Rhett by Margaret McHeyzer

 

 

 

Dani hasn’t been at work for the past two days. She’s not returning my calls, and I have no fucking idea where she can be.

I’ve barely slept since she left me. I’ve been driving between Elle’s Café and The Narrow Table, hoping to catch her there. But no one seems to know where she is, although, I suspect Elle knows because of her hard stares and short responses to me.

Today, I’m on my twenty-four hours on at work, and I’m barely able to think.

“Drills!” Dean calls from beside the fire truck.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Pen asks as I somberly drag my feet to head out to the drill tower. “Are you sick?”

“Nothing,” I reply curtly.

“Have you and Dani had a fight?” she pushes.

“I said nothing,” I snap at Pen.

“Hey, don’t be a fucktard, alright?” She pushes her hand into my shoulder. “What the hell is going on? You look like shit, you’re moping around, and you’re snapping. What the fuck, dude?”

I lower my head and rub at the back of my neck. “I’m sorry,” I say as I lift my chin to look at her. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “Dani and I are going through a rough patch, that’s all. We’ll figure it out.”

Pen hugs me. “I’m sure everything will work out. Jesus, you’re still in the honeymoon period,” she replies in a soft voice. “I got your back, brother.” If only she knew how I acted, I don’t think Pen would be happy with me.

“Drills!” Dean yells angrily toward Pen and me. Pen jogs ahead, and Dean stops me. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just didn’t sleep well last night.” Or the night before, because I’m a fucking idiot who’s lost the best thing that ever happened to me.

“Get your shit together, Rhett. You’re no use to us if we can’t rely on you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I hold my hands up in resignation that I have indeed been a dick at work.

Dean starts the drill, and I’m lagging behind in every aspect. I’m the last to get my turnout gear on, I’m the last to run the lines from the truck, and I’m the last in the direction we’re supposed to be going. The final straw is when Dean calls mayday, tells us to evacuate, and I turn the line to the right instead of the left. If this was a real-life scenario, I would’ve killed members of my crew.

Pen and Hugo are talking as they strip out of their turnout gear, while my every thought is consumed with Dani. Dean and Alec don’t say anything to me. I spend the entire shift trying to call Dani, but it just rings out. She’s not responding to calls, messages, social media, nothing.

This shift can’t finish quick enough. I’ll drive the streets trying to find her. I’ll knock on every door, until I know where she is. Her old neighbors at the trailer park haven’t seen her, but I’ll go there again when I finish work to check in case she’s returned.

“Rhett, outside,” Dean says with a jerk of his head to the side.

I look up to see that day is just breaking, which means this shift is close to over. I’m too scared to shove my phone in my pocket in case Dani calls and she needs me. With my phone in my hand, I follow Dean outside. “What?”

Dean stands tall, his shoulders back, and his arms crossed over in front of his chest. “What’s going on?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

“Nothing,” I repeat.

“What the fuck is going on? You look like shit, you fucked up in the drill today. What the fuck was that? Where’s your head at?” he probes with frustration. I don’t say anything. “I don’t trust you’d have my back if something happens. Do I need to caution you?”

“Do whatever the fuck you want!” I spit at him. “I don’t give a fucking shit.” I turn my back on Dean, and head toward the sidewalk.

“Get your ass back here, Rhett.”

“Fuck off!” I stick my middle finger up at him.

“Get your damn ass back here!” he shouts.

Angry, I march up to him, and take a swing. He steps back, and counters with a fist that makes contact with my jaw. “Fuck you!”

“What the hell is happening?” Alec asks as he catches the tail end of this.

My hands are in such tight fists, that my forearms are screaming with distress. My jaw is clenched together, and my body is buzzing from sheer fury. I come at Dean again, needing to fucking smack his stupid smug face. Alec jumps in the middle, holding me at arm’s length away from both him, and Dean. “Let me go!” I shout.

“Calm the fuck down,” Alec says, creating a barrier with his body.

“Fuck you! And fuck you!” I point to Dean, then Alec.

