Between Never and Forever by Brit Benson

35

Levi’s movementsare controlled and steady. He thrusts deep into me as he rubs my clit, until I start to move against him. Forcing him to fuck faster.

“Jesus, Savannah. Fuck.”

He stops moving and lets me fuck him, and it feels so good to be in charge, even if just for a few seconds. I throw my ass back on his dick with vigor, making him groan. Making him crazy. I clench my pussy around him until I’m just at the edge of an orgasm, then he grabs my hips hard and halts me. I growl.

“Levi!” I practically shout my scolding. “Stop teasing!”

He fucking chuckles, dark and wicked and low, and it’s like my buttoned-up Levi is possessed by some kind of filthy-mouthed alpha sex god. I can barely handle it.

“I’ll give it to you when you behave.”

I let out a frustrated cry, and he slams into me again, so my cry changes to a groan.

“Fuck, like that. Please, like that, Levi.”

I know I’m a panting, begging mess, but I don’t stop. I’ll get on my knees if it means he’ll keep this pace and let me come. He keeps thrusting, faster now, giving me what I want. What we both crave.

“You’re trying to sweet talk me with your sassy mouth, now? I’m in charge, Savannah, but it might work. Try again.”

Fuck me. I’m going to die at the hands of Levi Cooper, sexed-up and exhausted, and I don’t even care.

“Please. Please. Please, Levi. Keep doing that.”

He grips my hips and picks up the pace, until it’s punishing. Until I’m crying out with every thrust and my words become nothing but jumbled nonsense. My arms shove into the back of the couch, so it almost hurts. I might even bruise, but I barely feel the sting. I don’t want him to stop. I don’t want him to ever stop. He rubs my clit again, fast and hard, and when my pussy starts to clench around him, when my belly starts to do those telltale flips, and my toes start to curl, he stops.

“Levi!” I try to push against him, and he pulls away. “Levi. Fuck. Me. Right. Now.”

He wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me to him, bending down to meet me and take my lips in a kiss. He palms one of my breasts and massages it with callused palms that make me ache in the most blissful way. When he rubs those callused fingers against my nipple, I whimper into his mouth. I tangle our tongues and clench around his dick. To torture him. To coax him back into fucking me the way I want.

I bite his lip, and he growls, then he slaps my wet, swollen pussy, sending a brilliant sting over my clit and through my body. I cry into his mouth, and he does it again, spanking my clit and making me throb. He starts to slap, hard and unrelenting as he fucks me from behind, and it feels so sinfully good that my whole body tenses. He could make me come like this, spanking my pussy with his hand while his cock thrusts in and out of me.

“I knew you’d like that. You like being spanked as much as I like spanking you.”

His voice is gravel on gravel, the way he forces it out through clenched teeth. His restraint. His control. It’s pure sex.

“Fuck, you’re flooding your thighs. My dick is soaked with you, Rockstar. Soaked from being spanked like the brat you are.”

I want to argue, want to snap back with something snarky, but I just can’t. Anytime I open my mouth, only whimpers and pleas come out. Then he pushes me back down, ass out and back sloped, and I brace myself on the back of the couch for more of him.

“Fuck, you have no idea how sexy you look like this,” he rasps.

I can feel his eyes on me, every part of me, and that turns me on almost as much as his touch. He drags his palms back down my sides until he’s grabbing the globes of my ass. He squeezes them, massaging with those talented fingers, before spreading them apart and baring me to him. He spits, and I shiver when it lands right on my ring of muscle. Warm and wet. Filthy and fascinating. I whimper, pressing closer. Wanting it. Begging for it.

“This will be mine, too.”

He moves his thumb and rubs around me, massaging his spit into my skin.

“Are you going to let me have it?”

“Yes. God, please, fuck it. Fuck my ass, Levi.”

I’ll give him anything. I’ll give him everything. I want him to take it. I’ve always been his, anyway.

He spits once more and presses lightly, barely breeching my barrier, but when I push back against him, he pulls away. I whine, and he laughs.

“Not tonight. I’m too big to take you out here without prepping you, and I want you nice and ready when I claim your ass. Trust me. I’ll make it good for both of us, but not tonight.”

I whimper and start to protest, but he moves his hands back to my hips, and silences me by pushing his dick back into my pussy. The protest changes to a moan, and he starts to fuck me again.

