Remember Ramsey by Cynthia Eden

Chapter Six

Observation notes: I know the tattoos that I see people sporting in Ramsey’s bar have many different meanings. Some are old gang symbols. Some have religious significance. Some are even to…mark kills.

Ramsey got a new tattoo today. He got it on his palm. I heard Jag say that palm tattoos can hurt the most, that they were real bitches. He even warned Ramsey that it might fade. That he’d have to get another.

Ramsey said he didn’t care. The pain had been worth it.

The tattoo was of a rose. It looks so much like the roses he’s left for me.

I think the tattoo was for me, too. I teased him and asked exactly what it meant, asked if he was trying to say he had me in the palm of his hand.

No one usually teases Ramsey, but I did. I wasn’t surprised he didn’t laugh. Getting Ramsey to laugh can be nearly impossible. But he told me…

He said the tattoo was to remind him that beautiful things had to be held carefully. Treasured.

I think…I think I was the beautiful thing he was talking about.

And none of this belongs in my notes. Later, I need to delete, delete, delete. But typing right now helps me to think. Because…when it comes to Ramsey, I think—

***

“What did I think?” Whitney glared at the computer screen. “Did I actually think that he cared about me? What was happening?”

She’d been unable to sleep, feeling too wired after her visit to Trouble for Hire earlier in the day, and she’d pulled up her old notes to see if maybe there was something she’d missed. Only half of the files would open for her. And the text would sometimes be cut off by random numbers and letters.

The entry she’d been reading just stopped with a sequence of zeroes and ones. She needed help. Maybe someone in her college’s computer science department could work some magic to help her retrieve more information? After her disappearance, the cops had taken her laptop for a while. They’d apologized when they gave it back to her and said someone had spilled some coffee on it one day.

Her fingers tapped on the keyboard just as her doorbell gave a loud peal. The sound jolted Whitney, and she jerked.

She thought of the mystery deliveries she’d been getting. Whitney pulled out her phone. She’d had one of those video doorbells installed earlier in the day, and a swipe of her finger brought up the feed of her front porch to show her that the visitor was—

Ramsey?

She shoved the phone into the left pocket of her comfy pajama shorts and stormed for the door. As fast as possible, she flipped the locks and wrenched open the door. “What in the hell are you doing here?”

His hands were shoved into the pockets of his battered coat. “Hello to you, too, sunshine.”

Whitney’s eyes narrowed. “Not even twenty-four hours ago, you very dramatically told me, and I quote, ‘I won’t be back.’”

His lips pressed together.

“You’re back.” Whitney pointed out the obvious. What wasn’t so obvious? “Why?”

“We need to talk.”

“You could pick up a phone and call me if we need to have a conversation. You can text me. Email me. There are lots of ways to communicate.”

“In person,” he gritted.

Her arms folded over her chest. “Fine. Talk.”

Ramsey glanced over his shoulder, then back at her. “Could we talk inside?”

“No. We can talk outside. There’s no need for you to come inside. As you’ve pointed out to me many times, we were not friends before. We’re not friends now.”

“I’m a bastard.”

A quick nod from Whitney. “Yes, you’ve pointed that out to me several times, too. Seems unnecessary to rehash it yet again.”

A muscle flexed along his jaw. “Would it help if I said that I came to apologize?”

“Not particularly.” But her eyes had narrowed. “Though I am curious about just what you’d like to apologize for.”

“Oh, you know, the usual.”

“I have no idea what your usual would be.”

His lips appeared to almost curl, but the smile—or what could have been a near smile—vanished in the next instant. “Being a heartless, controlling, arrogant jerk. That usual routine.”

“Fine. Apologize.”

“Can I do it inside?”

He just kept pushing to come in her house. She thought that was a terrible idea, especially considering the way things had ended for them before.

“I’m sorry,” Ramsey announced before she could tell him that hell, no, he wasn’t bringing his sexy and arrogant ass into her house. “I’m sorry that I pushed you away. I’m sorry that I wouldn’t let you get close.” He stepped forward.

