My Ten-Year Crush by Olivia Spring

Chapter Sixteen

Iflopped onto the bed. I hadn’t even bothered to switch on the light. My eyes stung and my head felt like it had been hit with a brick. I was done with studying for the night. I’d been working non-stop for a week, and although I was still enjoying the challenge, it was taking its toll.

After my walk with Mike last Wednesday, I’d practically skipped all the way home. I was on a high. Thinking of the moments we’d shared and excited about what might be brewing between us. I still wasn’t completely sure that he wasn’t just friendly flirting rather than romantic flirting, but I sensed a vibe.

What if…?had quickly been replaced with maybe as my brain considered the possibility that Mike might be interested and churned out different ways we could make things work. Maybe him being my teacher wouldn’t make things complicated. After all, there were only a few weeks left of the course.

I’d got so caught up in my fantasies that I hadn’t started work until after ten-thirty, which meant I was still up after 2 a.m. trying to get everything done. Of course I was like a zombie on the way to class. At that point, I reckoned the majority of the liquid in my body was probably coffee.

I decided I couldn’t have any more nights out for a while. As much as I loved being with Mike, there could be no more walks or drinks. Not forever, of course. I just needed to knuckle down properly for at least a week. Find my bearings. Then once I was in a good place and got myself organised, I could be a bit more social again.

So that was what I did. Last Thursday and every weekday evening since, I’d come straight home after the lessons. I worked solidly at the weekend too, even postponing my catch-up with Cassie. As intense as it was, I was still loving the course, but now, seven days later, I was shattered. I’d gone too far the other way.

I’d always said to Sophia that she worked too much and needed to take breaks, so it was time I took my own advice. I’d message Cassie later to see if she was free this Sunday and rather than spend tomorrow evening doing stuff for the course, I’d take the night off and see if Mike was free to help me tackle my CV.

I’d like to say that not hanging out with him in the evenings had helped me to control my feelings, but it hadn’t. I still thought of him as soon as I woke up. I still got the tingles when I watched him at the front of the class and when he walked by my desk and I could smell his gorgeous woody scent. And I still dreamt about him at night.

But it could be a lot worse. If I’d continued meeting him every evening, by now I’d be a complete wreck. Keeping some distance was the better option. As long as I didn’t see him too often outside of class, it should be manageable.

I closed my eyes to rest them for a few minutes, then remembered I’d wanted to check on Melody. I switched on the bedside lamp, reached for my phone and dialled her number.

‘Hi, Bella,’ she answered. Her voice was low and lifeless.

‘How are things?’

‘Pretty shit to be honest,’ she sighed. ‘I think I’m gonna lose my job. They need me to work longer hours, but what they pay me isn’t enough to cover Andrea going to nursery full-time and it’s another year before she goes to school. I can’t seem to find another part-time job anywhere. I’ve tried the supermarkets, even the corner shop down the road, but there’s nothing. I don’t know what to do.’

Melody had been having a tough time for a while now. She was stuck in a run-down house in Coventry with her daughter Andrea, working part-time in an office trying to make ends meet.

‘And Rodney is still no help?’

‘Pff. That wanker is about as helpful as a chocolate teapot. His mum used to help out now and then, but after I was a bit late picking Andrea up that Saturday afternoon after the reunion, she’s gone cold and stopped answering my calls.’

Rodney was her loser ex and Andrea’s so-called dad. Melody never used that word, though. She usually referred to him as the sperm donor, dickhead or a myriad of other derogatory terms. Each one was well deserved.

After spending a few wild weekends with him, Melody had fallen pregnant, and although he was initially shocked, Rodney had said she could move to Coventry, which was where he was from. They’d had their ups and downs living together during the pregnancy, but a few months after Andrea was born it had gone downhill, fast.

One afternoon Melody had come home to find all of Rodney’s stuff was gone. All he’d left was a note saying: ‘Sorry. Can’t do this.’

Melody had obviously been distraught and tried calling him repeatedly, but he’d ignored her for days. In the end she’d had to resort to going to his workplace to get answers.

He’d taken her to one side. ‘The baby cries a lot,’ he’d said. Duh. That was what babies did. He’d told Melody it was too much. He wasn’t ready for the responsibility and had never wanted a baby in the first place. Being with her was just supposed to be ‘a bit of fun’. What a loser.

‘Every time I ask for help, he says he’s a bit short. He’s got money for fags and booze, but none to keep his child clothed and fed. Well, not Andrea anyway. I’m sure he takes much better care of his son. Arsehole.’

To add insult to injury, just a few months after he’d left her, Melody had found out that Rodney had got another woman pregnant. When his son was born he’d moved in with them. He was still there, playing happy families whilst Melody had to move to a horrible place and do a job she hated just to pay the bills.

‘Oh, hon, I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to help. I wish you were in London—then I could babysit or help you look for work or something.’

‘I wish I could move back, but it would be even worse there. Everything’s even more expensive down south. I’d never be able to afford the rent or childcare. Don’t worry, B. I’ll sort something out.’

Knowing your friend was struggling and not being able to do anything was the worst. Melody didn’t have any family or any form of support network in Coventry and she’d fallen out with her family long ago. All she had was me and a few other friends from our uni days.

‘Well, just tell me if you need anything? Help with the rent or supermarket vouchers. Anything. Don’t ever feel like you can’t ask. Okay?’ I wasn’t flush with cash, especially after shelling out for the course, but I had some savings I’d put aside for a rainy day that I could dip into.

‘Okay,’ she said. I could tell she was crying but didn’t want me to know, and it broke my heart. ‘How did it come to this, B? How did I go from being at uni, getting my degree and having the whole world at my feet to being a single parent, living in a shithole dump of a house in Coventry, and doing a job a teenager could do, with no life and no money? I wish I’d never met bloody Rodney.’

‘But then you wouldn’t have Andrea.’

‘That’s true. I don’t know what I’d do without my little munchkin. She drives me up the wall sometimes, but I love her more than melted butter on warm toast.’

‘Wow. That’s big. I know how much you love your toast.’

‘That I do, luv. Bread is the best. I don’t know how people go without it. That’s why I was never good at dieting. I can’t live without a tasty loaf. Especially with a nice bit of jam—ooh, or some melted cheese. Now my stomach’s rumbling!’

‘I’ll let you go and eat, then.’

‘Oh, no, you don’t! Not until you fill me in on how it’s going with our mate Mike, or should I say your sexy teacher! Have you shagged him yet? Has he had you up against the filing cabinets or spread you over the desk? Come on, Bella-boo. You asked if there was anything you could do for me, and now you can. I’ve had a crappy day, so I need cheering up. Tell me some sexy stories…’

I wished I could have answered yes to Mike having his wicked way with me, but the only place that was happening was in my dreams, which were becoming more and more explicit every night.

If only there was a way to make those dreams become a reality.