The Bear’s Nanny by Erin Havoc

04

KIERAN

MY SHOULDER CRIES almost as loud as Owen. And the kid’s got a powerful throat, so you can imagine how bright the pain in me pulses. Owen’s locked in my arm as I try, for naught, to keep him calm. My heart hurts with my sister’s loss and how much I miss her even though we lived so far apart.

Ever since she found her match and moved away to be in his clan, our meetings diminished. I didn’t quite like the idea of her going somewhere I couldn’t monitor her, but her mate was the alpha, so she would be protected, right?

Wrong. I was so wrong.

Not all bears share the same tolerant beliefs we do here. Living in Shadow Falls made us soft, it seems. I shouldn’t have let her go. She should have stayed with me, with us, here where we would protect her. If she had stayed behind, none of this would have happened. Owen wouldn’t have been left behind to be raised by his uncle. By strangers. People he’s so scared of, he can’t stop crying.

Sometimes my bear gets exasperated and I want to run away. The cries of the baby pierce my ears and keep me awake. I can’t rest. I can't shift and let my bear roam the woods and feel the ground beneath our paws.

But that’s where my human part matters the most. Being sensible is more important. What I need is someone to keep an eye on Owen for me. Someone who can calm him down so I can work and hunt and sleep.

A human.

My mind drifts back to the gorgeous stranger in the grocery store. She’s so different. And not only because I know every face in this town like the back of my hand. Her blond hair fell in uneven strands around her face, and there was something deep and dark in her eyes, though she shot me a smile. She’s beautiful, and she keeps Owen calm. She’d be good for the two of us.

But she’s human. Even if she is a good babysitter, she can’t be what my bear thinks she is. Mate and human only fit in the same sentence if there’s a negative in-between.

I close my door behind me, my eyes are scratchy like there’s sand in them, my shoulder is pulsing from the fight last night. As if I haven’t had enough problems, there’s a new one too. Damned invaders.

My boots scrape over the timber flooring as I step down the stairs. I’m almost at the main door when Owen takes a breath, and I catch the floorboards behind creaking. My pace halts, and I turn slowly to the approaching shifter.

Asher’s up early.

“You good?” He asks in that monotone voice of his as he takes the stairs too. Though our clan is not exactly made up of sunny dispositions — if you take out our alpha, whom I’m pretty sure hit his head in his childhood. Asher lives like every day is a personal challenge for him to take on. He’s younger than me, but the folds between his brows are deep from too much frowning.

I shrug in response, knowing he’s asking me why I’m up this early too. Asher always has work to do, so he’s used to the odd hours. Me? I’m off work until I find someone who can stay with Owen. “Nothing new. I’m taking him into town.”

My fingers find the doorknob, and I leave the house my clan has lived in for generations. I stride to my truck and open the back door. Owen goes into the child seat; he doesn’t like the enclosure and starts balling immediately. I do my best to ignore it, though the cries are sharp to my ears as I buckle him up.

“Are you looking for a sitter?” Asher goes on, crossing his arms. He’s barefoot, as is usual for when we’re about to shift. I’m envious; he gets to change and run with his bear early in the morning. Honest to heart, it’s been a long week. It’s like my bear hasn’t been out for years.

I close the door and turn to lock eyes with my clan brother. The glass of the car windows muffle Owen’s cries a bit, and a tiny sense of relief washes over me. Guilt immediately takes its place, though. My sister was killed, her son left behind, alone and scared, and I’m being this fucker who can’t take a crying babe.

“Sabrina messaged me,” I tell him, patting my phone in my back pocket. “She said she might have found a nanny. Though I didn’t tell her I needed one.”

He arches a brow. “You know how she is. She always knows everything that goes on around Shadow Falls.”

“That she does.” I shrug. “Well, not everything. She didn't forsee the attack yesterday.”

Asher releases a sigh and points up at my shoulder. “How’s the shoulder, by the way? Can’t believe you didn’t change. Your bear must have gone half-crazy.”