She stiffened her spine and refused to back up.

His voice deepened even more. “And, mostly, I’m sorry that I didn’t grab you tight the minute you came back to the area. I’m sorry that I let all this time go to waste because I fucking thought I was doing the right thing when I wasn’t. When I was just leaving you on your own.”

Then…his gaze dropped to her stomach.

He swallowed.

“I’m sorry you were alone…when you do not need to be alone at a time like this,” he added gruffly.

Oh, no. Nope. Her hand immediately flew to her stomach. She touched the silky material of her pajama top. When he’d barged in, she’d been dressed for bed, wearing the blue pajama top and matching shorts. “Who told you?”

“It’s true?” His gaze lifted. The light on the porch shone down on him, but she could not read his expression to save her life. “You’re pregnant?”

“Who told you?” she repeated. “Was it Odin? I didn’t want to go to him, but I was running out of options, and he seemed to already know so many details about my life…”

“I know more about your life than he does.” Ramsey’s hand lifted. Tenderly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I know more about you than anyone else ever could.”

His tender touch hurt. Tears pricked her eyes. “You sonofabitch.”

He flinched.

“You know so much?” His words infuriated her. Made her want to scream and rage. “I have been in the dark for so long. I was desperate to find out what happened in my lost time. You knew, and you didn’t tell me? You left me alone!”

“I thought you were better off without me.”

Now a cry of fury did burst from her. “That isn’t your call to make! It was my life! I had a big void where memories should be. You knew and you didn’t come to me!”

Lights flashed on at the house next door.

His head turned toward the suddenly bright illumination. “Your neighbors will be calling the cops if you keep yelling at me.”

“Good. Let them come. They can haul you off in handcuffs and that will be an awesome end of the night for me.” She exhaled on a hard sigh. He’d left her. Just abandoned her. Until…

Until he’d found out about the baby, and only then had he come back.

Ramsey didn’t come back for me.

Her chest burned.

“I deserve that.” His shoulders squared. They’d already been square because they were awesomely wide and strong, but he rolled them back as if preparing for some big battle. “Jinx told me. You know he works with Trouble for Hire.”

“Yes.”

“He’s also my brother. Though very few people realize that. I keep it secret. If Jinx had his way, he’d blab to the whole world about us.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Why are you keeping it secret?”

“Because bad things happen to people who are close to me. I have more enemies than you can possibly imagine, and sometimes, those enemies try to hurt people that I care about in order to hurt me.” His gaze didn’t leave her face. “You want to know why I didn’t come to you and hold on as tightly as I could? Even though I fucking dream and fantasize about you twenty-four, seven?”

No, that wasn’t right. He didn’t—

“It’s because as much as I want you, I want to protect you even more. Staying out of your life was the best thing I could do for you. When I stayed away from you, that protected you.”

Back to that song, was he? “You don’t get to tell me how to live my life. I decide what’s safe and what isn’t.”

Her neighbor had crept onto her porch and was peering over at them.

“Shall we let the lovely lady with the rollers in her hair call the cops or will you let me come inside and talk to you for five minutes?” Ramsey asked.

“Everything okay over there?” Her neighbor called out.

“Fine!” It wasn’t.

Ramsey turned toward the other woman. He gave what looked like a friendly wave. “She was just overwhelmed with surprise and joy when she opened the door and found me on her doorstep. That was a cry of pure happiness you heard moments ago.”

Hardly.

“Maybe take the joy inside,” her neighbor grumbled. “People are trying to sleep.” She marched back in her house and slammed the door.

“New neighbor?” Ramsey asked, voice turning silky. “Because she wasn’t here before. You had the talented jazz player who would sit on his porch and play his sax all night. After we were done fucking for hours, we’d open your window and let the music drift inside.”

She reached out and grabbed his coat. “Get inside. And stop talking about us having sex.”

“Why? Our having sex has led to the current situation.”

