For Crying Out Loud by J. Preston
19I'm A Lover
Sometimes I write “drink coffee” on my to-do list just to feel like I’ve accomplished something.
–Jason
Aiden
Being Jenny’s friend, just her friend, is proving to be a lot harder than I expected. I find myself struggling to keep my hands to myself. Especially when she prances around the house in really tight yoga pants and barely there tops. Seriously, it’s torture. Therefore, I resolve to spend most of my time away from the house.
I go to the park with Jake, I go to the Youth Centre to see Benny, I study in the library. Actually, these past two weeks I’ve been to the library more than I have my entire last semester. This might have something to do with the fact that my workload, at the moment, is almost unbearable. Since I still haven’t declared my major, I’m taking a whole load of extra classes. The worst part is that I might not even end up needing them. Specifically, if Dad pulls me out of Starwood after Christmas like he’s been threatening. He calls me almost every day; leaving voicemails about how a business degree is the best option for my career; how the entire world relies on Finance and Economics; how if I don’t choose soon, he’ll make the decision for me… Insert my daily eye roll here.
I huff and annoyingly shut the heavy Psychology book I’ve been studying. It slides off the open Econometrics book underneath. So I shut that one as well, narrowing my eyes at the massive volume. I stretch my arms out and yawn, looking around. It’s the last Friday afternoon before Thanksgiving, and there are not that many people left in the library. I turn to my left and see a familiar face. Deciding it’s time for a break, I get up and drop both the Psychology and the Econometrics tomes on the librarian’s trolley.
“Hey,” I whisper, sliding into the chair next to Hayley.
She lifts her head up disoriented, then smiles up at me. “Hey yourself, stranger.”
“Fancy a coffee break? I’m pretty sure my brain died an hour ago. I need a reboot.”
Hayley looks down at her book and notes, then back up at me. She nods, then closes her book and gathers the rest of her things into her bag. “Sure,” she whispers back. “I think I’m done for today anyway. I’ve been reading the same paragraph about viral genomes for the past twenty minutes.”
We leave together and I take her bag from her, surprised again at the weight.
“What do you girls carry in those things?” I can’t help but mutter. Hayley laughs out loud and pulls a hair band off her wrist. Tying her straight brown hair into a high ponytail, she replies, “Everything that’s necessary to have at any given time. It’s like,” she thinks for a second, “Mary Poppins! Remember her bag? I might not have a hat stand in mine, but I do have a lot of useful things!” she exclaims, delighted! I grin back at her and open the door to the coffee shop. “Actually, I was going to go over to your house to see Jenny after the library. Are you done with studying?” she asks once we place our orders.
“Ummm…sure. I guess I can drive you there… If you want, that is?” It’s probably about time I faced Jenny, anyway.
“What’s up with you?” Hayley narrows her brown eyes at me, leaning on the counter as we wait for our drinks.
“What do you mean?” I play dumb.
She smirks at me. “Huh, so you do like her. I was beginning to think your avoidance tactics might be because you don’t.” I swear my face flames red, and I rub the back of my neck to…I don’t know, clearly not to mask my embarrassment since that gesture is obvious. I drop my arm to my side. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you guys will work everything out. To be honest, I think you both should just lose your clothes and have sex already. It’s so obvious you two want each other.” My jaw drops and my face feels a hundred degrees hotter. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it. God knows I’ve been thinking about it too much. “Gotcha!” Hayley grins.
“Irshbshjuswannbfrnds,” I mumble.
“Huh?” She looks confused. The barista hands us our coffees.
“I wish, but she just wants to be friends,” I say quietly.
“Honestly? Do you want to know a secret?” Hayley asks, blowing at the hot drink while we walk to the car. The air had been chilly, and steam rose up in smoky clouds off our drinks. I nod at Hayley, opening the car door for her. “You’re like a lost puppy.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s kinda adorable. Okay. Jenny is confused. You can’t play hot and cold with a girl and not mess her head up. I think your current tactic needs a rework. If you keep on staying away from her, nothing will change. You should try being around her and, soon enough, you’ll see, she’ll break her resolve. She’s into you, Aiden. Just have patience.”
“She is?” I look at her hopefully, starting the engine.
“Seriously, lost puppy… Yes, she is. But to let her come to terms with that, you need to be there. The less you’re there the longer she’ll deliberate and, by looking at your love stricken expression, you’d probably prefer if she’d make that decision sooner rather than later, yes?” I nod.
We drive in silence. I’m thinking about all the times that Jenny and I were in the same room, the way she looked at me, the blush on her cheeks every single time my hand brushed hers. Could this be? Could she actually want to be with me? All I’ve been doing is stalling and letting my ego get in the way, thinking that I’ve been rejected.
Is that what you want, to be friends?I remember asking her. Not really, she replied… What if, once again, I screwed up by not fighting for her? Was I right to give her space or was I supposed to just suck it up? A million scenarios run around my head like a bunch of drunken horses, racing. They are bouncing off each other, confusing and in complete chaos. When we arrive, Hayley jumps out of the car and goes straight for the door to the house, not waiting for me. I’m glad. I need to think of a strategy here. Being just friends with Jenny is hard, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it; and while I’m being just friends, I can always try to get closer at the same time. I’ve got until Christmas to change her mind; that’s a month. Unless. Jenny and Jason are coming to London too.
I get out of the car and rush into the house. Jenny and Hayley are sitting on the kitchen counter. They both wave at me, and Jenny blushes. I’m about to run past her when I decide Phase One of the Jenny Project is officially in action. I skid to a full stop, then turn and walk to her, embracing her in a hug, catching a whiff of strawberries when my nose connects with her hair. She’s shocked and doesn’t react. For a second, I’m mortified. I’ve done the wrong thing, then she wraps her arms around me and squeezes me gently.
