Remember Ramsey by Cynthia Eden

Chapter Four

Observation notes: I know the bar is dangerous. I know Ramsey is dangerous. I know he’s bad. Except, I’m not sure he’s bad…for me.

***

He was making a mistake. Ramsey knew it. He should not have his hands on Whitney. He should not be kissing her. Should not have his lips pressed so hard to hers and should not be thrusting his tongue inside to taste every single bit of sweetness that she had. He should not be thinking about lifting her up onto the kitchen table. Spreading her thighs. Putting his mouth on her hot core and licking her until she screamed his name.

He shouldn’t…

But he was.

The pain in her voice had broken something in him. Hell, he was already more than broken enough as it was. But when she’d talked about clawing through the water, choking on the water…

That shit happened to her. She’d had to face that terror alone.

His mouth was too hard on hers. His hand was under her chin as he tipped back her head and took and took and took—

Her fingers pressed to his chest. She gave that little moan that drove him absolutely wild, and his whole body shuddered.

This isn’t putting space between you. This isn’t staying the hell away from her.

This is you…doing what you always do. Taking what you want.

And he wanted nothing—no one—more than he wanted her.

Her mouth pulled from his. Her breath gave a little heave. “You are the king of mixed messages, you understand that, don’t you?” Her voice had gone all husky and sensual. It was the way she sounded when he had her in bed. When he’d driven her to be just as crazy and hungry as he was.

Ramsey locked his jaw. “I want you.”

“Yes, I can, ah, feel that.”

She would be referring to the giant cock shoving toward her. Check. His gaze sharpened on her face. “I never denied wanting you.” It would be impossible to deny that basic truth. “You’re gorgeous. I’m sure most men you meet want to fuck you.”

Her brows rose. “I…don’t think that’s the case.”

“Then they’re morons.”

“Again, I don’t think—” She broke off as she delicately cleared her throat.

“If you want me to be honest, I wanted you from the first moment I saw you,” Ramsey told her flatly. Her hand was still on his chest and seemed to burn through his t-shirt.

Her green gaze held his. “And when was that?”

“When you came into my bar, saying you wanted to do some research.” The memory was so sharp and vivid, mostly because it had haunted him too many nights. “Knew from the first look that you didn’t belong there.” That you didn’t belong with me. “But you insisted. Even offered me a bargain.”

Now her lashes flickered. “What sort of bargain?”

He couldn’t stop the quick smile that spread across his face. “Well, first you offered me eighty dollars.” He hadn’t thought she was serious.

She had been.

She’d also been intriguing as hell.

He was used to people lying to him. Trying to deceive him. Threats were everywhere he turned.

Whitney had seemed too good to be true. An angel, cast down in his hell. He’d wanted to get his hands all over every inch of her delectable body. Eventually, he had.

“I’m guessing you didn’t take the money.”

“Can’t say I needed it.” What he needed was her mouth beneath his again.

“Then why did you let me stay?”

“Because I wanted to fuck you.”

Her eyes flared wide. “Is that…no. There is no way I would make a bargain that involved me sleeping with you in exchange for you letting me stay in your bar.”

“You wanted to observe the people who came into my place. In case you missed it, they aren’t exactly the sort that like to be watched. You were so determined to do your big experiment or field research or whatever you wanted to call it…” He paused. “Are you so sure you wouldn’t have agreed to any terms I offered you?”

She swallowed. “I didn’t sleep with you as part of a deal.”

“No? But you don’t remember…”

“And you’re trying to make me mad at you again. Is this some kind of self-sabotage thing? One step forward, and three steps back.”

“You’re shrinking me.” Ramsey had to shake his head. “You used to do that to me all the time when…” Shit. Stop talking.

But a little furrow had appeared between her eyes. “Were we friends?”

Now he laughed. “I don’t have friends.”

“I could swear, the way you just acted…”

Was kissing her like a madman a sign they were friends? He didn’t think so. “Like I told you already, I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. A normal reaction, no big deal. I still want you. So kissing you when you’re wearing a sexy robe and standing in front of me shouldn’t be anything unexpected.” He took a step back from her. His gaze darted down, and he saw that her tight nipples were thrusting against the silky fabric of her robe. “But what you might want to consider, with your ever so impressive psychology background, is why you are so hot for the bad guy?”

“Because I don’t think you’re bad.” An immediate response.

One that he hadn’t expected.

And, judging by the sudden parting of her lips and widening of her eyes, it was a response she hadn’t expected to give, too.

