Safeword: Mayday by Candace Blevins
Chapter 41
Kyle knew why they’d picked up barbecue plates and were having dinner in a park.
He’d opened himself up to having to talk about this by so readily agreeing to let Marcus Top him.
He’d struggled with this for years. He’d been so adamant against letting his best friend Top him when they’d shared Jules, but then when they’d lost her, Kyle had lost the intimacy he’d had with Marcus.
And it was a crushing loss. One he hadn’t expected, but he missed sleeping in the same bed with him, looking at him over the top of the woman they were sharing.
Most of all, he hadn’t expected to miss having Marcus dominate him, even though Marcus had only done so with Jules as their go-between.
If they’d had their own relationship, if he’d allowed Marcus to Top him, would things have been different in the years after?
There was no way to know, but now that he had a chance for a do-over, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.
Kyle spread the tablecloth over the picnic table, and Heather took everything out of the bag, settling their covered plates out, dictating where everyone would sit, and Kyle wasn’t sure what to think about the fact she put his plate next to Marcus’s, while she would sit across from them.
Marcus retrieved the drinks from his SUV, and took his seat beside Kyle.
“You’ve thought about this a great deal,” Marcus told him. “Your mind was made up long ago. You were waiting for a chance to be able to agree to it.”
Marcus’s ability to sense truth and dishonesty in people was great when it was someone else, but always disconcerting when he did it to Kyle.
“All those things are true.”
“It feels like you were dishonest,” Heather told him. “When you explained how things were with Julie, I assumed you still felt the same, and you let me.”
He looked at the table. “I wasn’t certain I could agree to more, when I told you about Jules. I’ve thought about it for years, but I wasn’t sure I could.” He looked to Marcus. “When we lost Jules, I lost intimacy with you. I mean, it isn’t like we made love, so maybe you think that sounds stupid, but I didn’t expect it to be so hard, the way things changed between us. You were and still are my best friend, but we were more, and then we weren’t.”
“And you want to fix things so if I leave, you’ll still have Marcus?” Heather asked.
When she put it that way, it sounded wrong.
He shook his head. “That’s an oversimplification. I was young, before, and I didn’t know things about myself. I thought I did, but I didn’t. I’ve experimented around with male Tops, and they got me off okay, but there wasn’t a spark, you know? It isn’t like that with Marcus.” He blew out a breath. “Who decided where we’ll be sitting?”
Heather looked to Marcus, and he knew it had been Marcus’s idea. He turned and met his best friend’s gaze. “You didn’t want to look me in the eye while we had this conversation? Well, tough shit. If you don’t want to Top me, that’s fine, we can just forget I mentioned the possibility, but if you do? Have the balls to face me and talk about it.”
Marcus gave him a half smile, the one that said he was pleased. “Good to know your mind’s made up, even if I’m pissed you made us pull it out of you to find out. How far are we going to go with this? You gonna blow me? Open your ass for my cock?”
“You can’t make me back off by being crude, motherfucker. I’ll submit in the playroom, but it isn’t going to be like it is with Heather, right? I won’t eat off the floor for you, and I don’t think you want me doing that?”
Marcus suddenly looked more serious. “Right now? No, I don’t want that kind of control over you, but five years from now? I think we have to keep it on the table. Now, though, I’d love to co-Top you with Heather during scenes. You’re absolutely right that if we have the energy of a true threesome, it’ll make folding a slave into our lives a helluva lot easier.”
“Is anyone going to ask for my opinion?”
Heather’s voice was off, and Kyle’s attention spun to her. “I’m sorry. I assumed you’d…” He sighed. “Please tell us how you feel.”
“You’re my boyfriend and Marcus’s friend. I was all over having him help me Top you in scenes, but ya’ll are talking about…” She sighed. “Fuck. I don’t want to be the party-pooper, but ya’ll need to give me some time with this. I mean, on the one hand, watching the two of you together will be hot, but I never even considered it as a possibility, and I don’t know how I feel about it.”
“Kyle’s already put restrictions on it, saying I can’t boss him around at meals. Why don’t we limit any power exchange between us to the playroom. Not the bedroom, just the playroom. If nothing hits you wrong, we’ll talk in a few months about expanding that, if we want to, and if not, we can keep it as is. If anything bothers you, even a tiny bit, you have to tell us, so we can figure it out.”
“Yeah. Okay. I thought it was just going to be you giving him orders and having a say in when he comes, maybe caning or whipping him if he disobeyed you, but otherwise, punishments would still come from me.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Marcus told her. “If and when you think we can expand upon that, we’ll have another conversation.”
Kyle stood, walked around the table, and sat beside Heather, straddling the bench so he faced her. “Marcus is absolutely right. I’m so sorry we… Shit, Heather. You tell me what you’re comfortable with, and we won’t do more than that.”
“But you would, if I didn’t have hangups.” She sighed. “Give me a few weeks of things the way it was the other night, just in the playroom, like Marcus said. I mean, I think I’m probably going to be okay with more, once I wrap my mind around it, but I wasn’t expecting the two of you to jump in with both feet.”