Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez
I sit on this crowded couch, in a house that I’m not familiar with. I know it’s one of Travis’s buddy’s, but I’ve never been here before. I’ve been sitting here for over two hours, and I need to pee, but Travis told me not to move from here. He’s been drinking over at the dining room table all night.
Even though his eyes aren’t on me, I know he’s watching me. It’s a house party, but I’ve never been to one before because my parents don’t let me. I’m not one of those teenagers who disobeys their parents.
My consequences are hurtful, and I’d rather not be punished anyway, but when Travis says something, it happens. I pray to God my parents don’t find out I’m here.
I wait for a few minutes before my bladder starts to protest even louder. I look over to where Travis is sitting, and I see that he’s not at the table anymore.
I look around me to see if he’s anywhere, but he’s not. I make the decision to get up and go use the bathroom and come right back. When I’m done peeing, I open the door and a guy is standing outside the door.
He offers me a friendly smile, and that’s when I get a really good look at him. He’s a good-looking guy. His face is rugged and covered with a beard that only adds to his appeal. He has the prettiest green eyes.
I hear my name. “MAE!”
The guy in front of me turns toward the sound while I wince at it. Cold chills run down my body, and it hurts just knowing what is yet to come.
Travis walks over to me and yanks me by the arm without saying anything. His fingerprints are going to leave bruises, but I try to control my breathing from the pain of it.
He drags me all the way outside as people watch us, but no one steps in to say anything. No one ever does.
When we get outside, the cool night air of Texas hits me in the face, only helping me breathe easier. Travis throws me against his truck and gets into my face.
“Why the fuck were you with that guy?” I start to shake my head because I can’t quite form words out of fear. “Don’t play stupid, Mae. It doesn’t look pretty on you.”
I release an uneasy breath before answering him. “I was using the bathroom and he was standing outside. I didn’t do anything.”
I hear the smack before the sharp pain hits my cheek and it feels like it’s on fire. As if I was burned, I cry out in pain. Tears blur my eyes, and I drop to the floor, not being able to hold myself up any longer.
“You’re not my Mae anymore.” You’re not my Travis anymore either. “You’re just a fucking whore.”
With those words ringing in my ears, he walks over to the driver’s side of his truck and gets in. He shocks me when he turns on his truck and pulls out of the parking. I have to move so he won’t hit me, and I stand there staring at his truck until I can’t see it anymore.
I look around me and people give me a few stares with sympathy, but they just turn away after a while—like everyone in this town.
I stand there numb, the only pain is my burning cheek, but the bleeding heart inside my chest just dies a little more. Without giving it much thought, I start walking toward my house. We’re in the outskirts of town, so it’ll take me a few hours to get there walking, but I don’t care at this point.
I feel so beaten down and not physically. I feel it in my chest, in my bones. I feel so emotionally exhausted I would be okay with dying at this very moment.
Everyone says that your life is precious, and you shouldn’t want to die, but there’s nothing precious about the bruises, the cuts, the bleeding I have every day. There’s nothing precious about being hurt by the people you love and not being able to get away.
When I finally get to my house, I sigh in relief because my legs are killing me. When I walk in as quietly as I can, I’m startled by the lights turning on behind me.
My heart clenches in pain knowing what’s to come. I turn slowly. “Daddy I’m so—” His hand connects with my cheek—the same one that Travis hit me on, and I bite my lip to keep from screaming. My cheek stings, and the inside of my mouth turns numb from the pain.
I taste metallic and know my lip is bleeding from how hard I bit it, but I prefer that than to be hit again. I wouldn’t be able to take it. I drag my eyes to my father, and he stands there looking so angry, it scares me.
“Don’t ever fucking disrespect my house again.” He walks away, leaving me without another word.
I wait until I’m in my bathroom to break down into tears. How can this be my life? How can this be a gift? There’s no way out. I just want the pain to go away.
I strip out of clothes while my body shakes uncontrollably. I turn on the water to get into the tub. I look at the girl in the mirror, and my heart cries for her; she’s so broken.
There’s a cut on my cheek and it’s double in size from the multiple blows I received. My lip is busted from biting it and the dark under eye circles just make me look ill.
I turn away from the broken girl and get into the tub and sob quietly. Thoughts about death being better than living in this nightmare assault my brain. Haunting temptations that the pain will stop once I take my last breath sound like peace to me.
I lie inside the tub and let the water cover me, my cuts and bruises sting, but I ignore it and fall into a peaceful bliss where there’s no pain.