Ramsey pulled in a deep breath. “You’d be wrong on that score. You don’t remember…” His hand lifted and his knuckles slid over her cheek. “But I am very, very bad. I’ve done things that would give you nightmares.”

“I already have plenty of nightmares.”

Yes, she did. “And that’s why you don’t need me.” Another light brush of his knuckles over her cheek before his hand fell away. He had to get out of there. If he stayed longer…

I will put my mouth on her again. My hands. I’ll have her on the kitchen table and get her screaming my name as she comes over and over.

Ramsey turned away.

“You don’t know what I need.” Her low, angry words stopped him.

His shoulders stiffened.

“You don’t know because you haven’t been in my life since I came back. I vanished, and it seemed like I was forgotten.”

The hell you were. His hands clenched into fists as he faced her once more.

“No, correction, let me amend that statement. My friend Maisey hunted for me. Everyone else just seemed to think that I’d left town.”

I thought you’d left me. That you had gotten tired of the danger and the crime, and you’d run from me.

“She hired a PI to figure out what had happened to me. Maisey didn’t give up. But there was no one else. No devoted boyfriend who rushed out to find me. Even my own sister just closed down my house and started making arrangements to sell everything I owned.”

Each brittle world felt like a knife stabbing into him—and he should know. Ramsey had gotten plenty of knife wounds over the years.

“Then when I came back, I thought…I don’t know. That someone would be there. It’s like I’ve had a hole in my chest because something—someone—was missing. And if someone was missing for me, then I had to be missing for someone else, right?” She heaved out a frustrated breath. “Am I even making any sense?”

She was making plenty of sense. And yes, he understood having a hole in his chest. His heart had been carved out when she’d first gone missing. “Why don’t you just think of this as a do-over for you?” His words rasped out. “Whatever you had before, whoever you had, maybe it just wasn’t worth remembering.”

“I have to remember! You don’t know what’s at stake.”

He did know. Her life was at stake. Too many people had realized she was a weakness for him. And those dangerous people wanted to use his weakness against him. Until Ramsey eliminated those threats, he couldn’t afford to feel this pull for her. “I shouldn’t be here.” Truth.

But she took a step back, as if his words had hurt her.

Dammit. He didn’t want to hurt her.

He’d tried to be careful when he drove to her place. Ramsey had checked for tails and hadn’t seen any, but even he could make mistakes. “I won’t be back.” At least not until he’d taken care of the threats.

Wait. Shit…am I planning to claim her again? He knew that was wrong. He knew she would be a hundred times better off without him.

Her chin lifted. “I don’t want you back. Go. I can handle things just fine on my own. In case you missed it, I survived. I’m the one who stayed alive in the water until I could flag down fishermen. I’m the one who didn’t let that water take me. I can handle anything that comes my way. I am more than enough.”

“I don’t need to be told that. You’ve always been the strongest person I ever met.” His stare swept over her because he just had to drink her in. To have this memory to get him through the hell that would come. “How about you don’t take flowers from strangers for a while?”

“How about you stick to being the big, bad, crime boss and you don’t worry about me?”

“Worrying about you is what I do. A habit that I don’t think I can ever break.” His nostrils flared. “Lock up behind me.”

“No, I’m going to leave my front door unlocked and open. That way, any would-be thieves or stalkers in the neighborhood can just sweep right inside.”

He loved her bite. “You’re even sexier when you’re a smartass.”

“And you’re a secretive, controlling, apparently nightmare-inducing bad guy who likes to give mixed signals.”

She was so beautiful. “Good-bye, Whitney.”

He left. And it hurt. Because he wanted to stay with her so badly.

***

Trouble for Hire Private Investigations. Whitney took some nice, calming breaths and hoped they would help to slow her racing heart. They didn’t.

And she could not afford this level of stress. It wasn’t good. The doctor had told her to eliminate as much stress from her life as possible. Then what had she done?

Gone to Ramsey.

That had turned out to be a colossal mistake.

This time, she was going to the professionals. The PIs at Trouble for Hire would help her. She hoped.

When Whitney had been missing, her friend Maisey had gone to Trouble for Hire. Maisey had hired Odin Shaw. She’d also fallen in love with Odin, but that was a whole other story…

Whitney sat in the chair in front of Odin with her back perfectly straight as she tried to do her breathing exercises. So not helping. Her palms were all sweaty as she sat there with her bag near her feet.

