Deceitful Vows by Brook Wilder
Chapter 56
Paige
I can’t conceal my shock when I see my father’s frail form sprawled in a recliner. His papery skin drapes over his bones like a yellowed sheet. His eyes are sunken into a withered face I hardly recognize. Life is slipping out of him with each labored breath. Slowly, he turns away from the television in the living room and focuses on me. I want to cry, but it won’t help him.
“Dad.” I hug him gently, scared that I might break him into pieces.
He barely has the strength to hold his arms around me. “I hear you didn’t go to the funeral.”
I look down as my face heats. “I couldn’t go.”
“I didn’t go either,” he reveals. “I didn’t want to be seen, and I doubt anyone would’ve wanted to see me.” He scoffs. “Kenney was there. Like he gives a damn.”
The expression I must have on my face causes him to wince. Dad quickly bows his head. It’s the look he didn’t want to see at mom’s funeral. The look of pity.
I kneel beside his chair, gently placing my hand on his shrunken wrist. “I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
“Don’t worry about me, Paige. I’m sorry for you and your sister. You’ve lost more than I ever have.”
I stare hard into his face until he raises his eyes. My emotions are tamped down, but my voice cracks when I speak. “It will be okay.”
He laughs without making a sound. “In the end, it will be.”
His concentration lands on the side of my face and remains steady, as if a beacon is drawing him in. I color deeply, realizing too late that I have on those ridiculous earrings. I debate taking them off but decide against it, hoping he won’t ask me about them.
“Where have you been, Paige?” he asks, resting his hand on mine.
“I can’t say,” I whisper.
“Emma has been working hard,” he continues. “Too hard for someone her age.”
“I know,” I reply quickly, remembering how hard it was on me to take care of the family on my own.
“And you,” he adds. “It’s been hard on you. What I’ve done has been hard on the family.” He covers his eyes with his bony hand. “But why did you disappear, Paige? I understand why you would want to leave, but you could’ve said goodbye.”
The truth sits on my tongue, but the shame of admitting that I’m Andrei’s wife holds me back.
“Dad, don’t.” Unnoticed, Emma entered the room. I don’t know how much she heard. She steps closer, almost afraid to come too close. “I’ve already talked to Paige about it.”
Dad smiles and points at the kitchen door. “Emma, could you make me some tea while I talk to your sister in private?”
Emma hesitates. Her bottom lip pokes out slightly as she restrains herself from talking back. I can guess what she’s thinking. The unfairness of being treated like a child when you’re the one doing all the work. Emma turns abruptly and rushes out of the room.
I stare at the empty doorway. “It’s been hard on her.”
Dad nods. “The doctor has given me my last deadline. The cancer is fighting back, but I’m sure you’ve guessed that. I can tell by your eyes. Your sweet face hides nothing.”
It isn’t a surprise. The distant look as if he’s already gone. The sickly smell clings to him despite the cleanliness of the house. Things have declined, and I should’ve fought harder to come back.
“I know what you’re thinking, Paige.” His cough cuts him off. “Don’t blame yourself for wanting to live while you’re still young. Don’t waste life on the dead. Not you. Not Emma.”
“You’re not dead yet.” Swiftly, I brush away a tear. “You’ll make it.”
“I don’t want to.” Dad is silent, but I give him time to continue. When he speaks again, he chokes on his tears. “The things I’ve done to this family. I just want to lie down, close my eyes, and forget. I didn’t deserve your mother.”
Dad reaches up, and his finger grazes the diamond in my ear. I freeze as he studies it hard, but his look is incomprehensible. He hesitates, waiting for me to confess, but I can’t. I won’t. But oddly, I think he already knows what’s happened to me.
“At least you’ll be able to take care of Emma,” he says. “Probably better than I have.”
“Dad.” I hold onto him, forgetting his failing strength as I cling to him.
He pushes my arm off him. “Paige, I want to go. You take care of your sister. That’s all I want. I’m stopping the payments on my treatment. Use the money on her.” He sits back, gasping. “No more after this month. It’s time to go.”
“Daddy.”
He covers his face with his hand. “Paige, you’d let me go if you knew how horrible I am.”
“Knew what?” I ask, but he won’t tell me why he thinks he’s a horrible person.
“Take care of Emma,” he demands. His voice is harsh and demanding. There’s a strange familiarity to his tone. And for a moment, I’m not sure where I’ve heard that familiarity before.
“Have you told her?” I ask.
He can barely shake his head. “No, you know she’ll fight me on it. Sass me for making a bad call.”
I laugh, but soon I’m crying; nothing can hold back my grief. I place my head on the armrest and his arm is so cold, like he’s already gone. I wish I could go back in time and never meet Andrei Barinov.
“It’s not your fault, Paige,” he says calmly, and the harsh tone is gone. “It’s life, that’s all.”
I taste snot on my upper lip and wipe my nose on the back of my hand. I rise up, and a tissue is held in front of me.
Emma.
“What’s wrong?” She speaks softly. The little tigress that greeted me is gone, and in her place is the kitten I will always remember her as.
I take the tissue out of her hand and wipe my nose. “I was supposed to meet Mom the day she was killed. I wanted to go to her funeral. I’ll always regret missing my chance.”
