The Bear’s Nanny by Erin Havoc
15
ASTRID
THIS MAN IS going to drive me crazy. From the moment we met, there was a current arcing between us, calling me, pulling me closer.
He tells me I’m his mate. I would say he’s mad, coming up with excuses just to fuck me. Would I mind that? Not all that much, not when I’ve never dated someone like Kieran. A man this... Big and hot and gentle all at the same time. I’d still be sad he lied to me, but if I get one good orgasm out of it, it would still be better than my married life to Pete.
I feel so stupid now. How could I live so long with someone who cared so little about me? Not even his son cared. Bad colleagues and so-called friends circled me, all because I wanted to find a home. But how could I find a home when I never went looking for it? All this time, I just grasped at the first chance life sent my way. And Pete did not deserve me. Not even for a heartbeat.
My hands run through Kieran’s long hair, the darkness of his strands shocking against the paleness of my skin. He’s handsome, with his sharp jaw and fierce eyes, and he’s mine. He’s all mine. How did I get so lucky?
I kiss him with everything I’ve got. Our tongues clash, he sucks on my lower lip, and I grunt softly against his intensity. Kieran doesn’t hide how he feels about the entire thing. There’s a hard length beneath my bottom, and I circle my hips, parched for more of it. I have never had a dick this big either. Not that I’m vain, but... I wouldn’t mind the experience.
A part of my mind tells me I should take some time off to digest this entire thing. The man making me breathless, his rough hands on my skin, is part bear, after all. Shifters and supernatural entities galore exist cooped away from the world, here in Shadow Falls.
Should I be scared? I’m not quite sure. Not when everyone has been so nice to me. Not when I have Kieran by my side. The certainty of his affection is like the Sun—warm and sure, always present. Whatever happens, he won’t let anyone harm me. Even if I had to leave. Which would suck because I came to like this place quite a lot.
There’s so much I don’t know. So much that’s been hidden from me. Kieran said there are bears and wolves and many other shifters. There are witches (I always felt Sabrina was a bit too odd) and a resident vampire. It could sound like a very intricate joke if it hadn’t happened in front of me.
Yes, I need time to digest it all. To let it sink in. But I also can’t take a moment parted from him. Not anymore. Not when he wants me too.
I bite down on his lip, and a growl reverberates through his chest to mine. My fingers combing through his hair, I move against his shaft, adoring the idea he wants me. It’s such a boost to my self-esteem that a man like him desires me.
His hand hovers down my body, gripping my waist, digging into my full hips, and down my thighs. The thick thighs I’ve always dreaded now become his adoration as he kneads and touches and grasps, a grunt in the back of his throat.
Kieran’s fingers slowly run down my leg to grip my knee. There, he slides his hand between my legs and runs his fingers up my thighs. I shiver, my nipples peaking against my shirt. A moan escapes me as he slowly explores the inside of my thigh. My panties soak through, my long dry spell catching up to me.
The knot in my throat is difficult to swallow, but I try anyway. My heart skitters in my chest so hard I’m sure Kieran hears it. I break the kiss because I can’t focus on two things. Not when one of them is his fingers inching up closer and closer to my heat. I breathe hard against his mouth, keeping him close with a hand on the back of his neck. Kieran’s entire body is tense, his muscles hard to the touch. His parted mouth blows warm air against my lips, and I taste him on my tongue.
Is this for real? Does he really want me? I frown, parting my knees and letting his fingers brush along the seam of my pants. A major shiver races through me with the jolt of his touch. Warmth blooms low in me, and I gasp, pleasure making me dizzy. And he’s just touched me once.
I’m still shaking when his hand leaves me too early. We exchange no words as his arm folds beneath my legs, and he scoops me up; I lock my wrists behind his neck, our foreheads bumping gently as Kieran strides off. My vision is foggy with lust, and it takes a moment to understand what’s going on. A long moment. It dawns on me when my back hits the mattress.
Okay, this is real. Very real.
His body finds its place between my legs. Kieran kisses me like there’s no tomorrow. Like this is the first and the last kiss we’ll ever share. He devours my lips to the point of bruising, his hands scraping across my body, up my hips to my breasts.
“Kieran,” I breathe out, but I say no more. My voice trembles and breaks, my skin covered in goosebumps as I wait for his next touch. I need it as I need my next mouthful of air. How the hell did I live so long without him?
