First Kiss at Christmas by Lee Tobin McClain

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

KAYLAHADTOFORCE herself to go to the Book Club Christmas party on Wednesday night.

She’d woken up this morning feeling blue, and it wasn’t hard to figure out why: Tony. Tony, who seemed to be getting together with Norleen.

She might be wrong, but from the cozy way Norleen had fixed lunch at his house, she assumed the two were on a familiar, drop-in basis.

At Crabby Christmas, Kayla had been willing to take action, spruce herself up and try to get Tony’s attention. But that energy had deserted her now.

She’d had her first kiss, and it hadn’t changed anything. Or rather, it had changed her;how she felt about Tony and herself and their relationship. It had put everything onto a higher plane, intensified everything. That might have been good if they’d ended up getting together, but since they weren’t...ouch. It just hurt.

No self-pity,she told herself firmly. She cleaned her house, sorted through and posted a few cute pictures from the school’s Christmas party, and wrapped some gifts. There was nothing more to do in the way of Christmas preparations, and she was off from teaching this week. The best thing was to go to the party, hang out with women friends. After all, she’d read the book.

She walked into Lighthouse Lit right behind Sylvie, smiling to see the bookish winter wonderland. White garland with red berries circled high on the walls. A tall tree, real from the smell of it, stood in the corner, decorated with book ornaments. There was a pretty box for book donations. Handmade snowflakes decorated the window, and the kids’ area had a realistic-looking Santa reading a book.

Mary’s goldendoodle, Coco, lay in the midst of the circle of chairs, her head up and alert as she watched everyone come in. Even she was dressed for Christmas, sporting a red-and-green bandanna.

“She knows we’ll bring treats.” Kayla reached into her purse and pulled out a large biscuit, decorated with a red ribbon. She waved it at the dog and then handed it to Mary.

“You’re sweet. Come in, sit down.” Mary beckoned them toward the circle of chairs. “We’re a small group tonight.”

The door jingled again. “Oh, there’s Amber. And Bisky may come, but she said she’d be late.” Mary gave hugs all around, even to Sylvie, who looked surprised at the friendliness.

“It’s a busy time of year,” Amber said, “but when I saw what book we were discussing, I couldn’t stay home.”

“Resolutions for Superwomen. It’s definitely a catchy title,” Mary said. “And it’s a short book, which is what we need during the holiday season. But before we discuss, let’s eat and drink.”

She beckoned them toward a dessert spread that made Kayla groan. Bourbon balls, a nut roll, a plate of fudge and another of colorful spritz cookies. A big heated container of hot chocolate stood at the end of the table, alongside a bowl of whipped cream, a jar of peppermint sticks, and a small bottle of peppermint schnapps.

“Heavenly,” Amber said. And so they talked recipes and Christmas preparations. Bisky stuck her head in the door to apologize for not staying; she’d agreed to help her daughter with some last-minute shopping. As soon as Bisky left—laden with a container of cookies Mary pushed on her—Ria called to say things at the motel were crazy, so she couldn’t come, either.

“More to eat for you ladies,” Mary said, “and plenty to take home if you like.”

Amber served up mugs of hot chocolate and then went around offering everyone hits of the schnapps. Kayla debated for only a minute before loading a small plate with fudge and cookies. Sylvie hesitated, too, then filled a plate. “Christmas is only once a year,” she said. “I’ll worry about the calories in January.”

“They don’t count on the holidays.” Mary sliced the nut roll and handed around the bourbon balls. “Especially when you’re fueling a book discussion. Eat up, everyone.”

Finally, they made their way over to the chairs and sat down, pulling out their books or e-readers.

Mary led the discussion. “Let’s talk about the concept of resolutions first. Who makes them? If you do, how did last year’s resolutions go?”

Kayla’s face heated, and she looked over at Amber and made a zipping motion over her mouth. No way was she going to let the group know about her silly kissing resolution.

Amber gave her a thumbs-up; she understood. “I resolved to write every morning from nine to twelve,” she said. She wrote wonderful nonfiction books, including one about cancer, and was planning a travel book. “It was too ambitious, what with getting married and adjusting to having a young child again.”

“And a husband who wants to spend time with you,” Mary replied. “Totally understandable. But think how you could troubleshoot for next year’s resolution.”

“I need to get a writer shed outside of the house,” Amber joked. “Only I know I’d be going back inside all the time to see what Paul and Davey were up to.”