More than a few moments had passed. She knew that. Whitney also knew that she should speak. The whole thing was just so awkward…

Odin—a giant of a man with blond hair and fierce features—cleared his throat. “Is there anything in particular I can do for you?”

The silence must have gotten to him, too. “Yes.” The word came out like a hiss.

He waited. Waited some more. His fingers drummed on the desktop.

She should say more. Whitney scrambled. “Maisey said you were the best.” She remembered her friend. They’d been tight for ages. Of course, Whitney didn’t remember anything she and Maisey might have done in the missing six months but…

“Did you tell Maisey you were coming to see me today?”

Miserably, Whitney shook her head. She’d really wanted to solve this problem without giving all the details to Maisey. Whitney had quizzed her friend to try and learn what she needed, but it hadn’t worked.

“Why not?”

“It’s…private.” Because after the careful questions she’d put to Maisey, Whitney had realized that Maisey couldn’t help her. Maisey simply didn’t have the information that Whitney needed.

“Well, we are a private investigation firm.”

Obviously, she knew that. Why else would she be—oh. Right. He’d been making a joke. She’d said the business was private and he’d followed up with his line. Maybe she was supposed to laugh?

Only Whitney very much didn’t feel like laughing. There had been nothing at all in her life to laugh about for a while.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know the problem.” His brows lowered over his piercing eyes.

Without thinking about it, one of her hands moved over her stomach.

And those piercing eyes of Odin’s widened. “Whitney?”

Just say it. “I’m pregnant.”

Oh, hell. Oh, damn. This was a mistake. The minute the words left her mouth, she knew she should have stayed quiet. If she kept working at it, Whitney was sure she could figure things out on her own. She jumped to her feet and whirled for the door.

“Stop!”

Her feet seemed to glue to the floor.

“Whitney, let me help you.”

Those words sounded wonderful. Tears pricked her eyes. She was crying over nearly everything these days! Slowly, Whitney turned back toward Odin. “It’s a miracle.” She knew that. Was grateful for her gift. “After what happened to me…the baby was safe all that time. The doctor said that’s what the body does. It protects the baby. A perfect design.” They’d done tests. So many tests. When she’d gone into the water, the doctors believed that her baby had only been a few days old. He’d told her some technical stuff about when the egg had been fertilized. Measurements could be taken of a fetus during the ultrasound process so he’d narrowed it down as best he could.

When I went in the water, I wouldn’t have known I was pregnant. It had actually been several weeks later before she’d learned the truth.

And…

She’d been scared. But also, elated. I’m not alone.

When she’d been taken ashore by the kind fishermen, exams had been performed on her. There had been no signs of sexual assault, and when she’d found out that her pregnancy had occurred before she went into the water…

I knew someone had to be waiting for me. Someone back in my real life.

“Then I came back here, and I thought—surely the father will make an appearance. He has to be someone in my life. Someone I-I knew, but the attack made me forget him.”

Odin was still sitting behind the desk and looking pretty stunned.

“But no one showed up.” Her voice lowered. “No man came to tell me that we were involved or that—that we…” Whitney crept closer. For a bit, when I found my observation notes, I wondered if maybe…“It could have been a one-night stand.”

“I don’t think so,” he said quickly.

His words gave her pause. “Um, why do you say that?” When he’d been working her case before, had he turned up a list of men she’d been involved with? Whitney hoped so—that was the main reason she’d come to Trouble for Hire. When he’d been hired by Maisey, Odin’s job had been to dig into her life, so maybe he’d created a nice file on her personal relationships. A file that he could slide her way so she could figure things out. Time to woman up and cut to the chase. “Look, that’s why I’m here, okay? Because I’m pregnant and I can’t remember who the father of this child is. This child that is so tiny and precious inside of me and…I just—can you help me?” She was close to begging. So what? She’d do anything for this baby. “Can you help me to figure out what was happening to me during that period of my life that I forgot? Help me to find the man I forgot?” Whitney held her breath.

“I can do better than that.”

He could? Great. Wonderful.

“I’m taking the case. Pro bono.”

That wasn’t necessary. She could easily cover the costs for the case. “But, no, I will pay—”

“I’m taking the case,” he told her grimly. “And I think I may know the father.”

“Already? How?” But—she knew. It must be in her case files—

“You might want to take a seat.”

Oh, no. “That doesn’t sound good.”

He motioned toward the chair she’d used before. “Please, why don’t you sit down again?”