The darkness that hits me isn’t so bad compared to my reality.
I sit outside on the bench I’ve become too familiar with. My feet are still killing me, and I’m so tempted to walk into Poetry Cafe and ask Wyatt for a job, but it scares me because I don’t want to get close to him.
It’s hard to explain, but I feel this pull toward him, and I want nothing to do with another man. I just want to take care of my baby and be safe. That’s all I ask for in this life.
I sit a few more minutes listening to Rise Up by Andra Day, hoping that the song gives me the courage to go ask. This song has been my jam lately, it really hits home. I always let my baby listen to it with me because music has been a saving grace and I want to share that with her or him.
I wait till the song ends for me to get up and head inside. I’m in awe when I walk in, it feels so cozy and peaceful. The whole place is made of dark brown wood, the bar, the tables, the floor. The light fixtures hanging down above each table are the only lights illuminating the whole place. Soft music hits my ears, I don’t know the song, but I like it. It adds more to the whole homey, coffee house aesthetic he has going here.
The smell of coffee hits my nose, and I inhale the sweet yet bitter smell. I don’t like coffee, but the smell always makes me crave it. The smell and taste are so different.
I walk over to the coffee bar and see a girl standing behind it, who’s offering me a soft smile. I instantly relax knowing there’s another girl and it won’t be just Wyatt and the other guy with long hair I’ve seen in here.
Being around men will take some time to get used to after everything I’ve been through.
I sit myself in one of the stools and take off my jacket. The temperature in here is so soothing and warm that I no longer need my jacket. The girl’s eyes widen when she sees my round belly, but she instantly offers me another smile.
“Hi, I’m Camila. Is there anything I could get you?” she asks with such a sincere smile I want to cry. Stupid hormones. I’m not used to people being nice to me.
“Uh. No, thank you.” I don’t really have money to spend on a drink even though I would die for a doughnut. It’s hard when you have cravings and you can’t satisfy them because you have no money, but all I really care about is being safe. That’s what matters to me.
“Is the owner around? Wyatt, I believe is his name?” I look around, unsure if I should be here, but then my stomach growls and I know I have to do this. For my baby.
“Yes, he is. He went to grab some inventory from the back but should be out any moment.” I nod and thank her. I hope he doesn’t take long enough for me to chicken out.
“Would you like something to drink while you wait?”
She’s trying really hard not to stare at my belly, which I appreciate. I hate the attention. I shake my head no, knowing I wouldn’t be able to pay for it and I would like to be in good graces with Wyatt.
After a few minutes, a thud hits the floor, and I look over to where it came from and see Wyatt staring at me like I’m a fragment of his imagination. I want to smile at his reaction, but I try to conceal it. He scrambles to pick up the box he dropped and goes to set it on the back counter.
He comes over to me without Camila telling him I was here for him, and butterflies erupt inside my stomach by just looking at him. Under this lighting, I can see him closer. His glasses give him a nerdy look, but the tattoo sleeve on his arm makes him look like a bad boy. Warmth spreads throughout my body as I continue staring at him. He’s beautiful and everything that embodies art.
“You came inside. Finally.” He chuckles, and I can’t help but just sit there.
I stare into his warm brown eyes, and I realize that his poetry eyes are also the color of coffee. “Yeah. I did. It’s beautiful in here.” He smiles proudly, and I feel light inside knowing I complimented his art.
I decide to just go for it. “I was wondering if you were looking to hire someone else. I just came into town, and I really need a job.” I grab my belly protectively and his eyes go to the gesture. Just like Camila, his eyes widen, but they soften with warmth.
Without thought, he looks me in the eyes. “Yes, you’re hired.”
I laugh softly. “Just like that? You’re not going to ask me anything?”
“I really need the help. Camila leaves for college three times a week during rush hour and it always kills me and James. You can help out those days and evenings. I do have a question, though.” I nod, waiting for it.
He looks over my face before meeting my eyes again. “How old are you?”
The question shouldn’t throw me off, but it does because I’m sure he’s asking because of the baby. I’m eighteen, but I know that he won’t be okay having a high school dropout work here for some reason.
“I just turned eighteen.” He stares at me before giving me a soft nod. “I’m Mae, by the way, but I think you already knew that.”
He chuckles. “I do. Welcome to Poetry Café, Mae.” I sigh in relief knowing my baby will have their next meal because of this beautiful brown-eyed soul.