“How about you, Sylvie?” Mary asked.

Sylvie laughed, looking self-conscious. “I don’t make resolutions.”

“Any reason why?”

“Honestly?” Sylvie blew out a sigh. “It hasn’t seemed like I had enough control over my life to dictate how it should go.”

Kayla was curious about the woman. Despite working with her these past few weeks, she didn’t feel like she knew her well. “Is that still the case going forward?”

Sylvie lifted her hands, palms up. “I just don’t know. Lots of decisions in my near future. Leave it at that.”

Mary nodded. “I understand. Kayla? What about you?”

“I’ve made resolutions,” she said, blushing, “and even, kind of, kept them. But I don’t think I’m making the right kind.”

“What do you mean?”

Kayla sighed. “I made a resolution that I thought would get me on track toward what I wanted. It didn’t work out that way.”

“Cryptic,” Sylvie said.

“Seriously cryptic,” Amber agreed, her lips twitching with a smile she was trying to hide.

“But resolutions can be private. You don’t have to share them if you don’t want to,” Mary said.

“Suffice it to say, it’s about men. Men, and family, and the future.”

Sylvie smiled at her. “That’s me, too. I have stuff to figure out about men, one man in particular. But how do I make that be my resolution?”

“And that’s where our book comes in,” Mary said. “What did you think of her approach?”

“No, uh-uh,” Amber said, waving a peppermint stick at Mary. “You can’t get away with making us tell about our resolutions, and you don’t tell yours.”

“Last year, I didn’t make one. I was just so worn out from all the issues in my life. Now, I’m ready to go forward again.”

“Bravo!” Amber clapped. “Here’s to new beginnings.” She lifted her mug, and the rest of them followed suit.

“Cheers, to all of us,” Mary said. “And by the way, just like our author says, resolutions don’t have to be about accomplishments we can check off a list. They can be about self-care. Mine, for example, is to get outside every day, rain or shine, and be mindful in nature.”

“I love that!” Amber said. “You have to be specific, though. How long?”

“Oh, I’ll start with an hour. That’s about the minimum Coco needs as a walk.”

To Kayla’s surprise, Sylvie spoke up. “You know what, I do have a resolution. I’m resolving to make a decision about my current relationship. And whether I stay or go, I’m going to journal, like she talks about in the book. Figure out what helps me feel good and what doesn’t.”

“That’s a fine resolution,” Mary said.

“I’m going to figure out how to be close to a man without getting all insecure,” Kayla said. Her cheeks heated to reveal that about herself, but to her surprise, both Mary and Sylvie nodded.

“I’m totally insecure around men,” Sylvie admitted.

“I was, for many years,” Mary said.

“You?” Kayla couldn’t believe it. “But you’re, like, a model.”

Mary snorted. “I was. Now, I’m a seventy-something woman. Either invisible, or...” She trailed off, a tiny smile curving her lips.

“Or a sex object, to your next-door neighbor.” Amber waggled her eyebrows, making Mary laugh.

Kayla smiled, too. She’d heard that Mary and Kirk James were an item, or that he wanted them to be. “Men. Can’t live with or without ’em.”

“I do think,” Mary said, “from my advanced age, that it’s important to be strong in yourself before you can be with a good man. Treat yourself well, be secure, respect yourself.”

Kayla looked at Sylvie, who was looking at her, the same skeptical expression on her face that Kayla wore. “How, exactly?” she asked.

“For me,” Amber said, “it was about being honest about my past and accepting it.”

Mary nodded. “I’m a work in progress, but making peace with the past was a big part of it for me, as well.”

Sylvie turned her copy of the book over and over in her hands. “The trouble is, my man saved me from the streets. I owe him, and being with him seemed like a step in the right direction at the time, but now... I’m less sure it was.”

Interesting. Kayla would never have guessed that Sylvie had such a rough background.

“Give yourself a break,” Amber said. “You knew what you knew, then. You know more now. Forgive yourself if need be, and then move on.”

Easier said than done. “I always feel so dumb about my past.” Kayla looked around at the other women. “I don’t know why I let my scoliosis, and wearing a back brace, govern my school years, but I did.”

Amber went over to the food table and brought back the plates of cookies and fudge, which she passed around. Kayla snagged another piece of fudge.

Mary patted Kayla’s arm. “Just because someone else has bigger problems, that doesn’t mean yours aren’t important.”

