The Bear’s Nanny by Erin Havoc
EPILOGUE
ASTRID
One Year Later
MY STOMACH ROILS like crazy. I’m not kidding; if I get out of this without an ulcer, I’ll count myself lucky. I have never, ever been this anxious in my life. My feet take me up and down, left and right across the living room. Once I’m tired of walking over the same space, I leave the already opened door and do the same on the clearing.
I’ve been living in Shadow Falls for a year, in what they call a Temporary Leave. After my lawyer closed my divorce, all I had to do was rent a place and buy house stuff. I gave Sabrina her car back, and Kieran drove me around before I got my ride back.
Did I want him to ask me to move in? Yes. Right off the bat. At the same time, I wasn’t sure I was ready to jump into another serious relationship so quickly.
Six months later, he not only asked me but convinced me of packing my stuff and moving into his place. It would make our lives easier, though it’s weird to care for Owen like he was part of my family and be paid for it.
Now, my Temporary Leave is up. One year passed in the blink of an eye. I’ve grown so fond of this place; I can’t bear the idea of leaving it. Shadow Falls is more home than any other place I’ve lived in. The weather is perfect; even when it gets so cold I think my toes will fall off. The people are friendlier than I ever thought possible, and I’m pretty sure I can name them all by now. Old men greet me in the streets and housewives offer me fresh-baked cookies, and kids wave at me when I pass. This place is magical in more ways than one.
It’s also, like, literally magical. Sometimes I almost forget it. As the days move on, you don’t really see any bears running into the woods, and Sabrina’s so subtle about her powers you never notice them. But full moons are spectacular. There’s something about the way it shines down here that reminds me this land is not ordinary. It’s a holy haven for people like Kieran. For people that would be hunted if this place didn’t exist.
Because of that, I understand completely why they have to be so rigid. Not only does Kieran’s clan have its rules, but the city has a Council that cares for the safety of everyone. Technically, Kieran’s bear brothers care only for their lands. The Council cares for everybody’s lives.
And I’m a risk to them.
Shadow Falls allowed me in so I could find Kieran. I can also leave at any given time, and I could tell the world about them if I so desired. They can’t risk it.
I stomp on the gravel, the crunching sound muted beneath the beating of my heart. My fingers twisting between themselves, I turn and take the path back across the front of the house. It’s all right, I tell myself, but I’m also not sure.
Kieran left hours ago. Or at least that’s what it feels like. I don’t know where the Council’s supposed to meet, but it has to be near the city, right? Why are they taking so long? Are they going to punish Kieran for having a human mate? It’s not his fault. And it’s not our fault we are so attracted to one another, we can’t help it.
“I beg of you, Astrid. Stop.”
I whirl around to face Asher. He’s sitting on the steps in front of the porch, Owen standing in front of him, their hands joined. I don’t know what they’re playing, but I’m still surprised any of the other guys play with Owen. Take it from me, a group of fifty-year-old men, all single, living by themselves; you kind of don’t expect they’ll enjoy children. Turns out they do.
“Stop what?” I breathe out, my chest tight.
Asher rolls his eyes, his lips tilted. “Your march, clearly. You’re creating a moat in front of our place.”
Our place. I swallow thickly, thinking this is not yet the place I’m allowed to live. Though that’s the plan, we don’t have permission just yet. I’m here, but only temporarily. It might end today.
I go back to pacing. “Why are they taking so long?” I think out loud.
Asher grunts. “The Council Meeting spot is far. Besides, after everything that happened, I guess they have a lot to update Julian on.”
“Who’s Julian?” That’s a name I’m not familiar with. Weird. I thought I knew everyone in town.
“He’s one of the Council members. Leader of the dragons.”
I halt. Surely I misheard him. “Leader of the what?”
“Dragons.”
I turn to watch his face; Asher isn’t the joking type. My eyes narrow. “Dragons.”
He looks up and cocks his brow. “You’re not yet fifty; maybe you should get your ears checked.”
I roll my eyes. “Honestly, Asher. I’m not sure if you’re messing with me or not.”
“You don’t believe in dragons?”
“Should I?”
“You live with a man who can change into a bear. Your closest friend flies to the Council Meetings on a broom. Why are dragons so far off?”
Does Sabrina fly to the Meetings on a broom? That has to be a joke. I won’t even ask. “Bears and wolves are... Down to earth, I guess. They’re real animals. I didn’t even know dragons existed.”
He taps his forefinger to his chin. Owen makes to lose his balance as he plays with Asher’s pants’ hem, but Asher’s hands keep him steady. “I suppose they went extinct years ago. Just the shifters survived.”
