For Crying Out Loud by J. Preston

32Sociopath

Coffee doesn’t ask questions. Coffee understands.

- Jenny

Aiden

Cold sweat runs down the nape of my neck as I drive towards the dorms. I clench my hands tightly on the steering wheel, focusing on the road rather than the words I saw when I received the latest texts from Chloe.

“She replied,” Jason startles me out of my thoughts. I all but forgot he was in the car with me. “We’re good to go.”

I nod and squeeze my eyes shut. How could I let this happen just as things with Jenny were so perfect?

“What the hell, dude? Open your eyes and watch where you’re going!” Jason screams. I open them reluctantly and glance in his direction. “Eyes on the road, THE ROAD!” he panics. I focus back on the route I’m taking. The street is empty, but he’s right, I’ve been careless with my driving lately. “That’s better,” Jason exhales, his shoulders relaxing a little.

I don’t reply. There’s nothing to say. Nothing to defend myself with. Everything, all the shit I’m in, is entirely my fault, my doing.

“She could be lying.”

“What if she isn’t? What then?” I ask. He doesn’t answer for a long while.

“Look, she might be lying or she might be telling the truth. No point in sulking until we find out, is there?” Jason finally says.

We drive in silence the rest of the way. I’ve screwed up so badly, so Jason still standing by me and willing to help means everything to me. I knew ignoring Chloe was a gamble, but Jason assured me he’d keep her occupied. We were certain she was just trying to get to him, trying to get his attention by screwing with me. Then that text.

I didn’t reply to her calls or texts in the last week, and they stopped almost completely. Until we landed, and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I wasn’t sure what hit me when I took it out and read the messages in my inbox. There were two. One, which must have been sent just after we boarded the flight and I switched my phone off, and one received just before we landed. I’M PREGNANT, the first read. Enough to stop my heart.

Then, when I scrolled down, my whole world started collapsing.

Nameless people and their tired faces rushed past me like in a movie, and all I could see in clear focus was Jenny’s confused expression as she sat on the bench waiting for Jason and me to collect our luggage. In that moment, I would have given anything to make that night with Chloe disappear. Where’s the Devil when you’re willing to sell your soul?

I must have read that last text a thousand times, trying to let it sink in, before Jason took the phone out of my hand and read it himself.

“Stop ignoring me, you’re the father,” he mutters, reading it out loud. “Well, shiiiit.”

Shit is exactly what I was neck deep in. After that, he told me he’d help me find out the truth. He said not to worry. He texted Chloe that he’d like to see her, that he needed to see her as soon as possible.

We waited for her reply for ages and, in the meantime, Jason decided that it was best not to involve Jenny until the situation was resolved. It killed me not being able to talk to her, not being able to touch her, but I couldn’t bring myself to deceive her like that. So I stayed distant. Every confused expression on her face, each tentative touch, was like a knife slicing my heart.

Chloe still hadn’t replied to Jason’s text when we got back home from the airport, and he made an executive decision to just go to her dorm and wait for her there if she wasn’t in. “It’s either that or you’ll start sobbing on the floor any minute,” he said. I agreed.

Anything to get me out of the house and as far away from kitten as possible. How could I look her in the eyes and not feel the shame and the disappointment? I was a jerk, a stupid jerk.

“So, the plan is we don’t come in ‘guns blazing’. She’ll just fight back—”

“Why are you helping me?” I interrupt him as I put the car in park in front of the Starwood dorms.

Jason hangs his head. “Well, if she’s lying, then I feel partially responsible. I promised I’d keep her occupied and off your back, but then…I have been ignoring her. She’s been getting so whiney that I stopped replying in the past week, and I’ve got this feeling that she’s trying to retaliate.”

I fight the urge to give my best mate a hug in gratitude and just playfully punch him in the arm instead. He grunts and smiles. I can’t stop the thought that the poor guy has nothing to apologise for. He wasn’t the one who got hammered and then… What? Can’t really call it an accident. You don’t ‘accidentally’ fuck someone.

My mood instantly sours at the thought of that fateful night. How could I have done it and why did Jenny never let me explain properly? Why did I let her dismiss the subject?

Because I’m a coward, that’s why. If only I had the guts to tell her the whole truth about that night…

The sky darkens, and it starts to drizzle as we walk with as much cheerfulness as a convicted murderer walking towards an electric chair the last few steps between the car and the entrance to the building.

