Remember Ramsey by Cynthia Eden
Chapter Two
Observation notes: I don’t think Ramsey Hyde is as bad as the stories say.
Or…is he? Maybe I just hope he’s not that bad…
***
Whitney Augustine stared up at him with her gorgeous, green eyes. Her lashes were thick and dark, and her gaze seemed to bore straight into him. Her hair—blond, silky—teased her shoulders, and her lush red lips were parted.
She seemed fragile. Almost breakable. Back when she’d first started coming to his bar, she’d just strode right in as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She’d always smiled. Laughed freely. She’d gone toe-to-toe with him and showed no fear.
But now, fear clung to her. And she was too fucking pale.
His thumb slid over her cheek again. Beautiful Whitney. The woman who damn well haunted him. All he wanted to do was drag her closer. Hold her tight. Never, ever let her go.
She had no idea how close to the edge he was. Had no idea that for once in his miserable life, he was actually trying to do the right thing…for her.
“How do I know how you taste?” Whitney whispered.
His cock shoved hard against the front of his jeans. He’d been turned on ever since he’d seen her. Whitney had that effect on him. He saw her, he wanted her, and, usually, he took her.
Not that she remembered any of that. If she’d remembered all the times—all the ways—they’d fucked, she wouldn’t be staring at him with faint confusion on her face. She had no clue that he’d had her against the door. On the nearby couch. On the desk.
No matter how many times he took her, Ramsey always wanted more.
She’d become his obsession.
A weakness that he could not afford.
“How do I know?” she pushed in that sensual, husky voice that haunted his dreams.
He wanted her mouth. Wanted to drive his tongue past her plump lips and take and taste and have her giving that little moan in the back of her throat that always drove him insane. But if he did that, if he crossed that line…
It’s taking all of my strength to give her up. I can’t taste her again.
Because…he’d just want to keep her.
Fuck me, I already want to keep her.
“Have we been lovers?” Whitney searched his gaze. “Were we involved?”
“You’ve asked a lot more than just one question.” His voice was too gruff. Her scent had wrapped around him, and it flooded him with too many memories. Raspberries. She still smelled like sweet raspberries. Whitney must still be using the same scented soap. He’d bought her a ton of that stuff one day because he loved the way it smelled on her body and—
“And you haven’t answered any of my questions.”
No, he hadn’t. “Pick one. I’ll answer it.” He shouldn’t. He should be walking her outside. Sending her away. This was too dangerous. His life had always been too dangerous to include someone like her.
She nearly died once. Nothing like that can ever happen to Whitney again. But as long as she stayed in his life, in his twisted world, she would be a target. The only way for her to be safe—it was for him to keep his hands off her. For him to stay away.
For him to be the utter bastard that everyone knew him to be.
Her breath whispered out. “Were we lovers?” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth. Waited.
He could lie. Say no. Tell her that he’d never had her. But… “Of course,” he replied casually.
Her eyes widened. “We—we were?”
“Oh, yes.” His hand slid away from her. Went back to his side. Clenched into a fist. “We fucked dozens of times. Maybe even a hundred times. I wasn’t exactly counting.” He’d just been focused on sinking into her as deeply as he could go. “I had you in so many places. Once I fucked you on the bar top outside. On the pool table. I’ve had you in this room.” He rapped the desk with his fist. “Right here.”
If possible, her eyes got even bigger.
“I fucked you in my old car. On my motorcycle. On the beach. At your office. I fucked you in your bedroom, and we nearly broke your bed. I fucked you so many times that your body was tuned to me and only to me.”
She barely seemed to be breathing.
He should stop. He didn’t. I’m a bastard. “You like it dirty and rough, and you like to screw the worst criminal you can find. You get off on that, you know? The danger. Having sex with a man others say is a killer. You like to—”
“No.” Fast. Hard. “Stop it.”
Ramsey shrugged.
“You’re lying to me.”
He smiled. “What did you expect? For someone like me to tell you the truth? Where the hell is the fun in that?” His laugh was mocking and bitter. She wouldn’t get that he was mocking himself. “You really think someone like you hooked up with me? You practically scream innocence, while, baby, I’m more in the mood for sin.”
She put a hand to her stomach. “Coming here was a huge mistake.”
“Absolutely. I tried to tell you that.”
Her hand dropped. “I thought you could help me. You knew me.”
Those damn notes of hers. He’d have to get his hands on them and see just what she’d uncovered. “You want to know about our past? Fine. Once upon a time, you came into my bar. You wanted to observe the people here. It was for some damn research you had going on. I allowed you to stay for a while. End of story.”
