Hold Onto the Stars by Tracy Broemmer

Chapter 9

Couldhe hear her heart pounding? The room was quiet, except for the rage of her pulse in her ears. How had this even happened? She’d known exactly what house Peyton lived in when her dad had called about his message. Everyone in Oak Bend knew which house he lived in. So, sure, no sweat to swing by and see what kind of work he needed done. She hadn’t meant to stand around and talk to him. To pet his dog again—though, seriously, how could she be expected to resist that sweet face?

How could she be expected to resist Peyton? She was in trouble—he hadn’t kissed Violet goodnight on their date, and here she was, dropping by to finish up her workday. They’d somehow ended up in his kitchen, and he wanted to kiss her.

Okay, so if she were being honest, she might admit that when he’d asked if she wanted to see the house, she had wanted something like this to happen. Which only made her feel worse about Violet.

The hell of it? She was being honest with him. She had been attracted to him from day one, but now that it was out in the open that maybe he felt the same way, she needed him to be a jerk. To manhandle her or to say something dismissive about Violet not needing to know what was going on. And instead, he’d asked her permission to kiss her.

Her body vibrated with need. She wanted to kiss him. Just once. Surely, Violet could forgive her that, right? A quick kiss and then Peyton and Violet could resume their dating, and no one had to be hurt by it.

Breathless, CJ skated her eyes over his face, noting the five o’clock shadow around his lips and over his cheeks and chin. The small scar on the side of his nose. The thick dark eyebrows.

She nodded before she realized she was going to do it. And then before she could take it back, like he couldn’t possibly wait a second longer, Peyton kissed her. His warm, dry lips fit hers like they were made to kiss her. Cautious and curious, he rubbed them over hers a time or two before puckering up and kissing the corner of her mouth.

Her dad would go through the roof if he knew she was standing in a client’s kitchen, kissing him on the job. Technically, she was off the clock; she had offered to swing by on her way home and see what Peyton needed. Her whole body lit up now with an electrical current that had nothing to do with the circuits in the house and everything to do with the smell of this man who stood so close to her their thighs touched.

Even after a full day of doing whatever Peyton did besides teach, his scent was a mix of woodsy and laundry fresh. CJ had the urge to take a bite of him. Maybe she would start with his lips and work her way down his neck and sink her teeth into his collarbone.

Violet!

One little kiss in the very beginning of a relationship might be easily forgiven. But something told CJ that if she left teeth marks in Peyton’s shoulder, Violet might be huffy about it. She started to back away, but Peyton moved with her. He skimmed his hands over her sides to rest lightly on her hips, as if to remind her there was no pressure. He had asked permission, after all.

This time, his kiss was intimate. CJ gasped softly when he flicked her lip with his tongue.

“No?” He nuzzled her cheek with his nose, his breath warm over her mouth. “Do you want me to stop?”

Yes!

“No,” she whispered. Her mouth felt bare, naked, without his lips over hers. When he kissed a trail back to her lips, she lifted her hand to his chest and curled his t-shirt in her fist and kissed him back. A thousand volts of electricity surged just under her skin when he slid his tongue over hers.

She should go. Her brain told her to back up and walk away. But his lips tasted like chocolate, and his tongue felt so good on hers, she couldn’t move, except closer. Another sweep of his tongue stroked the roof of her mouth. CJ held onto his shirt when she imagined she felt that kiss much, much deeper.

“I can’t.” She jerked back from him and shook her head. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“Crosby—” he argued, but he stepped back to give her some space.

“Can’t,” she repeated.

Again, he proved to be a good guy, because he simply nodded and ducked his head. “Thanks for coming by so quickly.”

“Sure.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll get started by the end of the week.”

“Great.” He nodded.

Their eyes met again. He offered her a small smile. CJ wasn’t sure if it was sheepish or sad or apologetic. She couldn’t spend too much time analyzing it, or she would be tasting his mouth, and that couldn’t happen ever again.

Finally, she jerked her gaze away and stepped toward the back door. She ignored the little needle of regret at turning her back on the rest of the house. She would like to see it. But that was dangerous, seeing as how she had a giant pang of regret in the middle of her shoulders as she walked away from kissing Peyton Quinn.

When Junie lumbered to her feet as if to walk CJ out, she leaned over to drop a kiss on the top of the dog’s head and left without another word.

* * *

“What’s wrong with you tonight?”

CJ flinched and peeked at Violet as her friend topped off her wine. Eyes on the sweet red, Violet didn’t notice CJ look at her and look away. Ella stood at her kitchen counter eyeing the charcuterie board to make sure it looked okay. CJ was ready to snatch it away from the girl and devour half of it on her own.