Jason pulls open the large, glass door and guides me through the corridors. Too soon, he stops. The door is unassuming. Certainly, nothing gives the impression that behind this particular piece of wood is a person who holds my future, my happiness in the palm of their small hand. A small whiteboard hangs next to the door. I look closer ‘Be the change you want to see -Gandhi’ is written in neat handwriting.

Jason reads it out loud and snorts. “Can’t believe how pretentious she is. Considering all the lies and manipulations she’s put people through…”

I raise my hand and knock. “I’ll be right back,” Jason whispers before turning around and sprinting off. Shit. I guess I’m on my own then.

The door opens a crack, and Chloe’s face pops out.

“Hi,” I mumble.

“Hi.” She looks around the corridor. I look as well. It’s empty. How the hell did Jason disappear so quickly?

“May I come in?”

“Now is not a good time,” she says, making the gap between the door narrower. I put my palm on the door to stop her from closing it completely.

“Chloe,” I say with as much authority as I can muster. “Don’t you think we need to talk?”

“Can it not wait?” she asks with irritation in her voice. What the hell? “I’ve got an appointment I can’t be late to,” she says, then looks up and down the corridor again. I thought Jason said she knew we were coming. Odd.

“I’d rather discuss the issue of you being pregnant with my child. Now,” I say loudly, following a gut instinct.

Chloe jumps in her place, startled. “Shhh,” she shushes me. “Fine, you can come in, but you’ve got to be quick.” I push on the door. “Wait, a sec.” She stops me then disappears from behind the crack only to reappear a few seconds later, opening the door for me and rushing me in. I recognise the pink room straight away. The room of my nightmares.

I turn around and see Chloe peering into the hallway one more time, then quickly closing the door.

“I thought you were rushing for an appointment.” I gesture at her attire. She’s wearing a short, almost see-through satin robe from under which you can clearly see a black corset and barely there panties. Chloe pulls the robe tighter.

“Yeah, well, I was just getting dressed. I was asleep. You woke me up.” Right. And my name is Mother Teresa. Show me a girl who willingly sleeps in full makeup and a tight black corset, and I’ll give you an island. I mean, not that it’s not what guys’ dreams are made of. We’re just aware that our fantasies are not so close to the tank top and shorts truth.

I raise my eyebrows at her, making her scoff, then walk over to the chair by her desk and sit down.

“So?” Chloe asks, fluffing her hair impatiently.

“So.”

“Spit it out, Aiden.”

“Me?” What the hell? She’s the one who’s pregnant. I slowly look around the room, spotting a wine cooler with a Champagne bottle in it and two flutes standing next to it. I jump up to my feet. “What the hell is this?” I shout.

“What?” Chloe asks, looking around.

“This!” I point at the Champagne. “You’re drinking? While pregnant? Are you out of your mind?”

“Oh, this… It’s not even open!” She puts her hands on her hips, revealing the corset once again.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you were going to poison our child.”

“Stop saying that!”

“What? Our child? It is, though, isn’t it? That’s what you said in your text, I’m the father.” Chloe’s eyes dart around the room, averting mine. Has she been lying?

“No!” she shouts. “I mean, yes! But you can forget about it. You were ignoring me so I went…I went and got an abortion!” Oh. My. God. She is lying. I can smell the deceit hanging in the room, wrapped around in her sickly pink curtains. I narrow my eyes just as the door bursts open.

“Jasey, you came,” Chloe purrs and launches herself at him. I want to puke.

“You’re a liar,” I grit through my teeth.

Jason pries Chloe’s digits off his person and looks from me to her.

“What is Aiden doing here?” he asks her while gently cupping her chin. I look at him in confusion, then at Chloe, whose eyes are large and darting around the room in search of…an answer? I look at Jason again, and he winks at me, a barely visible wink, but I catch it.

“He came to borrow some notes!” Chloe exclaims while running to her desk. She picks a stack of papers and thrusts them at me. Is she honestly expecting me to go along with this?

I take the notes from her and flick through them absentmindedly. Okay. I’ll play along, Jason.

“Jason,” I start. “I didn’t know you were coming.” A corner of Jason’s mouth lifts upwards just a touch, and he nods slightly to me. Sly motherfucker!

“Aiden was just leaving,” Chloe interrupts.

I look at her. “I thought you had an appointment to rush to.”

Jason lifts his eyebrow and pouts. “But I thought we had plans.” Jesus, he’s a good actor.