She fell into the chair. “I-I had a crazy hunch about who the father might be.” It felt like she was rambling. Probably because she was. “I found some old notes I’d made when I was doing some field research, and I went to, ah, see a certain individual. But that turned out to be a dead end.”

Actually, she didn’t know if she and Ramsey had been together or not. She’d asked. Over and over. He’d lied.

Not exactly reassuring.

“You know I looked into your life before.”

A nod. That’s why I came to you.

“I can tell you—right now—that I know the identity of one man you were seeing before your disappearance.” He raised his right hand. “However, I’m not saying he is the father of your child. Are you sure that the baby…” His face darkened. “Have you talked to the police and—”

“I was not raped. I was pregnant before my attack, my doctor said it would have just been too early for me to know.” She’d also talked to the cops, yes, and they’d grilled the individuals who had been guilty in her attempted murder about every aspect of the case.

“I can’t say for certain you were only involved with this individual. He was the one who appeared to play most prominently in your life during that time but…”

“The people at my office thought I wasn’t involved with anyone.” She’d done careful questioning there.

“You kept your relationship secret.”

“Why?”

“Because…he’s a complicated man. And a bit of a dick,” he muttered darkly.

She leaned forward. “Excuse me? I didn’t hear that last part.” She didn’t think she’d heard him correctly.

He let out a rough exhale. “Does the name Ramsey Hyde mean anything to you?”

A fist squeezed her heart. “I am aware of him, yes.”

Odin winced. “You’ve probably heard the stories that circulate about him.”

“You mean the ones that say he’s a criminal mastermind who is under investigation by the FBI?”

“Uh, huh. Those stories.”

“I’ve read them.” Her lips pressed together.

“You were doing some research at his place before your disappearance. My understanding is that you and Ramsey grew…close during that time.”

Ramsey’s voice blasted through her head. We fucked dozens of times. Maybe even a hundred times. I wasn’t exactly counting.

“Whitney? Are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

I had you in so many places. Once I fucked you on the bar top outside. On the pool table. I’ve had you in this room.

“Do you want me to get you a glass of water?”

“No.” She swallowed twice. “I’m fine.” She was not. Ramsey hadn’t been playing a mind game with her. He’d been telling her the truth. Maybe. “Your investigation showed that Ramsey and I were intimately involved?”

“The two of you were planning to run away together.”

“What?” It was a good thing that she was sitting down. Otherwise, she probably would have fallen. “That’s wrong. Your information is incorrect.” She was speaking too quickly. “Maybe we—we hooked up. I could see that happening. He’s sexy in a dark and brooding kind of way—”

“You don’t usually hook up with men like him.”

“But I sincerely doubt we were going to run away together and—” She stopped. “What did you say?”

The faint lines near his mouth deepened. “When you were missing, Maisey talked about you a lot. You’re her best friend. You know she loves you.”

And Whitney loved her.

“She said you had rules about the men you dated. You research criminals, but you only date safe men. The upstanding good guys are your type.”

That did not describe Ramsey.

“So maybe there was someone else. Maybe there is some safe guy who was in your life, and I will consider that option. I’ll get started digging, and we’ll just say that Ramsey is—”

“I spoke with Ramsey recently.” She should probably try the breathing routine again. Deep breaths. Shallow breaths. Ah, screw it. “He made it clear there was certainly nothing permanent between us. I find it hard to believe that we were running away together.”

“Ramsey is a very good liar.”

Why did those words make her flinch? “I need to know if there was any lover other than Ramsey. You just said there could have been someone else. We should find out for certain.” Ramsey. Ramsey.

Odin opened his mouth to speak, then stopped.

“What?” Whitney nearly jumped toward him.

“From what I know about him, Ramsey isn’t exactly the type to share…not anything. If you were involved with him as deeply as I suspect, he would have been possessive as hell.”

“Okay. Then that proves you’re wrong. Excellent.” Ramsey. She sniffed. “If he was ‘possessive as hell’ as you put it, then wouldn’t he already be back in my life?”

But he was outside my house last night…

No, no. No. “Wouldn’t he have rushed to my side?”

He did rush to the hospital in town. The first day I came back, he rushed in…only to leave moments later.

Whitney cleared her throat. “Wouldn’t he be staying with me?”

Silence. She was realizing that Odin was a man who liked a lot of silence. Or maybe he just didn’t have a good answer for her last question. Or any of her questions.

“Ramsey is a complicated man.” His response came very slowly. “And his life is complicated.”