“So, this Julian can change into an actual dragon? A fire-breathing, flying dragon?”
He nods and shrugs so casually it irritates me. “Yeah. I guess it’s harder to see from here because of all the trees but from downtown; you can see them flying around here and there.”
I blink, taking so long to digest the information I almost forget what started the subject. “So, they’re updating this Julian. Does it really have to take forever?”
His head turns, and he stares into the woods to the left. “It didn’t take that long.”
I snap my head to the beaten path that works as a road, but I see nothing. No sound comes for several beats of my anxious heart until I finally catch the engine of a car. I cry out in relief, twining my fingers and gripping them together as I watch the entrance. Hoping, praying, I’ll see Kieran in Wyatt’s passenger seat.
A tiny part of me fears this Council might have wanted to hurt him. But there he is, and the moment Wyatt parks, I know everything went smoothly. Kieran’s face is bright and open. A smile stretches his lips as he locks eyes with me. I press my hand to my stomach, almost nauseated with relief.
“May the Bear God bless,” Asher cries out as the two jump out of the car. “Astrid was two paces from a heart attack.”
Kieran doesn’t even glance at Asher as he approaches me. I raise my arms to hug him, pressing my face to his chest. The solidity of him is grounding. His smell of earth and pines is a powerful reminder he’s part of this land and has to obey its laws.
“How did it go?” I breathe against him.
He presses his palm to the back of my head, but his body is tense in all the right places. His biceps bulge and the hardness in his pants makes me forget for a moment we’re standing in the middle of the clearing, with eyes upon us.
“I’ll keep an eye on Owen,” Wyatt says from behind us. There’s amusement in his voice, and he’s not concealing it. “Just get out of my face.”
Without a moment’s thought, Kieran bends and picks me up in a bridal carry. I gasp in surprise, and in two strides, we’re inside the house. The door closes with a thud, and Kieran only puts me down once we reach the bed.
I look up into his eyes, seeing awe and haste in his. “How did it go?” I repeat with more urgency.
He cranes his neck and kisses me. His lips sear into my flesh, and he opens my mouth to deepen our exchange. As with every other kiss, this one marks me. It spoils me rotten. He explores me thoroughly, and he adores me with such deep affection my heart grows, and my body molds to his.
Kieran’s hands find my hair, my arms, my hips. He brushes them up and down, digs them into my flesh, and then his teeth are nibbling on my ear, and I’m moaning and moaning. Once my ear’s slick with saliva, he pulls back and breathes into it. Goosebumps rise all over my flesh, my nipples peaking against my shirt. “They allowed it,” he says against my flesh.
I moan in response. “Good...” The words take a moment to settle in, and once they do, I push him off. “Wait, what? They allowed it?”
Kieran smiles. “They did. Sabrina was in from the get-go. Ezra thinks it’s better if you’re under supervision since you know about us. So, it was only a question of convincing Julian.”
Ezra. I’ve met an Ezra. He has some land on the other side of town, and he often comes to the bar with a bunch of noisy men who make me laugh with their boisterous antics. Sabrina always rolls her eyes as if she detests them, but she never tells them off. I guess he’s a shifter too, and a leader at that. I make a mental note to ask about it later.
“So, does that mean?...”
Kieran’s face turns solemn. He nods once as he sits back on his haunches. “You remember everything I told you?”
I do. Of course I do. I thought it over and over through the last months. Kieran has given me all the chances to pull back, to think it over, to give up. I want to stay. And not only do I want to stay in Shadow Falls, but I want to stay here with him.
Kieran means the world to me. He’s a goodness I thought had gone extinct. He’s faithful to a fault, loyal to his friends, his alpha, and his family. Responsibility and duty are major parts of his personality. He has this rough exterior, but he’s so sweet on the inside it melts me.
I love him so much, I know parting from him would break me. It would end me. But his hands on me tell me of a different tale. They tell me I can stay, and not only that. They tell me I can finally become his.
Kieran explained several times how this goes. He prepared me the best he could. The entire thing was educational, to be honest, even when Kieran himself wasn't very sure how things work.
One thing he knows for sure is that one year knowing me without mating me has been a nightmare. We’ve joked about it, but I know it’s been hard for him. Since I’m human, I don’t know what it’s like, but his clan brothers look at him with pity, and Kieran has to go out to take his bear for a run every night. For hours.
It’s exquisite torture, he told me once. He adores having me close, and he’s grateful we’ve found each other.
But being human is a huge downside, and he’s afraid of what might happen. First, he told me several times the mating bond, once settled, can’t be broken. I can leave if I want to, but Kieran will be doomed for life. There’s only one mate and no second shots. Which is the reason they’re so faithful, and I’m so into that.