“Why did I stop coming? Was I watching anyone in particular? Did I get involved with anyone here?”
His gut churned. “Lots of questions, and I’m pretty sure I only agreed to answer one.”
Her lips thinned. “You’re doing that thing again.”
Don’t ask. Don’t ask—“What thing?”
“Where you pretend to be an extra special type of bastard. I wish you’d stop.”
His lashes lowered to conceal his gaze. “Sweetheart, I’m extra all the time. Just as I am the worst bastard you will ever meet.” He had to get her out of there. It was taking all of his self-control not to reach out and touch her again. But if he touched her again, he would be kissing her. And if he kissed her, he would be keeping her.
It’s too dangerous. You have to get her gone.
“You don’t date the types of guys in this place, Dr. Whitney Augustine. You like safe guys. You even told me that shit once.” That part was true. Over the years, he’d found it was always easier to tell a blend of truth and lies.
“As far as you know, was I seeing anyone?”
Me. Only me. Because I wouldn’t let any other man get close to you. He shrugged. “Not like I was gonna keep track of your social life.”
Her hands went to her hips. “You are an exceedingly unhelpful man.”
“You’re welcome.”
She glared.
Stunning. Color had finally come back to her cheeks. She was sexy as hell, and he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone or anything in his entire life.
“Why won’t you help me?” Whitney demanded.
His chest burned. She was lost and he knew she was scared, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms. He wanted to protect her from every dangerous thing in the world.
That is exactly what I am trying to do. And he was helping. It just so happened that his helping routine made him look like he was an, ah, extra special type of bastard, as she’d put it. “There is no Prince Charming for you here. Is that what this is about?” He kept his voice mocking. “You read some bit in your notes about me, and you thought we’d shared something magical?”
“My notes. Yes.” A jerky nod. “I had notes saying you were a dangerous SOB who couldn’t be trusted.”
What? But his expression didn’t alter. “Yet you’re here…?”
“I told you, the files were corrupted. I thought there might be more to you—to me. To us.” She raked a hand through her hair. “I was desperate. Desperate times call for crazy measures, but I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t be bothering you again.”
You never bothered me. You just obsessed me. “I’ll have you escorted out to your car.”
“Not necessary.” She opened the door. “I can leave on my own.”
Then she walked away without looking back. As soon as she was gone…
He dropped his hands on the desktop. His body hunched forward.
No one had ever told him that being good would hurt so friggin’ much.
***
Whitney was blinking away tears—actual tears—as she rushed to her car. The parking lot was even more crowded than it had been before, and she was pretty much stumbling through people. Whitney ignored them as she beelined for her ride. Coming to Ramsey’s had been such a colossal mistake. She should have known better.
I needed help. And I was so sure…
Her hand swiped over her cheek.
“Hey, pretty lady!” A loud voice—loud and way too close—called out to her. “What’s the rush?”
She cut a glance to the side and saw a man with lots of piercings in his nose and ears start to swagger toward her. I do not need this now.
“Why don’t we go inside?” He hurried closer. Lifted his hand and curled it around her arm. “We can dance.” He rolled his hips.
God, I do not need this.
“Or we could just get straight down to business, and we could—”
“Get your hand off her. Now.” Ramsey roared.
The hand was immediately yanked off her. The guy swung toward Ramsey. “What—who—she—” He couldn’t seem to manage to put his words into any comprehensible form.
“She’s not touched. Ever. You put your fingers on her again, and I will break every single one of them.”
Whitney backed up. Rammed her ass into the bumper of her car.
“Sorry!” A squeak from the man with all the piercings. “I’m—”
Gone.
The guy had just full-out run across the parking lot.
Ramsey lunged as if he’d chase after him.
“Stop!” The order burst from her, and, surprisingly, at her cry, he did. Ramsey froze instantly. His hands were clenched. His body tight. And she could practically feel the fury crackling in the air around him.
“I could have handled him,” Whitney said, and her voice only trembled a little. “He just was being a nuisance. I don’t think that you needed to go full hulk on him and threaten to break his hand.”
He spun to face her. “Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No.”
He stalked toward her.
There was no place for her to go, not unless she jumped into her car. Maybe she should consider that option. Because in the shadows, Ramsey looked scary and savage and the fury around him just seemed to grow and grow.
He jerked to a halt near her. His body brushed against hers. “I told you…I wanted to have an escort come outside with you.”
Her mind was trying to process everything as fast as she could. “You followed me.”
He didn’t deny the charge.
“Why?”
“Another question. Do you truly think I’ll answer it?”
“I think—” No, she didn’t think he’d tell her the truth. She thought he was lying and tricking her. Words could deceive. Actions couldn’t. He’d just acted like some kind of primitive, jealous, out of control…lover? Boyfriend?
