Raging Fires by Candace Camp

Chapter Nineteen

The dog—who was so named Toby—was still there the next morning when Jake got up. Jake could hear him whining and snuffling at the bottom of the front door. Jake went into the kitchen and pulled the salmon out of the fridge and went out to toss it on the plate Kelli had left.

The minute Jake opened the door, Toby, of course, went nuts, jumping and whirling. Jake set the salmon on the plate and watched the dog scarf it down. He was even uglier in the light of day. Definitely a Toby.

Jake went back inside and dressed quickly. He didn’t think he could take making breakfast with Kelli today after thinking all night about how she looked in those shorts and tank top. He’d grab a couple of breakfast burritos and get in some practice throws before the usual workout. After that he could stop by the store and get some more ground beef for tonight, and by the time he got home, Kelli would have gone to work.

No amount of workouts, with or without practice throws and running the stadium steps, could get rid of his lust altogether, but at least they took the edge off it. By the time he finished his sets and headed home again, he was in a better frame of mind. Or at least a more tired one.

He got his hamburger meat. Kelli had always been after him to eat more healthily when they were together. You’d think she’d balk at giving her new pet the cholesterol-filled, heart-clogging ‘crap’ he ate.   And he better pick up some dog food so Kelli wouldn’t decide to give the dog his dinner again. Which meant he needed to get a bowl for it, no, two because of the water. Standing there in the pet supply aisle, he was tempted to get one of those big rawhide bones, too. But that was just stupid. Kelli would think he wanted to keep the mangy mutt.

The dog was gone from the porch when he got home, which surprised him a little. Maybe he’d been wrong and the stray had taken to the streets again. Then he glanced across the parking lot and saw Toby lying in the shade of the bar wall. Jake couldn’t help but smile faintly. The dog was no dummy; he wasn’t going to let Kelli get away from him.

Unlike some idiot humans. Jake scowled. It wasn’t like he’d let her get away from him. She’d taken off, and there was no chance he could have ever convinced her to come back. Yeah, Pops had called and told Jake he should fly back and grovel or whatever it took. Which just showed Pops didn’t know Kelli as well as he thought he did. When Kelli made up her mind, that was it. She didn’t want to be with him, and he couldn’t make her.

And why would he want a woman that didn’t want to be with him anyway? She’d just leave again, and his groveling would have been for nothing—and why should he have to apologize anyway? Because he wasn’t exactly the same as he’d been in college? Because he didn’t fit her vision of what he should be? Okay, so, yeah, he’d acted like a d-bag a few times, but what happened to ‘for better, for worse’ and all that? He’d eventually figured it out and stopped being stupid, but she hadn’t given him a chance to do that—she’d just left.

And all the really crazy, stupid stuff he’d done happened after she left him. So maybe he hadn’t been nice before that, but he’d still been performing okay, doing his job. Late a few times and missing that plane, but on the field he’d been fine. He hadn’t gone around blowing up at teammates or drinking way too much or even throwing money around like a complete idiot until Kelli walked out on him.

Jake went to the fridge and cracked open a bottle of water. He’d already downed a sports drink at the team’s facilities. See? He had a health regimen of his own. No need for Kelli to shove Neil Moran’s diet down his throat. Like it was her job to take care of him. Kelli had made it very clear that they wouldn’t be going back to old patterns. And her salmon gambit had been more that than anything he’d done so far. Not that he hadn’t been thinking about their old patterns non-stop. Especially the ones that had involved their bed. And the shower. And the kitchen counter. And the floor. Jake glugged down his water and flopped onto the couch. His legs were still feeling a little rubbery.

It didn’t matter whether he should have tried to get her back. That was four years ago, and things had changed. Her. Him. They’d gotten married too young, hadn’t dated enough other people to know what they really wanted. High school dates didn’t count. He had only had one year of college to explore his options before he zeroed in on Kelli. He hadn’t played the field enough.

He’d been young and full of hormones, and all he’d focused on was how great the sex was between them. He started getting hard just thinking about it. That was the entire problem now, too. Being around Kelli was making him horny all the time. He knew what sex was like with her, and he knew that he hadn’t found a woman since who could compare to her. It was only natural that he was getting all stirred up.

But that didn’t mean he wanted Kelli back. He didn’t. She was annoying with all her rules, and she did stuff like latching onto that dog. She was a born pushover for losers—he wasn’t going to think about what that said about him. 

Sure, he liked to hear her laugh, and she was nice to look at. She had a good sense of humor and she was kind, at least to other people. It was fun to tease her and see her fire up, and he enjoyed her sarcastic comebacks.

But that wasn’t the same as loving someone. Especially when that someone didn’t love you. He wasn’t about to get tangled up with her again. Sex without emotion would work with some women, but he couldn’t see that with Kelli.

He propped his feet up and started flipping through the sports channels. It was boring here after he got home from his workouts. He was getting pretty sick of studying that playbook. Maybe he would call Asa and see if he wanted to come over for burgers tonight.

But before he picked up his phone, he heard the door open behind him and Kelli saying, “No, you stay out here, boy.”

Jake turned to look at her.  Kelli was frowning a little, but he didn’t think she was doing it at him. It was more like… she was troubled.

“Kell?” He switched off the tv and stood up. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“I—I’m not sure.” She held up an envelope, flapping it a little. “I got a letter today. From my mother.”

“Oh. Damn.”