The Lies That Shatter by A.V. Asher

Chapter Thirty-Nine

It had been two days since he’d walked away from her, and Mercedes was still reeling from what he’d said.

Alec still openly flirted with her. At times, she’d catch his sizzling gaze and her face would flush. He wasn’t trying to hide how he felt.

But he also didn’t touch her. Other than a few brushes of fingertips when he’d hand her something, he’d kept his word. He was giving her space to work things out for herself, but it was hard to look at his perfect body and not hunger for him.

They fell into a routine. Alec would swim every morning and Mercedes would lounge in the sunlight peeking over her book, her eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Then he’d go to his room to work from his secure line.

The quiet that would fall over the house when he was gone gave her time to think. Too much time.

She was in a holding pattern, trapped with the one man she wanted to spend her life with, but was too scared to. And even after all he’d suffered, he loved her. He still hoped for another chance.

I want it all back. All of it. . . Tomorrow, I’m not going to pretend I don’t love you.

Mercedes loved him too, there was no doubt about that. When she looked at Alec she could see the future they were supposed to have, too. She craved it so much she ached.

All she had to do was ask.

But whenever she thought about giving in and letting herself fall, the heartbreak of losing him would slam into her, reminding her why she’d ended it.

That evening, they strolled along the beach. The sun was inches above the horizon, beginning its gentle descent into the water. Alec shoved his hands in his pockets, his thick hair tousled by the breeze. The lovely tan he was getting in the California sun was only adding a stunning warmth to his features.

Like most nights, they sat near each other on the sand and took in the beauty of the ocean waves. But tonight her mind was especially heavy. Her past was haunting her, and she didn’t know how to make it stop.

“Can I ask you something, Alec?”

“Of course.”

She didn’t look at him, staring straight out into the water. “Did my mother come to my funeral?”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him wince. “No, darling. She didn’t.”

Mercedes’s stomach knotted, and she inhaled deeply. “I didn’t think she had, but I wondered.”

“What made you think of her?”

Mercedes shrugged. “I’ve thought about her a lot lately.” The tips of her fingers delicately played out the waves of the ocean. “About her choices. The things she did.”

Alec was quiet, as if giving her time to gather her thoughts.

Mercedes’s mother had been eighteen when she fell for an older wealthy man, who happened to be married. When he found out his barely legal mistress was pregnant, he cast her aside without a penny.

“She made sure I knew every single day how much she despised me. Until I was old enough to take care of Charlie. Then she could go get wasted and bring home random men.”

“None of that was you. You didn’t make her a terrible person.”

“I know.” She was quiet for another minute. When she broke the silence again, it was with another question.

“Do you want children?” When Alec’s brows shot up, she added, “It’s not a loaded question, I swear. I want your honest answer.”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Most of my life, I didn’t think I’d find anyone I’d want to have children with. Now that I have, I’m perfectly content going either way.” He studied her face as if trying to read her thoughts. “If you had wanted them, I’d happily have obliged. If you didn’t, then I’d be the best damn Uncle Lick to my niece I could be.”

A smile broke across Mercedes’s face. “Uncle Lick?”

Alec smirked. “Aye. Isla’s a wee little shit.”

Mercedes giggled. “That’s adorable.”

“Aye, I think it’s going to stick.” Alec chuckled along with Mercedes. When their smiles faded, he gave her a sideways look. “What’s bringing all this on?”

Mercedes shrugged and bit her lip. She didn’t want to confess the mess that was swirling in her mind. But she’d asked Alec for honesty, she should be honest with him.

“Actually, it was something Kristin said to me.”

Alec exhaled sharply. “Shit, Sadie. I’m sorry for anything she might have said. She was jealous and looking for a way to hold on to what she thought we had.”

Mercedes gave a reassuring smile. “I know, Alec. I have thick skin and her intentions were clear. But there was one thing she said that stayed with me.” Mercedes bit her lip, ready to bare it all for him, just so he could understand why she was so afraid. “She said you loved children, and she was ready to give you the family I was too selfish to give you.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, the muscle of his jaw working overtime. “We never discussed having kids or anything of the sort. Hell, we hadn’t discussed much past the trial.”

Another rush of relief worked its way through her. She was so grateful he’d confessed he’d never shared a bed with Kristin. It was becoming clear, they were never as serious as she’d feared. Unchecked, her nightmares could have them planning their wedding and picking out baby names.

“The thing is, I always loved the idea of being a mother.” She looked down at her hands twisting against her knees. “But I’m terrified of ending up like mine. Bitter and resentful, hating the idea that my child came into my world and changed it.”

“Sadie, you’re nothing like your mother. And besides, you’ve already raised a child. I know for a fact you would move heaven and earth for her.” Mercedes turned to him in surprise. “Your mother certainly didn’t help Charlie become who she is today.”

Mercedes nodded. “I’m so proud of her.”

“I know you are.”

“I’m on the outskirts now, though. One of these days, I’ll get to be the fun auntie to little Mercedes Clare. I’ll always carry candy in my purse and teach her to play any instrument she wants.” The smile fled from her face. “But that little family is Charlie’s. I don’t have the same place in it.” Mercedes nodded and looked back to the water. “I guess I’ve just been thinking about family a lot. I don’t have much of one.”

“I’d be your family, if you’d let me.”

His words hit her directly in her heart and she exhaled sharply. Alec’s eyes were darkened by the waning sun, but there was a pleading in his expression. He meant every word.