What was it? What were they to each other?
“You wouldn’t have broken his fingers.” At least she’d finally found something to say.
He didn’t respond.
“You wouldn’t have done that.” He was just trying to seem scary and intimidating.
Ramsey laughed. “You don’t know me. You don’t remember a damn thing about me. How could you determine what I would or wouldn’t do?” He pointed toward the driver’s door of her car. “Get in the vehicle and get out of here. You can’t trust the people at this place. They will hurt you.”
“That man, he—”
“That man has a record a mile long. He’s gone to prison for assault twice. Hell, yes, I would have broken his hand if he’d hurt you, and I would not have even given the act a second thought.”
Her breath shuddered out.
“Get in the car, Whitney.”
He was protecting her. Scaring her, but protecting her. Why? “You’re wrong.”
“The hell I am. I know these people. I understand them. If you don’t show strength, then you get destroyed. Believe me when I say that I would not hesitate to—”
She put her hands on his chest. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. But she was practically going crazy, and she had to know if she was right. “I do remember something about you. I remember how your mouth feels against mine.” And to prove it—to him and herself—she shoved up onto her toes. One of her hands grabbed the back of his head and she pushed her mouth against his.
Her movements had been awkward and too fast, and this was probably such a bad idea. An even worse idea than going into Ramsey’s in the first place, but she just had to know, and—
He wasn’t kissing her back.
His body was granite hard. So unyielding. And he wasn’t kissing her back.
Her lips brushed against his. Carefully. Tentatively. She’d been so sure…
A shudder ran the length of his body.
Whitney realized she’d squeezed her eyes shut. She cracked them open. “Ram?” The shortened version of his name slipped from her.
“Fucking…tried…” His hands closed around her hips. He lifted her up. Put her on the trunk of the car, and then he stepped between her spread legs. “Need you.”
This time, his mouth took hers.
Her lips were open, her body bow tight. His mouth brushed against hers, and then he tugged on her lower lip. A sensual pull that had her tensing all the more just before his tongue thrust into her mouth. He tasted her. He teased. He took. A moan built in her throat, and his mouth grew even harder on hers.
He was pulling her closer. His hands were sliding over her.
Everything was familiar. His mouth. His tongue. The way he touched her. The way he felt. The way hunger and need and lust whipped through her. Everything was familiar. Everything was—
I fucked you so many times that your body was tuned to me and only to me.
The words he’d said earlier rang through her head. She’d thought he was mocking her, but he felt right against her.
His hand slid to the front of her—
“Stop!” She’d torn her mouth from his. Her breath heaved in and out. Her heart raced far too fast.
His hands slapped onto the car’s trunk.
“We’ve kissed before.” She was definite on this.
He still stood between her legs. His gaze pinned hers. In the dark, she couldn’t read him, and she hated that.
He didn’t deny her words. How could he?
“What you said before…” She pressed her lips together and could still taste him. “About us. About all of the stuff we did together…was that true?”
“I told you to stay away.”
“Was that true?”
“You should have listened to me.” He shoved away from the car. Turned and seemed to sweep his gaze around the lot. “We could have been watched.”
Like she cared about anyone watching her at that moment. “We were lovers. That was why you came to the hospital that first day. We were involved.”
“Thought we already established that I wasn’t the type of guy you’d get involved with. You weren’t the type to screw dangerous men.” He whirled toward her. “Whatever we were…it’s all ancient history.”
Not to her, it wasn’t.
“You need to let the past go.”
She couldn’t. “Ramsey…”
“Drive away. Do not come back.”
Well, that was brutal. They’d kissed and he was still kicking her to the curb. She slid off the car. Tried to ignore the fact that her knees did a little jiggle. “Was I seeing someone else?”
“What. The. Fuck?”
Her chin lifted. So what if his voice had just gone all low and lethal? He would never physically hurt me. And that thought was as crazy as everything else that had happened that night. He was a crime boss. He’d threatened to break a guy’s hand just moments before. How the hell could she know if Ramsey would physically hurt her? She should be absolutely terrified of the man. Yet, she wasn’t. “Was I involved exclusively with you or was there someone else?”
“You have no idea what you’re doing.” Grim. Flat. “You do not want to push me right now.”
She did because she had no choice. He didn’t understand what she was facing. “If there was someone else, I need to know about him.”
He backed up a step. Another. “You…and some other jerkoff? Not really a picture I want in my head. Not something you should be throwing at me.”
“So you are at least confirming that you and I were involved?”
His arms crossed over his chest. “You ever wonder why you forgot that lost time?”