“Nothing.” She slipped her hand under her denim-clad leg and crossed her fingers, hoping she sounded nonchalant.

“You’re acting nervous,” Violet announced. She put the bottle down and gave CJ her full attention. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not.”

“You are, too.” Violet reached over the end of the couch and flattened her hand on CJ’s bouncing leg. “Stop it.”

CJ took a gulp of the sweet wine and looked around the room. They were waiting on two people, and CJ wished the women would show up so they could jump into the book discussion. She hadn’t loved the book, hadn’t liked it much at all, but anything would be better than looking her best friend in the eyes and remembering the way Peyton had kissed her yesterday.

“Did you read it?”

Violet tipped her head and frowned. “I did. And it was okay. Is that what you’re worked up about? Is it your turn to lead the discussion? I thought it was Becky’s.”

“It is Becky’s,” CJ answered.

Before Violet could say more, someone knocked on the door, and Ella raced through the small group of women milling about to answer it. CJ breathed a sigh of relief as the commotion stole Violet’s attention away from her.

When everyone was there, they all settled in a circle in Ella’s living room. CJ and Violet were perched on a wingback chair and the sofa, but some, like Ella, sat on the floor. Some of them drank wine, and a few of the older ladies sipped iced tea. CJ wondered what they thought of the book. It wasn’t like it was porn, and they had read some racy stuff. But CJ was pretty sure this was the first book she had read that featured a sex scene on a motorcycle.

“So, who loved it?” Becky asked to lead the discussion. “I mean, it was okay for me, but I didn’t like so much violence.”

“I loved it,” one of the tea sippers said with a shrug. “Especially the motorcycle scene.”

Violet shot an amused smirk at CJ.

“That was so hot,” Ella agreed. No surprise there. Ella liked motorcycles.

“Do you think you could really do that?” Becky asked as she studied the array of cheeses on the board.

“You sure can.” Ella nodded. All eyes turned to her, and though her cheeks flushed a deep pink, she laughed and shrugged. “Don’t judge.”

Everyone laughed and finally, a real discussion of the book started. CJ paid attention, but she was hung up on that motorcycle scene. Except in her mind, it was a bistro table. And instead of a black leather jacket, the guy was wearing a heather gray t-shirt that molded to his shoulders and chest. And instead of a long, dark ponytail, the guy had dark, untamed curls.

She forced herself to focus on the book discussion, because if she slipped at all, Violet would notice. Not to mention, she hadn’t slept much last night with the guilt for that kiss roiling around in her belly. Kissing Peyton was bad enough; what would Violet think if she knew her best friend was having explicit sex fantasies about the guy she was dating?

Maybe she should just come clean with her. Wasn’t it better to confess and say she was sorry than let the secret grow wings and hover over all of them forever? What if Peyton and Violet got married and had babies, and CJ was their godmother? What then? She couldn’t harbor secret fantasies—old or new—about her best friend’s husband.

“Hey.” Violet nudged her foot with the toe of her sandal.

“Hmm?” CJ looked up quickly. Ella was back in the kitchen, talking to a few of the girls gathered around her. Glasses were empty, and the charcuterie board had been severely picked over. Two pieces of cheese remained. CJ sighed when she realized she had zoned out for most of the evening.

“You ready?”

“Yeah.” CJ nodded. She glanced at her own glass, not surprised to find it empty. Maybe she had gone through the motions, and no one noticed that she had spaced out.

She and Violet made their way to the kitchen. Violet tossed the last of the cheese in the garbage as CJ rinsed their glasses out. They said their goodbyes, and headed outside into the sticky, summer night.

“So.” CJ bit her lip as they neared Violet’s car.

“Spill it.” Violet shrugged. “What’s eating you?”

“Nothing’s eating me.”

“Liar.” Violet tossed her little purse and her copy of the book they had discussed in through her open window and then looked at CJ expectantly.

“Have you talked to Peyton again?”

Violet leaned on the car door. “Sort of.”

CJ looked away when she winced at the pain in her chest. She had been hoping Violet might say no.

“What does sort of mean?”

“We’ve texted some,” Violet offered. “He’s pretty funny.”

CJ nodded. She cleared her throat and tipped her head back to study the stars. Funny how she’d been floundering with those big life decisions and wondering if she would ever find someone to fall in love with, and then the stars aligned for a brief second and dropped a guy like Peyton Quinn into her life. And then those same damned stars had fallen, and the joke was on her, because that guy was now dating her best friend.

It was better that way. CJ knew that. Violet had much more in common with Peyton than she did. Butit had been so long since she’d been so attracted to someone that she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“What?” Violet said again. “Just tell me what’s wrong, Crosby.”