“Wearing a brace would be really hard on a middle school or high school girl,” Amber said. “Teasing and bullying are awful things.”

“Definitely,” Mary said. “Bullying drove Ria’s daughter Kaitlyn to take too many pills. She nearly died.”

Sylvie gasped. “How awful. I thought Ria had such a perfect family.”

There was a knock on the store’s front door, and Mary went to let in a last-minute customer.

“No such thing as a perfect family,” Amber said. “The point is, it’s serious and it’s worth working on, and we’re here for you. Both of you,” she added, looking at Sylvie.

Sylvie blinked. “You’re choking me up,” she said. “But it gives me the courage to take action. At least I hope so.”

“I’m going to take action, too,” Kayla said. “Not sure what the resolution will be, but I have an intent to get over the past and move forward.”

Now, if only she could do that. If only she could get over Tony and figure out what she really wanted, which would not be a meaningless first kiss. Or at least, if it was a kiss, it would have to be meaningful to both parties, not just to her.

“Maybe,” Amber said, “you shouldn’t give up on your whole past resolution. The focus could have been wrong, but is everything that happened a complete loss? Could you salvage something, if you felt stronger in yourself?”

Kayla thought about kissing Tony. Was it a complete loss? Should she give up on him because another woman was showing interest in him?

Or should she take action to explore whether there was any chance between them?

ON THURSDAYMORNING, Tony dropped Jax off at Goody’s Ice Cream for a preschool friend’s birthday party. Then he turned toward Kayla’s place, Paddington at his side.

He was determined to talk to her rather than letting things fester. He wasn’t the right man for her, but he also didn’t want to leave things uncomfortable and negative between them.

As he and Paddington turned the corner, though, he spotted Kayla parking and climbing out of her car. Just the sight of her made him happy: blond hair blowing around messily, a warm red headband, ski jacket, and jeans that even from here he could see fit like a dream.

“I was just coming to see you,” he said as they got within hearing distance.

“Funny,” she said, kneeling to scratch Paddington’s ears. “I was hoping to see you, too. Want to walk by the bay, or is it too cold for you?” She lifted an eyebrow and gave him a half smile, challenging him.

She wanted to see him! He tried unsuccessfully to tamp down the happiness that welled up inside him. “I can take it if you can,” he said, and as they turned toward the bay, he took her hand and squeezed it for a minute before forcing himself to let it go.

It was sunny and cold, and Paddington trotted along beside them, tail high and wagging, pausing often to sniff along the side of the path.

“You’d never guess he was blind,” Kayla commented. “How’s it going with him? Is he sleeping better?”

Tony nodded. “I guess all the playtime has tired him out. He’s been sleeping straight through.” He paused. “The reason I wanted to see you—”

“I was wondering—” she said at the same time. Then they both broke off.

“Ladies first.” He was really curious what she would say.

She sucked in a breath and straightened her shoulders. “I was wondering whether you and Norleen are together,” she said, lifting her chin as she looked over at him. “After we kissed, I thought...well, I thought we had something that might go somewhere.” Her cheeks flushed red, and she laughed a little. “And you have no idea how hard it was for me to admit that.”

He couldn’t resist putting an arm around her shoulders, just because she looked so sweet and vulnerable. “We could. We might, if...” How to say it? He squeezed her shoulder once and then removed his arm. “Look, I’m not into Norleen at all. I’m just, well, I’m not a good bet for any woman.”

She studied him from under long, long lashes. “Really? Why’s that?”

He blew out a sigh, his breath making steam in the air. Paddington tugged at his leash, and Tony pulled him back when he tried to follow a cawing gull right into the bay.

Tony didn’t know how much he should talk about all the reasons he wasn’t right for her.

How to explain that his temper made him say things he shouldn’t say? He’d told her about Stella, but obviously, he hadn’t made it clear enough: he’d pushed her to destruction, causing her death, causing a little boy to lose his mother.

He didn’t deserve even a little bit of happiness, not after that.

This time, it was Kayla who slid an arm around his waist, nudging her way under his shoulder, nestling against his side as they walked ever more slowly. It felt perfect. She fit perfectly against him. His heart seemed to twist in the wind, back and forth, ready to expand out of his chest, then turning away, trying to shield her from danger.