Of course, she did. “Yes. Every single day.”
He looked away. “Maybe it’s because you wanted to forget what happened.”
Bull. “Retrograde amnesia is a tricky bitch. After a traumatic brain injury…” Like she’d had. “Some people permanently lose years of memories. I lost six months.” One doctor had said she should consider herself lucky. “I don’t want my memories gone. No one wants to miss a giant chunk of life.”
“You do if that time is something you’d rather erase. If deep down, you wish the shit that had happened then…you wish it had never occurred. If you know it was a mistake.”
Mistake. “Are you saying that’s what we were?” Why was her chest aching so much?
“I’m saying there is nothing to tell you about us. Have we made out before? Sure. You’ve got one sexy mouth, and I wanted a taste.” A pause. “Not like you and I were hot and heavy. Not like we were planning a future and we were going to run away from everyone and everything else out there.” Another of his mocking laughs. “I mean, really, do I look like the type of man who’d do that?”
No, he didn’t. He looked like the type of man who didn’t care about much at all. And he’d told her—over and over again—to leave. She needed to take her tattered pride and get out of there. “As I said before, I won’t be bothering you again.”
With slow steps, she headed for the driver’s side. Her fingers pressed the button on her key fob, and the vehicle unlocked as the headlights flashed.
But before she could open the door, Ramsey beat her. He opened the door. Held it for her. Without a word—because there truly wasn’t more to say, not after he’d basically told her they’d been a colossal mistake—Whitney slid into the car. Her hands curled around the steering wheel.
“Promise me that you won’t come back here.” A new note had entered his voice.
She didn’t look his way. “Why would I possibly come back? Obviously, there is nothing for me here.”
He didn’t shut the door. Just lingered. Mixed messages much?
Whitney cranked her car. The engine growled.
“I’m damn glad you’re alive.” His words were low and ragged, and when she heard them—or, thought she heard them—her head automatically whipped toward him.
“Ramsey?” Had he really said—
“You don’t belong here. Stay on your safe side of town from now on.”
He slammed the door. Backed up.
Locking her jaw, she reversed and shot out of the lot. But she could not help glancing just once into her rearview mirror.
He was watching her leave.
***
He didn’t move. Not until her taillights had vanished down the road. Ramsey stood absolutely rooted to the spot. He swore that he could still smell her sweet scent. Could feel her lush curves against him. Could taste her.
Kissing her had been a colossal mistake. He’d been weak, and he’d given in to the rough lust he felt for her. Whitney had always been able to break his control.
A dangerous thing.
But she wouldn’t be back. There was no reason for her to come back. He’d played the bastard to the utmost level even though all he’d wanted to do was put his arms around her and hold her close. To never let go.
It wouldn’t work. We wouldn’t work.
He had a new enemy out there. A prick who thought he could move in on Ramsey’s territory. In addition to that jerk, the Feds were still jonesing for him. Hell, the Feds were always after him.
Then there was the matter of Ramsey’s not-so-long-lost brother being in town. Jinx was gonna be a major pain in the ass. He always was.
Ramsey had more than enough crap on his plate. He had—
All I want is her.
Jinx had told him to go after Whitney. To tell her the truth. But Jinx didn’t get just how far down the rabbit hole Ramsey had truly gone. When your hands were as bloody as his were, you weren’t supposed to put them on someone like Whitney.
I thought she was dead once. That nearly broke me. Needing Whitney so much made him weak. He couldn’t be weak. Not now.
Gravel crunched as the bouncer edged closer. “Boss…you mad?”
“Mad isn’t the right word, Jimmy.”
“I just—you used to always want her inside. You gave orders that she was to be brought straight to you. You seemed kind of, you know, down the last few days, so I thought that you might want to—”
“Did you just tell me I seemed ‘down’?” Jimmy had better be freaking kidding him. Ramsey spun on the bouncer and marched for him.
Jimmy did a fast and desperate retreat. “I, uh, I just thought she might make you happy—”
She did. “Whitney Augustine is not to be allowed in my place again.” Each word was spoken through gritted teeth. He said I looked freaking down. Down? What was he, Eeyore? Sonofabitch. “If she shows up, you escort her back to her car and you make absolutely sure she leaves the premises. I don’t want to see her again.”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, okay.”
“I don’t want her near me.”
“Sure, whatever you say, boss.”
“I don’t want her.”
Dammit. I am such a liar.
Because he wanted her—wanted her so badly that he thought he might be close to losing his mind.
“And I’m not fucking down.” He spun away and stormed back for his bar. “I’m a freaking ray of sunshine. Ask anyone.”