“Please don’t stop this time,” I beg, and he groans like he’s finally losing it like I already have.

“No more edging, baby. I promise.”

Oh, thank god.

He pulls me back up, so he can kiss me as he fucks me. I leave one hand on the couch for balance, and he moves one hand to my clit. He thrusts into me, plays with my clit, and conquers my mouth with his tongue. I’m completely at his mercy until I’m convulsing with my impending orgasm.

“There it is,” he says, never changing pace or pressure. “You’re squeezing me so tight. You want to come on my cock, don’t you Rockstar?”

“Mmhmm,” I murmur through pants.

“Then you’re going to let me come down your throat, aren’t you.”

“Yes. Yes,” I manage to get the words out just before I detonate with a cry, Levi’s name on my lips as I come around him.

He groans but doesn’t stop his ministrations until my orgasm fades. Then he pulls out, spins me around, and guides me to my knees.

I take him into my mouth eagerly, lapping and sucking and working him with my hand. He gathers my hair out of my face, then pulls it back into a makeshift ponytail. With his grip on my hair, he starts to bob my head the way he wants, and I open wide for him, swallowing around his dick every time he pushes into my throat.

“Jesus, Savannah,” he says as I gag on him. “You’re going to look so fucking good swallowing my cum. You want it?”

I hum in response. I can’t answer with my mouth stuffed full of his cock, and he smirks down at me because he knows it. Just because I can, giving him back a little taste of his own medicine, I bare my teeth and graze the underside of his dick. He hisses, tugging on my hair with a dark chuckle.

“Still a brat, then. Looks like I’ll have to spank harder next time.”

I hum again and his eyes fall shut. He tips his head to the sky and starts to thrust into my mouth faster.

“I’m going to fill this sassy mouth up, and you’re going to swallow every drop of me.”

I don’t even have to respond. He knows I will. He knows I’ll do whatever he wants.

He stops thrusting and pulls out, taking his cock in his hand.

“Open. Tongue out,” he commands, and I obey.

He strokes himself roughly until he’s shooting his release into my mouth and on my tongue. I keep my mouth open for him, my eyes wide and on his face, so I can watch his rapt expression, until he’s finished.

“Show me,” he grits out, so I stick my tongue out farther, his cum on display.

He smirks, his eyes molten lava, then he spits again. Right into my mouth, and I feel it land on my tongue mixing with his cum. He grips my chin with his thumb and forefinger and closes my mouth for me.

“Swallow.”

I swallow, then I open my mouth once more, proving to him that I did as I was told. I swallowed every last drop of him, and the absolute adoration on his face is enough to make me want him inside me again.

He pulls me to my feet and kisses me, at first roughly, but then he slows, growing softer and sweeter. Reverent and loving.

“You’re amazing,” he whispers against my lips, and I blossom under his praise.

My chest heating, my heart thrumming for a new reason.

“Now take me to your bed so I can make love to you properly.”

My head jerks back and my mouth opens, shocked, and he smiles. It’s the happiest, most beautiful smile, and I haven’t seen it on his face in a long time. He kisses me again.

“You heard me right, Savannah.” He smacks my ass, making me yelp, and then smirks. “Now do as you’re told.”

I put my hands on his chest and shove him backward, then I take a few steps toward the door.

“I hope you enjoyed the upper hand. But now it’s my turn. My bed, my rules. You better keep up.”

Then I turn around and strut to the door leading back into the house. He’s on my heels immediately, throwing me over his shoulder before I even hit the stairwell. I let out a shrieking giggle that bounces off the neighboring buildings and turns me crimson.

“Bedroom?”

“Second door at the end of the hall.”

He carries me to my bedroom and tosses me on the bed, then puts his hands on his hips, dick already hardening once more. He smirks as I gawk at him.

“Well, Rockstar. Do your worst.”

* * *

The incessant buzzing of my phone finally wakes me, and I roll out of Levi’s embrace to grab it from my nightstand.

My whole body aches. I need a hot shower and some coffee to feel halfway human again, but god, what a night. I can’t stop smiling. The moment my eyes pop open, a smile takes over my face and I have to stifle a giddy giggle.

Levi Cooper is a filthy, dirty sex god. I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s always had a subtle darkness under that good boy exterior. Understated and unassuming in the day to day, but absolutely fucking filthy in the bedroom. Or on the rooftop terrace. Or under his deck in a rainstorm. Or basically everywhere.