Dean looks behind us to see Pen and Hugo are now out here, watching what’s happening. Pen’s hand is up on her chest, while she’s staring at me losing my fucking mind. “Get back inside,” Dean says to them both. “Clean the kitchen.”

I back away from them, and begin pacing with agitation. I keep walking back and forth, anger streaming through me. I need to hit something, pummel my fists into something until my knuckles bleed.

Dean and Alec stand shoulder to shoulder watching me. “What?” I throw my arms up in irritation. “What?”

“When you calm down, we’ll talk. None of us are going anywhere until you pull your head out of your ass, and tell us what the hell has gotten into you,” Dean says.

“I got nowhere to be,” Alec adds.

“You can both go fuck yourselves.” I point to them both.

“You want the next shift to get a front row to this? Fine by me,” Dean says as he stands his ground.

I stop pacing, and throw my hands up in the air. Looking up at the sky, I notice one lonely little cloud hovering around. “Dani left me,” I finally admit.

“What? Why? What happened?” Dean asks as he and Alec walk over to me.

I’m on the verge of losing any control I have. I turn my head, not wanting them to see my tearing up. We hear a car door close, and I instantly search for Dani. It’s not her, it’s the crew starting to arrive for the next shift. “Where are your house and car keys?” Alec asks.

A knot sits at the base of my throat, making it hard for me to talk. “In my locker in my backpack,” I finally manage to say.

“Wait here.”

Alec runs inside, leaving Dean and me out in front of the station. Dean talks to the other crew as they slowly arrive and I take myself out of the equation, choosing not to talk to anyone. I’m not in the right headspace to have a conversation.

Alec returns with my backpack, and hands it to me. “We’ll be at your house soon,” he says.

Taking my bag, I give Alec a nod and leave.

Dean walks over to my fridge and grabs three beers. He returns to where Alec and I are sitting outside in the backyard, and sits beside me. He hands me a beer, then hands one to Alec. We crank them open, and take a drink.

“What happened?” Alec asks.

“Dani left me.”

“When?”

“Two days ago.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I see Dean and Alec look at each-other. “Are you going to tell us why? Or are you going to keep giving us short answers?” Dean asks.

I take a long drink, finishing the beer before I try and tell my brothers what I did. “I fucked up,” I admit. “Well and truly fucked up, and now she’s gone.”

“Did you cheat on her?” Alec asks.

“What? No. I didn’t cheat on her. I fucking love her.”

“Did she cheat on you?” Dean tries to piece together why Dani left.

“No, she didn’t.”

“For fuck’s sake, Rhett. What the hell is going on?” Alec asks, losing patience with me and my lack of information.

“She’s pregnant,” I finally admit. “And it’s mine, and I was a complete cunt to her.”

Dean rolls his eyes, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Alec’s eyes widen and he heavily sighs. “What the fuck, man,” Alec whispers. “Pregnant? Like pregnant pregnant?” He sketches a half circle on his stomach with his finger.

“Didn’t you use protection?” Dean asks.

“Of course we did. But apparently, condoms are only like eighty-five percent reliable, or some shit like that.”

The three of us sit in silence for a few moments before Alec asks, “What happened for her to walk out? I don’t get it, I mean, okay, you’ve been together for a hot minute, but, why did she leave?”

“Because I accused her of cheating on me, and trying to trap me so I’d support another man’s child.”

“You fucking idiot,” Alec says as he stares at me. “What the hell did you do that for? Why, Rhett, fucking why?” He stands and comes at me.

Dean jumps to his feet, standing between us. “Calm down, Alec. Let’s just take a breath and try to figure this shit out,” Dean says.

“How the fuck are you so calm about this? Doesn’t it piss you the fuck off?” Alec asks Dean. “Because I’m about a second away from punching this dickhead in the mouth.” Alec points to me, but backs away.

“I fucked up,” I say as I run my hands over my head and look down at the ground.

“Damn straight you fucked up,” Alec slings.

