Raging Fires by Candace Camp

Chapter Eleven

A cannon went off, yanking Jake out of sleep into a world of pain. His head was at least twice its normal size, and it felt like someone had been player soccer with his brain. He opened one eye a slit to see a large form looming in the doorway. “Grng,” he greeted his grandmother and shut his eye again.

She marched across the room and pulled the blinds up. A supernova exploded into the room, shooting right through his closed eyes and burying itself in his brain. He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head. “Christ, Gran. . .”

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” Nina Kent said crisply and came to his side. “What are you doing here?” she boomed out. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Jakey, what is the matter with you?”

“I have a hangover the size of Alaska,” he grumbled. “And I thought we weren’t supposed to take the Lord’s name in vain.”

“I didn’t take it in vain. I was calling on the Holy Family to give me the patience to put up with you. The last time I saw you, you and Kelli were pretending to dance while you were making out.”

“We weren’t making out.”

“Ha! What do you call wrapping yourself around her like a blanket and kissing her?” She snatched his pillow away and tossed it to the other end of the bed.

“How do you know this stuff?” There, she’d suckered him into conversation. How did she always do this?

“I have my spies everywhere. Tiny told me.” She paused, then said in a thoughtful voice, “What do you think they call Tiny’s father? Big Tiny?”

“No, then they’d have to call your spy Little Tiny. Ten bucks his dad’s named Earl.”

“Nah. Has to be something like Mad Dog.”

“Tiny’s Earl Jr, and that’s why they had to call—” Jake groaned. “No. I am not going down the rabbit hole with you. Gran... please go away and let me suffer in peace.” Why had he stayed at the Blue drinking with Asa and Kowalski last night, wallowing in self-pity and beer?

“Don’t be a wuss. It’s after ten. Time to get up.” With that, Gran leaned over, about to yank the sheet down.

“Gran! I’m naked!” Jake scrambled to move away while holding the sheet close.

Gran snorted. “Like I don’t know what’s under there. I changed your diapers.”

“Not anytime recently,” Jake protested and wrapped the sheet around him, tying it in a bulky knot on his hip. Well, she’d succeeded in making him get out of bed. “Gran, what is going on? Why do I have to get up when I feel like a garbage truck rolled over my head?”

“You’ve got things to do.”

“No. I really don’t.”

“You have to move into the house.”

“Huh?” He responded eloquently.

“The house,” Gran said with exaggerated patience. “Behind the bar. That’s part of the requirement, remember?”

“What? No. Kelli’s going to live there. We’ll be in possession of it the whole year.”

“You both have to live there.”

“Why? Who’s going to know?” Jake asked. Gran crossed her arms and regarded him blandly. “Wait. Oh, my God, it’s you, isn’t it? You’ll report me to the lawyer. Seriously, Gran, how twisted is that? You’re going to snitch on your own grandson. It’s unnatural.”

“Jakey, you know I never let you get away with anything. Remember that time when you were six and you picked up a Twix and put it in your pocket? I made you go right back in and give it to the clerk and apologize.”

“We’re not talking about a candy bar,” Jake shouted, then winced as his head reverberated with the sound.

“No, we’re talking about your life, and that’s a lot more important. You and that girl belong together; I saw—”

Jake groaned, “Gran... please don’t start in on how you have the Sight.”

“I don’t have the Sight. That’s my sister Lucy. She may be blind as a bat, but she can see what’s inside.” She tapped her temple. “And don’t try to pull me off the subject. What I was trying to say is, I saw you and Kelli together for five years. I’ve never seen any couple that belonged together more. And the only people who don’t recognize that are you two.”

He sighed. “Look, I know you and Pops love Kelli. You took her side in the divorce.”

“Her side?” Gran’s voice was indignant. “We didn’t take sides. David and I didn’t want the divorce to happen at all.”

“Yeah, okay. I understand that. You’re as Catholic as they come, but—”

“It’s got nothing to do with church,” Gran told him. “It’s because you two are in love and are miserable without each other, and you’ll be miserable and bitter the rest of your life if you don’t get back together.”

“Thanks for giving me that vision of my future.”

“Of course I believe Kelli’s your wife and will be until one of you dies, but I’d never ask you to stay with someone who made you unhappy. I’d just do like I do with your mother and pray for you.” She crossed her arms and stared him down.

“Okay. Okay.” Jake drew in a calming breath. “Whatever you’re doing this for, it’s not going to work. If Kelli and I have to live in the same house, we’ll argue all the time. I’ll say something that’ll make her get all snarky.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I never know. It’s what we do. She hates me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Gran, she walked out on me. She just left.”

“And you didn’t do a thing to stop her.” Gran wagged her finger in his face.

“What was I supposed to do?  I couldn’t force her to stay. I couldn’t make her feel what she didn’t feel—ah, hell, this conversation is pointless.” He shoved both hands back into his hair. “Is there any coffee? That and four ibuprofen might enable me to live.”

“Of course there’s coffee. And pancakes, too.”

“Did you tell Kelli about this?”

“No. I’ll leave that up to you.”

“Great,” Jake groaned. “Okay. Well, if you’ll leave and let me take a shower and get dressed, I’ll go see Kelli.”

So an hour later, his still painful eyes sheltered by the darkest shades he had, the nausea vanquished by a half-gallon of maple syrup, and his head no longer feeling like it might fall off, Jake drove over to the bar. He pulled into the back lot and parked. Kelly was standing outside, a ball cap on her head and her ponytail hanging out the gap in the back, watching four beefy guys and one slender one carry boxes into the little house across the parking lot from the Blue Shack.

