Envy by Eve Marian
22
Natacha
Sweat gathered at the back of my neck and along my brow. I held onto the machine as I climbed higher and higher.
I swear this thing is going to kill me.
“I think I should call him,” I huffed the words into the air, hoping Charlotte would catch them.
She ran next to me, her feet pounding on her treadmill. “No. You shouldn’t.”
I’d told Charlotte everything. I needed a sounding board. The trouble was, she’d become adamant that leaving Giancarlo was for the best.
“He’s a mafia boss, Natacha. The Crawfords know your cover is blown, so you’re off the hook.”
“It’s not about the job, and you know it.”
She pressed a button on her machine, and the treadmill slowed down. Charlotte never cut a workout short. I slammed my hand over the emergency button and turned toward her.
“He’s bad news. You got out unscathed. I don’t think you should tempt fate again.”
I sighed. I knew she was right, but I couldn’t let it go.
“I recognized the car that pushed Chase over. It was Vito’s.”
“You should stay away from that guy, too. There’s nothing you can do about Chase’s death. Now you know.”
“Yes, but I don’t know why. Maybe Giancarlo does. I just want to know why.”
Tears gathered behind my eyes, and I looked up at the ceiling, fighting them off.
“It won’t bring him back.”
“No, but I can finally move on.”
She stared at me. Grabbing my hand, she laced her fingers with mine. “Okay, but you only talk about Vito. Nothing else. I don’t want him sweet talking his way back.”
“I don’t think he wants me back.”
“That’s not what I want to hear, Nat. You don’t want him sweet talking his way back, right?”
I shrugged.
These past three days, I’d missed him so much. He was angry when he found out I’d lied to him, and I would have been, too. Maybe enough time had passed that he’d be willing to hear me out. I’d never intended to hurt him, just as I’d never intended to fall for him either, but I did.
“Okay, I’m going to call him now.”
Charlotte started up her machine again. “Aren’t you going to finish your workout first?”
I checked my watch. “Fifteen minutes. Nope, I’m good.”
I hopped off the machine and raced to the changing room. I couldn’t wait to hear Giancarlo’s voice again. I’d hoped there would be less anger in it this time.
As I placed the phone to my ear, Giancarlo’s voice pierced through, “Hello?”
“Hi. It’s me.”
“I know who this is.”
His voice was still cold. Distant. I needed to bridge the gap. “Can we talk?”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“Well, I have a lot to say. I need to speak to you about Vito. It’s important.”
“Why do you want to talk about him?” He sounded suspicious. “What do you know?”
“It’s about a car accident that happened last year. I think he’s responsible for killing my…” I couldn’t finish the last part. Calling Chase my boyfriend when he wasn’t right now felt strange, but neither was he just my friend.
“You’re what?”
“Can we talk about this in person? Preferably without Vito around.”
“You don’t have to worry about Vito. He’s gone.”
“What do you mean, gone?”
He didn’t respond. My hands shook. I closed my eyes and whispered, “What happened?”
“I did what I had to do. So, if you’re seeking revenge, then you won’t find it.”
My mouth went dry and my heart hammered in my chest.
What had he done?
What mobsters do.
Why had I thought he would be different?
I was such a fool.
“Goodbye, Natacha,” he whispered and hung up the phone.
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I’d called to speak to him and find out what happened the night Chase died. Now, I had no idea if I should get close to him. But if I didn’t, I’d never know the truth.
I showered and got dressed for work. I moved in slow motion and the whole world felt as though I was looking through blurry glasses.
I barely made out Carl and Jim’s faces as I walked past them to my desk. I sat and booted up my laptop.
My father looked over at me. “What’s wrong? No coffee this morning?”
I shook my head and stared at nothing. “No, I don’t want any coffee.”
The man I’d slept with, who held me intimately, whose hands had pleasured me, had also taken a life.
How do I deal with that?
“Natacha.” My father waved his hand over my face. “Hey, baby girl. What is going on?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
He stood up and crossed his arms. “Come with me.” He jerked his head toward the back room and I knew that look. I wouldn’t get any peace unless I heard his lecture.
Grudgingly, I followed him to the back.
“Tell me what happened.”
“Look, I appreciate your concern, Dad, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine. But maybe you should go home. Rest. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
I doubted that. “No. I need to finish this case.”
“Which case?”
I rolled my eyes. “The Crawford one.”
“You mean the Rossi one. It’s over. You’ve been made.”
“That may be so, but I can still finish it.”
“What are you going to do, walk in there and ask him for the ball? Ask him why his mommy never visited him?”
