10

Alix

Alix heard shrieks and delicious giggles as Holly tried to evade bedtime and prolong the fun until the last possible moment. She heard the rumble of Zac’s deep voice, more laughter and then light footsteps as Holly danced her way into the living room.

“Aunty Alix! Come and read to me.”

“You have Zac.”

“I want both of you.” She bounced over to Alix and stuck her arms up to be lifted. “I want the story about the baby polar bear.”

“I don’t know that one.”

“Uncle Zac will tell it to you.” Holly jiggled and wriggled, looking more awake than any child had a right to be after such a long journey.

Had they been wrong to let her sleep on the journey? Alix had no clue as to the best approach.

Zac appeared in the doorway, holding a book and a soft toy. “I lost my audience.”

“Not that I’m an expert, but isn’t bedtime supposed to be a time of quiet and calm?”

“I guess it depends. I prefer my bedtimes to be more exciting.” He gave her a wink and turned back into the bedroom without giving her a chance to respond.

“Are you okay, Aunty Alix?” Holly studied her closely. “You look pink.”

“It’s the fire. It’s making me hot.” She walked into the cozy bedroom and tucked Holly back into bed. Only now, when all three of them were crammed into it, did she realize how small it was.

Holly wriggled and rolled. “This bed is strange.”

“It’s the coziest, comfiest bed in the world.” Alix tucked the numerous soft toys around her. “I wish I was sleeping in it.”

“You could sleep in it with me. Is it Christmas tomorrow?”

“Not yet, bunny. Soon.”

“I want Christmas to come now. Will you both sleep with me tonight?” Holly snuggled down with all the toys, leaving barely any room for herself.

Alix rescued a cute mouse with a pointed nose that was dangling precariously close to the edge. “I think it looks a little crowded in there. You already have more than enough company.”

“Where will you be sleeping?”

It was a problem she had yet to address, but Zac had clearly thought it through.

“Aunty Alix will be in the bedroom, and I’ll be in the living room on the couch.”

“I want you both to sleep here with me. I’m scared.”

Alix felt a ripple of alarm. She didn’t want Holly to have bad dreams. “You’re going to be fine.”

Zac leaned forward and added another toy to the bundle already sharing the bed with Holly. “What exactly are you scared of?”

Alix felt frustrated with herself. Of course that was the question she should have asked.

Holly squeezed her polar bear tightly. “Polar bears.”

“Polar bears don’t live here.”

“Wolves.”

Zac considered. “The wolves are all busy in other places. And they’re not interested in little girls.”

“They liked Little Red Riding Hood.”

“Good point…” Zac thought about it. “But your pajamas are blue. No red in sight.”

“There might be a monster under the bed.”

Alix shook her head. “There’s no—”

“Why don’t I check?” Zac went on his knees to look. “No monster. There is nothing under this bed. You are safe.”

Alix watched him. Why hadn’t she thought of doing that?

Holly was determined to stretch out the moment. “What if I have bad dreams?”

“Then, you’ll call out to us, and we’ll come and sit with you.”

“Will you leave the door open?”

Zac stood up. “The door will be open. Now, sleep tight.”

Alix felt some of her tension drain away. He was good with the child. At least she could be confident that if there was a crisis, he’d be able to handle it.

Holly put her arms up to Alix, and she leaned in and hugged the child, breathing in shampoo and innocence and feeling the tickle of soft curls. “Good night, sweet pea.”

“I love you, Aunty Alix.”

“I…love you, too.” She stumbled over the words, conscious of Zac listening. What was wrong with her, that she even found those words difficult to say to a child? A child she really did love?

But Holly seemed satisfied with her faltering response. “You’re as beautiful as a princess and as smart as an astronaut.”

“Oh! Well, thank you. I think.”

Holly snuggled down, the reindeer tucked under her chin. “When you get married, can I be your bridesmaid?”

“I… What? I don’t— Yes! Absolutely.” Bridesmaid? Where had that come from? “There’s no one else I’d want as a bridesmaid. You’d be the best. The only one—” Oh stop babbling, Alix! “But I probably won’t get married so—”

“Why?” Holly’s eye were huge and round.

Why, why, why.Everything was why.

“Because—” Oh help! This was why she should never be left alone with a child. This was as bad as a conversation about Santa. Worse. “I am happy on my own. And that’s okay. Not everyone wants to get married, Holly. You have to meet the right person.” And you had to have strong feelings for someone, and she’d trained herself never to have strong feelings. You also had to be good at relationships, and that definitely wasn’t one of her skills.

Holly wriggled closer. “Uncle Zac isn’t married, either. You could marry him.”

Zac made a choked sound. “Now, there’s an interesting idea.”

Alix bared her teeth and focused on Holly. “Generally two people have to love each other before they get married.”

“I love Uncle Zac. Don’t you love Uncle Zac?”

