out. Closing the door behind them, I went back to Ciana’s side and sat down on the bed. “How are you feeling now?”

“No more cramps and the nausea is gone now, thanks to the meds. But now I’m so sleepy, I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.” She nervously twisted her fingers together.

“Then sleep, my beauty,” I urged.

She shook her head. “I-I can’t. She’ll be waiting for me when I close my eyes.” The stark fear in her eyes was like a gut punch. My inability to protect her as I should have was why she was afraid to fall asleep. I should have killed Sheena the moment she interfered by showing up on the island to confront Ciana. If I had, instead of just cutting off the O’Brion funds for her and Cori, none of this shit ever would have happened.

“What can I do to help you, mo chroí?” I asked helplessly.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth for a second before blowing out a heavy sigh. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you mind…holding me while I sleep?”

“A lot to ask?” I repeated. “Ciana, I would love nothing more than to hold you. I’ve ached to do so for so damn long.”

Her bottom lip pouted out. “Then why haven’t you?”

I cupped her beautiful face. “Because I didn’t want to push you. I’m trying to prove that you can trust me. And while I’m aware I’m doing a fuck-all job of it, I’m still trying.”

“Just an FYI, you suck at it,” she muttered grumpily.

My lips tilted up in a sad smile. “See, that’s why I need you so much, Ciana. You aren’t scared to tell me when I’ve fucked up. You can correct me, help me fix my mistakes, teach me how to do the right things where you and our girls are concerned.”

“I don’t know what’s more exhausting,” she said with a deep frown marring her brow. “Being pregnant with these babies of yours, or trying to figure you out.”

Taking her hand, I lifted it to my lips, kissing the finger with my ring on it. “There’s nothing for you to have to figure out when it comes to me. As long as you remember that I love you, everything else is inconsequential.”

“You’re so full of shit,” she said with a huff. “Please, will you hold me while I sleep?”

Standing, I kicked off my shoes and tossed everything out of my pockets before I crawled into bed behind her. Being careful not to disturb the IV in her arm, I settled her against my chest. The sweet scent of her hair filled my nose, and all the tension that had locked my muscles earlier slowly began to ease.

Ciana inhaled deeply and slowly released it, pillowing her head on my chest. I watched in fascination as her lashes lowered and a soft sigh escaped her perfect mouth.

“This doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at you, asshole,” she mumbled. “I’m just really tired, and I need you to sleep.”

“Be angry all you want, mo chroí,” I told her softly, pressing my lips to the top of her head. “I’m just thankful you need me for something.”