DragonRider by S. Rodman
tone nearly makes me jump out of my skin.
I whirl to find him lurking in my doorway, dressed in his riding leathers and sneering at me condescendingly.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I can’t get these goggles to fit.”
I turn back to the mirror and continue fiddling. I’ve flown a few times now, but this is the first time Cai has decreed that I need goggles. Apparently we are going to be going fast enough to need them. I’m both excited and terrified.
Cai strides up and stands in front of me, super close. So close that if I stuck out my tongue, I could lick him. Would that make him mine? According to the TikTock videos about, ‘If I lick it, it’s mine’, it would. I stifle my inane giggle, as he ruthlessly pulls my goggle straps around.
An image flashes of my bathtub dream and I flush. There is no sign of that man standing before me. This man would never be all soft and pliant for anyone. It had to have been a dream and I’m in awe of my subconsciousness’s imagination. Where did it get the idea of Cai surrendering from? How did it know it would be hotter than hell?
Cai steps back and stares at me with narrow eyes. I swallow. Please, please don’t tell me he is a mind reader. Cold horror and terror snakes in my guts. If he heard that thought…
“There,” he says.
Only now do I realise that I am looking at him through my goggles. My hands fly up and run along the leather straps. Snug, secure and comfortable.
“Thanks!” I say.
Cai nods sharply, turns on his heels and strides away. I jog to catch up with him. Somehow his order to come with him was clear in every line of his body, without him saying a word. And, as usual, I find myself helplessly obeying him. I should hate it. Part of me does despise it. But it’s also super sexy. And apparently I have a filthy mind. He is the flight commander, people are supposed to obey him without thought. It’s how fighting forces work. Trust me to turn it into something kinky.
Except I swear I never had a kinky thought in my life until I came here. I sigh. Well, Cai and Harlen are both ridiculously, stupendously good looking. It’s not like I can help it. I’m only human, it’s not my fault.
Harlen is waiting by the entrance to the stable, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed. He looks damn fine in riding leathers too. These men are going to be the death of me, I swear. I’ll swoon one too many times, or my heart will flutter too hard, and I’ll drop down dead.
Harlen grins and gives me a wink, as if he knows exactly what I am thinking. He pushes himself off the wall with an effortless grace that does not help my imminent demise in the slightest.
He falls into place beside me as we walk over to the saddles.
“You alright?” he asks.
“Yeah. You?” I manage to say.
I think I pulled it off and sounded normal and not like a thousand naughty thoughts are running wild through my mind, having a little orgy of their own.
“Yeah, all good here,” he says easily.
His tone gives nothing away. Oh well, if he has discerned my filthy imagination, it seems he is not going to use it against me. Thank heavens for small mercies. Perhaps he feels empathy towards a kindred spirit, because I’m quite sure that nearly all his thoughts are positively depraved.
We grab our saddles and walk down to where our dragons are waiting. As soon as I see Ri, I can’t stop running over to him. He lowers his head so I can give him the head rubs I know he adores. We exchange warmth and affection through our bond but no actual words.
I breathe in spicy dragon scent and feel calm, content. Happy. After a moment my skin tingles with awareness. Someone is watching me. I look over and meet Cai’s intense gaze. He is standing so close to Je that they are touching, from Cai’s shoulder, to his ankle. One of Cai’s hands is idly stroking Je’s eye ridge, but the rider’s attention is fixed on me. I can’t read his expression. I have no idea what he is thinking, but his scrutiny is unsettling so I turn and face Harlen instead.
Harlen is in front of Zh, scratching her nose. His brown eyes are filled with love and it is touching to see. Zh’s golden scales gleam even in the dark of the stable. She is a fair bit larger than Ri and Je, and ferocious looking. Ri told me that she has never lost a fight, and I can see why.
“Let’s ride,” orders Cai as he swings up into Je’s saddle.
The movement is fluid, confident. Graceful. It makes me feel entirely too hot. Every frigging time. I need to remember not to watch.
Cai start’s adjusting his goggles and mask and I haven’t even put Ri’s saddle on yet. I jump into action and complete the task quickly.