He did, but I had no option. “If everything went to shit, and I had to run, can you imagine me carrying a baby in my mouth?”

Asher lifts his upper lip. “Yeah, that would not work.” Then his lips turn down as he tilts his head. “Though that’s exactly what natural bears do with cubs.”

“Yeah, but he’s human until his adulthood. And by then, I don’t expect to have to carry him.” I walk to the driver’s side and open the door. “Bears and humans don’t mingle. My teeth could easily decapitate the kid, and I don’t want that.”

Asher nods as I sit behind the wheel, keeping back a wince as my shoulder complains. “Good luck with your nanny. Let’s hope Sabrina knows what she’s doing.”

I jut my chin at him and turn the engine on. The car takes me down the beaten road, and the house disappears in the rearview mirror among the trees. It’s a long drive down to the main part of Shadow Falls, and there’s only nature between us. The motions of the car don’t relax Owen, but the distance between the clan and us does. His breathing calms down, though he still sobs, tears streaking down his cheeks.

“It’s going to be okay, kid,” I tell him, though it’s something I’m saying more to myself. The poor kid must be frightened as hell, and all these shifters around him don’t help. And with yesterday’s attack? It just gets worse. And it’s awful to think about how he feels inside. How much fear flows through his veins.

We reach downtown not much later, and the town’s slowly waking up. The bakery smells great as I pass it. I wave to Mrs. Dalton, sweeping her sidewalk. Not much else is happening. There’s not much to be open either way — a couple of clothing stores, the grocery, a drugstore. The bar won’t be open until much later, but I park outside anyway.

Owen still cries under his breath when I pick him up. His lower lip trembles as his gaze darts around. I hug him closer, brushing a hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him. “Yeah, I miss her too. But we’ll be all right.”

The bar’s door is unlocked when I push it open. Sabrina has her back to me, and she talks and chuckles. I would say she’s older than me because I remember her being an adult when I was a kid, but her kind doesn’t work the same as others. She looks the same today as she did twenty years ago.

“Morning,” I call as the floorboards creak under my weight.

Sabrina whirls around and flashes a smile. “Morning, Kieran!” Her eyes find Owen, and she reaches her hands out. “Is this the young man?”

Owen presses his cheek to my chest, his eyes welling with tears as he tries to keep a distance from Sabrina’s wiggling fingers. I take a step back. “Sorry. He’s not comfortable with strangers.”

She waves a hand in dismissal, propping the other to her hip. “No problem. It’s understandable. He’s scared with what he’s been through.”

“Yeah... I just hope he...” Words die on my tongue as I inhale a scent. Something like green apples, something delicious that makes my bear rise with interest. I swallow. “I hope...” What was I talking about? This smell, it just intoxicates me...

I look around, searching for the source. A couple of feet behind Sabrina stands the woman from the grocery store. Her hands joined in front of her, her teeth sinks into her lower lip.

Fuck. Did I think she was beautiful? I was wrong. She’s freaking stunning. Her curves go on for days, and she’s in a pair of jeans and a dark shirt. My bear roars inside me, and I know he wants to see her out of these clothes as much as I do, but that will not happen.

Ever.

She’s human, remember? I tell him, but he just huffs, ignoring me. My bear has apparently forgotten the rules of the Council and how tragically human-shifter mating can be. He’s either forgotten, or he doesn’t care. Damned single-minded animal.

I change my weight between my feet, trying to find some way of not smelling her. “Hi,” I greet, a knot in my throat.

She smiles. “Good morning, Kieran.”

She knows my name. How? I shake my head. Sabrina just said it. My brain is murky, but my body buzzes with how much I want to learn her name. I clench my jaw, watching her, unsure of my next step.

“This is Astrid,” Sabrina’s voice echoes from my right. “I told her you might need a hand.”

Astrid. I can’t stop looking at her. Her name is as beautiful as she is. “I see you’ve stuck around,” I stutter out, pathetically. She mentioned she was only passing through. That was my only hope of never seeing her again.