Yet, he can be sweet and soft, too. Sensual. Heartbreakingly attentive.

After the rooftop ravaging, by which it will now forever be labeled in my memory bank, I took Levi to my room and rode him until my legs gave out. He outlasted me, then put me on my back and slowed things down. I’ve only been loved like that once before, and it was in a ragged old rental house in Miami when I was eighteen.

Basically, he’s perfect and I’m in fucking trouble. Because I’ve already decided I want to go back to the band. I talked things out with them last night, and I think we have a chance of throwing our weight at the label to renegotiate our contract.

But I want Levi too.

I don’t know how I can have both.

I need the band. But I need Levi.

I’ve always needed him.

Next week I’ll be in Portofino, and hopefully being away from him, Brynn, and my mom will give me a chance to gain perspective. I need to troubleshoot. I need to find a solution that will let me live both lives, have both the band and Levi, without compromising anything.

After last night, I’m not willing to say goodbye again. To any of it.

I roll back to Levi’s chest as I unlock my phone and see a text and two missed calls from Mabel, along with twelve missed calls from Hammond. I check Mabel’s text thread first.

Mabes

SOS. Answer the phone.

Wake up. Urgent.

Fucking call me!!!

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I’m pulling up her contact when she buzzes through, so I answer before it gets past the first ring.

“What did I do now?”

“Have you been on the internet?”

“I just woke up, Mabes.”

My phone beeps in my ear and I pull back to see an article from my least favorite tabloid. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then I click on it. As soon as the webpage loads, my stomach falls to my feet, and I feel dizzy.

“Oh fuck,” I whisper, and I hear Mabel say no shit on the other end.

It’s grainy photos of me on the roof last night with Levi. It’s blurry and dark, and thankfully you don’t get enough of Levi to really ID him, but I’m obvious. My silver hair is like a fucking beacon. Then there’s a link to a video, and like a dumbass, I click it. I watch the whole three minutes with my heart in my throat. I don’t even blink until it’s over, then I have to rub the sting out of my eyes.

The video is grainy and dark, and again, you don’t see much, but the noises. Slapping and moaning and murmuring. At one point, you can very clearly hear me moan Oh fuck, but nothing else.

I put my phone back to my ear.

“I have twelve missed calls from Hammond,” I say to Mabel, and she snorts.

“Because the label is fucking pissed. Literally your only saving grace right now is that the article assumes you’re with Torren since we were with you last night, but Hammond knows that Torren came back with us to the hotel. He’s trying to run damage control, but honestly, I think he wants to strangle you.”

I groan and flop back on the bed, waking Levi. Sorry, I mouth to him. He raises and eyebrow, and I shake my head, then focus back on Mabel.

“At least they didn’t get much. The pictures aren’t too bad. And the video—”

“Savvy, I know you’re used to scandal and all, but this is basically a sex tape. You have a sex tape now, and it’s obviously you. You have one of the most recognizable voices in the world and now everyone knows what you sound like when you come. And if it gets out that that’s not Tor...”

My phone beeps and I pull it back to see Hammond calling. Goddamn it.

“Mabes, I gotta go. Ham’s calling, and I might as well bite the fucking bullet.”

“Good luck, bitch.”

“Hey, Mabes,” I say, just before she hangs up.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

She’s silent for a moment, long enough that Ham’s call goes to voicemail before she speaks again.

“You know I love you, right? This band is the closest thing to family I’ve ever had. You’re my sister. Things got so messed up, and we lost sight of what’s important. But I fucking love you, Savannah, and I just... I don’t want anyone to hurt anymore. None of us. Not me or you or the guys. Fuck not even Ham, even if he is a prick.”

I laugh with her and then wipe away a few tears. I hear her sniffle on the other end and sigh.

“If you want to leave the band, I get it. I don’t hate you for it, and I don’t want to be in Heartless without you. I was just scared of losing my family, but I don’t want it without you. So, no matter what happens here on out, I got you, okay?”

“Okay,” I rasp. “I love you too, Mabes. And I love our family. Just...”

What do I say? I want us back? I want what we had? Let’s just erase everything and start over? Is it even possible? I glance at Levi. He’s watching me closely, and when we make eye contact, he forces a smile. I love him and Brynn. I love Mabel and the guys. But am I going to have to lose one to have the other? I sigh, and then my phone starts beeping with another incoming call from Ham. I groan.