After all the time they’d been apart, he’d wanted to make her his, to love her until she realized he belonged to her.

Her mouth snapped shut, and she looked to the crashing waves. Tears formed behind her eyes, and she bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

She cleared her throat. “We should go back. The light is nearly gone.”

Alec’s brow was furrowed but he got up and held out his hand to help her up. As they returned to the house, Mercedes’s mind was spiraling.

Her heart had been broken and mended so many times that only a thin tape held it together. With Alec’s words, she’d come undone. The shield she’d been using to keep him away was nearly gone, and she didn’t know what to do.

The warmth of the house contrasted with the cool night air. She shrugged her sweater off and hung it on the hook by the door.

The piano caught her attention, and she walked to it. For the first time in forever, the fine ivory and ebony keys called to her. She sat on the bench, her pulse quickening. Tentatively, she put her fingers on the keys, and played ‘Nuvole Bianche’. Its opening was slow and steady, easing her into playing again.

When the gentle song was over, Mercedes moved right into the next and before she knew it, she was lost in it. For the first time in a year, she could see herself, all that she was.

Alec sat on the bench next to her, his back to the piano. He leaned forward, elbows on knees, occasionally taking a sip from his glass of whisky.

When she’d finished the last song, she let the quiet fill the space between them.

“That was lovely. I was wondering when you might play. I was getting a little worried about it to be honest.”

Mercedes nodded, fighting back the tears again. “I just needed to sort out a few things.”

“Aye.” His tone was one of understanding, but she knew he was concerned about her.

The broken pieces of her belonged to him. Only he knew how to repair the damage that had devastated her. She had to let him in.

“Alec.” She didn’t have to look to know he’d turned toward her. “It scares me how much I love you.” It wasn’t much more than a whisper.

Alec’s breath caught, and he straightened up. His cobalt eyes studied her, pain and hope swimming in them. “Don’t be afraid, darling. My heart will always be yours.”

Jesus, this man.

Mercedes slipped her fingers around his neck, pulled him to her, and kissed him. Alec moaned softly, then wrapped his arm around her waist. His lips were soft and sensual, and the strokes of his tongue sent desire down her body, pooling in her core. His hand trailed up her back, searing her with fire. She needed his hands all over her body, his warm skin on hers.

Alec found her breast and Mercedes let out a soft whimper when his thumb slowly circled the tight nipple. Her body always knew how to respond to him.

He tilted his head and deepened their kiss. What had started out as a slow savoring was becoming desperate and sinful. The gravity that pulled them together had led them to a scorching fire that would consume them.

When he brought his mouth to her neck, she turned into him, moaning as he hit that spot that drove her insane. Her hunger for him had become painful, and she needed him to end it. She cupped his cheek and drew back to look into his eyes. Desire burned in the blue depths, and Mercedes wanted it all.

“Touch me,” she whispered.

Alec growled and jerked her knee toward him, parting her. Electricity coursed through her body as he slid his hands under her dress, caressing her sensitive skin.

Mercedes arched her back toward him, encouraging him to ease the ache burning between her thighs. When his fingers finally met the soaked lace, she whimpered, pressing herself into him. He massaged her core, the bliss of orgasm already so close.

With his free hand, he tugged on the strap of her summer dress until it slipped off her shoulder. The fabric pooled under the swell of her breast. He captured the tight bud in his mouth. Mercedes moaned, running her hands through his hair.

Alec’s mouth was unrelenting. “My god, you make me crazy,” he murmured.

He pushed the lace aside and found her slippery clit. Mercedes groaned as he circled it with his fingertips, setting every nerve on fire.

When he sank his fingers into her, she cried out. “Jesus, Alec.”

“Do you like that, Sadie? Is this what you needed?” His gruff murmur making her hotter.

“Oh, god, yes Alec. I need you.”

He worked her a deeper, and she whimpered. They were moving together now, his fingers slipping in and out of her, matching the arching of her back.

“I need to hear you, Sadie,” he moaned down her throat. “I need to hear you cry my name when you come.”

Mercedes gasped. Pleasure coiled through her, tumbling her into a desperation to finish. “I’m going to come. Please, don’t stop. Please, Alec, please.”

“I won’t stop, darling. Come for me,” Alec rasped in her ear. “Come for me, my love.”

The crest hit her, and she dug her fingers into his shoulders. Each convulsion slammed into her, making her shudder against him.

When the world returned to her, Alec was kissing her softly. Mercedes sighed, the tendrils of pleasure still coursing through her core. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him languidly.

When she broke away, Alec was watching her, his lips curled into a gentle smile.

“You are my everything,” he whispered.

Mercedes inhaled sharply, his words sparking an inferno deep within her.

All barriers that had come between them lifted. The lies, the heartbreak, the pain they’d both been through. None of it mattered anymore. Even if she walked away right now, he would still belong to her.

But she didn’t want to walk away. She had been in love with him for so long, and she was tired of letting him go. For once, she wanted to be what he deserved.

“Come to my bed,” she breathed.

A wariness crossed his eyes. “Just for tonight?”

Tears made her vision swim. She shook her head. “For forever.” The sob in her throat barely let the words out.

Alec’s grip tightened on her back. “Christ, do you mean it?”

Mercedes nodded. “I mean it. I love you, Alec. And tomorrow, I won’t pretend I don’t.”