My father’s words hurt. “That’s not fair, and you know it. Why are you acting like this?”
“Because you don’t get it. You think this is just another regular assignment, but it’s not. We’ll try another way. Maybe through Nicky. He contacted his parents but is still working for Rossi. Maybe he can get inside the safe for us.”
I thought about what Giancarlo had done to Vito and my heart stopped. “No! It’s too risky. There’s too much going on right now.”
“What do you mean?”
I lowered my voice. “I think Giancarlo killed his right-hand man.”
“What!” he shouted.
“Shh!”
“If what you say is true, then you are definitely not going back there. Are you serious, Natacha? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“No. But I need to talk to him. If he did do that, it means that Vito was the rat. That must have destroyed him. He has to be broken up about it.”
“It’s not your problem.”
“What if it is?”
“What are you talking about?”
“He knows what happened to Chase. He’s the only one who can tell me what happened. After speaking to Giancarlo he must have ordered Vito to follow him. Why? Only he can answer that.”
“I know you loved Chase. But I won’t risk you for this. I won’t!”
His voice broke, and I pulled him into my arms. “Don’t cry, Daddy.” My tough military father wept as he pressed me against his chest. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t lose me.”
“Yes. I will. Because I see it all over your face.” He pulled me back and lifted my chin with his finger. “You’re falling in love with him. But you have to fight it, baby. For your own safety. If he doesn’t kill you, someone else will.”
I swallowed because the truth in his words terrified me.
When I returned to my desk, I opened my email. There was one from Nicky’s parents. They were happy to hear from him, explaining he was going for dinner tomorrow night. I was glad he’d reconnected with them.
My eye caught an unusual message. The name simply read: Undisclosed sender.
I clicked on the email.
Hello Ms. Benett,
I thought about texting you this message, but I wanted to prove I now know exactly who you are.
There’s something you left behind. Meet me at 4:00 p.m. at the house if you still want it.
GC
Giancarlo had my email. I only gave it out to clients. How the hell did he get it?
And what did I leave behind? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be anything of value. I should just leave it there.
But what I’d just told my dad was the truth. I needed to know what happened to Chase, and Giancarlo was the only one alive that could tell me.
This could be a setup. I had to consider the possibility. He killed his best friend. A man he’d considered a brother. Why wouldn’t he do the same to a woman he’d met only a couple of months ago?
I couldn’t tell my father. He would stop me, but someone should know my whereabouts in case I went missing. I texted Charlotte.
Me: Don’t tell anyone, but I’m meeting with Giancarlo this afternoon at his place.
Charlotte: What? No! If you insist on going, then I’m coming with you.
Me: You can’t. He won’t tell me the truth about Chase if there’s another witness there.
Charlotte: That’s what I’m worried about, him leaving no witnesses behind.
I stared at Charlotte’s text. Her words made sense in my head, but my heart wouldn’t listen. It had to know. It had been mourning Chase for more than a year. And if I was completely honest, a big part of me wanted to see Giancarlo again. A stupid, foolish, irrational feeling, but still a strong one.
Me: I’ll be fine. If I don’t text you by five, you have my permission to break his door down, lol.
With my backup in place, I replied to Giancarlo’s email.
I will meet you there.
Natacha
After I hit send, I leaned back in my chair and stared at my screen. When I left his home, I didn’t think I would return. I didn’t just want to pick up where I left behind. I wanted to talk to him about everything, not just Chase. I needed to explain my intentions for taking this job. Yes, I deceived him, even lied to him. But that was when I thought I was just infiltrating a mob boss. It was nothing personal. It was a job. He, of all people, should understand that. He certainly committed worse crimes than lying to succeed and supersede.
If he didn’t want to see me again, he would have just mailed whatever I’d left behind. No, this was an olive branch and I would take it with both hands.
A few hours later, when it was nearly three o’clock, I said goodbye to my dad, Carl, and Jim. My dad didn’t question my early departure. I often came and went from the office. I also avoided eye contact with him the whole time I was at work.
I showered and chose my outfit carefully. What did one wear to a meeting with a mob boss that could be a setup? I chose one of my favorite dresses. It was a red wrap dress and paired it with some nude heels.
The thought of this being the last time I’d ever see Giancarlo; I wanted him to remember me in this dress. Maybe even ache for me. Did that make me cruel? Or was it messed up that I still wanted him to want me? I didn’t know anymore. My moral compass broke a few weeks ago.