“I gotta go. Ham again. I love you.”

“Love you,” she says, then I click over to Hammond’s call.

I don’t even have a chance to say hello before he blows up on me.

“Have you lost your fucking mind, Savannah? On a fucking roof? With someone WHO ISN’T YOUR FIANCE?”

“Not my fiancé, Ham.”

“Savannah, this is serious! I am fucking working my goddamn ass off trying to cover yours, and you can’t even stay out of trouble for a couple of months? Are you using again, too? Were you fucking high wh—”

“No, Hammond, Jesus Christ. I wasn’t high. I wasn’t drinking. I’ve been sober for almost a year. Give me some fucking credit.”

“I’ve been trying to give you credit and then you MAKE A FUCKING SEX TAPE!”

I hold the phone away from my ear as he bellows some more. The label this. Covering my ass that. I feel fucking guilty, but it has nothing to do with Hammond or Torren. I’ve already made up my mind to go back to the band, so this fake engagement bullshit has about run its course. But this is going to piss Levi off.

He didn’t even want to be photographed with me. He’s going to lose his damn mind when he finds out the most popular skag mag in America has a three-minute video of him fucking me on the roof.

“Hammond,” I shout, trying to stop his tirade. He doesn’t even pause. “HAMMOND, shut up! I get it, okay? I’ll figure out how to fix it.”

“You better hope nobody finds out that’s not Torren with his dick in you, Savannah. You won’t be able to come back from that. Just lay fucking low until I can figure out how to clean up your mess again.”

Then he hangs up on me.

Hehangs up on me, and the role-swapping puts me even more off-center. I drag my hand down my face, then sit up and turn to Levi.

He’s sitting on the bed with his bandaged back to me. His cuts are healing, but the skin is still red and swollen around the gauze. Two days ago. Three? How long ago was it that we were sucked into those rapids? And why does it feel like this, whatever is coming, might be worse?

“Levi,” I say tentatively. He doesn’t answer, so I inch toward him on the bed. “Levi.”

I put my hand out to touch his arm, but he stands quickly, brushing off my touch and then showing me his phone. He has the article open, and he is literally shaking with anger.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry, Levi. They don’t know it’s you. They don’t kno—”

He hurls his phone at the wall and my words incinerate in the rage emanating from him. He turns back to me and grabs my shoulders.

“You think I’m mad about that? Is that what you think?”

My mouth opens, then shuts, and I shrug.

“Yes? You said you didn’t want the—”

“Torren fucking King, Savannah. All of America thinks you were fucking Torren King last night, but you are mine. Mine. Do you get it?”

His chest is heaving, his nostrils are flaring, and his teeth are clenched tight. The way he’s shaking should scare me, but his grip on my shoulders is still gentle. It could just as easily be a caress.

“I don’t get it,” I say honestly. “You don’t want to be in that magazine. You were adamant. You didn’t want to be in the press.”

He drops his hands and steps backward, clamping his eyes shut.

“I know. Fuck, I know.”

He drags his hands through his hair and pulls at the root, and I wince for him.

“Fuck, Savannah.”

“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”

He sighs, but he doesn’t open his eyes, and his body doesn’t loosen. Anger and something else are still surging through him, rolling off him in waves.

“No. No, this isn’t your fault. I was an equal participant. I could have stopped it.”

“I’ll figure out how to fix it. I’ll keep your name out of it, Levi, I swear.”

“You shouldn’t have to keep my name out of it. If anyone is going to be in a leaked sex tape with you, it should be me. Not Torren King. Not anybody. It should fucking be me, but—”

“But it can’t.”

He shakes his head in response. It can’t be him.

“So, what does this mean, then? You can’t be with me and avoid the media attention, Levi. Me and the press, we’re unfortunately a packaged deal. Match made in hell. There’s no escaping them. Especially not when...well...”

“You’re going back to the band.”

His statement is resigned and tired. Not sad, but hollow, and it guts me. He already knew, but he was hoping against all reason that he was wrong. I swallow hard and nod.

“I have to,” I whisper, my voice shaking as I fight back tears. “I have to, Levi.”

“I know.”

He crosses the floor and pulls me into a hug.

“You belong on that stage, Sav. You do.”

I feel him kiss my hair, tightening his hold around me.

“I know.”

But I belong to him, too...