Kieran has also warned me the mating bond requires a physical mark. A bite on the shoulder or neck. If it goes well, I’ll be scarred for life. If it goes wrong, I’ll be dead.
Simple choices, right?
Shifters have the strength of the body and the call of the mating bond. They usually get together faster. Since I’m a human, Kieran’s given me enough time to mull this over. And I’m done with it. I want it. Even if it kills me, I want to take this shot. If it means being his, I will do anything.
“I remember,” I tell him. “I remember it all.”
Kieran brushes his fingers over my lips, and his eyes study me for long moments. “And you still want it?”
This is it. This is the moment. I nod.
He leans closer, his lips touching mine. “Say it.”
“I want it.”
He roars. It starts deep in his chest, and I know it’s his bear. Kieran shifts and his immense body comes over mine.
The kisses are pure flame. He devours me, and this time, he doesn’t hold back. His hands fumble with my clothes until I’m naked and sprawled beneath him. I’m quick to balance things out, ripping his shirt over his head and tugging his pants down. The thick length of his cock springs free, pre-cum glistening on the slit. I part my legs for him, our eyes locked as our bodies meet and fall into place like puzzle pieces.
I hug Kieran close as he enters me. It’s seamless. My pussy takes him in, and he spreads me until I gasp his name. His fingers twist my nipples and rub my clit, and he kisses my neck, along my jaw, and around my ear. Wetness runs from inside me to pool onto the covers. I moan, leaning back into the bed, my nails scratching down his back. Kieran’s long hair covers us like a curtain, keeping us from the world.
He opens his mouth and closes it around my neck, testing. I tense with expectation, but his hips move, and I can’t think of it a moment longer. His hardness pumps into me, drawing pleasure from each of my cells. I moan and arch my back into him, savoring his motions. Kieran’s teeth grow sharp. He rakes them along my collarbones. I shiver and clamp my pussy around him. The pulsing pressure of an orgasm grows, and I’m about to come apart.
I climb that wave, circling my hips against his, moaning his name.
Kieran seems to find the place he’s looking for. With a grunt, he sinks his teeth into me. My entire body tenses up with the pain. The pleasure doesn’t dull it. Oh no, it’s sharp and blinding, and I cry out. My nails dig into his flesh as I slam my eyes shut. I grind my teeth together, but a scream of pain still claws up my throat.
Kieran makes to pull back. With whatever strength left in me, I keep him close, his cock pulsing inside me, his teeth on my shoulder. Blood runs down my skin, and I fight to get air into my lungs.
Through the haze, his bear rumbles in his chest. His hands tighten around me, and his cock engorges. Then it’s not so bad. The pain is a pulsing, living thing, but it’s not the only feeling anymore.
I race my fingers through his hair and move against his cock. Kieran pulls back and laps at my wounds sweetly. When our eyes lock again, I see the blood in the corners of his lips and an apology in his eyes.
He’s afraid of killing me. But I’ve never felt so strong.
I lock my legs around his hips and flip us. Kieran’s back hits the mattress, his eyes widening as his hair fans across the pillow. I straddle him, hands on his chest, and then I ride the hell out of his fat cock.
“Astrid,” he starts, but I cut him off with a hand to his mouth.
“Let me finish,” I ask him, bouncing on his lap, his thickness sliding in and out. Every inch of his amazing length ignites me. Sets me aflame. I flutter my eyes shut, ignore the throbbing pain in my shoulder and the trickle of blood, and I make love to my mate. Kieran holds me around the hips, and his skin is warmer than ever.
We climb orgasm after orgasm together. It’s earth-shattering. I can’t help the screams of pleasure, and Kieran doesn’t seem to mind. His eyes are wide in adoration, and he growls and roars, fighting with his bear. His hands are possessive, and his kisses taste like blood. My blood.
My heart soars; I love him. I love him so much. And I don’t need to say a word. He can read that in my eyes.
The moment we’re done, and I shiver on top of him, Kieran sits up and puts me on the bed. He’s quick to find a first-aid kit and patch up my shoulder. I’m still breathing hard when he helps me into my clothes and out of the house.
It could be more romantic, but I spend the next hours in the ER. He apologizes several times, but I brush him off. I lived. And the moment we’re back home, Owen in his crib and my head on Kieran’s shoulder, my mate proposes. It’s something I told him I would like. To be his both in the shifter world and in the human world.
I hug him closer, and I feel his bear just under his skin, beneath my fingers. But there’s a satisfying rumble to him for the first time in forever. And I fear nothing. My entire life is finally on track, and all because of him.
Because we are joined. We are one.