Twisted Fate by Summer Cooper

9

Keily

“Ican’t believe this car,” Keily mumbled to herself as she synced her phone up with the Bronco’s system. She looked at it, not for the first time, impressed with the brand-new vehicle.

There was plenty of space in the back for three car seats, room in the very back for shopping and other things babies needed, and the seats were comfortable. Everything she could ask for, even if she didn’t ask for it. She felt kind of bad about Logan shelling out so much money for her, but at the same time, she loved how easy it was to get in and out of. It was much bigger than the company car she’d been driving around in, an economical sedan, but she kind of liked that. She’d driven the Bronco a few times now and every time she felt powerful, being able to see all around and having such a powerful vehicle. She’d caught herself mumbling ‘vroom, vroom’ a few times now, as she waited at lights.

She was pregnant, she reminded herself, this was one of those times in life that she got to get away with doing things like that. It made her laugh, and she was alone, so it didn’t matter anyway. Nobody knew.

The radio played Christmas music throughout the drive to Logan’s, but she didn’t mind. He was back in her life, although what they were was as precarious and undefined as it ever was. He seemed to want more, but she was hesitant. Did he feel that he owed her something because of the babies? Would he come to resent her later?

There was a night, a night back on that vacation they’d taken in the tropical islands, where he’d let slip that his parents had only been married because his mom got pregnant with him. He’d gone on to tell her how he’d always known they resented him because of it, and that made her even more hesitant. Would he come to regret having children with her?

Not that many people would ever say those words out loud, but would he? In time, he might just walk away from all of them, and she couldn’t take that chance with her heart but especially with her babies.

Logan had been patient, gentle, and had even asked to cradle her bump a few times already. He seemed to be enthralled with the fact that she was pregnant, loved looking at her too, even if he did look away when she caught him watching her. He was kind and thoughtful, and that was great, but they never really talked about things that were important. That was partly her fault, and she knew it.

She shied away from promises, from anything that might lead to something more than a hand on her stomach. He looked at her with so much longing sometimes, when he let her see it, and it nearly broke her. She wanted him, she always did, in her bed, in her life, but he’d walked away once already.

When she arrived at his house, Keily parked the car, got the bags out she’d brought with her, and walked into what could only be described as an explosion of Christmas. There were decorations in every room, Christmas trees in every room she walked in, and lights all over the place. It was only midday so she couldn’t see the lights outside, but she’d noted the penguins in a globe blow-up decorations, as well as Santa and his reindeer.

Logan came to answer the door and smiled as he let her in. “I’ve just checked the ham. Dinner won’t be long.”

“You’re cooking?” She asked with a dubious lift of her left eyebrow.

“I am and it’s going well. The housekeeper is with her family until after New Year’s so I’m doing the cooking and cleaning again.” He took the bags from her and walked with her into the living room to put them down. “Want to come in the kitchen with me or do you want to stay in here?”

“I’ll follow you,” Keily answered and put her coat down on the couch.

The house smelled of baking ham, sweet potatoes, and the sage and rosemary in the stuffing. Dressing, stuffing, whatever, she always called it stuffing, whether it was going into a turkey or not. She saw pies resting on the counter, along with bread rolls, and a few covered dishes. “Are more people coming?”

She looked down at herself and frowned. She was in a blanket with a hole in the top, well, that’s what it felt like. It was a dark green dress, a huge fleece dress shaped like an overly long sweatshirt, and black boots she’d struggled to put on. She’d figured out a trick with a wire coat hanger to zip things up, but she wasn’t sure even that would work this evening. She hadn’t expected to see other people today, not even Rosa or her sister, since Violet was with a doctor she’d met at work and hit it off with. Rosa was with her couple and Keily had been left to fend for herself, so she’d accepted Logan’s offer of dinner.

“No, I’m just cooking all of this because it’s the kind of dinner I’d order for myself, or have if I went to a holiday dinner. I thought I’d have a go at making it myself. It’s been a learning experience.”

“Maybe it’s best you went for ham instead of turkey in that case. I assumed the housekeeper was going to cook it or something.” She frowned at her own assumption and spoke again. “Does she cook?”

“If I’m here she will. She doesn’t want me getting too thin. She made the pies before she left, actually.” Logan waved at the pies on the counter and Keily smiled as she sat down.

“Something will be edible then.” She teased him, and he turned to her with a mock glare.

“It’s not all bad, you know. I’ve had one of the deviled eggs and it was really good. The rest might get thrown away, but those were delicious.” Logan’s glare eased into a bashful grin. “Actually, I think most of it will be alright. I’ve been following recipes I found online.”

“Hmm, can I have a glass of apple juice please?”

“Of course, but wasn’t it giving you indigestion?” He turned to get a glass from the cabinet.

“Not this week, it seems, it’s grape juice this week.” Keily sighed. “The doctor said I just have to deal with it for now and try to avoid what makes it flare up, but that’s hard to do when it changes from day to day.”

“You saw him yesterday, didn’t you? What else did he say?” Logan had wanted to go but had a video conference with his office in California that he couldn’t miss.

“Oh, not much.” She hedged, not wanting to tell him exactly what the doctor said. “The babies are fine, growing well for triplets, and I need to, uh, be careful. I may go into labor early since I’m having triplets, and I need to, um, put my feet up at night.”

“She told you to stop working, didn’t she?” Logan asked with his own lifted eyebrow as he put the juice in front of her.

It was something he’d tried to talk her into since that day at the courthouse. She didn’t want to stop working, though. Well, she did, she really did, but he’d also wanted her to move in with him until after the babies came, and that wouldn’t work at all. She’d crawl into bed with him, despite how much she felt like a whale, and try to do things she shouldn’t. It was hard to control herself when she was at home alone, if she was with him it would be impossible.