“Tighter,” says Ri.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And I don’t want the saddle to slide mid flight and send you hurtling to your death,” answers Ri while adding a very vivid and entirely unnecessary mental image of me falling through the sky.
“Are you saying you wouldn’t catch me?”
“I’d try.”
“You’re worried because you think you would fail?”
Ri huffs. “Of course I wouldn’t fail. I never fail. Just tighten the girth!”
I laugh and do as I’m bid. Then I swing up onto Ri’s back. One day I’ll make it look as good as Cai does, but for now I’m just glad I can make it without huffing and puffing.
Harlen is mounted too and putting his goggles on. I missed him vaulting onto Zh’s back, which is probably a good thing. Too much swooning before flying can’t be good for one’s ability to not fall off. I have no idea why a good-looking man swinging up onto a dragon’s back is so alluring, but I just have to accept that it is and deal with the effects.
Je and Cai drop first. Then it’s my turn, and Harlen is going to bring up the rear. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the stomach churning, terror-inducing drop. But it is exhilarating and well worth enduring for the joy of flying that follows.
Ri’s dark wings unfurl and I can’t help yelling in exuberant glee. Ri’s amused pride swirls around me. Up ahead of us, Je’s emerald scales are glimmering against the cloud filled dark sky. Ri banks to get us into formation. I look over my shoulder. Harlen and Zh are right behind us. We are in a staggered line, like migrating geese. Not that I would ever tell Ri that.
I can already smell the ocean. Dragons have cloaking magic, anyone looking up at the night sky won’t see a thing, but over the sea is even safer. There are no eyes out here to somehow see past the magic.
The few ships that pass through the seas off the coast of Wales rarely have people on deck. Freight ships and fishing vessels navigate by machinery and the crew are too busy working to star gaze.
Pale water soon appears below us. The waves mere wrinkles at this height. The dragons catch an updraft and the steady beat of their wings still to a glide. Silence embraces us. The wind ruffles my hair and whistles over my goggles but there is no other sound. I’m gliding through the night sky with Ri and I feel a part of it.
Cai and Harlen and their dragons are with me. And I feel I am a part of them too. I’m not an outsider looking in. We are together. We are one.
This moment feels magical. I feel as if I might burst with happiness. For the first time in forever, I feel the warm glow of companionship. I feel like I belong. I have a place in this crazy world. I am complete.
“Ready?” Cai’s voice cackles in my ear and I jump.
I’d forgotten about the ear piece. Mages are a practical bunch. If technology can do the job well enough, we won’t waste magic on it. It’s good to know that riders are just mages with wings.
“Ready,” I confirm.
A portal opens up above me. Sunlight streams out of it. I see green trees at an angle that is disorientating. I urge Ri closer, by sending him a mental image of where I need to be. Two flaps of his huge wings and we are there. A quick flurry of hand gestures from me and the portal slams shut. I’m about to gloat, when I spot another portal at my three o’clock. Bastards. I should have known they wouldn’t make this easy.
Ri rushes towards it. I haven’t even closed it when another one appears. Breathless and dizzy, Ri and I race across the sky slamming portals shut as quickly as Cai and Harlen can open them.
I’ve lost count but I think it’s been six, when something falls shrieking past me. It has a long inhumanly thin body covered in clammy looking grey skin. White feathered wings are folded along its back. It’s diving head first towards the earth.
“What the fuck is that!” I exclaim.
“A mirage of a tylwyth,” says Cai.
“Nobody said they were so fucking ugly!”
Harlen laughs.
“Catch it!” barks Cai.
“You heard him, Ri!”
Ri folds his wings and we fall. My stomach rises up into my throat and I can really see why we need goggles and masks. The force of the air rushing past me is intense. I wouldn’t be able to breathe or see without protection.
Ri turns as we fall, so we are spiralling down the sky. It’s dizzying and exhilarating. We gain on the tylwyth. The creature twists and turns, trying to evade us, but I have it. I cast out a blast of magic and disintegrate it.