He appreciated that she wasn’t pressing him to tell more. They walked along together, and he struggled to stay focused on why this was a bad idea. Why walking down the bayside path with a beautiful woman on his arm was not for him.

He wasn’t here long, not much longer. He was so attracted. Why not give into it, just a little?

“I’m not asking you to marry me,” she said after a few minutes, practically echoing his thoughts. “I just thought it might be worth exploring a little, that’s all.”

He pulled her fractionally closer. “If things were different, I’d go for it in a heartbeat,” he said.

She looked up at him. “It was my first kiss,” she reminded him, her voice a little teasing. “And now I’m wondering, was it really as good as it seemed?”

He raised his eyebrows, staring at her. She was so sweet, so innocent, but some playful, all-woman part of her knew how to flirt.

“Well?” she asked, still in that teasing voice. “What do you think?”

Their steps slowed to a halt, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

She was looking at his face. His lips.

His heart pounded hard, a mixed drum solo of thrill and worry. He let the dog’s leash slide to his wrist, forked a hand through her soft, messy hair. “We’d better find out,” he said, his voice a little hoarse. And then he lowered his lips to hers.

Things escalated fast this time. She just tasted so good, and she wasn’t afraid now, she was into it, pressing closer, responding eagerly when he deepened the kiss. The bay, the shops across the street, the few people out and about, all of it faded and there was only Kayla, kissing him back.

Finally he lifted his head and studied her flushed face. “Was it as good as you remembered?”

One corner of her mouth turned up. “Better,” she said. She looked a little dazed. “Wow, even better.”

He looked around, felt Paddington tug at the leash, heard his deep bark as another walker with a dog came toward them. Reluctantly, he stepped away. “If we weren’t out in public...”

She stepped back, adjusted her headband. “I’m scared to ask you to finish that sentence.”

He wanted to ask her out in the worst way, wanted to ask her over. Wanted to spend time with her, private time.

Don’t do it. Think.

Paddington saved him by lunging at the dog passing by, requiring all of Tony’s focus to hold him back, and then the moment was over. But as they continued strolling along the bay, Tony was reeling.

What was he going to do about the feelings developing between them?

ASSHESTROLLEDbeside Tony, their hands linked, Kayla tried to breathe deeply, to stay calm.

Being here with him felt so good. That kiss had felt so totally, amazingly good.

Would they kiss again?

The sun sparkled like glitter on the rippling bay, but the cold breeze made her snuggle closer to Tony. When he squeezed her hand, her heart soared as high as the swooping seabirds.

Was Tony the one? Could he be the answer to her dreams of love and a family?

He said he wasn’t a good bet for anyone, but he was wrong. He was kind and funny and sexy. He was a great father figure to Jax. He’d even turned into a good preschool volunteer.

Paddington’s ears perked up at the increasingly loud gulls, and he barked and tugged at the leash. “Whoa, boy,” Tony said, easily restraining the big, rambunctious dog. Of course he did. With those muscles?

Kayla’s face heated at her own thoughts.

A car slowed, then stopped beside them.

“Uncle Tony! Hey, Miss Kayla!” Jax called from the open back-seat window.

“Jax!” Tony let go of Kayla’s hand and hurried over, and she followed, wondering if something was wrong.

“Is the party over already?” Tony asked Jax.

“It got all dark!” Jax said.

“The power went out at Goody’s,” the driver explained, and when Kayla looked closer, she realized it was Sarah, one of the preschool moms. “Oh, hey, Kayla. We were having a birthday party, but it came to a sudden end.” She looked at Tony. “I’ve been trying to call you, but when I didn’t get an answer, I figured I’d bring Jax home. I have an extra booster seat. But then he saw you and wanted to stop.”

Tony clapped a hand on his pocket. “My phone’s been turned down,” he said, as guilt flashed across his face. “I’m sorry to put you to the trouble.”

Kayla felt her own cheeks heat. Had the woman seen her and Tony walking, hand in hand? “Come on out, Jax,” she said, opening the car door. She helped Jax climb out.

“Paddington!” Jax threw his arms around the big dog’s neck, and Paddington gave him a sloppy kiss.

Tony apologized again, but Sarah waved it off and drove away.

Jax looked up at Tony. “You and Miss Kayla were holding hands,” he observed.

Tony flushed. “You’re right, we were.” He opened his mouth as if to explain further but then closed it again. He didn’t seem to know what else to say, but that was fine because Jax was already focusing on Paddington and the swooping gulls.