His voice was loud and strong, and she did not want her new neighbor hearing all of these details. Whitney hauled Ramsey inside and slammed the door shut behind him.

Before she could flip the locks, he beat her to the punch. Once the door was secure, he turned back toward her. His gaze slid over her. “Are you feeling well? Eating enough? Taking vitamins? Because I read that it was extremely important to be on prenatal vitamins.”

Her hands went to her hips. “I’m feeling great.” No, she was feeling furious. “Eating perfectly, thanks. And, yes, I am on prenatal vitamins, so you can mark that off your check list.” Hold up. He’d read that it was important to have prenatal vitamins? What had he done? Researched pregnancy?

“No morning sickness? No late-night nausea?”

“Oh, I’m feeling pretty nauseous right now,” she muttered.

He immediately bounded toward her. “Crackers.”

What?

“Crackers can help with nausea. I can go get you some. I can—”

“Stop.”

His mouth closed. His eyes glittered.

She pulled in a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “How do you even know the baby is yours?”

“Because you are mine.”

That wasn’t a real answer. And why were chill bumps skating down her arms?

“We were involved before you disappeared, Whitney.”

“Yes, I managed to figure that out. Despite your efforts to stop me.”

His head inclined toward her.

Her chill bumps got worse. “So we slept together once.”

“More than once.”

“Twice?”

He shook his head. “I told you the truth before. You just didn’t realize it.”

We fucked dozens of times. Maybe even a hundred times. I wasn’t exactly counting. I had you in so many places. Once I fucked you on the bar top outside. On the pool table.

“I know every inch of your body, and, once upon a time, you knew mine the same way.”

I fucked you in my old car. On my motorcycle. On the beach. At your office.Her gaze darted toward the hallway—toward her bedroom. I fucked you in your bedroom, and we nearly broke your bed. I fucked you so many times that your body was tuned to me and only to me.

“Jinx told me that you were pregnant before your attack. That means the baby is mine. You were with me and only me.”

“Hate to shatter your ego, but you don’t know that. You can’t know if I was being faithful to you.” She could be logical and think this through. “There are tests that can be performed. I spoke with my doctor about them. For one, I-I will just need to get a cheek swab from you in order to get your DNA. The doctor can take a sample of the DNA in my blood and compare it to yours. He told me this one can be done as early as seven weeks, and I’m certainly past that point now so there is…” Her words trailed away because his expression had become even more fierce.

“I don’t need a test. I know I’m the father.”

“Yes, well, I want to know, how about that? You may have this magic faith that you were all-knowing about my faithfulness, though I don’t get why you’re so trusting on that point. You hardly strike me as an overly trusting individual. Quite the opposite.”

“True. Except when it comes to you.” His hands lifted as if he’d touch her, but then he seemed to catch himself. “When it comes to you, all of the rules are different. Besides, I know one irrefutable fact that you don’t.”

“Oh, really? Then please, enlighten me. Tell me about this ‘irrefutable fact’ of yours.” Like it was going to be a game changer.

“You were in love with me, Whitney. You wouldn’t have slept with someone else while you loved me.”

Now she jerked back as if he’d burned her. “What?” No, he had to be playing some kind of mind game with her. “You said it was casual sex!”

“I never said that.” A line appeared between his eyebrows.

“You sure implied it! What with your whole we-were-fucking-everywhere routine! It was like fuck city, but you didn’t mention love!”

His lips lifted. “Fuck city?”

“Do not dare laugh at me right now.”

Instantly, he sobered. “I would never laugh at you.” His nostrils flared. “There are lots of things I would do for you.”

“Oh? Like what?”

“Like lie. Steal. Kill.”

Her chill bumps were so bad.

“But I would never laugh at you. You’re far too important for that.”

“How am I supposed to believe you?”

“I can prove myself to you, if you just give me time.”

She had to focus. Get back to DNA. “The second type of test is more invasive. There’s a risk.”

“Forget it.”