“Yes, well, so is mine. Super complicated.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“And you think he’s just going to open up and tell you all the private details that went on between the two of us? Hate to burst your bubble, but I went to him and tried to find out. He wasn’t the sharing sort and—” Hell, she’d basically just backed up what Odin had told her moments ago, and she could see the truth of that in his eyes. “What I mean was…he wasn’t very forthcoming,” Whitney carefully corrected.

“Uh, huh.”

“He wasn’t. And I doubt he’s just going to be a big sharer with you.”

Odin tapped his chin. “Maybe not with me, but we do have another PI here at Trouble for Hire who can get the truth from him, if you don’t mind me passing along this case. Be assured that I will still work it, too, but I think Jinx’s unique relationship with Ramsey may help us get to the truth faster.”

She knew Jinx. Big, muscled, and with a devilish grin, their paths had crossed a few times lately. “Just what sort of relationship does he have with Ramsey?”

Once more, Odin started to speak. His lips parted, but no sound emerged.

She tapped her right foot against the floor. Waited. Waited—

“Complicated,” Odin finally announced.

Her eyes narrowed. Odin must love that word.

“Sorry. That’s a shit answer, isn’t it?”

It was. “Everything is complicated these days.”

He rose and strode around the desk toward her. Odin towered over her with his expression all earnest and concerned. “You are Maisey’s best friend.”

A nod.

“You matter to her, so that means you matter to me. I want to help you. Trust me to do this. Trust me and trust Jinx. We’ll find out the truth for you.”

It wasn’t like she had much choice.

Odin’s hand closed over her shoulder. “Everything is going to be all right.”

Dammit. Stupid tears filled her eyes again. She didn’t contradict him, but Whitney knew Odin was wrong. Nothing had been all right in her life for a very, very long time.

***

Damn. Damn. Damn. Whitney had left his office. Odin had felt the woman’s pain battering at him, and if there was one thing in this world he just could not stand, it was a woman hurting.

He pulled out his phone. She’d given him the okay to bring in Jinx on this case, and he could definitely use the other man’s, ah, special touch.

Jinx picked up on the second ring.

“Personal day, man!” Jinx seemed abnormally happy. Sure, the guy was usually happy, but this was a whole other level of joy. “I am taking a personal day and living my best life with my lady—”

“Whitney Augustine was just here,” Odin cut in before Jinx could tell him more about that best life he was living.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you had a visit with her planned.” Not overly interested. “Even told Ramsey about it when he—”

Yes, he would have mentioned the appointment to Ramsey…since Jinx was Ramsey’s brother. “She’s pregnant.”

“What?”

He winced and had to pull the phone away from his ear. Who would have known that Jinx could make his voice get that high? When the ringing in his ear subsided, Odin brought the phone back and bluntly asked, “Is the baby your brother’s? Because she wants us to find the father. The woman has no memory of that time or who she was involved with, and she just hired us to solve the mystery for her.” He didn’t mention he’d insisted on doing the case pro bono. No point. He knew Jinx would have wanted the same thing.

“Oh, damn.” Now Jinx sounded shaken. “Ramsey will lose his mind.”

Yep, that was Odin’s thought. “Guess who gets to break the news to him?”

“What? Aw, man. Come on. Did you miss the part where I was having my best life?”

“I heard it and good for you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I—”

“But we both know you are one of the few people who can get an immediate audience with Ramsey.”

“Uh, he keeps kicking me out of his life.”

“You’re his brother. He’ll see you. And when you deliver the news about Whitney, he won’t shoot the messenger because the messenger will be you.”

“Don’t be too sure of that,” Jinx muttered. “He’s more likely to shoot because it is me.”

“If the baby is his, that will make the kid your niece or nephew.”

Silence. Then… “Well, that’s just fucking sweet. You know I will be an amazing uncle. I will let the kid get away with so much shit. I’ll be her favorite person. She will love me more than she loves anyone else and will want to spend all of her time with her Uncle Jinxy.”

His temples were throbbing. “It may not be Ramsey’s baby. If it’s not…”

“Yeah, I don’t think you quite get just how obsessed the man was with her. Even when we were kids, the guy would beat the ass of anyone who tried to take his toys.”

“Don’t think Whitney is a toy.”

“Of course, not, but you see where I’m going.”

Not really.

“I’d bet on the child being his,” Jinx added confidently.

“We need more than a bet. We need certainty. There are tests that can be done. We’ll get proof. After you break the news to him.”

“Right.” A sigh. “Once more, I’m telling you, he will lose his mind.”

“Yeah, well, good luck with that.”