“Can I hold his leash?” he begged, his eyes widening into a puppylike pleading expression. “I can do it like you showed me. Please?”

Tony smiled, and that made Kayla smile, too. Jax was so cute, it was hard to deny him anything. And Tony clearly loved his nephew more and more all the time. It was great to see how their relationship was growing.

“Okay, buddy. Just while we’re on the path. When we get to the streets, I’ll need to take it back.” He extended the leash to Jax and helped him loop the handle around his wrist and grasp the length of the leash. “It seems like he knows to be more gentle when Jax is holding him,” he explained to Kayla.

Jax walked ahead with Paddington, and indeed, the dog was much calmer with Jax walking him.

Tony took Kayla’s hand again.

His palm was calloused, harder than hers. He held her hand firmly, and the pressure was warm, the touch seeming to sizzle its way to her heart.

Unlike other girls, Kayla hadn’t had a boyfriend growing up. She’d never gotten to hold hands, didn’t have the awkward, sweaty experiences her friends used to talk about while she could only listen enviously.

No, her first hand-holding experience was with a real man, who knew just how to touch her. His thumb moved over her hand, stroking it gently, and Kayla’s skin felt supersensitive. She could barely catch her breath.

Was this what love felt like?

“He’s pulling me, look, he’s pulling me!” Jax’s voice was delighted. Paddington, indeed, was tugging the leash a little, making Jax screech and laugh.

“Whoa, Buddy, don’t get too excited.” Tony smiled and looked down at Kayla. “He’s rowdier now than when I dropped him off at Goody’s.”

“Pretty sure he’s on a sugar high.” Kayla hoped her own voice didn’t sound as breathless as she felt. “Maybe we should keep walking, wear them both out some more.” It was fine with her to walk all day, as long as she could be with Tony and Jax.

“Good idea.” Tony looked down at her and squeezed her hand, and she smiled up at him.

Paddington’s loud bark broke through Kayla’s focus on Tony. At the same time, Jax screeched, now sounding upset.

“I dropped it! I dropped the leash! Wait, Paddington!”

Sure enough, the Saint Bernard was galloping toward the bay, trailing his leash.

“Paddington! Stop!” Tony’s command was loud and sharp.

But Paddington must have smelled a couple of gulls on the edge of pier that extended out into the bay, and he raced after them. There was a splash, and the big dog disappeared into the water.

“He couldn’t see and he fell in!” Jax ran toward the end of the pier, Tony following at a run.

Kayla rushed after them, her heart pounding hard. There was another splash as Jax hit the water.

Oh, no, the water’s way too cold. She ran faster.

Tony reached the end of the pier in seconds, far outpacing Kayla, and by the time she got there, he had a soaked, coughing Jax firmly in his arms. The bay wasn’t deep here, and Tony could stand.

All that was visible of Paddington was his head as he paddled through the water. Since Tony had Jax and was wading toward the little beach, Kayla focused on Paddington. “Come on, Paddington, come here!” she called, kneeling on the pier.

Paddington’s hearing was acute, and he paddled toward her, but a seagull cried out and Paddington turned toward the open water again.

“No, Paddington!”

Her scolding had no effect.

She couldn’t let the big dog swim farther out into the bay. Who knew how long his stamina would last or how the currents would affect him?

From long-ago memory, she thought of a dog program that had said you shouldn’t yell at a dog to make him come to you; rather, you should entice him with big, exaggerated gestures.

But how did you do that with a dog who was blind?

“This way! Come on, boy!” She clapped her hands and made her voice loud and happy. “Let’s go! Let’s get a treat! Come on, Paddington!”

It worked: the big dog turned and began swimming toward her. She backed down the pier toward land, calling and clapping and promising walks and treats and dinner, keeping her voice upbeat.

He paddled alongside the pier at her urging. As soon as he gained his footing, Kayla eased herself into the freezing bay far enough to grab his leash. Her heart pounding with relief, she guided him out of the water. He shook himself, spraying her with more cold water.

“Oh, Paddington!” She laughed and then hurried toward Jax and Tony.

Jax was wrapped around his uncle monkey-style, the way he’d done continually when they’d first arrived in Pleasant Shores, and Kayla had the fleeting thought of how far he’d come.

