It Started with a Snap by Piper James

Ember: I can’t believe you.

Me: What?

Ember: Did you think I wouldn’t find out?

Me: I could probably answer that question if I knew what you’re talking about…

Me: Ember?

Me: Answer me, please!

Ember: You know what you did.

Me: What did I do?

Ember: YOU ATE THE LAST CHOCOLATE DONUT!!!!

Me: Oh, Jesus. Were you trying to give me a heart attack, or something? Look in the refrigerator. I bought a whole box of them for you.

Ember: You did?

Ember: You’re the best!

Me: Don’t mess with me like that, woman. I almost had an actual coronary.

Ember: Then don’t leave me sleeping in your bed without writing a note to tell me where the chocolate is.

Me: Yes, ma’am.

Ember: Nope. Not the same as calling you “sir.” It just makes me feel old.

Me: Yes, lover.

Ember: Ooh, sexy. When are you coming home?

Ember: I meant, your home. When are you coming back to your home? Your house?

Ember: Oh, God. *white noise* I can’t hear you. *crackle crackle* Talk to you later! Bye.