No Chance by Lisa Suzanne
CHAPTER 48: BRETT
I made it.
I can’t fucking believe I made it before she filed those papers.
When I really think about it, my life has been a series of really good luck. I escaped my parents’ house as an eighteen-year-old and landed on Tommy’s couch. We recorded an album and eventually got picked up by Ashmark. I get to play drums and travel the world with my best friends.
And now I’ve got the girl and the kid and the happily ever after.
It feels too good to be true, and I’ve learned in my life that when it feels too good to be true, that doesn’t mean it is. That means you should question it, and proceed with caution, but maybe it really is what it is. All those other things that happened felt too good to be true at the time, and my entire career still does. But it’s all real, and it’s all mine, and now I’m adding something else to that mix as the two people who make me feel things I’ve never felt before become a permanent, legal part of my life.
Well, one of them is legal. The adoption papers have been filed, and now I’m following Hannah back to her apartment.
As for the legality of the other...well, that’ll happen. I don’t have a ring or anything yet, but I’m also not in some huge rush. We know each other pretty well after living on a bus for nearly three months together, but I wasted a lot of that time. We still need to really get to know one another and figure this out. And we will. Just the way she looks at me tells me we will.
Just the fact that she forgave me tells me we will.
Once we’re back at her place, I really think about hopping right into bed. But I feel like she deserves a bit of an explanation first.
“Where’s Chance?” I ask as we walk through the door into the same shitty apartment I remember—but it’s not quite as shitty. That new carpet and fresh coat of paint on the walls were minor things I wanted to do for her the first time I saw the place, and it looks good. It was well worth it.
“I did some research and found him a really good daycare.” She sets her keys on the counter and moves toward the kitchen table, where she slides into a chair. “I have another couple hours before I usually pick him up. It gives me a chance to get my schoolwork done and clean up the apartment, search for houses, go to my grief group, things like that.”
My brows dip. “I feel like I’ve missed a lot.”
She chuckles, and it’s that gorgeous, tinkling sound I fell in love with the first time I heard it.
“Schoolwork?” I ask, sliding into the chair across from her. “Are you back in your social work classes?”
She shakes her head and looks a little embarrassed. “Photography.”
I smile, and I feel like it lights up my whole face. “Yeah?”
She nods.
“Good for you, babe. I’m proud of you for going after what you really wanted.”
“I think I just realized I wanted to help kids in the foster system and that’s what I was going to school for, but it wasn’t really ever my passion. There are other ways I can help without sacrificing my own dreams, and so I signed up for some online courses.”
The passion in her voice is evident as I just hear her talk about it.
I stand up and grab my duffel, and then I rustle through my bag. “On that note, I brought you something. I haven’t had time to wrap your present or Chance’s, but I just wanted to make you a proposition.”
I pull out the bag I brought for her and hand it over. Her jaw drops when she sees what’s inside.
“Holy shit,” she murmurs. “This camera costs like four thousand dollars.” She glances up at me. “This is for me?”
I nod and wink at her. “Well, it’s for Capital Kingsmen’s permanent photographer, so if you want the job, you can have the camera.”
Her jaw falls open again. “Are you kidding me?”
“I’m not. I think it all worked out pretty well on tour, you taking care of Chance, and Amanda helping out, and you taking our pictures. So on that note, move to California. Move in with me. I want you and Chance in my house and part of my life. Photograph us during our entire process of building an album. Come with us on tour, all the tours.” I reach across the table and take her hands in mine. “Be with me.”
Her cheeks turn red. She brushes some hair off her forehead, and her fingers are shaking. “I...I don’t know what to say,” she stutters.
“Say yes, Hannah.” My chest tightens as the very real possibility that she might not say yes hits me. It’s always been there in the back of my mind, but I refused to acknowledge it out of total fear.
But her next word tells me that I don’t need to fear. I don’t need to be scared. I just need to trust.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Yes?” I repeat, my brows both shooting up.
She giggles. “Yes!”
I stand and pull her out of her chair into my arms. I swing her around, and when I set her down, I press my lips to hers. When I break the kiss, I stare down into her beautiful honey brown eyes. “I am so in love with you.”
She reaches up for a brief kiss to my lips. “Good,” she says. “Because the feeling is mutual.”
I laugh.
“Can I ask you something?” she asks.
“Of course.”
She grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch, and we sit. “What changed?”
We’re still holding hands, and I draw a pattern on the back of her hand as I make my confession. “The last couple weeks have been...life-changing. I, uh, made some really stupid mistakes when I was trying to manage the pain I felt in losing you, and it made me see that I couldn’t keep going down the path I had chosen since it was very much the wrong one.”
She squeezes my hand. “What mistakes?” she whispers.
I twist my lips then blow out a breath. “I overdosed on some painkillers. I passed out at a club and was unresponsive. Scared the shit out of Tommy, who called nine-one-one and probably saved my life.”
“Oh my God, Brett,” she says softly. She touches my eyebrow tenderly then cups my cheek with her soft hand, and I lean into her touch. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. Really, I am. But an experience like that will change you, you know? I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect. I’ll still call him the kid and I’ll still make mistakes and I’ll still retreat when I get scared, but I want to get scared with your hand in mine. Or your hand holding Chance’s and mine holding his other hand while we swing him up into the air.”
She laughs.
“Life is short, which is something you know far too well. I don’t want to spend another second apart from you and the kid. I’m taking my Chance on love, if you will.” It’s probably the single cheesiest thing I’ve ever said in my entire life, and I love every part of it.
She grins. “Let’s go get him.”