“Is Jax okay?” Kayla slipped out of her jacket, keeping a tight hold on Paddington’s leash. “Here, wrap this around him and we’ll run to my car. I’m parked right over on Front Street.”

Tony hesitated. He tried to take off his own coat, but the movement made Jax cling on tighter.

“Do it! I’m fine.” She handed him her dry coat, and he quickly wrapped Jax in it. He held the boy close as they jogged toward her car.

“That was my fault.” Tony sounded out of breath. “I should never have let him hold Paddington’s leash.”

Of course, he was blaming himself. “All’s well that ends well,” she said. “Jax is fine. Aren’t you, buddy?” She reached over to pat the child’s arm. Paddington tugged at the leash and looked back at her, his mouth open, panting. “And look at Paddington. He loved his swim! He wouldn’t mind jumping right back in.”

Jax’s teeth chattered.

“I should have been more careful.” Tony shook his head.

More beating himself up. “This kind of thing happens all the time,” she reassured him. “Kids are kids. You didn’t know Paddington would go off like that.” She reached back and rubbed the big dog’s head—he was trotting along with what seemed like a smile. “Look at you, boy, you’re laughing at all of us!”

“Paddington’s laughing?” Jax peeked out around Tony. “He is laughing! Look, Uncle Tony!”

Tony glanced over and nodded, but his lips were pressed close together.

“He’ll be fine,” she said, patting Tony’s arm and pulling out her keys to unlock the car. “They’ll both be fine. I’ll put the heater on high and we’ll be home in a flash.”

He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, and she went still, turning back to look at him.

“Kayla. You’re the best, really. Thank you for the reassurance, as well as the help.” He leaned forward and kissed her, lightly.

She reached up and touched his face. “I care about you.”

“And I care about you, a lot.” His eyes held hers, and there was promise in them. “Now’s not the time, but I want to spend some time talking to you. About...stuff.”

“Stuff, huh?” She smiled, her heart singing.

“Yeah, stuff. But first, I need to get this kiddo dry and warm.” Tony helped Jax into the car, then turned to her. “Do you have towels we could sit on? And one to rub Paddington dry?”

Good, he was getting back to normal, thinking about the little things. “One for you and Jax.” She got it out of her trunk and tossed it to him. “And one for Paddington.” She gave the dog a quick rubdown and urged him into the back seat, where Tony was buckling Jax in. Once in the car, she noticed the time. “Oh, man, I’m going to have to rush to get ready for the kids’ event at the bookstore tonight.”

Tony and Jax were both quiet on the way home, and even Paddington seemed a little subdued. But Tony kept a hand on her shoulder, and it felt wonderful.

They’d all had a scare. Kayla was so fond of all of them, and so happy to drive them home and help them.

“Thank you, Kayla,” Tony said as they approached Victory Cottage. “You saved Paddington and we appreciate it.”

“What’s life without a little excitement?” She pulled into the driveway, and Tony opened the door and got his cold, wet child and dog out of the back seat.

“Later,” he said, giving her a meaningful look that was over too soon.

“See you tonight at the store event,” she said, and then drove the rest of the way home, humming.

She could hear it in her own tone: she sounded like a woman in love. She was a woman in love. And she really, really liked the feeling.

SYLVIEHADN’TKNOWNwhen she might have the chance to put her book-club plan into action. The very next day, though, Bobby came to see her.

He hadn’t given her much warning; he said he’d had a spur of the moment desire to visit, and here he was. Surprisingly, he’d agreed to go out to take a walk after dinner, so they were strolling through the lit-up downtown area of Pleasant Shores.

Last-minute shoppers hurried through the cold air and snow flurries, some calling out greetings. It was surprising how many people Sylvie had gotten to know in just a few weeks here in town.

“Seems like you’ve made yourself at home here,” Bobby commented.

“I like it.” Maybe that was a way to initiate the breakup conversation: make it more about locales than people.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” he said. “I’ve missed you, and things have cooled off back in Filmore.”

“Things have cooled off?” She frowned. “What does that mean? Since when were things hot there?”

“Since you happened to find Jax crying and took him to his uncle’s place,” he said. “That was real good of you, but it worried a few people. I know you didn’t see the shooting, but not everyone believes that.”

“Wait a minute. You had me come here for my own safety, too? I thought I was just watching out for Jax.”

“Two birds with one stone.” He put an arm around her, pulled her closer, and she didn’t resist. Bobby was so many memories for her, so much what her past eight years had been about.

