DragonRider by S. Rodman

Chapter thirteen

the scoff hall being noisy chaos. I’ve ventured here a few times now, but it’s still overwhelming. A large hall lined with several long oak tables, filled with rowdy riders and rider-kin. 

There is a table just for riders, which I think is pompous, but I can’t exactly waltz in here and demand hundreds of years of tradition are changed just because it affects my sensibilities.

Natasha and Rowan wave at me as I pass. I wave back and wish I could join them but I doggedly make my way to the rider table.

Cai is sitting at the head of the table, as usual. He is back in riding leathers and looks totally divine. Regal and aloof. Things that should not do it for me, but for some reason they really, truly do.

I take an empty seat towards the bottom of the table. Delicious dishes are already placed in the middle and it’s a case of grabbing a plate and helping yourself. The informality surprised me, the first time I saw it, now I appreciate it. A stuffy, formal dinner every day of your life would be hell. Sometimes you just want to eat.

As I heap my plate high, I can feel Cai’s gaze on me but I will not look at him. Mostly because I don’t want to swoon at the dinner table. I really need to sit myself down and have a good long chat with myself. Do I really have a huge crush on two very different men? Shouldn’t I choose one? Or is that unnecessary now that I’m a rider and as Harlen pointed out, full moons happen every month?

Come to think of it, how does that work with relationships? Do riders have relationships? Does everyone just understand that full moons mean monogamy is out of the window? Or do dragons respect their riders’ pairings and similarly pair up?

As I look around the chaotic, noisy hall, I get the impression that this community being a polyamorous love fest is a far more likely answer. And I have absolutely no idea how I feel about that. I’ve never questioned monogamy and always just assumed it was the only option. Of course I knew other types of relationships existed, it is just that exploring them never crossed my mind. Until now.

Could I have both Cai and Harlen? And not have to choose? A warm tingling feeling coils in my guts. But I’m really getting ahead of myself. I’m pretty sure both men are interested in taking me to bed, but while Cai already has, thanks to the full moon, nobody has hinted at a relationship. At all. It’s probably not the way things work here.

Okay, that thought makes me sad. Seems I might be on board with polyamory, but not friends with benefits. I think I want a deeper connection. I want love.

I snort over my mouthful of mashed potatoes. Now I really am being ridiculous.

I swear I feel Harlen’s presence a few heartbeats before he jumps into the seat next to me. His sudden appearance scatters all my thoughts. He smells good. He is close enough that I can feel his body heat and I love it. It’s a part of him that I get to keep.

He flashes me a quick grin that makes my heart do a somersault. I’m probably staring at him with a stupidly soppy expression. A movement at the head of the table catches my attention and before I know what I’m doing, my eyes are locked with Cai’s. The look he gives me is truly terrifying and my heart starts racing for an entirely different reason.

I blink, and Cai’s face is blank, stony. Emotionless. Did I just imagine that? What the hell is going on?

Before I can ponder that question, a wail fills the air. Startling me and stealing my full, undivided attention. It’s screeching, insistent. A sound of impending doom. I freeze in fright but everyone else jumps to their feet and swiftly, efficiently, files out of the hall.

Numbly, I trail after Harlen.

“It’s an attack,” he confirms.

Suddenly Cai is right beside us. “You haven’t finished your training, Kirby. You are staying here.”

My feet take root to the floor beneath me. My mouth drops open. I want to say something, anything. But what is there to say? Cai is right. If I went, I’d be far more a hindrance than a help. But staying here while they go off into actual real-life frigging battle is awful.

As I stand here, riders walk past me. I’m like a stone in a stream. My gaze is fixed on Harlen and Cai’s backs until they are out of sight. They don’t look back. They don’t offer any words of comfort. Nor should they. They have far more important things to deal with than my emotions and I’m not so needy as all that.

The hall feels empty with all the riders gone. The atmosphere is sombre and quiet. Rowan and Natasha are by my side and I didn’t even notice them approaching.

“What do we do?” I ask in a hoarse rasp.

Rowan sighs. “There is nothing we can do.”

“Except double check the infirmary is stocked and ready,” adds Natasha.

“And wait,” says Rowan.

I think I’m going to be sick. I feel too hot and too cold. My head is spinning. Cai and Harlen are in mortal danger. What if they get hurt? What if they die? Is there really nothing I can do?

“Be calm, Kirby. We have done this thousands of times,”says Ri.

A strange whimper escapes from my throat. “You are going too?”

“Of course. I always fight. All dragons do, bonded and unbonded. Soon you will be able to join me and it will be glorious.”

“Be safe,”I plead, pouring all my love, hope and concern into my words.

Ri rumbles his appreciation and I feel him take flight. I hastily withdraw from the bond as much as possible, the last thing I want to do is distract him and cause a disaster.

This is awful. Three people that I care about are in mortal danger and all I can do is stand here. Useless, helpless. I have an urge to run up onto the battlements, part of me seems to think that watching will somehow help. As if my sight has any super powers. But I wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway. Dragons fly far and fast. The fight is not going to be over the castle.

The only thing I can do is wait. Wait and make preparations for their return.

It may be nearly summer solstice and the shortest night of the year, but tonight is going to be the longest night.