For Crying Out Loud by J. Preston

18Basically Straddling Aiden

When life gives you lemons… Ah fuck it, I’m done with these.

- Aiden

Jenny

“So you work at the Centre,” I say, remembering that I thought Aiden used it as a poor excuse the morning after the frat party. He slips into the dimly lit booth opposite me, folds his hands on top of the table, and starts fidgeting with a paper napkin, not looking at me at all. The booth is half moon shaped with a small, scratched, round table in the middle that has seen better days. It would sit three people at most. There are two of us, and I find myself wishing he chose to sit closer to me. I inch a bit towards the middle, pretending that I need more space, but all I really crave is his proximity.

He nods and looks down at his menu. He’s been awfully quiet ever since Benny left the two of us alone and we dropped Jake off with Jason. I self-consciously sniff my hair. Do I smell? All I can smell is that glorious scent coming off of his hoodie. I notice Aiden’s playful gaze on me. Shit. He must have seen me.

“Smelling the strawberries?” he asks, arching his perfect brow. Damn the Brits and their ability to produce hunks like the fine specimen in front of me. I blush and quickly drop my hands to my lap. My fingers automatically go to the bracelet and the little strawberry charm attached to it.

“So, how long have you been Benny’s Big Brother?” I ask, changing the subject like a champ.

“Just over a year now,” Aiden trails off, his eyes going a shade darker. There’s something I can’t exactly pinpoint behind them. Anguish? Sadness? Whatever it is, it’s prompting me to dig deeper, making me want to know more. I lose the battle between nosiness and courtesy and decide to just dive in head first with the question that’s been on my mind since I first saw them together.

“Can you…tell me more about him?” I stumble on my words, having the distinct feeling that I’m touching on a difficult subject. Aiden’s shoulders rise and fall steadily to the rhythm of his breathing, and, for a few heartbeats, I think he’s not going to reply. Then he lifts his heavy gaze and fixes it on me.

“Yes,” he starts. “When I first met Benny, I didn’t know anything about the Youth Centre or the work they do. It was a chance meeting, actually. The little shit was twelve and tried to steal my car.” He smiles a half smile.

“He did?” I ask with disbelief. The boy I met today did not look like a GTA mastermind. He looked like a young boy with his whole life ahead of him. Skillful young boy. I mean, he waltzed his way into my heart like a pro.

Aiden nods. “Some neighbourhoods in Starwood are worse than others. Not everything around here is all Ivy League College Town. There are tough areas, ones you wouldn’t think existed in a place like Starwood, ones where kids as young as ten know how to use a gun,” Aiden says through clenched teeth. I lift my head up and look at him; he’s staring at the table between us. The napkin he was playing with was in shreds.

I throw all caution to the wind and slide around the booth, sitting right next to him, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it reassuringly. Aiden radiates heat, warming my whole body without even knowing it. His rough fingers wrap around my small hand and he squeezes it back, looking into my eyes. No. In that moment, his emerald green eyes are gazing into my soul, asking it to let him in, melting me from the inside out. I shiver and Aiden puts his other hand on my arm, rubbing it up and down for warmth in a tender gesture. With every upward movement of his hand, I burn. And every time he brings it down, my heart melts for him a little more. I’m far, far away from being cold.

He inhales deeply. “Benny is from one of those neighbourhoods,” he continues, unaware that my resolve to be just friends is evaporating with every shaky breath I take. “He had a tough life. His father died when he was five in a street shooting, and his only male role model was his cousin. His cousin who was the leader of a small gang.” Aiden hangs his head. “Benny joined his cousin’s gang when he was ten, started off doing minor jobs, like delivering messages, warning them when the police were coming. Little things, you know? Soon, though, his cousin saw the potential and started teaching him how to use guns and break into places.” I cover my mouth to hide the gasp. “Benny started stealing cars soon after. He was their favourite toy.” Aiden takes his hand from mine and rubs the back of his neck, closing his eyes. His lips are a thin line, and I have to fight myself not to touch him, comfort him. As much as I’m afraid of what the rest of the story brings, I know I need to let him finish. “When I met him, he was a shadow of the boy you met today. He was skinny, desperate, and had no regard for his own life.” He stops and looks around the diner. “I don’t know. I guess I saw something in him that made me want to help. I think it was the look in his eyes, like he wanted to get caught, like he couldn’t take it anymore. So, instead of reporting him to the police, I took him out for a meal and just talked to him like a normal kid. Told him that if he wants a friend to talk to and another meal, I’ll be at the same place, same time the next day, and the day after that…and every day until he’s ready.