“I’d like to see the boy,” he said now.

It took a minute for her to understand what he was talking about. “You mean Jax?”

He nodded. “I don’t want to talk with him, I’d just like to see him.”

It was a strange request. “I’m not sure how... Oh, wait.” She looked back down the pedestrian mall. “I think he might be going to the kids’ event at Lighthouse Lit. We could walk by there.”

They turned around and sure enough, when they looked through the windows of Lighthouse Lit, a crowd of kids and parents were inside. She pointed. “There’s Tony, so...let’s see. Yes. Jax is the one in the red sweater. Did you ever meet him?”

He nodded. “He’s a cute kid.”

There was something odd in his voice. Wistful. She turned to study his face.

His brow was furrowed and he watched Jax with a strange intensity. His eyes were shiny, as if...

She looked at Jax just as the boy got up and chased after another child, running close to the window where they stood.

Bobby stepped back quickly, like he didn’t want to be seen. But he didn’t take his eyes off the child.

Something about Bobby’s behavior didn’t match the story he’d told her. He’d made it sound like having her keep an eye on Jax and find out what he knew was just part of his usual effort to track everything going on in Filmore’s criminal underworld. When she’d visited, she’d learned that he thought Little Bobby had been involved in Stella’s shooting.

But he was looking at the child almost as if Jax were... She stared at Bobby. “He’s not your son, is he?”

Bobby didn’t answer. Instead, as Jax passed close to the window again, he took her arm and tugged her down the walkway. “I’ve seen enough. Let’s go.”

“He’s your child.” Sylvie heard her voice going shrill and didn’t care. “That’s why you wanted me to watch out for him. That’s why you had an interest.” Her heart pounded so hard she felt like her chest was going to explode. “You had me looking out for a kid you had with some other woman. For Stella’s child.” Her mind raced as she tried to count back. “When were you with her?”

It couldn’t be true. He’d deny it.

But he didn’t. He just limped along, faster than normal, looking at the ground, the storefronts, anywhere but at her.

She stopped, tugged his arm to make him stop, too, and stared at him. “That’s why you wanted me to come here.”

“That’s part of the reason,” he said, his voice soothing. “It was to protect him, and to protect you, too. Little Bobby is volatile. This is a safe place. He doesn’t know where you are.”

“Stop patronizing me!” Sylvie’s own anger shocked her. She’d mostly fallen out of love with Bobby, wanted to break up with him, but even so, the evidence of his betrayal made her hot with rage.

On some level, clearly, she did care about Bobby. He wasn’t a good fit for her anymore, but this still felt like a huge blow.

They walked back through town in silence. Sylvie’s mind raced. Why hadn’t Bobby been willing to have a child with her, when he’d had one with Stella? How long had he been seeing Stella? Did Jax know Bobby? Did Bobby visit him, pay child support? Jax was so cute...how had she not seen that he had the same dark eyes as Bobby did?

And if Little Bobby had shot Jax’s mother...if Jax was Little Bobby’s half brother... Her head spun. “What did you see in her that you didn’t see in me?” was the question that came out of her mouth.

He looked at her then, his expression startled. “What?”

“You had a kid with her when you’d never let me go off birth control.”

Bobby shook his head, his palms lifting. “Getting her pregnant was an accident, a mistake,” Bobby said. “Look, I was just seeing her for a couple of weeks, back when we had that rough stretch.”

“A kid’s never a mistake,” she said automatically. “Does he know you?”

“Not as his father,” Bobby said. “I’ve visited Stella a few times, seen the child, but not for months now.”

“Because she died! Because your other son shot her down!”

He reached for her hand, but she jerked it away.

On the main street of town, a black SUV sped past, nearly hitting a couple who’d ventured into the crosswalk, swerving, then squealing off. Sylvie was surprised into forgetting her anger for a minute. She hadn’t seen that kind of reckless driving in Pleasant Shores. It must be someone from out of town.

Big Bobby was staring after the SUV. His face had paled.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“That car. That was Little Bobby’s car.”

Sylvie looked at him, then at the disappearing taillights. “How could that be? You said he didn’t know where Jax and I were.”

“He must have followed me here,” Bobby said slowly. “Although why...” He turned to look at her, growing even paler.

“He’s after Jax,” Sylvie said. She broke into a run back toward the bookstore. “We have to warn them.”