She nods. “My car broke down, and it’s still not ready. I don’t have anywhere to go, so it’s okay with me.”

My mouth opens, but I shut it quickly, shooting a glance at Sabrina. She can’t tell what my bear feels, of course. Not that I’m aware of. But she has a knowing smile on her face I dislike.

Sabrina motions for Astrid. “Well, Kieran... Astrid is staying for some days. She needs a job, and you have an open spot.”

My jaw drops. She wants me to hire Astrid as the nanny? Fuck, I can’t have that. She’d have to stay around my house, and her smell would cling to my stuff, and I could never convince my bear to ignore her. I would grow needier every day, and I’d want her more and more to the point I wouldn’t keep my hands away.

That would be my doom. I can’t mate a human. She could die. She could freaking die.

“No,” I blurt out, and I see Astrid wincing from the corner of my eye. “What I mean is... Sabrina,” I hiss, unable to add anything else. I widen my eyes and hope she’s learned to read minds somewhere in her long life, but she just crosses her arms and scowls.

“Kieran. That wasn’t very nice of you,” she scolds. “Astrid says she’s good with children.”

“I know,” I tell her because I’ve seen how Owen relaxed with her. “But... But...” Think! Think of something! “If she’s just staying for a couple of days, I’d have to look for another nanny, anyway.”

“So what!” Sabrina throws her hands up. “You’ll have the time. I’ve heard Owen has been a handful, for you and the clan. Isn’t it better to have some peace instead of none? Maybe Owen even gets used to the others before she leaves.”

My brows sink onto my nose bridge, and I don’t hide how much I hate Sabrina at this moment. No matter how much I hate it, she’s right.

If Astrid stays for a week, perhaps Owen will get used to the clan, and then I can even take him to work. Things would sail smoothly then. Even if she’s not staying for long. Her not staying long is a good thing. I tell myself that, but my bear’s mood sours. He wants her close, and he dislikes the idea of her leaving.

I turn to Astrid. “Sorry.”

She tilts her head. Her hair brushes the top of her shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t know me; there’s no reason for you to trust me this easily.”

I blink, taking her in again. It’s so easy to get lost in her beauty. “You’ve cut your hair,” I blurt out, and crap, my mouth is just working on its own, isn’t it?

Astrid’s brows shoot up her forehead, her lips parting. “I... did.” She chuckles. “In fact, I got it fixed.”

The strands are straight now, not that uneven cut it was before. I liked how it was then, but I like it this way too. She’s so pretty she could be bald for all I care.

We stare for too long. I clear my throat once I notice I’m being weird. “So. Are you up for it?”

In response, she approaches and offers her hands. Owen leans forward as if he’s beckoned to her. I let her take him from my arms, and he immediately stops sobbing. The baby still takes a moment to calm his breath, but he drops his head to the crook of her neck and sighs. The sight proves to me I have no option. Even with this attraction, even with my bear crying for her. Astrid is my only hope.

She strokes his back, keeping her head close to his as she looks up at me. “I am. Sabrina said you live in the woods?”

I nod. “Twenty minutes from here.”

“That’s far...” She breathes, but her voice is soft as if that means nothing. “Not a problem. Sabrina said she can lend me her car from tomorrow onwards. Today I might need a ride.”

Oh, yeah. I forgot the entire reason she’s still here, so close to me, is because her car’s broken down. I nod her on. “I can pick you up whenever.”

“What hours do you need me?”

There’s something primal and possessive in me when I see her with Owen. So I look away. “Could you arrive around eight? I’ll be back by the end of the afternoon.”

She nods, lulling Owen. His eyelids droop; It's like she’s bewitched him. “Great. I just have one question.”

Her eyes are intense when they lock with mine. I study her face for a moment before replying. “Shoot it.”

“Are you married?”

That catches me off guard. My body warms. A part of me wishes for her to be interested in me too. But there’s something calculated in her gaze when she asks this. There’s something else underneath, another reason she’s asking.

“I’m not.”

She nods once more, her lips tilting up. “Perfect. When do I start?”