Antidote by LC Lehesaho

25

"Tiger, for Christ's sake, wait for a second!" I hear Puma catching up with me as I stride through the foyer, anger making me feel hot all over. Like my body can't contain the rage boiling inside me and tries to push it out of my pores.

"Listen to me." A hand grabs my arm with a sturdy grip, and Puma fucking should know better. Before I can even realize it myself, we're face-to-face, my fists full of Puma's hoodie as I press him against the wall, ready to beat the shit out of him. His light blue eyes stare back at me steadily, not making a move to fight back.

"Don't fucking touch me, ever again," I snarl at him, feeling the itch in my knuckles.

"It wasn't her—"

I throw my fist into the wall next to his ear, and I don't even feel the pain it should cause. "Shut the fuck up! Don't talk to me about her, do you fucking understand?"

Puma lets out a long sigh and looks exhausted. He is not the only one tired of this fucking life. Just when he is about to open that mouth, which will get him killed one day, his eyes trail past me, and the expression on his face tells me who it is.

"Disagreement?" Leo's voice asks calmly.

Even though I'm full of rage, I have a bit of self-control, and I let Puma go. He straightens his hoodie and takes off his cap, adjusting it to face backward on his head. I turn sideways, glancing at Leo, who leans his shoulder on the doorframe of his office, arms crossed on his chest.

"What was that about?" He shifts his piercing eyes from me to Puma.

"Cobra's date is nagging," Puma says truthfully, and for a second, I actually believe that he is telling Leo about Cobra and me. "Tiger doesn't like the Aussie."

Understatement of the Year. Leo cocks his head at me. "Is that so?"

"The guy is a piece-of-shit." I agree because it's true. "She shouldn't be going out with guys like that." With fucking anyone. "Because they will only bring us trouble."

It's not complete garbage, but like I care about that now. All I care about is his filthy hands not touching her ever again. Why the fuck did she go out with him again?

"We can handle trouble if there is any," Leo states, observing me. "You should let her live her life. Cobra said that she likes him, so if she wants to have her fun with him, she can."

My hands roll into fists at my sides at his words. She said that she likes him? What the actual fuck?

Puma clears his throat beside me and rubs his hands together. "Yeah, we'll leave it alone. Let's go, Tiger."

Leo lifts his palm. "I have a job for you two, and you can work that bloodlust out with it, Tiger."

I tilt my head, interested. I'm up for some mayhem right now, and I need someone's blood on my hands. Right now. I want to make someone feel worse than me. Why didn't she ask me?

Simple words. Why didn't she ask me?

Then it fucking hits me.

Cobra won't ask me because she doesn't want to promise me the same thing I was willing to promise her. Her words echo in my skull. I hadfun with him. I feel my chest heaving from the emotions, and I try to push it all down, not show it on the outside. It's fucking hard.

"What's the job?" Puma asks from beside me.

I know Leo is observing me, but I can't focus my eyes on him. I can't concentrate on anything.

Cobra wants to fuck him, and she went out with him.

Again, she chose him over me.

I make myself think about the way I'm going to kill him. How slowly I'm going to cut him to pieces, bit by bit. I need to imagine it, feel the satisfaction of it, so I don't feel the paralyzing pain in my heart. How can I still fucking love her even when she fights me like this? When she makes me feel like this?

Cobra knows that she is making me lose my fucking mind and still goes out with someone else.

How can I still be in love with her when it hurts this fucking much?

I need to kill him.

And she will fucking watch every goddamn second.

"Tiger, did you hear what I said?" Leo snaps his fingers, and I jerk back from my thoughts. Fuck, what?

"Yeah, sure." I didn't. Not a word.

He gives me a condemning look. "You don't usually lie to me, so I'm giving you a chance to try again."

I wipe my forehead, unable to hide the turmoil inside. "No, I didn't hear a word."

From the corner of my eye, I see Puma's eyes on me, and he looks worried. Leo stares at me for a solid minute before speaking, but it won't make me squirm this time. I have more significant issues going on inside me at the moment.

