Envy by Eve Marian

23

Giancarlo

The lock clicked softly behind her, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the door. There was so much to process. The non-break-in equally impressed and reassured me she had good friends who would go to such lengths for her. And, of course, the fact she had left.

Again.

Well, what did you expect?

She was a private investigator. She’d come here for the baseball and now she had it.

Perhaps she’d even come for answers about her boyfriend. And she got those, too. Even though it broke my heart to tell her, she had to know the truth.

I remembered the way her eyes turned from fierce to tortured in a second, and how the breath rushed out of her lungs, and she slumped forward.

I wanted to hold her and tell her he didn’t deserve her. No one did. But my head held me back.

I wasn’t some hopeless romantic who could give her a fairy-tale ending. I was the leader of the second-largest mafia organization in New York State. Someone tried to shoot me a month ago, and my best friend betrayed me. That would be her future if she stayed and I wouldn’t do that to her. She deserved better.

She doesn’t want you, anyway. No one does.

Fuck.

From the corner of my eye, Nicky walked along the side of the house, away from the garage. He held a bucket of water in one hand and a soapy sponge in the other.

I walked to the back of the house and opened the door. “Nicky,” I called.

He spun around, and the water sloshed outside the bucket. “Mr. Rossi, sir. I was just about to wash your truck. Do you need me to drive you?”

“No. But I need to speak with you. Come inside.”

He dropped the bucket and sponge on the ground and wiped his hands on his faded blue jeans.

“Take a seat,” I pointed to the kitchen table.

Standing directly in front of him, with my arms crossed, I asked, “Who are you? And don’t fucking lie to me.”

Nicky swallowed twice and blinked rapidly. “I—uh—I’m Nicholas DeMarco. I’m from upstate New York. And… uh, I’m your driver. Or at least, I think I still am.”

I watched him closely. “Depends on how this conversation goes.”

He swallowed again, but maintained eye contact. If he had looked away, I would have known I couldn’t trust him.

“Why did you lie about spending the night with Natacha?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t. She said that.”

“Why would she feel the need to protect you?”

He exhaled a tired breath. “Because I disappeared from home. My parents were looking for me and I guess she thought she was saving me from…”

I raised my eyebrow.

He shrugged. “From you.”

I nodded and sucked my teeth. “Do you need saving from me, Nicky?”

He didn’t hesitate. “No, sir.”

“Have you spoken to your parents?”

“Yes. I told them I needed space and had a job. We’re having dinner together tomorrow night.”

Nicky’s voice remained even throughout my interrogation. His eyes were sad when he spoke about his parents. He missed them. “You know exactly who I am. Why do you want to work for me?”

He didn’t answer right away. Staring at his hands in his lap, he fidgeted for a bit before he answered. “Because I want to be just like you.”

I unlaced my arms. “What does that mean?”

“Rich. Powerful. Deserving of respect.”

“Ah,” I nodded. The trifecta of the male ego. I couldn’t deny I desired those things as well. But I had to warn him. “Wealth and power aren’t earned, Nicky. They are traded. Usually in exchange for family, and sometimes your soul.”

I waited for the words to sink in. He looked up and stared at me. His eyes lit up with an intensity that looked familiar.

“Do you still want it?” I asked.

Again, he didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“All right, you can stay. But you’ll have to prove your loyalty to me.”

“Anything. I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I pulled out a chair and sat in front of him. “Bring your family to my place for dinner tomorrow night.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Here? With you?”

I smiled. “Is that a problem?”

“Well, my parents don’t exactly approve of what you do.”

I laughed. “Not many people do, Nicky. You’ll have to address this, though, if you’re going to work for me. You can’t live a double life. Besides, I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He nodded slowly, resigning himself to the idea. “Okay. You’re right. I have to tell them this is what I want and they will have to accept it and accept me.”

“Good.”

“Since Natacha isn’t here anymore, should I order for us or have you hired someone new?”

I stood from the table and pushed back my chair. “I won’t be hiring anyone new for a while. I plan to keep my circle small. We’ll order in.”