“Alec,” Dean scolds. “Calm down, or fuck off and go home. Right now, we need to try and figure this out.”

“You of all people should be the angriest,” Alec says to Dean.

“What good will come out of me being angry? What good is it doing you, or him?” Dean intentionally looks over his shoulder to me.

Alec backs away, and sits again. Though he’s staring at me like he wants to kill me. “I don’t blame you,” I say to Alec. “I deserve it.”

“Hell yeah you do!” Alec takes in a loud breath. “But, Dean’s right. No good will come of this if we don’t sort it out.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I honestly admit.

“Have you talked to her since she walked out?” Dean asks, remaining the most level-headed out all of us.

“She won’t answer any of my calls, or messages. She’s blocked me on social media. I can’t get through to talk to her.” I feel myself breaking. “I don’t even know where she is.” I look away from my brothers, because I don’t want them to see me crying. “I’ve fucked up,” I repeat.

“Yeah, you have,” Dean replies honestly. “Do you love her?”

“I can’t fucking breathe without her.”

Alec rolls his eyes and releases a long sigh. “Well, fuck.” His nostrils flare as he shakes his head.

“Then you need to get her back. You don’t know where she’s staying?” Dean asks. I shake my head. “You went to the trailer park where she was living?” I nod. “And?”

“They haven’t seen her. I went to the café, they said she’s been sick. I went to the restaurant, they said she asked for a few days off.” I stand and pace back and forth. “It’s killing me. I said things I didn’t even mean. I just reacted. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“Dani probably feels abandoned by you. Which will stir up all sorts of old trauma caused by her fucked-up parents,” Dean says. “But I’m telling you this, right now. Even if she doesn’t want anything to do with you ever again, you’re not abandoning my niece or nephew. Because, brother, if you do, then you and I have a huge problem. You hear me?” Dean warns.

“I just want her back, Dean.”

“Are you ready for a baby?” Alec asks.

I step back and avoid looking at my brothers. “I don’t know. What I’m not ready for is losing Dani,” I answer as honestly as I can. “A baby? I never thought of being a father.” A sudden realization smacks me in the face. “I’m going to be a father,” I say softly as my skin flushes with a blanket of ice.

“Yeah, you are,” Alec agrees.

“Unless Dani decides she can’t do it on her own, and she either terminates or puts the baby up for adoption,” Dean says, throwing my mind into sudden turmoil. My gut roils with sickening and heavy torment.

Alec and I stare at Dean. “What?” I whisper, unable to comprehend either of those choices. “She can’t.”

“She can, because it’s her right. And if she thinks you’re not going to support her, then she may be forced into either one of those decisions.”

“I’ll support her,” I say with fierceness. “I don’t want Dani to do anything alone. I’ll be with her.”

“In all honesty, do you really think she cheated on you?” Alec asks.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that she didn’t.”

“Then why did you say it?” Alec’s calmed quite a lot. But I deserve his wrath.

“I panicked, and I was shocked. It’s no excuse though. The moment I said it, I regretted it. I wish I could go back and change my reaction. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling.”

“That’s not hard. Abandoned is how she’s feeling.” Dean’s answer hits me hard in the chest. “And likely, she’s petrified. Anyway, where could she be?”

I slowly lift my shoulders. “Think, Rhett, where would she be?” Alec asks with urgency.

“She’s not at the trailer park.”

“We’ve already established this. Look, I’ll call her. But I’m not doing this for you, Rhett, I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do.” Dean points to me. He stands, and walks away so I can’t hear his conversation in case she answers his call. I watch as he walks back and forth, his mouth isn’t moving, which means she’s not answering his call either. He returns and shakes his head. “She’s not answering.”

“Can you call Michael?” I ask.

“Rhett...” Dean huffs. “I can’t ask the police to help us on this. It’s crossing the line. We can’t do that.” Dean narrows his brows while he thinks.

Alec’s quiet, trying to figure something out too.