“Hey, beautiful,” I say, giving her a peck on her left cheek. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!” I exaggerate, letting her go and moving out of the hug. Her hands stay outstretched for a second too long before she catches herself and puts them next to her on the counter. “All good with you?” She nods, her cheeks turning red. I smile, hoping that my dimples show. C’mon little bastards, work to my advantage! Kitten’s eyes grow wide, and she bites her lower lip. “I’ll talk to you later about volunteering. Benny’s been asking about you.” I smile wider. Jenny nods again and Hayley crosses her arms, laughing silently and shaking her head. I turn around and stroll confidently out of the kitchen. I pat myself on the back. That was a good first step; now step two. I run to my room. Jake has made himself comfortable on my bed. I scratch him behind his ear, jolting him awake. I guess the no sleeping in beds unless it’s me in Jenny’s rule never really stuck. I grab my laptop then run into Jason’s room.
I open the door shielding my eyes. “Cover yourself if you’re indecent. Also, oink if you’ve got company.” Jason bursts into laughter.
“Oink, oink, asshole.” He laughs, and I take a step back. “Just kidding. It’s just me and my ultra large penis here. He’s like a separate dude, that one.”
“Really, man?” I scrunch my face in disgust, taking my hand away from my eyes. Jason is sitting on his bed with his laptop on his lap and, thankfully, dressed.
“What?” he asks innocently. “You asked…” He grins at me.
“Yeah, I’m sorry I did… Anyway!” I change the subject to what’s on my mind. “Jenny mentioned a couple of weeks ago that you guys are going to London for Christmas.”
“Oh yeah! I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’ve booked your tickets already, completely slipped my mind.” Jason replies. “Wanna take the same flight?”
“Exactly what I was thinking. I haven’t booked mine yet, have you?”
“No. I always leave stuff like that to the last minute. Jenny will kill me…”
“Okay, let’s book now,” I say and bring up the airline’s website.
We skim through flight options and decide to fly out in the morning a couple of days before Christmas and return just before New Year’s Eve. The prices are steep, so I tell Jason to just transfer me money for the economy class and I’ll book straight away. He seems legitimately relieved that he doesn’t have to think about it anymore.
I go back into my room and change our flights to First Class, making sure Jenny’s seat is next to mine and Jason’s is as far away as possible on both flights. Proud of myself, I purchase the flights and text my dad the details. I also text Carter asking if he’d take care of Jake while we’re away. As I press send, I hear a booming voice coming from the living room.
“Ladies, drop your pants. Gentlemen, pull yours up and walk away. Carter is here to serve your needs, my dears!” Jake’s head goes up. He barks once, then hops off the bed and runs out of my room. I follow him, meeting Jason in the hallway.
“I guess Kennedy came by.” Jason shrugs.
“I guess so,” I agree.
Carter is spread eagle on the floor when we walk into the living room, Jake on top of him, licking the living shit out of him.
“No, please!” Carter giggles like a child. “It’s ticklish!” I let Jake torture him for a couple of minutes longer before calling him. Jake looks at me judgingly, like I’ve just interrupted him in his favourite play time, which I suppose I did. He does calm down, however, and comes to sit by my leg, wagging his tail and looking at Carter, who’s trying to catch his breath on the floor.
“What an entrance,” Jenny laughs and helps him up.
“That dog,” Carter looks at Jake lovingly, “is the best damn thing that happened on this side of the Atlantic. Aren’t you?” He leans down, baby-talking to Jake, who yelps with happy appreciation, wagging his tail madly.
“Yes, you are,” Carter continues, oblivious to how ridiculous he looks. His shirt is covered in brown fur and slobber, his precious hair all messed up. And half his face is covered in doggy saliva. “If I could, I’d take you away and never give you back,” he says to Jake, then makes kissing noises at him.
Hayley bursts out laughing, unable to keep herself together. Jenny follows soon after.
“Oh. Hi Hayley, didn’t see you there.” Carter’s voice suddenly goes deep. He straightens his back and runs his fingers through his hair. It doesn’t help, now his hair sticks out in two directions, making him look like he’s got horns on each side of his head.
“Hi,” Hayley squeezes out when she and Jenny calm down. “So you’re a dog lover, huh?” She smiles at him, and I swear to God I think Carter blushes for a microsecond.
“I’m a lover,” he winks at her, but Hayley just rolls her eyes, unaffected by his charm. Carter clears his throat, confused, then gestures around to all of us. “Since the entire gang is here,” he starts, “I have come to cordially invite you to Thanksgiving dinner at the Kennedy household.” He bows as he finishes.
“Really?” Jenny asks, excited. “A proper Thanksgiving with your family?”
“If you can call them a family, they’re more like a herd of animals,” Carter mutters.
“Oh, my god!” Jenny exclaims, jumping up and down. “Jason, our first Thanksgiving in America in years! And we’re all going to be together!” She runs up to Jason and jumps into his arms. He twirls her around, his deep laughter bouncing off the walls. I can’t help but smile. She looks so happy, so excited… A twinge of jealousy shoots through me when I look over at Carter. His expression is full of admiration as he follows Jenny’s twirls.
Jake joins in on the excitement and starts barking happily and jumping up and down.
“You’re invited too.” Carter leans down and pats his head. “And you too, don’t think you’re getting out of this one!” he says, straightening up, looking Hayley straight in the eyes and wiggling his eyebrows.
“Oh…” She blushes, not quite as immune to Carter’s charm as I thought. “I’m sorry, but I promised my family I’d go to see them.” She gestures apologetically.
The funny thing is, Carter genuinely looks disappointed.
Huh, wonder what that’s about?