Nicky nodded just as the doorbell rang. Dominic opened the door and my sister walked through.

“Hi, Gianni,” she sang.

I greeted her with a hug, and she kissed my cheek. Looking behind me, she said, “I’ll just pop into the kitchen and say hi to Natacha. Be right back.”

I grabbed her arm before she could get very far. “She’s not here.”

“Is she out?”

I shook my head. “No. She left.”

Sienna placed a hand on her cocked hip. “What did you do?”

I couldn’t believe she would blame me. Okay, maybe I could. “I did nothing. She was the one lying to me the whole time. She’s a private investigator working for the Crawfords.”

She dropped her hand and her face fell, too. “Really?”

I sighed. “Yes.”

Sienna fell onto the couch and crossed her arms. “It doesn’t make sense.”

I sat beside her and put my arm over her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I said. “It was all fake.”

She pushed me away. “No, it wasn’t. She lied, yes. And I’m pissed. But I don’t believe it was all fake.”

“What are you talking about? She lied about who she was and what she was doing here. How could I believe anything she says?”

Sienna scoffed and shook her head. “You’re such a hypocrite.” I leaned back as though she had slapped me. “You sit on your high horse and judge her when you’re not exactly standing on morally high ground. Who are you to judge her?”

“I’m not judging her. I’m just saying I don’t believe a word she said.”

“Why?”

My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Was she even listening?

“You do some pretty questionable things yourself, Gianni, things that I understand you have to do. But that doesn’t make you a bad person. At least not in my eyes. I see the way you love and protect your family while still bringing down another. Why can’t you believe she could lie about one thing but not be honest about anything else?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words didn’t come. I pushed off the couch and paced the living room. “It’s not the same thing. I may do bad things, but I don’t do them to the people I care about.”

“She didn’t care about you when she took on this job. It was just a case. What if something changed along the way?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie. I saw the way you looked at her. You care about her. Why can’t you believe she could come to care for you?”

I knew the answer deep in my heart, but saying it out loud would be too pathetic. “It’s not the same.”

Sienna stood, too. She grabbed my arms and stopped my pacing. “I know my mother hasn’t been the greatest replacement for yours. But I love you, Gianni, and so does Nonna.”

“I know that,” I muttered.

She squeezed my hand. “Your mother loved you, too.”

I stared at her. “What are you talking about?”

She pressed her lips together. “I read the letters.”

My heart jumped. I’d hidden the letters my mother wrote to me in the safe. “How? They’re locked up.”

She looked up at the ceiling. “They weren’t always. When we were younger, you kept them in a box under your bed. I found them one day when looking for Mr. Whiskers.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

She shrugged. “Because you never talked about her. I was too scared to admit what I’d done. I knew it was something you kept from everyone.”

“Well, you were young. You completely romanticized them. She didn’t love me.”

“Of course she did. She wrote to you nearly every day from the time you turned seven and could read them yourself. But died only a few years later. She always wrote about how much she cared for and loved you.”

“She didn’t love me, Sienna. She abandoned me. Who abandons their child?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Have you ever asked why she did it?”

“No.”

“Well, I did. I asked Nonna. Your mother and our father were in love, but her parents didn’t approve. They wanted nothing to do with our family. They forbade her to see him. When your mother got pregnant, her family lost it. They wanted her to abort the baby. She wouldn’t. Said it was her choice. So, you see. Your mother didn’t abandon you, Gianni. She left you with our father so that you could live.”

Tears burned at the back of my eyes, and I had to turn away from my sister. They hit me hard, nearly breaking all the walls I’d put up my whole life.

“If I knew you felt this way, I would have told you sooner.”

“Feel what?”

“Unwanted. Unworthy of love. But you’re not, Gianni. You’re a fool if you let yourself believe that. You never hesitate. You take what you want. If you want her, then go get her.”

I wanted to believe Sienna so badly. My leg bounced, wanting to fly through the front door and run to Natacha. I would pull her into my arms and forgive everything. Start fresh with her.

Was it true? Was I wrong about my mother my entire life?

I needed to find out the truth.