The Wrong Wife by Maya Alden

Chapter 38

Esme

My mother didn't ask me how I felt about leaving what had become my home and the man I'd come to love. She didn't ask me about my red puffy eyes. She pretended that everything was A-okay. A part of me that had held our secret for so many years because of my love for her cracked.

"Thank you for buying me new makeup," she chuckled when I put the Bare Mineral cosmetics in front of her. I wasn’t going to my father's house to pick up her makeup bag. "I prefer Chanel, though."

"I can't afford Chanel, mama."

She didn't respond to that. "Well, we'll make do, won't we? The doctors have said that my ankle surgery will occur by the week's end. Daddy is hiring a nurse to take care of me at home. Isn't that nice of him?"

It would've been better if he hadn't beaten the crap out of you, which is why you need a nurse.

Bitterness coated my insides. How could she sit here and not see what had happened to me? Had she never cared for me?

"He's coming in an hour. I think you shouldn't be here when he comes." My mother used the makeup mirror I had bought to put on her mascara. "He's still angry with you."

I got away from the bed because my mother was starting to disgust me.

"Why? What did I do?"

My mother set the mascara wand down and looked at me, her eyes fierce. "Well, Esme, you seemed to have gotten very comfortable with your sister's husband. We're all quite upset about that. You knew this was temporary, and he's kissing you, and you're holding hands in all those pictures. Disgusting."

I couldn't look away from her. It was like watching a car crash.

"Disgusting?"

Mama shrugged. She looked at herself critically in the mirror. "You knew what you were doing was wrong."

"You made me marry him when Viv decided to fuck everyone's life up."

"Don't use language like that, Es. I'm still your mother. Show some respect."

I felt my temper climb. I was tired and beaten. I could still hear how Declan had so quickly said, "Goodbye, Esme," like I was disposable, which I now realized I was. But why shouldn't I be when I allowed my family to treat me that way?

"Respect? Why, Mama? Why should I respect you?" I'd never talked to her this way before. I'd been the loving Esme. The fucking doormat. Declan was right. And it was fitting that he'd let me walk away because he deserved better. Maybe not Viv but a woman who could stand tall next to him and be a partner. Not someone like me, who was always ready to fall on her knees and get kicked in the solar plexus for the pleasure of others.

"Esme," her voice was tight, "What has gotten into you?"

"I'm trying to understand, Mama, why you think it's disgusting that I kissed my husband."

"Because he's Viv."

"She didn't want him."

"She made a mistake, and now, no thanks to you, that is being corrected. How could you think you'd be allowed to stay with a man like Dec? Think about it, Es. He was going to leave you anyway. And you knew that. Isn't this better?"

I noticed that she was good at putting on makeup, even with broken fingers. He'd beaten her, and here she was, making herself pretty for him.

"Mama," I pushed my glasses up my nose and looked her in the eye, "don't contact me ever again. Think of me as being dead to you. Tell Daddy and Viv that they should lose my number as well. I'm finished with you. All of you."

"Esme," my mother cried out. "After all we've done for you, is this how you show your gratitude?"

I put my phone in my jeans pocket and walked toward the door. As I opened it, I turned around to see her, this woman who had given birth to me. "Mama, everything I ever did for you was because I loved you. It was never gratitude. But I realize now that you deserve neither my gratitude nor my love."

I walked away, my hands shaking as I quietly closed the door behind me.

We'd never reconcile, I admitted to myself. I wouldn't be able to stand a life where Dec married Viv. I would never be able to forgive my mother, my father, and my sister for taking advantage of me, for not caring about me. And I'd never forgive myself for not being worthy of Dec. I had truly lost him, and it was not because he walked away as I always feared, it was because I’d not had the courage to keep him.

It hurt more than I could admit, but I would move on. I'd never again allow my family to come in the way of my happiness. I'd choose wisely and within my means in the future.

My stride became longer and surer as I walked out of the hospital. I called Mark as he'd asked me to after I talked to my mother.

"I told her we were done," I told him as soon as he answered.

I didn't have to explain to Mark who she was and what being done meant.

After a long pause, he said, "I'm so proud of you, Esme. And I'm glad you're removing yourself from an extremely toxic situation."

"I don't feel happy, Mark." Tears started to run down my cheeks.

"I know, darling. I know. Time will heal."

"Will it?"

"Yes. It'll take time, but it'll get better. Maria and I are there for and with you."

I wiped the tears away and decided to walk up and find a café, somewhere to sit down and regroup. "I miss him, Mark."

I heard him sigh. "I know."

"He's going to marry Viv, isn't he?"

"I don't know, Esme."

I nodded as if to myself. "How am I going to ever get over him?"

"Come home, Esme. It's my day off. We'll lie in my bed and watch all the breakup hits."

I chuckled. "Yeah. That sounds good."

Lying in bed and watching movies sounded much better than regrouping. I had a whole life to regroup. Today, I had already taken the day off from work because of the New Orleans trip—so I might as well veg out with my best friend. Maybe we'd watch The Bridges of Madison County, and I'd ugly cry when Meryl Streep doesn't open the car door at the traffic light when Clint Eastwood waits for her. Maybe we'll watch Bringing Up Baby to laugh at the antics of Katherine Hepburn and the woebegone Cary Grant.

I ordered an Uber on my phone.

I saw a familiar car drive up the long driveway of the medical center, and I hid behind a wall. It was my father's car. The driver stopped in front the entrance, and my father marched out, tall and handsome. His phone rang, and he paused to answer.

"Nina, Viv said he's probably not agreeing to a big wedding. He'd like to keep it small. Just family."

He listened to what she said and nodded. He looked happy. His smile was wide. He'd destroyed my life and built Viv's.

"Viv is with him at the Knight HQ. He's getting past his anger. Don't get me wrong; she was an idiot to do what she did." He stopped talking and then laughed, "Yeah, yeah. We made the best of it. But she's gone now, and I’ll make sure she stays that way. Dec seemed fine with it. He said goodbye to her, didn't seem too broken about it. He took the annulment papers. I think…"

I walked away as I saw my Uber approach. I didn't need to hear the rest of the conversation. I was done with these awful people. It was time for me to be good to myself.