“Well.” She hedged again, not willing to meet his eyes.

“She did! Keily, you have to stop being so stubborn. Fine, you don’t want to live in the apartment, and you don’t want to move in with me, but at least stop working.”

“I can’t have you paying my bills, Logan. I can’t.” She pouted and glared at him.

She couldn’t help it, that was how she felt, like she was being bullied by her doctor and him into quitting work. So, what if her feet, legs, and back would adore it if she didn’t go into the diner ever again, but that meant dipping into her savings or taking money from him. Neither of those options were good ones as far as she was concerned.

“Please? It would be the best Christmas present you could give me.” He pleaded; his brown eyes full of sadness.

“I’ll think about it.” She paused to move, two of the babies had decided to kick her, even though she was comfortable for once. That didn’t happen often lately.

“Okay. What else is new?”

Keily smiled and told him about Violet’s new boyfriend, Alice’s new goldfish that her mommy’s new boyfriend got for her, and how Rosa was off with her couple. It wasn’t something that Rosa was trying to hide, and she’d talked about both in front of Logan a few times he’d been around her with Keily since he came back.

“I’m glad she’s happy, Rosa. Well, your sister too, but I’ve not met her yet so I can’t really be glad for her.” Logan stirred potatoes on the stove, his back to her.

“Rosa has the best of both worlds, I guess,” Keily said absently, remembering their adventures on that island again, that place he’d taken her to. Would she have time for such adventures after the babies came? she wondered. All the mommy groups online went on and on about what hell motherhood was and how you’d never have privacy again but talked about the joys of motherhood at the same time.

Those groups confused and scared Keily, so she’d not been back to any of them for a while now. She knew motherhood wasn’t going to be easy, but she couldn’t decide if most of those women were silently screaming for help or if they were reveling in each other’s misery. It didn’t seem healthy, the way they judged each other and the way they talked about their lives, so she’d just started to avoid them.

“It’s almost ready, I hope you’re hungry, today?” Logan asked and Keily looked up at him with a smile.

“Starving, as usual.” She answered and moved again, the pain a throb in her back now. “But I might need a different chair.”

“We’ll eat in the living room if you want.” He said quickly, ready to help her move if she needed it.

“That sounds good. I’m sorry, it’s just that my back is hurting.”

“Not a problem, let me help you up.”

It would be like this, she thought as he helped her up, one hand wrapped around hers, the other out to catch her if she started to fall.

He was always so willing, so ready to help her out and be there for her. She let herself lean into him once she was up and for a moment their eyes met. The gold flecks in his eyes were apparent in the sunlight streaming in through the windows and they fascinated her. They always had.

His eyes fell to her lips and hers went to his. Time stopped and she forgot to breathe. She wanted him to kiss her, wanted to feel him against her, wanted her memories and dreams to be real for once. She leaned into him and almost groaned when her belly got in the way. It was a reminder that she had too much to lose by trusting him to keep her heart in one piece, and that brought her up, away from him.

“Thanks.” She mumbled and turned to walk into the living room.

This was a mistake, but she’d known it would be. Between her body wanting to jump his bones and her heart wanting to wallow in his gaze, she was headed for a mistake she couldn’t walk away from easily.

“This is why you need to stop working, Keily.” Logan sighed as he came in with a plate full of food a little while later. He set up a table for her to eat from and put a glass of juice and her plate on it, along with her fork and knife. “You’re in so much pain, and you don’t have to be.”

She looked at the mound of food on her plate and her stomach growled. Mistake or not, she was starving, and she couldn’t turn down what smelled like very good food. Instead of answering him, she took a bite of mashed potatoes and moaned in delight.

What he’d said was true, she was in a lot of pain, so maybe she would give the job up, for now. She hated her boss but liked her coworkers. She’d hate not working with them, but her boss was becoming more than she could deal with. He kept making comments about how big she was, complained that it put her customers off, even though her pregnancy didn’t put anyone off at all.

It seemed to make people eager to touch her and talk to her, if anything. They all wanted to feel the baby kick, which she didn’t mind, but sometimes it did annoy her, especially when it was a man. Kids and old ladies she didn’t mind, grown men she shied away from if they asked. Staying home, putting her feet up, and relaxing for the next three months would be…heaven.

Logan came in and put on A Christmas Story to watch as they ate. Ralphie was flopping down the stairs in his pink Easter bunny outfit when the television came on and Keily laughed. It was tradition to watch the film, ever since she was a kid, and she laughed every year, even though she knew what was going to happen.

“I can’t wait for our kids to be old enough to watch these old favorites with us.” She said after her last bite of food. She wiped her mouth and sat back against the couch. “That was delicious.”

“Thank you and yeah, I’m looking forward to watching the kids grow up. It wasn’t something I’d really considered, I didn’t plan on having a family but, and I know this is hard to believe, I’m really looking forward to having children.” He sat back, done with his own plate now.

“Really, Logan? I have worried about it I have to admit.” She could already feel sleepiness taking over but had to ask.

“I am, for real. Maybe next week we can pick which room will be their nursery here, actually. We need to get this place ready for them, not just yours.” A shadow passed over his face, but he wiped it away.

“Yeah, that might be a good idea.” She whispered.

He meant he wanted to have them with him and there’d be times when they’d be at his house. Without her?

That hurt, but what could she say to him? She couldn’t deny him his children and if he wanted to spend time with them that was good. So why did it hurt, thinking about him with their babies without her there? And worse, why did it feel right thinking about being here with them all as a proper family?