After spraying a bit of vanilla-scented perfume, I climbed into my car and headed to his house. When I pulled into the driveway, my body turned toward the back door as it had for months, but tonight I walked toward the front entrance.
Tonight, I would be completely, unapologetically me. No ruse, no deceptions. This wouldn’t be for the Crawfords. It was for me alone.
I rang the doorbell, and Dominic opened the door a second later. I smiled, “Good to see you again, Dominic.” He grunted and waved me inside.
I wasn’t offended. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever heard Dominic speak.
The man disappeared into a room down the hallway and I sat inside the living room. The room was dark, even in the afternoon. The blinds were usually drawn and the dark furniture didn’t help.
I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floor before I saw him. When he turned the corner and came into view, my heart constricted and I wondered when it happened? When did I fall in love with this man?
“I’m surprised you came.”
“You are? Why?”
“After what I told you about Vito, not many people would have the courage to show up.”
He approached the couch, and the smell of his cologne made me dizzy. I could taste the scent on my tongue from the memories racing through my head.
He sat on the couch across from me and leaned forward.
“You have something that belongs to me?” I asked, wanting to get this part over with before I delved into the real reasons I came.
He frowned. “Well, it doesn’t exactly belong to you. I’d just said you’d forgotten it.”
I shook my head. “Please don’t talk in riddles. I want us to start over. This time openly and honestly.”
He scoffed and dropped his head in mock laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding me, right? You’re the one that lied to me and now you want to just start over again. Pretend it didn’t happen?”
“I didn’t say that. I just don’t want to hold back anymore.”
“You were holding back before?”
“A little.”
He nodded. “I think it was a lot.”
I inhaled. “You’re right. There’s a lot I need to apologize for. I took the job under false pretenses, and I intended to keep the truth from you while I searched your home. I’m sorry I deceived you.”
“You lied.”
“Well, I’m not sure—”
He held up his hand and counted on his fingers. “You told me you could cook. You lied. You said you had spent the night with Nicky, but you hadn’t.”
“Fair,” I whispered.
“How can I believe anything you say?”
“Because I’m telling you the truth now.”
“No, you’re telling me because I found that text from Luke.”
“I could have made something up that you would have believed, but I didn’t.”
“Are you saying I’m that gullible?”
“No, I’m saying I’m that good.”
“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be a good liar and expect me to believe what you’re saying now.”
My voice rose with frustration. “Yes, you can. The same way that I know exactly who you are, too, and I’m still here now.”
“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t be.”
He stared at me. His eyes bore into mine, and the hairs on my arm stood up. I rubbed them and he followed my fingers up and down my skin.
He turned his head away angrily. “Why did you want to speak to Vito?” he asked.
I swallowed. This was it. I could finally ask what I’d been wanting to know for so long. “Did you order Vito to kill Chase?”
I’d expected him to ask who that was. It had been over a year since the night of his death, but his face didn’t flinch or crease. Instead, he ran his hands through his hair. “Are you sure it was Vito?”
I watched his expression carefully, as his words made no sense. “Yes. I recognized his car from the street cams. I could never read the license plate, but those white stripes and snake emblem definitely point to his car. Why? Do you think it wasn’t him?”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No. I’m sure it was.”
My heart raced at hearing the confirmation, but there was still so much more I wanted to know. “Why did Chase come to your home only hours before?”
His head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed. “How do you—never mind. I smelled you in the security room.”
“You smelled me?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.” Then he turned to me. “How do you know Chase? What’s he to you?”
I licked my lips. My heart ached before the words even left my mouth. “He was my boyfriend, fiancé, really. He never gave me a ring but we talked about getting married all the time.”
Giancarlo dropped his head into his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered.
My head raced with scenarios and questions and I blurted them out all at once. “Why are you upset? Did you have something to do with Vito driving him off the road? Why did he come to see you? Was he getting involved in your business?” I rubbed my forehead as a headache pressed against my skull. “I can’t believe Chase would do something like that.”
He raised his head and the anger I read on his face surprised me. “You can’t believe your perfect boyfriend would do something like what I do? He was that much better than me, right?”
My palms felt sticky and I rubbed them along my sides. “Well, no, I didn’t mean that.”
He laughed with no humor. “Unbelievable.”
“What?”
“Forget it.”
“No. I said today was all about honesty, so tell me. Was he working for you?”
He dropped his head again. “Yeah. But I turned him down,” he said softly.
“Why?”
He stood from the couch. “Just drop it, Natacha, okay? I asked you here—”
“No. There’s more. I can tell.” I grabbed his shoulder before he could walk away from me. “What aren’t you saying? There has to be more. If you didn’t order Vito to kill him, then why did he follow him and swerved his car into him? It doesn’t make sense.”