Alix slumped, defeated. How did Christy handle all the awkward questions? Still, as long as Holly didn’t ask how babies were made.

“I’m sure there are many people who would consider Uncle Zac a…” A what? “A fine person.”

“A fine person?”

She looked at him. “I’m sure you have a few redeeming qualities.”

Zac raised an eyebrow. “I had no idea you had such a high opinion of me. I suggest we book the church right away.”

“Enough!” There was a limit to how far she’d let this conversation go, even to please Holly. “Time for bed, or your mummy will be upset with me for letting you stay up so late.”

“Okay.” Holly snuggled down. “I love you, Uncle Zac.”

“I love you, too.” He seemed entirely comfortable with the words.

How many women had he said them to?

She stood up quickly and tucked the covers around Holly. The answer to that question was of no interest to her. “Sleep now.”

Holly reached for Zac’s hand. “If you could marry Aunty Alix, then I could be your bridesmaid.”

Alix fled and headed for the fridge.

Wine. Robyn had definitely mentioned wine. And boy, did she need it.

She pulled out a bottle and found two glasses. Presumably Zac was in need of a drink as much as she was.

“Looks like Uncle Zac has driven Aunty Alix to drink already.” The laughter in his tone was more unsettling than anything that had gone before.

“This is why I don’t have kids. Well, one of the reasons.” She poured wine into the two glasses. “So many awkward questions. From now on, you are officially in charge of answering all awkward questions.”

“It’s pretty simple.” He took the glass from her. “You answer honestly. Kids come with a built-in lie detector.”

“I should have told her that you and I can’t stand the sight of each other?”

“You could have told her that—” he tapped his glass against hers “—but we both know it would have been a lie. And she would have known that.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Tell yourself that if you must. I understand that you’re scared.” He put the glass down and opened the fridge. “Mm. Cured salmon. Loganberries. Forgotten how much I love Sweden. I wish someone would do this for me at home. Stock my fridge full of delicious food, and all I have to do is follow the instructions.”

“You think I’m scared?”

“I know you’re scared.” He pulled out a couple of dishes. “Ready for your reindeer stew?”

She glanced toward the bedroom. “Keep your voice down. I don’t want Holly asking if we’re eating Rudolph.”

“Smart thinking.” He checked the cooking instructions and put the food on to heat. “I can guarantee this wasn’t Rudolph. This one was probably the rebel reindeer.”

“I’ve always had sympathy with rebels, so if you want me to eat it you’d better stop talking. This wine is good.”

“It is. And so is the food.” He found plates and took them to the small table that was positioned to take advantage of the lake and the forest. “And this is surely the best view you could ever have.”

“It’s beautiful. The only thing lacking is the company.”

“Come on. Admit it, you find me charming and irresistible. That’s why you’re worried.” He opened drawers until he found napkins.

“I’m worried because we’re stuck here together. Why didn’t you tell Robyn the truth?”

“Because she’d already told us they are fully booked.” He put mats and napkins on the table. “As there was no alternative option available, there seemed little point in embarrassing and stressing her.”

Alix was exasperated. “What did Christy say to make her think we’re a couple?”

He shrugged. “Maybe it was Erik’s interpretation. We men are simple folk. The nuances of relationships often evade us. If Christy said we were coming together, then assuming that means together is not an unreasonable assumption.”

It seemed unreasonable to Alix.

She watched him move around the room. “Tomorrow I’m going to tell Robyn the truth and ask if you can stay in the main lodge if a vacancy happens to arise.”

He frowned. “I don’t want to stay in the main lodge.”

“All right, then I’ll stay there.” She squashed down the disappointment. This cabin was idyllic. She happily could have moved in here forever.

“Alix.” The humor was gone from his voice. “You can’t ask for that. You heard her. The place is full. You can’t expect her to accommodate your nervous disposition.”

“I don’t have a nervous disposition. I’m picky about who I share a cabin with.”

“Are you really willing to break your promise to Christy? We’re supposed to be looking after Holly together. And that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Zac—”

“All right, enough.” He put down his wine and the napkins and walked toward her. “Enough, Alix.”

“Enough what?” She backed away until her shoulders were pressed against the wood-paneled wall.

“I’ve played along, respected your wish not to tell the truth to our friends.” He closed in on her, blocking her escape route. “But now it’s the two of us. Time for honesty.”

“Honesty about what?”

He planted his hands on the wall either side of her. “Are we really going to ignore what happened at the wedding?”

She could feel the brush of his body against hers.

“I was upset.” She hated remembering how upset. “I was protecting my friend. You were upset and protecting yours.”

“I’m not talking about that part.”

“I—I told you a lot of things about myself that I wouldn’t normally share. Because I knew you were judging me, and the whole thing was so stressful and—”

“I’m not talking about that part, either. And I wasn’t judging you.”

“You thought I was interfering.”