“It took him a week to come see me. As promised, I showed up at the diner every day at the same time. Sometimes I saw him hiding and checking if I was inside. Sometimes I didn’t even catch a glimpse of him. But a week later, he finally came into the diner and sat opposite me. He was all sharp edges and attitude, and he was very, very apprehensive at first…” Aiden’s lips give into a small smile. “I guess he must have thought I was going to rat him out to the cops at the first opportunity I got or something. It took him a month of free meals to start trusting me. But once he did, he told me about his situation.” Aiden’s body goes rigid.

I rub his arm for comfort and inch a bit closer.

“He said he wanted to get out.” Aiden picks another napkin off the table and starts scrunching it with his free hand. “So we started planning… We found the Youth Centre, we made plans, we found a good foster family…” He takes a deep breath. “Somehow, his cousin found out and…” His voice breaks. “The day we had it all planned for, I was meant to pick up Benny from our usual spot, but he didn’t show. I waited for a couple of hours. I kept on getting this bad feeling about him being late. So, finally, I decided to drive down the route Benny usually took to come see me. It was getting dark and I could feel my chance of spotting him on the street slipping away. I don’t know what made me park my car where I did. Shit, kitten, I don’t even want to think about what could have happened if I didn’t.” I can see that talking about this is causing him pain, so I slide myself even closer and put my head on his shoulder, hoping that my proximity will make it easier to talk. Aiden just wraps his arm around me, pulling me into an embrace and kissing the top of my head. He’s holding me so close I can feel his heartbeat.

“I found him there, by the bins, you know? He was bruised and had deep cuts all over his body, arms slashed and bleeding…” His voice hitches. “I took him to the hospital, and they barely managed to save his life. A week later, his cousin went to jail for some puny crime, and by the time Benny got better he decided he wanted to go back home to his mum, try going straight without his cousin pressuring him.”

“That’s great,” I say softly.

“Yeah…” Aiden says into my hair. “Except his cousin has been out on parole for the past week…”

This time, I’m not able to stop the gasp escaping my lips.

“What will you do?” I ask, a big lump lodged in my throat.

“I’ll go back to the Centre this evening and meet with the social workers. We’ll try to find a safe place for Benny. Somewhere he can stay without a threat on his life.” His voice is full of desperation, and the lump in my throat grows.

“I’m so sorry,” I say as tears start rolling down my cheeks, emotions swirling inside me. The sadness I feel for Benny not being able to go home to his mother; the need to help; the need to make sure both Aiden and Benny will be ok. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. Aiden lifts my chin, looking into my eyes, and gently wipes away the tears with his thumbs.

“Shhhh,” he soothes. “We’ll figure this out. Don’t worry.” The words he says are reassuring, but the expression on his face is grim. I can’t believe I ever entertained the idea that Aiden is shallow or only thinks about himself. I’m beginning to understand him more, know him more, and I really, really like that person. My heart swells for him and his altruistic need to help others. Suddenly, I find myself wanting—no—needing to be as close to him as possible. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer to me, enveloping him in a hug. It's a bit awkward in the small space, but he puts his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap, hugging me close to him and rubbing my back.

“How can I help?” I ask through tears that are freely falling right now.

“Kitten…” Aiden says softly, brushing my hair behind my ear.

“Aiden, I want to help,” I say, trying hard to calm my emotions. I realize that being an emotional wreck is not very helpful. It feels selfish in this situation, actually. But I can’t help the despair I’m feeling.