“When the parents’ retreat burnt down at the B&B, Joanne and Thomas were living over at May’s in Hope River. She has a stable that’s been converted into a small studio apartment. Last I heard no one was living there. Joanne and Thomas were the last tenants. Considering Dani works in Hope River, she probably knows May. It’s worth a try,” Dean says.

“I know where she lives.” I stand, and start making my way inside.

“Where are you going?” Dean calls as he and Alec both follow behind me.

“To May’s house.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere in the state you are. When did you last sleep?” Alec asks.

“I’m fine,” I argue. “We do this all the time.”

“Listen, go have a few hours of sleep, take a shower before you go out there. You really want to try to win her back when you’re like this?” Dean sweeps his hand over me.

I take a moment to think, but my head is fuzzy, and I know I’m running on pure adrenaline, nothing else. “You’re right. I’ll go have a shower and go to sleep. I’ll head out there later.” My body is fighting to stay awake. My eyes are stinging, and yawn after yawn escapes my mouth.

“We’ll head off home.” Dean claps his hand to my back. “Don’t be an asshole if she is there.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Alec echoes. “Get her back.”

“I’ll try.”

“Trying is expecting failure. Don’t fucking try, get her back,” Alec says. Both Dean and Alec walk toward the front door, leaving me to catch a few hours’ sleep.

I lock the front door behind them, and make a beeline for the shower.

Even from the top of the long dirt driveway, I can see Dani’s car is here. Relief instantly washes over me, and I let out a deep sigh. “Thank fuck,” I say as I park next to Dani’s car.

I run my hands down the front of my jeans before exiting the car. I grab the bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat, and get out. There are a few chickens strutting around, pecking at the ground. On the right-hand side, there’s a vegetable garden rich with produce. I start walking toward the house, but a stable on the left side catches my attention. I change direction, hoping to find Dani there so we can talk about us and the baby.

“Ah, I was wondering how long it would take you to find her,” May calls as she walks out of the vegetable garden using a cane. “Come help me.”

I look over toward the stable, then head over to May to help her. “Is Dani here?” I ask already knowing the answer.

“That depends.” She glances at the flowers, then back to me. “Grab that will you?” She indicates a good-sized pumpkin. I reach down and grab it with my free hand then follow May up to her veranda. “That brother of yours came here once too. He was in love with his woman, but didn’t know it yet.”

“Dean? He told me Joanne and Thomas lived here for a while.”

“Yep, they did.” She sits on her chair, and waits for me. “Do me a favor, put that inside on the kitchen counter, and grab two glasses and the pitcher of lemon iced tea from the fridge.” She huffs and looks out over the land. I get the feeling that she’s not going to let me anywhere near Dani. “You can leave the flowers here, young man.”

“Rhett,” I correct.

She gives me a blunt icy stare. “I know your name.”

Shit. “Sorry,” I murmur.

“I’m not getting younger. Off you go. Flowers here, pumpkin inside, two glasses and iced tea from the fridge,” she commands.

Wow, she’s one pushy old lady. I lay the flowers on the table beside her, and take the pumpkin inside. I’ve never been in her house, so trying to find the glasses feels like an invasion of her privacy. But I do find them, and grab the pitcher of iced tea from the fridge and make my way out the back door again. “Here you go.” I place the glasses down, pour one for May, then one for me.

“So, you were a dick to Dani.”

My shoulders droop down as I groan. “Yes, I was.”

“Accusing her of cheating on you? That was a really crappy thing to do.”

“I know.” Why am I having this conversation with May? It’s really none of her business.

“Dani’s hurt.”

“I know,” I repeat feeling more and more like I really don’t deserve Dani.

“Do you want her to abort the baby?”

“God no! No, no! That’s not what I want.”

“What if Dani wants that?”

My gaze drops to my shoes as I shake my head. “I want Dani to be happy,” is the best I can muster. “If she thinks the best thing to do is to abort, then...” I slowly raise my shoulders. “I can’t lie to you and tell you I’ll be happy about it. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it.”

“What if she wants to keep the baby?”