“It all made perfect sense when you told me about your own experience. I don’t want to talk about that.” His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I’m talking about what happened after that.”

“I have no recollection—”

He kissed her, his mouth searching, his hand drawing her head closer to his. There was strength in his fingers, but he was gentle—oh so gentle—and her pulse went into overdrive. There was no question of resisting. She kissed him back, melting against him, her hands on his chest and then his shoulders. The cabin, her surroundings, the past, her thoughts—all of it fell away, and her focus was all on the moment. This man. The heat of it. She’d tried to forget, but it seemed her body hadn’t forgotten.

He murmured something and pulled her closer, his free arm locking her against his body.

She felt hardness and muscle, white-hot urgency, and then she slid her arms round his neck, and she was kissing him, kissing him until it felt as if she’d been drugged, until she’d…

“Uncle Zac?”

It took a minute for the little voice to penetrate the thick fog of sexual excitement that engulfed both of them.

“Uncle Zac?”

Zac pulled away so suddenly that Alix was grateful to have a wall to lean on. Her legs felt shaky, and her heart was pounding.

Crap. Crap. What had just happened? It was wrong on so many levels, and it was going to complicate everything. And the first complication was staring at them both, round-eyed.

“Hi, sweetheart.” His voice was husky. He cleared his throat, shook his head to clear it and started again. “What’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“Oh that’s not good.” Pulling himself together, Zac strode across to her and scooped her up. “Do you want to tell me what the dream was about?”

“I forget.” Holly put her arms round his neck. “You were kissing Aunty Alix.”

Even Zac seemed at a loss for an answer to that one. “Well, I—”

“And Aunty Alix was kissing you back.”

What was she supposed to say? She could hardly deny it, when she and Zac had been devouring each other like animals.

Alix tried to slow her beating heart. “Holly, it wasn’t—”

“It’s okay.” She beamed at them. “Kissing someone means you love them. Now you have to get married, and I can be a bridesmaid.” The aftereffects of bad dreams apparently soothed by this happy thought, she squirmed out of Zac’s arms and took herself back to bed.

Zac ran his hand over the back of his neck, glanced briefly at Alix and then followed Holly into the bedroom.

Alix walked to the window and slumped against the glass, cooling her burning forehead on the ice-cold glass. Beyond the windows the snow was luminous, the forest glowing with an ethereal beauty. What she really needed was to go for a walk and cool off, but with her current run of luck she’d probably fall in a snowdrift and freeze to death. Or be eaten by a wolf. Or, worse, have to be rescued by Zac.

Zac.

She breathed out slowly, her breath forming a cloud on the window.

What if Holly said something to Christy? Alix would have some difficult questions to answer. She’d never discussed what had happened the night before the wedding, and she didn’t intend to. She tried not to think about it.

She’d slept with Zac.

She’d put it behind her, ignored it, pretended it hadn’t happened.

She’d assumed he’d do the same, but then he’d called her. Twice. She’d rejected his calls both times. He’d emailed her. She’d deleted it. She hadn’t given him a chance to follow up on what had happened. She’d avoided every social engagement that had meant their paths might cross.

Which was, presumably, why he’d been so sure she would refuse to come on this trip.

And she should have done. She should have done.

But now here they were, and there was no escaping.

Zac emerged from Holly’s bedroom and walked across to her. “I guess that’s the end of our deep, dark secret.”

The sound of his voice was enough to set her pulse racing.

She kept her back to him so that he couldn’t see her face.

“She’s four years old, Zac. She’ll have forgotten it by tomorrow.” Which was more than could be said for her. She’d spent almost five years trying to forget that one night, and one kiss had undone all the hard work. It wasn’t only the chemistry, although there was no denying the dizzying power of that. It was the gentleness. The way he kissed her, with thought and care, as if he knew every one of her secrets.

Which he did, of course.

Christy thought they’d had a fight that night, but it had been much worse than that. She’d told him things. Things she’d only ever told Christy. And Zac had listened. He’d listened while she poured out her heart and then held her while she sobbed out her agony. And there was no way of undoing that moment of unguarded honesty. No shutting herself away or pretending to be detached. He understood her, and that was terrifying. She didn’t want anyone knowing that much about her.

She felt his hands on her shoulders.

“I hate to be the one to break this to you, but she is not going to forget it. The one thing I do know about four-year-olds is that they have a tendency to say things when you don’t want them to.”

“Thanks for that reassurance.” She felt the brush of his body against hers and had to fight the urge to turn and lean her head on his chest.

“We can expect some awkward questions.”

She closed her eyes briefly. “What do you suggest? Try and persuade her she didn’t see what she saw?”

“That’s not going to work. Can’t lie to a four-year-old.”

Finally, she turned. “What, then?”

“As far as I can see, there’s only one solution.”

“Which is?”

He traced the line of her jaw with his fingers and grinned. “We kissed each other, so now we’re going to have to get married.”