There’s a frown on his face as if he’s holding back when he licks my lips. His fingers curl around my breasts, and he grunts, deep, deep in his chest again. He bares his teeth for a moment and slams his eyes shut.
“Yes, mate?” He says, and I pretty much melt. I melt and catch fire at the same time.
“Are you hurting?” I ask him in a tiny voice, watching his face twisting.
He releases a chuckle and opens his eyes to stare at me. The way his pupils flare pin me into place. “It’s hard to hold back. So fucking hard not to just take you.”
I swallow. Fuck, I want him to touch me and explore me. I want him to suck me until I come apart, and I’m dying to have his seed in my mouth. I stare into his eyes, my face flaring with self-awareness. “What are you waiting for?”
He growls again, and I’m loving this shit, this primal, animalistic side of him. “Don’t say that, mate. Don’t tease me.”
I pull him closer, my cheeks hot. My legs part for him, and his hardness pokes against my core. My hips shift, and I rub myself against his thick length. We moan together this time, and my eyes flutter shut in anticipation. So good. This is so good. It also triggers Kieran.
In the space of a heartbeat, his hand grabs my wrists together and pins them over my head. I gasp, widening my eyes. There’s a smirk on his face that makes me all the wetter. He shoves my shirt up over my breasts and finds my nipple. I’m sure it’s meant to be a warning with how hard he twists it, but I arch my back and moan. Pleasure shooting across my body and pooling between my legs as his rough palm races across my skin. Kieran pulls my bra out of the way and pinches my nipple again. It’s not gentle. It’s not first-time-kind. He works my body like he knows it. Like we’re meant to be like this.
Because we are.
I never knew I wanted it rough, but I do. More moans escape me as I thrust my pelvis off the bed and rub my pussy against his cock. He moves his hips in time, grinding against me, pressing against the neediest part of my body. The pulsing bundle of nerves that is my clit is the center of my attention. My entire body is very aware of his above me, of how much stronger than me he is, and how he could do anything to me. And I love that idea.
“Fuck me,” I murmur, my lips trembling with anxiety. “Fuck me already.”
Kieran makes quick work of my clothes. It’s not romantic. He doesn’t kiss his way down the rolls of my stomach before he pulls my pants off. Every jerk of his arms is barely contained, tense. My mouth drops open when he sits on his haunches and pulls off his shirt.
He parts my thighs for his viewing pleasure, my pussy bare, and I can almost see his bear through his hungry expression. Kieran licks his lips like he’s about to have the best meal of his life, but I press my foot to his chest and meet his eyes.
I’m so pent up; there’s only one thing on my mind. My eyes go for the bulge in his pants. “I don’t want foreplay,” I tell him. “We can do it later.”
Kieran jumps off the bed in an instant. He’s so quick on his feet it’s hard to tell he’s over fifty. “You sure?” He asks in a hoarse voice that I almost can’t recognize. Though he asks this, he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring free.
And, sweet mama, his cock. It’s huge. And I say huge. I can’t quite believe I’ll be able to handle the thickness of it, not when I’ve never had someone his size, but I’m definitely going to try. The purple head swells as his entire length pulses and twitches, the gleam of a drop of pre-cum catching the light. It’s beautiful, really. Meaty and mouth-watering.
I lick my lips, eager to take him over my tongue. I guess Kieran is living through the same thing because he crawls between my legs again. “You sure you want to skip all the good parts?” He asks with a half-smile on his face.
I chuckle. “You kidding? We’re just going straight to the best one.”
His smile disappears. “You’re completely right.”
There’s a sort of desperate anxiety in his mouth when it closes over mine this time. We kiss until I’m breathless, and his thick cockhead fits against my entrance, parting my folds. I gasp, holding myself to him, preparing for the onslaught of pleasure.
But Kieran tenses and halts. He pulls back. “Fuck,” he roars, meeting my eyes. “I don’t have a condom.”
I frown, desperately wanting to slap him. “Condom?” I hiss. “Fuck that, just pull out.”
That’s one-hundred percent irresponsible of me, even more so because I’m not on the pill (why would I be when my ex didn’t fuck me, right?). But I’m so out of my mind with lust, my wetness running down the inside of my thighs, I can’t think straight.
The crease between Kieran’s brows is so deep I’m sure it’ll leave a mark. “I don’t think I can.” He’s so breathless I just want to pull him in and feel him inside me. “My bear’s already demanding I mark you. I won’t be able to hold him off if we go bareback.”
My mouth opens and shuts twice. “What’s the problem then? Mark me.”