"You'll meet with Havoc," Leo states, eyeing me like I'm an unstable bomb. He's always read me like an open book. "He has a man who tried to switch sides and has been leaking out some information about Pronto Muerte. You can question him."

How fucking splendid. He can be my test animal before Aussie. I almost feel a little bit better.

"Great." I slap Puma on his back. "You'll drive, I need a drink."

Leo seems to be a little bit off today also because he nods toward the bar in his office. "Help yourself, son. Call me when you get something out of him."

The blood is harder to wash off than it is to spill. It permeates the skin like the fucking body moisturizers that women use. After washing my face and hands for the third time, I think I got most of it off.

"You ready? Your brother told me that you need to let out another kind of steam now, so we're going to the clubhouse." Havoc appears in the doorframe of the shitty bathroom. It's shitty because the entire warehouse is shitty, but the things we did to that snitch were not something you can do in a condo somewhere. Nah, we needed to be far away from people so no one could hear him scream. And boy, did he scream.

I squint my eyes at Havoc. "I ain't going to your fucking clubhouse."

He has changed his white tank to a new one because the last one was covered in blood just like mine. I didn't have time yet to go change, so I'm shirtless until we head back to Puma's convertible. I have a lot of tattoos, but man, Havoc? He is like a walking ink bottle, and I know he did most of them himself. I can see from the dirty mirror that he is now eyeing my back, but I bet he is smart enough to not ask people about their tattoos.

"Don't be such a fancy boy, c'mon. There will be a lot of nice pussy to choose from. Hell, take two if you feel like it," he says with a smirk on his face, his silver canine flashing and his eyes focusing on mine through the mirror.

"I'm going 'cause I need to stock up! If you're not coming, then walk home!" Puma yells from the open warehouse, his voice echoing in the vast, empty space. I know I smoked almost all his supplies during the weekend, so he really is going, that is for sure. I think about Cobra, what she is doing at the moment with him, and is he already inside her. Most likely because she didn't waste time at the club either. The vision of her pinned against the wall, but not by me, no. I see him fucking her, and her arms around his neck. It makes me sick.

"Yeah, why not." I feel the sinister grin creeping over my face when I remember her flaming eyes from this morning. "I might even take someone home with me, so I can have fun all night."

"That's the spirit." Havoc raises his hand for a fist bump, and I answer him, after throwing the last bloody paper towel in the garbage. I walk out beside him, making a note that he has already moved the body out of sight, probably somewhere waiting to be burned or buried. Somehow I don't think Havoc makes the effort to dig a grave.

Puma catches up with us, not wearing a single drop of blood. Why would he? He didn't participate. He never does. Now he gives me a dubious look. "Taking someone home? You sure?"

I smile at him wickedly. "Oh, yes. Why wouldn't I? It's not like I'm taken or anything. I'm single and free to do what the fuck I wanna do."

He takes hold of my forearm, stopping me. "We'll be right behind you, Havoc. I need to exchange a couple of words with my brother." Havoc nods while lighting up his cigarette and walks to Puma's convertible.

I jerk my hand, but he doesn't let go. "Don't test me again, Puma. Get your hand off me."

"I promised her to expl—"

I cut him straight off. "Not a fucking word about her. You don't want me to lose my shit any more than I've already done today, so keep your mouth shut for everyone's sake. If you mention her again tonight, even once, I'll kill everyone who comes near me. Got it? Everyone."

Puma drops his head back, taking a long breath, and wipes his face. Then he looks at me and adjusts his cap again. "It's not what you think it is."

I let out a sarcastic snort. "Like everything in life is. You should know that by now, brother."

"You'll regret it if you do what I think you're going to do," he says and lights up a joint. In the dark night, it illuminates his face with an orange glow.

"Wanna come watch me as I do it? Participate?" I sneer and turn my back to him, starting to walk to the Camaro. "At least the chick I'm gonna fuck is not your sister, so you can join me. I'll share her with you, bro."

"Don't say I didn't fucking warn you," I hear him mutter behind me, but deep down, Puma is a smart guy and doesn't push me any further.

I'm going to make her regret that she didn't ask me, and I can do it all night long.