“You could start volunteering with me at the Centre…” he mumbles.

“Done,” I say, nodding for added effect. “What else?” The tears stop now that I’m in action mode.

“You could also…” He lifts my head away from his chest. His t-shirt is wet with my tears, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he just puts his soft, large hand on my face and tilts it so that all I can see is his large, green eyes. “Fuck, kitten, I need you to get off my lap.” He groans. Holy shit, he’s right. I’m acting like a lunatic. “Unless you’re going to kiss me,” he finishes, his voice husky. A thrilling sensation starts at the back of my spine. I’m not breathing, he’s not breathing. I take stock of the whole situation. Here I am, an emotional wreck, basically straddling Aiden, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Before my brain registers my actions, I adjust my body and my face moves towards his. I can smell his minty fresh breath, feel the heat of his body. My lips are an inch away from his and getting closer, closer… I close my eyes in anticipation.

Something in his pocket vibrates, and I jump. What the hell am I thinking? We’re supposed to take it slow, be friends, no kissing business. Although, would a little bit of kissing business be that bad? I mean, how bad could it be?

I look at Aiden. He’s breathing fast and his eyes are black as coal.

Bad.

Bad, bad, bad.

I scramble off of his lap, muttering, “Sorry.” Aiden’s heated gaze follows my every move. “Your phone,” I squeak, pointing at his crotch. My gaze follows my hand and my eyes widen at the large bulge I’m greeted with. I swallow loudly and clear my throat, looking back up. Safe place. Think of a safe place; calm seas, little Aiden—I mean island! Shit, little island! “I think your phone is buzzing,” I blurt out.

Aiden’s gaze is still on me. The phone stops. Aiden licks his lips. I lick mine in response.

The buzzing starts again.

I shake my head to clear my mind from the haze.

“Are you going to answer it?” I ask. Aiden doesn’t drop his eyes while he shakes his head. “Please answer it.” I plead.

Still holding my gaze, Aiden pulls his phone out of his pocket and lifts it to his ear. I’m in a trance; I can’t move or avert my eyes. All I can do is watch him intently.

“Hello?” His voice is silky smooth and deep, and it makes my body shiver with pleasure in places I didn’t realize could shiver. “Oh, hello, father.” He looks away, the spell broken. I move back to the opposite side of the booth, putting as much distance as possible between myself and the hottest Brit on earth, shakily letting out the breath I was holding in my lungs. “Yes,” Aiden says bitterly into his phone. “No, I will not be coming in November.” He pauses. “Exams,” he says, irritated. I strain to listen to the other side of the conversation, but the diner is too loud for that. “I haven’t decided yet, Dad.” Aiden exhales loudly, then rakes his hand through his hair, looking up at the ceiling with despair. “Fine,” he growls into the receiver. “I’ll be home for Christmas. We can talk then.” He snaps, then chucks the phone onto the seat next to him, groaning loudly.

“Want to talk about it?” I ask.

“Not really,” he huffs. “Just the usual crap…” He bites his bottom lip, making me lean toward him.

“So…” I start tentatively. “You said you’re going home for Christmas? To London?” He nods like it’s the last thing he wants to do. I chew on my lower lip, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. Aiden’s lips part, and he refocuses his gaze on my mouth. “Jason and I are meeting up with Dad in London for Christmas this year too,” I say, not quite sure where I’m going with that. I guess I’m just trying to take his mind off the conversation he just had with his dad and his eyes off my lips, not that I’m complaining.

Aiden’s head snaps to attention. His green eyes meet mine. “You are?” he asks. I nod, not really trusting my voice. Truth be told, Aiden’s proximity, even with the table between us, affects me a lot. A lot, a lot. Like, rip the table out of the way, straddle him to infinity a lot… “That’s cool.” He smiles at me with those damn dimples. “Maybe we could all do something together then?”

“Maybe…” I reply, looking at a ‘very interesting’ scuff mark on the table. Inside, I’m doing an Irish dance from happiness. I’ll be seeing Aiden over Christmas!