I smile brightly. “I want us to be a family,” I answer honestly. “I love her, and the way I treated her was repulsive. I have no excuse for what I said or how I acted. I just need her to hear me apologize.”

“Patrick would’ve been so horrified if he was still alive,” May says of my father.

I turn to look at her. “Did you know Dad?”

“Oh, yes. He and Elise were so beautiful together. They’d look at each other like they were the only people in the world. Such a shame when he passed away; he was a good, good man.” I smile proudly. Yes, he was. “But this behavior, he wouldn’t have tolerated it from his son.”

“I know,” I say. “I’m ashamed of myself. I shouldn’t have overreacted.”

“You think?” May’s pitch increases. “Dani’s had enough disappointment in her life. She doesn’t need you to remind her how the people she loves keep abandoning her.”

Fuck me. May’s words hit my chest hard. “I’ve been an idiot.”

“Yep.”

“I can’t live a moment more without her.”

“Ah, you should’ve thought of that when you were accusing her of cheating on you.”

“I know,” I say as I drop my head into my hands. “I know. I’ll spend a lifetime making it up to her. I just need to talk to her.”

“I tell you what, young man. These flowers are nice, but is this the extent of your apology? Flowers die.” I look toward the flowers, and feel completely defeated. “I can’t let you see her.”

“What? Why? I have to see her and talk to her.”

“She’s not here.”

“But her car is here.” I point to it.

“She took my car,” May says, not missing a beat. “I needed her to go into town and get me some medication. You might catch her in Hope River. Or you may not.” She shrugs.

“Hope River?” I ask. She nods. “The pharmacy?” She nods again. “Thank you.” I jump to my feet, and run toward my car. Like a man possessed, I drive to Hope River, and park my car outside of Elle’s Café. I look inside in case Dani’s there, but don’t see her. Hope River’s main street is quite literally one strip. It has a small convenience store, a library, a massive clock tower, a hardware store, Elle’s Café, and a range of other small locally-owned and run stores, including the pharmacy.

As I walk toward the pharmacy, Dani’s walking out. She’s looking down at something in her hands, but quickly looks up to see me walking toward her. Her shoulders tense as she tries to avoid me.

“Dani!” I call as I jog to catch up to her.

“You’ve said enough, Rhett. You don’t need to say anything else.”

“I’m sorry,” I blurt. Dani keeps walking, ignoring me. “Please, I’m sorry.” She shakes her head and lifts her hand to stop me from talking. “Can we grab a coffee or something, please?” I beg as she’s walking away from me.

“Go away, Rhett,” she slings at me as she tries to speed up.

“No, I’m not going anywhere. We need to talk about this.”

She stops walking, swings around, and pokes me hard in the chest. “Talk? You had your chance when I told you I was pregnant with your baby, and you went on to accuse me of cheating on you and trying to trap you into raising another man’s baby. You wanna talk? I think you’ve said enough.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

“Don’t try to justify yourself to me. You’ve done enough damage, Rhett. Enough.”

She swings around to walk away, but I grab her by the upper arm, stopping her. “I love you,” I say trying to get her to understand.

“Really? You love me? No, what you love is fucking me, but the moment things become difficult, you accuse me of cheating on you! That’s not love, that’s bullshit!” she screams at me.

We’re beginning to amass a small audience, and I’m feeling like all eyes are on me. “Can we please go somewhere private and talk about this.” I look around at the townspeople who are ready to jump in and help Dani.

Dani looks around and notices everyone watching. “Go home, Rhett.” She points to herself, then me. “We’re done.”

“Like hell we are. You’re carrying my baby. We’re nowhere near done.”

She protectively places her hand on her stomach. “I wouldn’t want to trap you, Rhett. So don’t worry yourself about it. This baby won’t ever know who his or her father is. I’ve been on my own for years, I can do it again,” she says calmly before spinning around to disappear into May’s car and leave.

My entire body freezes in defeat. Dani is completely prepared to do this on her own. I’m not even going to know my own child.

Like fucking hell, I’m going to be part of their lives one way or another.