The house had been on the lot when Pops bought it, and he and Gran had lived in it when the bar was first open and money was tight. They later moved to a bigger house and rented the place out to tenants, most of whom left when the lease was up, not enjoying the sound of car doors slamming and engines starting up as customers pulled out of the back lot every night at two o’clock.

As far as Jake knew, it had been used mostly for extra storage for the past few years. Gran had told him that Kelli was having it repaired, but he couldn’t see much sign of that from the outside except for obviously new posts holding up the small porch roof. It still looked weather-beaten and in need of a paint job.

A rental truck stood close to the house, and beside it were a cluster of Harleys and a shiny green and white Vespa. Jake walked across the lot to Kelli. He knew she had to have heard him, but she didn’t turn to look at him. He stopped beside her.

“Let me guess. The Vespa belongs to the skinny dude with the man-bun, right?”

Kelli’s mouth twitched, but she didn’t quite smile. “Yes. Tyler volunteered to help me move.”

“Tyler, huh?” Jake watched the man struggle to pull a box from the van and stagger with it up to the porch. He ran into a wide man coming out the door, and Tyler reeled back. The other person grabbed the box from him before he could drop it.

“Watch it, man. You’re going to break something.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” Tyler assured him.

“I meant the stuff you’re carrying.”

“Hey, Tiny.” Jake waved his hand.

“Hey, man.” Tiny lifted his chin at Jake and carried the box into the house.

Tyler turned and hustled over to Kelli. He was wearing a tan t-shirt picturing a big snake on the front, along with the slogan Save the Snake. Who would wear a shirt that said Save the Snake? This guy, apparently. Was it a particular snake? A pet snake? A movie? Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, the old wrestler? He had so many questions.

“I think we’re just about done here, Kell,” Man-bun said.

Why was this guy calling her Kell? That was his. Jake bared his teeth in a smile and held out his hand, “Hi. I’m Jake. Kelli’s husband.”

The other man looked taken aback, but reached out a little tentatively to shake his hand. “Ah, yes, the fake one.”

“No, I’m pretty real,” Jake replied and curled his arm about Kelli’s shoulder. She shrugged it off.

Tyler gave a little chuckle that actually was fake. “Ha, yes, of course. Well, um, I’ll be taking off. I’d stay and hang out, but it’s a little early to throw back a brewsky with the boys.”

Jake gave Kelli a small poke in the back. She refused to look at Jake, keeping her gaze firmly on Tyler. Jake had always admired her ability to keep a straight face.

He nodded toward the image on Tyler’s chest. “What’s up with your shirt? Save the Snake?” He winced when Kelli pinched him in the side. “Ow.”

“Oh, yes, the ridgenosed rattlesnake. It’s an endangered species,” Tyler said.

“I can see why you’d want to save that.”

Tyler began to gush about the snake and where it lived, which, thank God, was not Phoenix. “It’s a very elegant snake, with that long ridge along its head. Hence the name.”

“Mm, right.” Jake was beginning to understand why Kelli had pinched him.

The guy kept on talking about the stupid snake until Jake was thinking about picking him up and putting him on that Vespa, but finally Tyler shut up.

Kelli hastily said, “Well, thanks again, Tyler.”

“I can come back tomorrow to paint those posts.” The man gestured toward the porch. “And that step still squeaks a little. Maybe I should pull out the nails and—”

“No, no, that’s fine,” Kelli said hastily. “It’s all good. Really. You’ve done so much already. I couldn’t ask you to do more.”

“Oh, I was happy to help you out. Anytime. Just call me. I’m pretty busy, but I can always find the time to help you, Kell.”

“Thanks.” Kelli grinned brightly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Tyler nodded again and left, waving at her when he reached his Vespa. Settling a white helmet on his head, Tyler put-putted off.

“Where did you find him?” Jake asked.

“He’s one of the bar’s patrons.”

“That guy thinks he’s a biker? On a Vespa?” Jake began to laugh.

Kelli nodded. “It’s kinda embarrassing, but he’s a very nice man.”

“Good thing the Blue is a ‘safe zone.’”

“Yeah. So far, at least, no one’s punched him.”

“Give ‘em time. I felt like punching him when he wouldn’t shut up about that snake.”

“You’re the one who started it.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t figure out what Save the Snake meant. I thought maybe it was something dirty. Or the name of a band. I didn’t know he was going to ramble on for half an hour about poisonous reptiles.”

“That’s why I pinched you,” Kelli shot back.

“Too late. I’d already asked the question. Anyway, I figured you were just pissed off at me about something. I didn’t know you did it because he was boring.”

“I was pissed off at you. For asking the question.”

“The guy has it bad for you,” Jake said.

“He does not.”

Jake snorted. “Get serious. ‘I can paint your posts,’” he mimicked in a falsetto voice. “Come to think of it, that sounds kind of dirty, too.”

“Oh, please. Everything sounds dirty to you.”

“And how come he thinks he can call you Kell?” Jake continued.

“Um, because it’s my name?” Kelli pulled her sunglasses down her nose a little to send him a ‘duh’ look.

“Kelli is your name. Kell’s different. It implies intimacy.”

“Good grief. Now you’re going to act jealous? You don’t have the right to be jealous.”

Jake pointed to the diamond solitaire on her left hand.

Kelli twisted the ring around until the diamond was hidden. “We’re not really married.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “About that. . .”