The name jolted her, throwing her back to Peyton’s driveway yesterday when he had called her that. Violet did it to tick her off. Heaven knew what Peyton’s motivation was, but damned if it didn’t turn CJ on to hear his voice curl around her name.

“When are you going out again?”

Violet blinked at her silently and offered her a lazy shrug. “Beats me.”

“But you are going out with him again?”

“I dunno.” She nodded her head side to side. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s a nice guy. But.”

“But?” CJ urged her quietly.

“I don’t know. It just—it was fun. I’d hang out with him again, but I feel like it would be a bad idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not interested in him that way,” Violet admitted. “And I don’t want him to get the idea that I am.”

“How can you not be into him?”

“Right?” Violet laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know, CJ. He’s gorgeous, and he’s super nice. But it felt like…I dunno. Maybe he feels the same way. He didn’t kiss me.”

“Did you want him to?”

“Not really.”

CJ tried and failed to wrap her mind around that. How could Violet go out with him and not want to kiss that mouth? And touch him? Claim him?

“Why the questions?” Violet asked her.

CJ swallowed hard. How much should she say? Would Peyton be angry if she told Violet about the kiss? Did that matter? After all, Violet was her best friend.

“He kissed me yesterday.”

Late summer shadows fell around houses and trees, even Violet’s car, but CJ could see her face clearly. Violet seemed surprised but not angry.

“And you didn’t call me? You didn’t think I needed to know this?”

“Are you kidding? I didn’t sleep last night I felt so guilty.”

“Oh, please.” Violet rolled her eyes and waved her hand as if to wash away CJ’s guilt. “Crosby, I need details! Was it hot?”

“You’re not upset?”

Violet folded her arms over her chest and tipped her head. “Um. I don’t…think so?” She shrugged and shook her head. “No. I’m not. I’m pretty excited for you, so here I am again saying details. Please.”

CJ whooshed out a long sigh of relief.

“I ran into him at Bender’s before you guys went out.”

“What? When?”

“I didn’t know who he was, but I was actually sitting at the bar beside him when you texted about Leslie setting you up.”

“No kidding?” Violet laughed softly.

“I mean, it sort of felt like we had a moment. We were talking about the Tigers game. And then, I was finished, so I left—”

“Wait.” Violet frowned. “What? You sort of had a moment, but you left? Are you nuts?”

“Well, at the time, he was a complete stranger.”

“A sexy complete stranger!” Violet reminded her.

“You went out with him.”

“Sexy for you,” Violet amended her thought.

“I don’t do strangers.”

“You have.”

CJ snorted and rolled her eyes.

“So, how did it happen? The kiss? Were you at Bender’s again?”

“No. He called to talk about rewiring his garage, so I swung by his place on the way home.”

“And he plugged it in and gave you a charge.”

“Oh my God.” CJ groaned. “What? Are you fifteen?”

Violet snickered.

“So, are you gonna go out with him?”

“No.” CJ shook her head. “I just—I felt bad for keeping that from you.”

“And why are you not gonna go out with him? He, who is not only smokin’ hot to look at, but I assume is also a good kisser?”

CJ bit her lip and raised her eyebrows.

“I can’t, Vi.”

“Because I dated him once? That makes as much sense as Paul not asking me out because you guys tried to make out at the Flickhouse.”

“You’re a much better match for Peyton than I am.” CJ ignored Violet’s comment, but she had to laugh at her friend.

“I don’t even know what that means. You guys obviously have some chemistry.”

“Sex is overrated.” CJ shrugged. She flipped her keys in her hand, ready to head home.

“It’s really not, and if you think so, it’s been way too long since you had sex, CJ.”

“I can’t argue with that,” CJ agreed.

“So?”

“Nope. Gotta go.”

“CJ!” Violet called, but CJ turned her back to her and crossed the street to her truck.

“Go out with him again.” CJ opened the driver’s door and turned back to look at Violet. “Kiss him, Violet. You’ll change your mind.”

“CJ, that’s insane.”

“Vi?”

Violet crossed the street to stand at CJ’s window. She folded her arms over her chest and stared at CJ with a frown.

“What book are we reading next?”

Violet groaned and narrowed her eyes at CJ. “We’re reading, Crosby Everhart’s stubborn ass goes out with the new teacher.”

“My ass, stubborn or otherwise, is not going out with Peyton Quinn.”

“I don’t get you.”

“And that’s okay,” CJ said with a wink. “A little mystery keeps the world interesting.”

“We’re reading Jayne Eyre.”

“Didn’t we read that in school?”

“Perspective changes things,” Violet said simply. “For instance, I’m hoping that you get some sleep and wake up in the morning with a different perspective and decide to go out with the new teacher.”

“Not happening. Goodnight, Violet Craine.”