She ignored his interruption. “There’s a small risk of miscarriage because a needle has to be inserted through my abdomen to collect a fluid sample…” Just the mental picture had her squirming. “I’d prefer not to do that method because I don’t want to do anything that might have a chance of hurting the baby.”

“I don’t want to hurt the baby or you. I know this child is mine. But if you want a DNA sample from my cheek, take it so you can know what I already do. But please, don’t do anything that risks you or that child.”

His please sounded rusty. “You want the baby?”

“I want the baby and the baby’s mother. Let me be very clear on that.” His stare didn’t waver from her face. “I want you both.”

“Do you? Because I didn’t see you saying that yesterday. I only see you saying it now that you know about the child.” She put her hand over her stomach. “I can take care of this baby just fine on my own. I just—I contacted Odin because I wanted to know the truth.”

“The truth is that you were mine. That baby is mine. And I want you to be mine again.”

He was unbelievable. “You didn’t seem to want me last night.”

He surged even closer. So close that the heat from his body seemed to wrap around her. “I wanted you last night. I knew kissing you was a mistake, but my lack of control around you has always been an issue. I’ve been dreaming about you, fantasizing, craving you, and then you just walked right back into my life. I kissed you because nothing has ever tasted as good as you do. I kissed you, and I wanted you naked. I wanted to have you on your kitchen table or against the nearest wall. Wherever I could get you.”

Her breathing had hitched.

“But I was trying to be a gentleman. Something I am very much not. Walking out was the only way for me to keep my hands off you.”

His cocky arrogance was astounding. “I don’t remember inviting you to have sex with me. We were just talking in the kitchen. And we kissed. So what?”

Now he did smile. A full smile that tilted his lips, that lightened his dark eyes, and made the gold hidden in the depths gleam. “When it comes to the way we react to each other, your control is as weak as mine.”

A lump rose in her throat.

“You don’t remember,” he murmured.

No, she didn’t.

“But I do. That will work to my advantage. I remember everything that you like. I know how to drive you wild with need. I know how to make you shudder with pleasure. And believe me, I will.”

Utterly astounding. “You think I’m going to take you back with open arms? If so, you’re delusional.” She ignored her racing heartbeat and the way her whole body suddenly felt way too sensitive and hyperaware. “I might have been involved with you before—”

“You loved me before.”

Don’t focus on that. “But that was then. I have no memories of you now. I know nothing about you except that you’re some sort of super criminal. That information hardly makes me want to fall at your feet.” If anything, she thought he needed to be at her feet. A good grovel would probably do wonders for him.

But he didn’t look as if he was anywhere close to groveling. In fact, the gold in his eyes gleamed all the more. “Then I guess I’ll just have to make you either remember me…”

Like it would be that easy. Didn’t he think she’d tried to remember?

“Or…I’ll follow Jinx’s advice.”

“What the hell?”

“I’ll just have to get you to fall for me again.”

“Not happening,” she fired right back. The man could just keep dreaming on that one.

A loud, growling reached her ears. A sound that seemed to vibrate from outside.

His head immediately jerked to the left.

“Some wanna-be drag racer,” she said, dismissing the noise even as it grew louder. Closer. “Probably just a kid spinning through the cul-de-sac.” Super annoying and loud. “He’ll be gone in a few moments.”

The growl turned into a rumble. As if…as if the car had stopped. Right in front of her house.

Tension poured from Ramsey. “I don’t think it’s a kid.”

Well…

Before she could answer, the glass of her big picture window—the window in the front of her house—exploded inward as something hurtled through toward them. The glass shattered, and she automatically brought up her arm to protect herself, but Ramsey was already there. He’d moved in a flash and his body curled over hers.

Whoosh. There was a weird rush, sounded like wind, and when she peered around him, she saw fire eating its way up the billowing curtains that had surrounded her favorite window. “Ramsey?” Alarm had her voice breaking.

A second projectile hurtled through the window.

And more flames erupted.

Before she could scream, Ramsey had her in his arms.