Dungeon Daddy by Golden Angel

Chapter 7

Esther

The rest of the C&C game was a little awkward, or maybe it only felt that way. Maybe it was only her imagination everyone’s eyes were always on her.

By the time she and Jax got in the car to head home, she was jumpy and a little on edge. Not seeming to notice, Jax got the car started and reached over to put one hand on her thigh. Automatically, Esther reached for it, twining her fingers around his. Funny, she hadn’t really thought about it until now, but they always did this. It was one thing they had going for them. Despite everything else, Jax always wanted to hold her hand. She’d taken it for granted for a long time, but if he hadn’t done it, she would have noticed, and it would have hurt.

“So, what did you and the ladies talk about?” he asked, his voice casual. Too casual. So much for hoping he hadn’t noticed how their friends had reacted to her new look. Part of Esther wished she had dressed down for game night, but another part of her—a little vindictive part of her—thought it was nice that Jax was now the one worrying.

How many months had it felt like there was something going on with him she didn’t know about? Now the shoe was on the other foot, and it felt kinda good. Vindicating even.

How do you like it, Jax?

“Oh, not much. I think Cyana wanted to make sure I wasn’t having a midlife crisis or something.” It looked like Jax flinched, but she couldn’t really tell in the dark. Interesting. Was that what he thought?

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

Leaving him guessing didn’t hurt, though. Maybe that was part of why he’d lost interest in her. There had been no mystery left in their marriage. She’d made herself too available to him. Some men just like the chase. Granted, she’d never thought Jax was that kind of man—it wasn’t as if he’d changed after they got married—but maybe the years had worn on him.

“What did you and the guys talk about?” she asked before he could continue to question her. Besides, she really wanted to know.

Jax hesitated only a moment, as though he was thinking about how much he wanted to say. Uh-huh. He wondered why she didn’t feel like talking, but he surprised her.

“Gavin asked if we’d like to go see his therapist. Is that something you’d like to do?”

“Do you think we need to?” She was genuinely curious about his answer and also a little confused. Since she was the one still fully invested in the marriage, shouldn’t she be the one asking for counseling?

One shoulder lifted in a little shrug, his hand shifting slightly on her lap.

“Nah, I know we hit a bit of a rut for a while, but we’re getting better, right?”

“Right.” She agreed, she did, but something churned in her stomach.

They were getting better because she was pretending to be something she wasn’t. But… fake it till you make it. At least she knew it was working. So, why did she suddenly feel like crying?

Turning her head to look out the window at the passing landscape in the dark, Esther swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears that threatened.

* * *

Jax

Entering Michelle’s house, he felt extra guilty. He’d seen how disappointed Esther was when he’d said he had to work late tonight. Even the welcoming smiles from the group didn’t puncture his mood. He did his best, forcing a smile onto his lips, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how Esther would react to another late night.

As far as he knew, she was staying in tonight, but tomorrow, she was supposed to have a ladies’ night with Leah and Cyana. If she was feeling neglected, would she use that time to get the attention she felt he wasn’t giving her? Would Leah and Cyana encourage her to?

He felt torn. Esther was his first responsibility, but he felt like he owed this little group something, too. Watching them go from learning to loving the game, seeing how they grew, and being so close to the end, he just wanted to give them the best ending to their campaign he could without damaging his marriage. Was that so much to ask?

“Hey, Jax!” The chorused greeting was full of happiness to see him, but more than one lady gave him a quizzical look.

“Hello, everyone.” He sat down in his chair. Michelle and Katherine glanced at each other. Suzie’s brow furrowed.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Was Esther mad you had to come tonight?” Suzie’s voice was all concern, and another flash of guilt went through Jax. He was so tired of lying to everyone.

So, he admitted everything—that he had never told Esther the truth about what he was doing when he was with them… and why. From their expressions, it didn’t absolve him, and they all thought he was an idiot. He told them how things had snowballed, and lately, Esther had become upset with how much time he hadn’t been home.

And all about her new makeover.

He didn’t tell them she was no longer interested in kinky sex, but that was about the only thing he held back. It felt good to get everything off his chest, even if it changed their opinions of him.

“Oh, my God, Jax.” Suzie moaned, holding her face with both hands as though she was getting a headache. “Why are you so dumb?”

He bristled but knew she had a point.