“Tell your sister it’s okay, Em.” Dad’s demanding tone returns. “Let her know we all forgive her.” He covers for me. The lie easily passes out of his mouth, slipping off his tongue.
Emma’s arms wrap around me. “Paige, Mom was happy to see you at the hospital. She was happy to see you doing well. You saw her again one last time. You have that. We both have that.”
I hug her back, but the squeeze I expect never comes.
***
When I walk outside to the Rover, Andrei is gone. Confused, I stare into the SUV, and I’m surprised he’d leave me here alone, especially after everything he has said. Despite being the center of attention of eight armed men, I feel abandoned. Closing my eyes, I sigh as Oleg jumps out of the car to help me in. He motions to another guard, who jumps in behind the wheel.
I grab my phone off the floor of the SUV to check for a message from Andrei. There is none. What’s wrong with me? I hate Andrei for ruining my family. I resent how he treats me as if he owns me. I’ve lost control of my life while claiming to save it. But when Andrei isn’t around, I want him back. I couldn’t handle it if I never saw him again. My thoughts wander to this morning when he wrapped his arm around me as we slept. At first, I thought he was fast asleep until he kissed my forehead.
Oleg leans into the car from the driver’s side. “Stefan will drive you home, Paige Geraldovna.”
I nod my head but won’t look over. Oleg will see the hurt in my eyes, and he’ll know why it’s there. I always look like a fool around these people. There’s a slight commotion as the guards notice a car fast approaching. I look up as Andrei’s Lamborghini pulls up, blocking our way. Then, on cue, I smile stupidly.
Andrei’s expression is serious as he gets out of his car. His lips are tightly closed as he moves with confidence toward his men. Though they may be the same height, he seems to tower over them. Andrei speaks a few words to Oleg, and the guards play musical chairs, switching positions. He looks at me, and his expression is grave. His dark eyes pin me like a hawk, and I feel pathetic for missing him. He doesn’t love me, so why am I acting so foolish? I look down at my lap and wait.
Oleg swings the passenger door open. “Paige Geraldovna, your husband wants you in his car.”
I squeeze my lips together tightly to hide the stupid grin exploding on my face. Oleg and Stefan escort me to Andrei’s car, and I lift my head like a queen, knowing the neighbors are peeking from behind their curtains. When I sit down in the passenger seat, Andrei places his hand on my thigh. He stares coolly at me for a moment and my thighs part.
“How are you holding up?” he asks.
I nod quickly to hide the tears forming. “He doesn’t want to continue his treatments. So hospice is making visits.”
Andrei is quiet for a moment, and then, unexpectedly, he reaches for me. My body tenses until I realize he’s pulling me into a hug. My mind whips around in confusion. He’s never openly shown tenderness toward me in front of his men. And my reaction is stiff as I place my arms around his back. I press my cheek into his hard muscles, smelling the scent of the cologne on his shirt and the sweat underneath.
“I’m glad you came back,” I whisper.
His body stiffens, and he pulls away to start the engine. “I went home to get my car.”
Something sounds hollow in his voice. And I recognize a lie. He pulls out onto the street, and a Rover follows behind us, but Oleg and another Rover stay behind. My body shakes as a cold chill covers my back.
“What happened?” I stare at his profile.
“What do you mean?” His eyes stay on the road.
I look behind us. “Only one Rover is following us.” I narrow my eyes. “What happened? Why did you leave?”
“Nothing has happened, Paige. I decided that your father and sister should have protection since you don’t want them at the house.”
My chest rises as my breaths become shallow. At least Andrei didn’t lie. But I don’t like how he’s trying to put it back on me. “What are you not telling me?”
He refuses to answer my barrage of questions as the car accelerates, heading to the Thruway.
“Andrei, please tell me.” I’m practically begging to hear the bad news. “What do you know that I don’t?”
He won’t answer, and my rage slowly rises. I want to yank at the steering wheel and make him pull over so he can look at me and tell the truth.
“I’m your wife, and they’re my family.” I raise my voice. “I deserve to know.”
The car slows down as his anger recedes. “Your sister may be in danger, which is why Oleg stayed behind. He will watch her twenty-four-seven.”
My heart freezes. “Will that be enough?”
“Oleg will guard your sister with his life,” Andrei replies, his eyes gleaming with confidence. “The guards will stay outside and not disturb your father. But we will always know what is going on.”
His car pulls up to the mansion, and I wait for Andrei to open my door. It’s foolish, but something in my mind has shifted. I like being treated well; I want to be treated like someone who deserves love. It’s foolish, but I want Andrei to be in love with me.
Andrei takes my hand as I exit the car, and his eyebrows lift when I don’t let go. He is handsome … what did I call him when we first met? Mr. Fucking Gorgeous. Smiling, I stare into his dark eyes, drawing me deep into his world, and I willingly go. Andrei shows me that wolfish grin he gave me on the dance floor. He pulls me tightly against his chest.
“Thank you,” I whisper as his lips hover over mine.
His kiss sends a shock through me, and I press against him, wiggling against his groin. The excitement hasn’t disappeared as I willingly surrender to him. I don’t know if he loves me, but that kiss makes me willing to pretend.
“You’re welcome, moya nevesta.”