He closed his eyes. “Just drop it.”
“No. If you want me to tell you everything, then I expect the same in return.”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Yes, I do. Chase was a good man.” His lip turned up into a sneer. But I persisted. “A hard worker, a sensitive and sweet guy. I deserve to know why someone would kill him. He didn’t deserve that, he—”
“He slept with Vito’s sister!”
I inhaled sharply and stepped back. It felt as though he had slapped me. “No,” I muttered, shaking my head. “You’re lying.” I investigated cheaters. I knew them better than anyone else. No. This couldn’t be happening to me.
He closed his eyes and reached for me, but I moved away. “She got pregnant, and Vito asked me to force his hand into marrying her. I tried, but he said he was in love with his girlfriend. I’m sorry, Natacha.”
He reached again and I slapped his hand away. “No. That’s not true. It wasn’t Chase. He wouldn’t have done that. We were each other’s first, and he would never do something like that to me.”
I skewered him with my eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do. You think if you hurt me as badly as I hurt you that would make us even, but it won’t. So, take it back.”
“I wouldn’t play games like that. You obviously don’t know me, either.”
Either. Insinuating I hadn’t known Chase.
He was wrong. He was trying to hurt me. That was what he did; he hurt people. Well, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I straightened my shoulders and looked him in the eye. “What is it you wanted to give me? I’m ready to leave now.”
He stared at me. His eyes held mine, and he didn’t move. “Let me go,” I whispered.
He pursed his lips and nodded. Turning, he walked toward a hutch in the living room and opened a drawer. He kept his back to me.
“You forgot this,” he said, and when he turned around, my eyes immediately fell on his hand. He held a baseball.
My lungs emptied in one breath, and I swayed from the dizziness. It was Luke’s baseball. I was sure of it.
“How did you know?”
“It didn’t take long to figure out why Luke would be chatting with a private investigator working incognito in my home.”
I nodded.
“And I saw the video.”
My eyes snapped to his. “What video?”
“I don’t have a camera in my bedroom, but I have one in my closet pointed at that safe. You came close with Colton’s guy.”
I had the humility to look away from his stare.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“You hesitated.”
“What?”
“When he asked to see the safe, you hesitated. Why?”
I knew the reason. I didn’t want to betray him. It felt wrong to do it, especially after being intimate with him. But after the hateful things he’d said about Chase, I didn’t want to tell him that. “I don’t know,” I said.
He nodded, then walked toward me. When he held out the ball, I hesitantly took it.
“Goodbye, Natacha.”
My chest hurt. The words felt so final. I knew I should say the same, but they stuck to my throat. I opened my mouth to push them through when a loud crash in the kitchen made us both jump.
“What the fuck?” Giancarlo turned on his heels and ran toward the kitchen. Just before he reached it, he pulled a gun out of his jacket and led with it as he turned the corner.
Insanely, I followed.
I waited just outside the opening, listening for the intruder, but it was Giancarlo who spoke first.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“Where’s Natacha?”
Oh, no. I recognized that voice.
I rounded the corner, and my eyes grew twice their size when I saw her standing there. She wore the same pink and gray athletic wear she had on earlier.
“Charlotte, what are you doing here?”
“You know her?” Giancarlo asked, still pointing the gun.
“Yes,” I lowered his arm. “She’s my friend.”
He shook his head. “Why do women keep breaking into my house?” he muttered under his breath.
“You told me to break the door down if you didn’t call by five. It’s 5:15 and the glass door at the back was a lot easier than the wooden one at the front.”
I laughed softly. It wasn’t funny, though. My friend had broken into a mobster’s house for me. I hugged Charlotte tightly against me. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Anytime,” she muttered. “Damn. But he is fine,” she whispered next to my ear.
Turning toward Giancarlo, who still kept his eye on Charlotte, I apologized. “I’m sorry about the door. But I kind of asked her to. Not exactly to break in—Never mind, we’ll leave now.”
I grabbed Charlotte’s hand and walked with her to the front entrance. He maintained the same appalled expression on his face the entire way there. I guess I would have been angry, too.
I turned the knob to the front door. “I’ll send someone over tomorrow to fix your door.” I smiled sheepishly. Just before I closed the door behind me, I stuck my head back inside. “Again, I’m so sorry.”
He continued to stare at me, the look more resigned than upset now.
He nodded and I left his home.
Only this time, I had Luke’s baseball in my hand and confusion in my heart.