I glance at the clock then raise a brow at her. “You said two more hours, right?”
She raises a brow back. “I did say that.”
I lean in toward her and keep moving until she’s flat on her back and I’m hovering over her. I nuzzle her nose with mine. “We can still pick him up early. I only need, like, ten minutes tops right now.”
She laughs. “Make it twenty at least. You know, for my sake.”
I cover her mouth with mine and drive my hips toward hers, and then there’s no more laughing.
God, I want this. I need this. Because this right here? This woman beneath me, clawing at the bottom of my shirt to get her hands underneath it and on my skin as her tongue batters against mine? This is pure fucking happiness.
The painkillers and the drugs and the alcohol—none of it ever had the power to actually numb the pain because what I have with her is too damn powerful. The highs and lows I’ve experienced over the last few months are incredible, and they all started when she bravely took a chance to find me at a meet and greet in her hometown.
If she hadn’t done that, I still wouldn’t know about my son, and I’d still be blindly following Tommy to clubs and bars to find something that could make me feel good for one night. I’d still be blind to what I could potentially have with one woman—the right woman in all the wrong circumstances—and how life-changing it could be to feel real happiness instead of confusing a few moments of instant gratification for that feeling.
That other shit’s all in the past now.
It’s me and her and our son now. I know she’s not his mother by blood, but she loves him the same as a blood mother would. And the paperwork is filed now. From this day forward, in my eyes, she’s his mother. And someday, you know, far, far, far down the road, maybe we’ll have the discussion where we consider giving Chance a sibling.
But for now...it’ll be fun practicing.
With that thought, I pull her shirt over her head and help her sit up so I can get her bra off. I rub my face over her tits and she moans at the feel of the scruff on my cheeks roughly scratching her skin. I suck her nipple into my mouth and tongue the tight bud, and her hips jerk up at the feeling.
She pushes at the top of my jeans, her signal that she wants them off, and I do the lady a favor and hop off her, get rid of my shirt, pull my pants off along with my boxers, grab a condom, and roll it on all while she shimmies out of her bottoms.
And then I pull her to standing and wrap my arms around her for just a beat to remind myself that this is real. I press a soft kiss to her shoulder, and she sighs in complete and utter bliss.
I don’t think either of us really believed we’d get here again, and yet here we are. Life is full of surprises. Some are tragic, but making it past those tragedies are what make you stronger, and if you can emerge holding someone’s hand, then you’ve found a bond for life.
I sit on the couch because as much as I want to hold her in my arms forever, I also want to plunge inside her and stay there a while, and on top of all that, I’m anxious to see my son. I pull her down so she’s straddling my lap, and then I hold my cock up to help her slide onto it.
I grunt my way through her body slowly accepting me in, and fuck.
My chest races with exhilaration as tingles bite down my spine.
Has it ever felt this good?
No. The answer is no. Because I’ve never been in love with a woman I’ve had sex with before. And that’s what makes this different. It isn’t just sex. It’s more than just pleasure. It’s a deep connection and it’s the promise of tomorrow and it’s all the things I’ve never had before.
Fuck if it isn’t perfection being back inside her. Her tight little pussy clamps onto me, and I’m going to come way too early.
She grips onto my shoulders, the claws coming out and digging into my skin in that hot ass way I love as she closes her eyes at the perfect fullness of my entrance. I slide my hands under her ass and pull her up, and we fall into a rhythm. I lean forward and pull her tit back into my mouth, and she pushes her chest into me as she leans back to really relish the pleasure.
She bounces on my dick and I suck on her tits and then I reach down to brush her clit.
Her claws dig deeper into my shoulder, and I can’t help but say what’s on my mind. “Fuck, Hannah, you feel so good on my cock.”
“Oh, God, Brett,” she murmurs, her voice nearly incoherent. “Say more dirty things to me.”
“Come for me, baby. I want to feel your pussy get so tight on me that it makes me come too.” My voice is raspy as I strain to hold it together. My balls are drawing up as fire rips down my spine, and I know it’ll only take one tiny thing to push me over the edge. I’m so close, but I want to come with her, not before her. “Now you say something.”
“Your dick feels so good inside me,” she says tentatively.
God. Hearing her talk about my dick is too much. “How good?” I prod.
“Like heaven. It’s so hard and thick, and oh, oh, oh,” she says as I push up a little harder into her. “When you take my nipple between your teeth, the feeling shoots straight down between my legs.”
“Where?” I ask.
“My pussy,” she says, and her cheeks turn red as she says the word.
“This pussy?” I ask, and I thumb her clit again.
“Yes,” she groans.
“This hot cunt right here?” I ask.
She moves up and down. “Yes, that’s the one. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, God, I’m about to come! Oh!”
Her sweet voice combined with all the pleasure evident in her gasping is what does the trick for us both.
“Oh fuck, I’m coming too,” I yell, and we both grunt and gasp our way through a shared release. She grips onto my shoulders as I work to keep my hand between us and on her clit, and I clasp my mouth onto her nipple as she thrashes around, pleasure ripping through her body just as it’s doing to mine. I tongue her nipple over and over as she squeezes her whole body around me, and I growl through my own orgasm as the waves of pleasure hit me over and over and over.
Eventually the climax starts to wane, and as we both slow our physical movements, our gasps relax into panting. She clings onto me and I onto her as we hug naked on the couch, her straddling my lap as my dick starts to relax still inside her.
I draw in a deep breath and blow it out, and it’s a dramatic shift, like I’m drawing her inside me as I let go of all the pain of the past...as I finally allow myself to just be happy.
