Deceitful Lies by Brook Wilder
Chapter 13
Paige
I can’t get that awful image out of my mind. That gross finger in the box will haunt me all night. I can’t believe I picked it up, but I had to. I had to prove that I could be more than what they all expected. That horrid ring is in my dresser drawer. I slipped it off as soon as I was alone, not wishing to touch it any longer than I needed to.
But in addition to horror, there’s also a thrill, knowing that I finally have the power to take care of my family.
I can be strong.
I can be ruthless.
Just like Andrei.
All night, I think about it. I barely get any sleep. I don’t know what Andrei thinks, but he stays on his side of the bed. Did I go too far?
When I step out onto the terrace for breakfast, Eva and Emma are already waiting. I watch as Eva dotes on Emma, asking her about what she likes to do and suggesting they leave the stuffy old house and go out this afternoon. Emma agrees happily, saying she’d love to spend time with Eva. Andrei frowns slightly at his mother’s suggestion, but I smile, seeing how willing Emma is to earn Eva’s approval.
“Paige, you look lovely in your new dress.” Eva is the only one who smiles as I approach the table.
Andrei pulls out my chair and I sit down, crossing my legs. He kisses my hair, barely pressing his lips against me. Is this it? Now that I’m what they expect, will he treat me like a wife and not a lover? I banish the thoughts from my head and reach for the coffee.
“How is everyone today?” I ask cheerfully. “Is Sonya stopping by?”
“Yes, we’re taking Emma shopping,” replies Eva, her smile weakening. “Oh, would you like to come too?”
I see the sullen look on Emma’s face. She’s not ready to forgive me yet. “No,” I reply. “I have things to do here.”
It’s silent as we busy our mouths with food. Andrei glances at me and then motions to the maid to take my empty plate. She dutifully fills it with avocado, eggs and toast, and a strip of bacon. The smell reaches my nose and my throat spasms. Oh shit, not here.
The chair falls over as I jump and run as far away as I can, but it happens too quickly. I only make it to a hedge. I gasp a few times and then vomit, looking trashy as I kneel on the ground. Emma reaches me first, demanding to know if I’m okay. And then Eva and Andrei. The women fawn over me as Andrei coldly hands me a cloth napkin to wipe my face.
He kneels beside me, and the gentleness returns to his touch. “It’s okay, Paige. It’s okay. I know it’s been rough.”
I hold my stomach, not daring to look at him as I stay kneeling on the ground. Emma helps me up and leads me back to the table. The maid hurries toward us with a wet washcloth as Natasha appears, from where, I don’t know. I look weak and foolish. Poof, the pakhan’s wife has disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and Old Paige has returned.
“What happened?” demands Natasha. “Check the food.”
Eva lets out a laugh. “It’s not the food, silly girl. She’s pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Natasha twists her mouth. “Pregnant? You mean with a baby?”
Eva hugs me. “Of course with a baby. What else could it be? A giraffe?”
They all stare at me, displaying a range of emotions on their faces.
“Congratulations, Paige Geraldovna.” Natasha’s cool returns. “And to you, Andrei Vasilyevich. May your child bring you much joy.”
Natasha hurries away toward the house, and Dmitri opens the door for her. I watch as she tells him the news, and his reaction sums up what he has always thought of me. He rolls his eyes.
“Mamechka, Emma, will you excuse us?” Andrei’s voice sounds like thunder over my bowed head. He grabs a chair from the table and places me in it.
And the ball of sick weaves into a tight knot in my churning belly. I don’t dare look at him.
“Is it true, Paige?” he asks softly. “Are you pregnant?”
I nod, and then sniff. “I haven’t known long. I haven’t even taken a test. I didn’t want this … not now.”
“When were you going to tell me?” he asks.
Lying would only add to our troubles. “When I wouldn’t have been able to hide it.”
He lifts my chin in his hand, and there is tenderness in his gaze. “I will be a good father.”
There are no good fathers. Yours and mine are proof enough.
Instead, I shake my head. “How? All you know is the Bratva. You know nothing about loving a child.”
It drains my control not to say loving anybody. I don’t want to hear his response. I don’t want to know the truth.
This marriage is supposed to be fake, but now it’s all too real.
***
Quickly, I learn that I don’t have to act like a badass to earn respect; all I need to do is get knocked up by Andrei. Soft pillows are placed behind my back, and my feet are propped up on an ottoman. The cook makes a special ginger tea to settle my stomach. The guards who once scowled at me, placing terror in my heart, now wait on me hand and foot.
