All the Wrong Choices by C.A. Harms

Chapter Five

Danielle

"I drank too much,"Addison climbs out of my bed and practically crawls to the bathroom. I can hear her groaning and moaning the entire way. I, too, drank entirely too much but was smart enough to stop a couple of hours before we went home and switched over to water. My head is pounding, but my stomach feels fine.

I can hear the sound of the shower running from the open bathroom door . Curling onto my side toward the sound of running water, I listen to her shuffling around in my bathroom. She has been here so many times, and so often, my place is pretty much hers too, and vice versa.

Without meaning to, I doze off and wake to the sounds of a hairdryer. Dragging myself out of bed, I walk in the direction of the noise, and without thinking twice, I begin to strip out of my pajamas. Addison is entirely oblivious, working on her hair as I climb into the shower and sigh when the warm water begins to cascade over my body.

My mind settles on the guy I danced with until the end of the evening. Surprised to find I didn't find it uncomfortable to feel another guy pressed against me. Yes, it was strange, exciting even, but appealing. I spent years with only Matthew touching me, and his touches were always so measured and predictable. He liked order; he strived for control, and those desires crossed over into the bedroom.

The passion was weak but acceptable.

There was definitely never the kind of passion where you tore at each other’s clothes. No unadulterated desire that triggers you to take what you want, the desperation that I'll admit I crave. It was always the same; if we began to kiss somewhere other than the bedroom, Matthew would always stall until we reached that location. He wasn't adventurous, never wanted to try new things, always the same, one position, one goal, and done.

But last night, the way the guy touched my hips, even gliding his hand over my stomach as he moved closely behind, was thrilling. I can still practically feel his hardness against my ass, and it made me a little hot.

Halting my thoughts, remembering I'm not alone in the bathroom, I begin to wash my hair and body. Now is not the time to get turned on.

But honestly, it's a relief knowing I can do this; I can move on.

The blow dryer stops, and I hurry to rinse off my body before turning the water off.

"Can you hand me a towel?" I hold my hand out from behind the shower curtain, waiting to feel the soft fabric against my palm.

"Wanna go out for coffee?"

Peeking around the sea-shelled fabric, I smile at my best friend, and it hits me right then just how fortunate I am. I may not have the most supportive family, but I have something even better. I have friends who love me unconditionally, and they don't care if I screw up or if I'm the right woman for some piece of shit man; they love me anyway. They stand by me.

"And biscuits and gravy," I grin when I see her face sour.

"How can you think of food right now," she holds her stomach and cringes, making a gagging noise? “And how could you allow me to drink so much last night?"

"You looked like you were having fun," especially when a tall, dark stranger got all cozy with her. It was cute to watch them flirt, and he never once went too far. But he was interested in my gorgeous friend.

"I was," I notice the way her face lights up instantly.

"He did too," I push, knowing it's all she needs before she is spilling every single thing about last night and the man who held her interest.

"Did you see him?" Her eyes widen, and she leans back against the countertop, forgetting all about her hungover state. I let the curtain fall shut and start to dry off my body. There may have been a shower curtain separating us, but I know already she is smiling from ear to ear. I could hear it in her voice. With the excited tone, the escalating volume at specific points in her story, she was almost giddy with joy.

"His name is Anthony, but everyone calls him Tony. He's a Software Engineer, never been married, no kids." She continues, and I find myself smiling too at the enthusiasm she is feeling. "We agreed to dinner on Thursday night."

"Sounds promising." Addison is not the type to fall fast, and she takes her time getting to know any man before deciding if he is worth the effort. I have always admired her ability to keep a man interested without giving him too much of herself. It helps that my best friend is gorgeous and intelligent, and any man would be lucky to gain her attention.

"We'll see," she adds as I step out of the shower with the towel wrapped securely around my body. "You know me, slow and steady."

Telling me a little more about Tony, I listen while I do my hair and makeup and walk into the bedroom to find something to wear.

With my favorite pair of jeans and a comfortable shirt on, we gather our purses and the keys to my car before leaving my apartment. Within thirty minutes, we are at Andy's diner, seated in a corner booth with two cups of hot steaming coffee in front of us. We both decide to order the Sunday special, and my mouth is already watering with anticipation for the French toast and bacon.

My phone vibrates on the table, and when I see Cathryn's name lighting up the screen, I immediately swipe to ignore and look up at Addison. Her nostrils flare, reflecting the way I feel, irritated.

"What the hell does she expect from you?"

"She expects me to make her feel better and add this to the long list of shit she caused throughout her life that I always forgave her for."

"I know she is your sister Dani, but—"

"Please don't hold back on my account," nothing she can say will be worse than anything I've already told myself. "You are more of a sister to me than Cathryn has ever been."

My parents have catered to my sister her entire life. Cathryn never takes responsibility for anything; they enable her. It's time she realizes not everyone thinks she walks on water.

Our breakfast is brought to our table by Morgan, our favorite waitress. She leaves us with extra bacon as she always does even when we don’t order it. We sit in partial silence as we devour our meal.

I know I'll be forced to face my sister and the fact she and Matthew are now a couple. I can't avoid them forever, but I will attempt to for as long as I can.

* * *

I rolledover in bed and heard something hit the floor with a thud. Peeking over the edge, I stare at the laptop now lying on the floor at my side. I fell asleep last night inputting grades from my students’ quiz on Friday.

I was distracted after listening to my sister's voicemail that I cried myself to sleep. Had Addison known I'd let it all get to me again, she would have set out to bulldoze my sister.

“I love him, Dani. I'm sorry I tried to ignore it; you know how he is. Matt feels terrible about how it all played out too, and we need to make this right,” Cathryn said.

Make it right? Was she fucking serious?

I found myself looking through old photos on my laptop of trips we've taken alone and with my family. In several, I found Matthew looking away from the camera, and when I'd follow his focus, I discovered that he was looking at Cathryn.

It kills me to know I was so blind; maybe had I not been so lovesick, I would have noticed the signs. Perhaps I wouldn't have lost so much of my life to a man who never was true.

Climbing out of bed, I gather my computer and set it on my nightstand before going into my kitchen. My apartment does feel like a new place after Addison and I went on a redecorating spree.

When my packed items from Matthew's showed up at my front door a week after he walked out on me, it was another hit to my ego. It hurt to see how quickly he'd forgotten what we had. But an even more significant part of me is happy I didn’t have to figure out how to get them from his place and take the chance of a face-off with him and Cathryn.

I imagine my sister packing up my stuff with a satisfied sparkle in her eyes. She won. That is the story of my life; she has always been the one who has come out on top. Things are given to her so quickly.

I'm not a hateful person, I find it hard to hold a grudge, but this time is different. I honestly don't think there is ever a chance I will be able to look at Matthew or Cathryn and feel anything other than hate for both them.