“It was only supposed to be a couple of sessions. I didn’t know Laura would quit, and, well, when she did, I’d already lied once. I didn’t want to fess up because Esther would want to know why I’d lied initially, then it would seem like a bigger deal than it was.”

“And now it’s a huge fucking deal,” Katherine finished for him, shaking her head. The sympathy pouring from her was almost harder to bear than Suzie’s “you dumbass” attitude. Sympathy grated over him. It meant there was a reason to feel sorry for him, and there wasn’t yet. He could fix this.

“Okay, well, do you think we can finish the campaign tonight?” That was Annie, moving straight into fix-it mode, which Jax appreciated.

“Yes… probably.”

“Oh, we’re going to finish it,” Karen said grimly. It didn’t matter she was decades younger than Jax. When she gave him a hard look, he quailed inside. She was a miniature-Cyana was what she was. “No way will you keep coming over to help us play a game when your wife is hurting. Are you insane?”

Ouch. Brutal. But not undeserved.

Karen gave him another look. She’d make a good schoolteacher with that stern glare. “Though, you should tell her what you’ve been up to, anyway.”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” he muttered, then gave himself a shake. They weren’t wrong, but it was his decision not to tell Esther. Admit that he’d been lying to her for the past year? No. Her reaction would be so much worse than theirs had been, and now that he’d said it out loud, his explanation sounded so much less reasonable than it had in his head. Everything had gotten away from him, but that was alright. He could put it back together once this campaign was finished. “Okay then, let’s get going so we can end this. Last time, we ended when you found a safe room to hide away in for a rest in the dungeon…”

They could definitely finish the campaign tonight, though he might have to stay a little later than he usually did. Still, it would be worth it since he wouldn’t need to come back.

* * *

Esther

It was a very late work night, apparently.

Esther’s stomach twisted.

He’s not working. You know he’s not working. Why are you doing this to yourself?

If he wasn’t working, it meant that all her hard work wasn’t working…

Unless…

Maybe he was breaking up with the other woman tonight. Esther didn’t even want to think her name. It made her too real, and right now, she was too vulnerable.

Maybe he was breaking up with her because of Esther’s recent efforts, and that’s what was taking so long.

Or maybe she was trying to convince him not to break up with her, and that’s what was taking so long.

Sick uncertainty felt like a stomachache, so bad, she actually thought she might throw up.

Check his phone. See where he is. Maybe he really is at the University. Maybe it really is just a very late worknight.

Or maybe it wasn’t, and she was a sucker.

She’d never much liked the Schrodinger’s Cat story—she felt for the poor cat, even though she knew it wasn’t real, and she didn’t need to feel bad for it—but for the first time, she felt as if she really understood it. Until she checked, she could believe in the illusion that maybe he wasn’t cheating on her. That maybe everything she’d done hadn’t been in vain. What was she going to do if she checked, and he was at that woman’s house again?

I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know.

Tears burned her eyes, and she blinked hard, realizing how clenched her jaw was. She made herself relax, opening her mouth and bending her head toward her shoulders, back and forth, trying to loosen her muscles.

“Hey, Mom, I’m going to bed. Is Dad still out?” Daniel wandered through the living room, a piece of beef jerky hanging from his mouth. Jennifer had already disappeared into her room and likely wouldn’t be back out again if she was still up.

“Yeah. He had to work late.”

“Big surprise.” Daniel scowled. “He works too much.” His voice cracked, which made him scowl even harder. It hadn’t done that in a while, which showed he was more emotional than he was pretending to be. “Night, Mom.”

“Night, honey.” Esther stared after her not-so-little boy. At fourteen, he’d become a lot less expressive, so it meant he was willing to say something about Jax not being home. This was affecting her children, too. She looked at her clock. Daniel rarely went to bed before eleven… yup. Eleven thirty-two, exactly. The latest Jax had ever been.

She had to check. Schrodinger be damned—she had to know.

When she pulled up the tracker for his phone, it was moving—and showed him nearly to their neighborhood. He was finally on his way home… at almost midnight.

She had no way of knowing where he’d been.

Unprepared to face him, she jumped up and turned off the lights, heading quickly upstairs. She could skip brushing her teeth for one night if it meant avoiding an awkward conversation. Huddling in bed, she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep.

It didn’t work, but it meant Jax thought she was asleep when he made his way upstairs. His lips brushed softly over her temple before he headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

That simple gesture of affection made her feel like crying even harder.