He roars, louder than before, and shuts his eyes. “That’s not how it works, mate.”
“Why not?” Fucking hell, I need to have this man, or I’ll die. My hands run down the taut muscles of his back to his ass, and I try to make him enter me. “Just mark me.”
Kieran holds his place and, no matter how hard I try, he doesn’t move an inch. “In the name of the Bear God, woman, you have no idea what you’re asking.”
“Then tell me. And be quick.” My pussy pulses with need, my entire body crying out for him. I don’t want shifter history right now, but it doesn’t seem like there’s a way around it.
Kieran shakes his head fiercely. “I haven’t met anyone who has marked a human. You might die.”
All right. That’s succinct enough. I’m still breathless as hell, feeling him up without a second thought. “Okay… A condom then.”
“Yeah.”
I look away, my body trembling for him. “There’s one in my purse.” There are loads of condoms in my purse, really, because when I ran away, I thought I’d have the time of my life fucking strangers. Turns out I’m not that brave.
Cold kisses my skin as Kieran leaves, but he’s back within moments. I had never noticed how his movements are so quick. Maybe he kept that from me so I wouldn’t think he wasn’t human. As if I’d ever think that.
He sheaths himself and covers me again. This time he doesn’t stop when his lips meet mine, his hand in my hair, and his hips buck once. The sheer thickness of him makes me gasp, but he takes it slow. Inch by delicious inch, he enters me. I’m so wet it’s not that hard of a job. Halfway through, he hooks an arm around my leg, and his fingers find my clit.
To say something explodes inside me is the understatement of the century. Fireworks? Nope. It’s more like an atomic bomb. The explosion makes me scream my head off, too surprised to hold back, and the aftershock races down my spine, setting my body on fire.
Every other orgasm in my life pales in comparison.
Kieran rubs my clit as he enters me, spreading me, filling me to the brim. It’s so ridiculously good I’m gasping, out of air, all over again. It’s like I’ll never have enough oxygen inside me when I’m with him.
“Fucking hell,” he grunts against my mouth and kisses his way to my ear. “You’re so fucking hot, mate. Keep coming for me.”
My body obeys; I don’t know if it’s because we’re mates or because I’m all wound up, but I come all over again. My pussy clamps around his cock, sucking him in. Kieran pulls back, his fiery eyes meeting mine. His fingers grip my hips, and he pulls me up to his lap like I weigh nothing. I fling my arms around his neck, and worry crosses me. I can’t bounce on his lap like this. My lungs don’t have enough air for more exercise.
But Kieran cuts these thoughts halfway through. His hands grip my hips tightly, so tightly I know I’ll be covered in purple marks come morning. He moves me up and down his shaft, first slowly, then picking up his speed.
I moan, throwing my head back as he hits me even deeper. Pain is an afterthought, pleasure popping in the back of my lids in the form of white lights. My breasts bounce, and Kieran cranes his neck to capture a nipple between his lips. He sucks, and I come undone all over again.
He has power over me. But when I rake my nails down his neck and grip his hair, I know I have the same power over him. We’re a team, made for one another, made to balance one another.
I circle my hips, our eyes locked. His cock twitches and pulses, and he licks his lips as he watches me bounce. I’ve never felt so powerful, so beautiful.
“I’m in love with you,” I blurt out.
His eyes shift. He clashes our lips together as his member grows and spurts his load into the condom. Kieran still moves me until his hard cock makes me come again, hitting a spot inside me that makes me gush.
He holds me close, even when my body has melted into his. Even when I’m not strong enough to hold myself up. Kieran breathes into my neck and kisses me there, up and down my pulse, along my collarbones, to the point I’m sure there’s not an inch of skin left unexplored.
Carefully, he puts me down. My mouth parted, I catch my breath, as he pulls out of me. A shiver races across my skin, and it’s weird to not have his body against mine.
Kieran cleans me up with a wet towel as I doze off. I wake up to feel his touch on my face. He kisses my cheeks and covers me with a sheet. I fall asleep again and wake up to see him lulling Owen to sleep. My heart doubles its size. I want this. For once in my life, I feel like I’ve found a home, and I can’t wait to live through all of it with him.
Kieran joins me in bed sometime later. His lips graze my temple. “Go to sleep, mate,” he whispers, his arm folding across my waist. “I love you.”
I find a spot on his shoulder to lie on, knowing this will be my spot. Love fills me to the brim, and I sigh against his neck.
Home. He’s my home.