Nothing I wanted is denied except my freedom. As long as Andrei’s baby is in my belly, I will be forever joined to him. The thought terrifies me, but it also offers a little security. Whatever his original plan for me was, it’s forgotten. Now, I am to be the mother of his child.
Sonya sweeps into the ballroom where I once tried on my wedding dress, and despite everything that has happened, this is my favorite place in the house. She sprints toward me and gives me a bear hug as a guard drops multiple stuffed shopping bags on the table.
“Andrei opened an account at Baby Haven.” Her voice is breathless as she pulls baby clothes out of a bag. “I picked neutral colors since we don’t know the gender yet.” Sonya holds a little onesie to her chest. “It’s so cute. They have so many things.”
I finger a tiny T-shirt decorated with embroidered green leaves. “They’re adorable.” I have to admit that my baby will have all the things I never had.
“Eva told Andrei that you should be on a prenatal diet. It’s so exciting,” Sonya coos. “Have you thought of a name yet if it’s a girl?”
“What if it is a boy?” I ask.
“Andrei would have the right to name him. But you can pick the girl’s name.” Sonya pulls out a teddy bear.
“I haven’t thought about any names.”
Sonya reaches into another bag and pulls out a thick paperback book. “There are tons of baby names in here. We can pick our favorites. Let’s name the baby something modern and avoid that old-fashioned Russian stuff. Can you imagine if your child is named something like Vyacheslav or Olga?”
We spend the next hour picking out baby names while snacking on imported macarons off a cut glass plate. Andrei is doing all the things that he needs to do to take care of the baby and me, and as much as I don’t like to admit it, getting taken care of by Andrei is nice. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to indulge just a little in this fantasy come true?
The guard quickly snaps to attention when Andrei enters. Reality starts to seep back into my happiness. Andrei dismisses him from the room and stands over Sonya, who turns her attention back to the book.
“We were just picking out names, Andrushka,” she replies to his hard gaze.
He turns his attention to me. “Are you comfortable, my dear? Would you like anything from the kitchen? Mother has scheduled a manicure for you.”
“A manicure.” Sonya smiles. “Can I get in on that?”
Andrei smiles. “Of course. Anything for my sister and my wife.”
The words are meant to be kind, but Andrei still struggles with showing his softer emotions. Just like I have trouble showing my harder ones. I hold out my hand to him, and he takes it. Lifting it to his lips, Andrei presses a kiss to my hand. Once again, I’m transformed into somebody special to the most powerful man I know.
Smiling, I thank him for his generosity.
“Anything you want or desire is yours, my wife,” he whispers against my hand before he kisses it again.
And just like that, I feel my selfish heart falling in love with him again. I brush his hair with my hand and don’t care if I look like a fool in love. I am a fool being tricked back into this mess against my control. His dark eyes conceal what’s in his heart, but I see glimmers of what I hope is love.
“Andrei Vasilyevich?” Natasha stands in the door, and her mouth is a tight line.
Andrei pulls his hand away and instantly, a chill runs across my back. I stare coldly at Natasha, but her gaze is sterner than mine. She is here for business, and Andrei’s business is more important than love. He leaves me without a word and follows Natasha out the door.
I can never forget why I am here. It has never been for me to be his wife or a mother. It’s to serve a dark purpose I may never know. Andrei is a criminal; my father stole money from the Bratvas, and all of this resulted in my mother’s death. Andrei is right. I’ll never be Bratva. I’ll only be a pawn in his twisted game. And so will my baby.
“He’s delighted over the baby.” Sonya’s voice interrupts my somber thoughts. “He will be a good father. Andrei is determined to give his children everything.”
Of course. I can’t have just one child. I clear my throat. “I should probably have something healthy to eat.”
Sonya hurries away to summon the cook, and I’m left alone. I’m torn by my thoughts, but what can I do? So, I’ll do the next best thing and just accept the nice gestures. The baby clothes are scattered across the table, along with toys and rattles.
I pick up a pair of cute socks and gasp at the price tag. I could never afford all this stuff on my own, but my baby can. I’ll worry about it later, and silently hope that my child will be a girl who might end up like Sonya—someone who can grow up with just enough distance from the Bratva to receive the benefits, but one who might never endure the full force of this horrible life that revolves around betrayal, violence, secrets, and blood.