Dark wings unfurl, ceasing our plummet, and my guts lurch again. But I don’t hurl. I’m exhausted, spent and dizzy. Breathless but exuberant. I did it. I can do it. Surely they will let me join them in a real battle soon?
Zh and Je drop down beside us. The dragons spread out their wings and we fly side by side, wing tip to wing tip as the waves swell below us.
Harlen grins at me and Cai nods. They are both proud of me. I could burst with pride.
As one, we turn towards home. And that thought stretches my beaming smile even further, so much so that my face hurts. Home. The most beautiful word in any language. And one I can finally use.
I’ve been tossing and turning in my bed for what feels like forever. Whatever I try, counting sheep, stilling my breathing, meditating, I just can’t find sleep. I’m too wired after that glorious fight and mock battle. It’s going to be dawn soon, so I might as well just give up and go for a walk. The view from the battlements is stunning and I can watch the sunrise. That will be a perk of being awake at this ungodly hour.
I throw my tatty robe over my pyjamas and head out. Ri is fast asleep, deep in his lair in the mountain. It would be cruel to wake him just to keep me company. So I leave him be.
As I make my way up the stone spiral staircase, I’m startled by a dark shadow up ahead. It’s Cai. He is dressed in jeans and a black hoodie and is inexplicably on his knees. He is breathing heavily and those look like tears on his face. His pale hair is all mussed.
“Cai?” I ask tentatively.
“Fuck off,” he says without force but his voice is hoarse and rasping.
He flows to his feet and barges past me, fleeing down the stairs and back into the castle. Should I go after him? I get the distinct impression he will disembowel me if I do.
My feet carry me up onto the battlements while my mind puzzles what it just saw and what my best course of action is. Then my gaze falls on Harlen, leaning on the battlement wall, enjoying the view and a vape. The relief I feel is immense. He will know what to do. I hurry over to him.
“I just saw Cai on his knees, he looked like he had been crying and his voice was all hoarse,” I blurt.
Harlen turns to face me. Even in the dark, the mischievous gleam in his eyes is clear.
“Sounds like someone was a very lucky bastard.”
I stare at him in confusion for a heartbeat and then my stupid, ignorant mind catches up. My hands fly up to cover my gaping mouth. Oh, my god. Cai gave someone a blow job. That’s why he was like that. Oh lord, given the state of his hair, and his tears, it was quite a…um vigorous one.
All sorts of very naughty images start to crowd at the corners of my mind, gleefully wanting to torment and horrify me.
“Lucky bastard? Does that mean you are jealous?” I babble in an effort to keep my vivid imagination at bay.
Harlen chuckles. “You’ve seen Cai, right? With your eyes? Who wouldn’t want that?”
I drop his gaze. All sorts of emotions swirl through me, all of them unpleasant. Most of all I’m jealous. In all sorts of ways. I’m jealous that I wasn’t the one having fun with Cai, even though I can’t imagine doing that to him. I’m jealous that Harlen likes Cai. Both because I want Harlen to like me, and because I like Cai and I don’t want anyone else to.
A warm gentle finger slips under my chin. Harlen gently tilts my head up so that my gaze finds his. His eyes are dark and all too knowing.
“I have room in my heart for more than one person,” he says softly.
My breath hitches. Does he mean that, or is it merely a damn good line? I stare into his eyes and try to read him. He seems extremely sincere as far as I can tell.
I step back to free myself from him and try to gather my thoughts. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating. I lean on the wall next to him and look out at the view, but I don’t really see it.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” I state.
Nothing else makes sense. The way Cai and Harlen are with each other. The way I found Harlen here, not far from where Cai was. The fact that I cannot imagine Cai dropping to his knees for anyone else on the planet, let alone in this castle. It all makes too much sense. Harlen gets Cai to surrender to him, and Cai hates it. And loves it.
Harlen takes a big drag of his vape and blows the smoke out into the pre-dawn air where the breeze carries it away.
“Yeah, it was me,” he confesses calmly while staring out at the view.
I knew it.
So where does that leave me?