Chloe is silent. I can see her thinking process, trying to find a way out of this situation. I decide to end the charade.

“Well, I’d better be going,” I say.

“Yes, great, see you later.” Chloe practically jumps at the opportunity to get rid of me. She runs to the door, reaching for the doorknob.

I laugh. “Are you serious? Do you really think I’m going to go before you tell me exactly what the hell is going on?” Her face falls.

“Aideeen, please,” she pleads as the last resort, but I’m not budging. How the hell did I ever trust this girl?

Jason sits on the bed and reaches for the Champagne, popping the cork with a loud ‘pop’ and pouring himself a glass. Looking at me, he says, “Aiden, want some? Chloe?”

“No, thanks,” I reply. Chloe’s shoulders sag as Jason takes a sip. “I’m driving, and Chloe is pregnant, or…not anymore? Which one is it Chloe?”

Jason spits out the mouthful of Champagne onto the pink rug under his feet. “Wait, what?” he exclaims. Bloody hell, this guy should be an actor. If I didn’t know better, I’d totally believe that this is the first time he’s hearing about it. His eyes are bulging and his gaze wavers between Chloe and I. He finally spits out, “Care to elaborate?”

“Chloe?” I look at her.

“I’m not pregnant,” she says quietly.

“Because, in the last few hours, you had an abortion?” I cock my head to the side, willing her to just come out with the truth.

Jason gasps and covers his mouth with his hand. “What would Gandhi say?” I fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. Reel it in, Mad Dog.

Chloe hangs her head and sighs, not replying.

“Chloe,” I say. “Were you pregnant with my child or not?” She looks up and stares at Jason, anxiousness in her features. She shakes her head. “You weren’t.” I exhale in relief.

“Aiden, I—”

“I can’t believe you’d lie like that,” I say in disgust.

“You slept with my best friend?” Jason shots up to his feet. Chloe’s eyes go huge.

“Jason…” she begs, her voice whiney.

“I can’t believe you’d sleep with my very best friend!” he exclaims. “I can’t stand to look at you,” he spits out, and I’m honestly not sure whether he’s acting the part or not. Either way, he’s very convincing. I’m trying to figure out what the main goal behind this outburst is. I mean, we know the truth now, she’s not pregnant. Why antagonise her even further? Not that I’m not enjoying the horror painted on her lying face.

“Jason. I wouldn’t! You know I love you!” She falls to her knees. My jaw drops.

“You wouldn’t?” I say incredulously. Chloe’s eyes are focused on Jason’s face. It’s like I’m not even here.

“Elaborate,” he grits through his teeth.

“I love you. I never stopped loving you. Jasey, you’re the one for me.”

“No,” he says coldly. “Elaborate on sleeping with my best friend.”

“I didn’t sleep with him,” she pleads. “Please believe me.”

“But you said—” I start.

“Well, I lied!” she interjects, snapping at me. I can’t believe this shit. All this fucking heartache, and all because of the whim of some stupid, blonde bimbo who was trying to get at her ex.

“You’re a sociopath,” I state, blinking my eyes, trying to see if I can wake up from this nightmare.

“Jesus Christ, Chloe,” Jason says, and his act finally breaks. He’s staring at her like he can’t recognise her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Chloe sniffles, and a tear runs down her cheek. “I just wanted us back.”

“There is no us!” Jason exclaims. “There never was. We dated for a month. We both agreed it was casual.”

“That’s not true,” she whines.

Jason kneels by her and takes her hand. His voice is quiet, almost a whisper. “Yes it is, Chloe. Don’t you remember?” He rubs her cheek with his other hand in a calming motion.

“But…I wanted so much more.” Chloe’s face scrunches up, and tears now fully spill down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Chloe,” he soothes. “I can’t give you more. I never could. Especially not after this.”

I retract out of the dorm room and wait for Jason to finish the conversation privately. I still can’t believe what just transpired. What a conniving little b—.

I can’t even finish the thought before I realise, I haven’t slept with Chloe. I never betrayed kitten!

I smile.

It's a full on grin.

I can’t wait to get home and tell her that I didn’t screw up. That I love her. That everything is going to be okay from now on. It’s her and me against the world, and we’re going to face whatever else life throws our way together. Jenny by my side and her palm in mine.

I grin again at the prospect of what’s to come, at all the happiness ahead of me.

Boy, was I wrong. All hell was about to break loose.