Sheriff’s Pregnant Ex by Leslie North

15

Caitlin spread a blanket by the lake’s shore in the same spot where they’d picnicked before. She smiled, thinking of how their relationship had changed since that day. The baby complicated everything, but also formed a bond between them. She loved how much he already loved their baby. She loved how much she loved it, too.

If it weren’t for the obstacles between them, life would be complete bliss. But him promising to spend this evening with her, out of reach of the sheriff’s department, had her feeling hopeful that they could find a way.

She took a book from her bag to entertain herself until Brian arrived. She felt confident that he would. He’d promised, and she believed him.

Fifteen minutes later, he was officially late for their date, but it was no big deal, she told herself. What was fifteen minutes? Feeling restless, though, she stood and waded in the shallow waters right by the shore. The cool water rose to her calves, and she looked out over the lake to where the sun was slowly sinking in the sky.

If Brian didn’t get there soon, he’d miss the sunset. But there would still be the stars for them to watch together.

Later, when the sun dipped below the horizon and the warmth of the day faded, it seemed to take her hope with it.

She returned to the picnic blanket, trying to decide how long she’d wait for him. She checked her phone, but with no bars showing, even if he’d sent a message, she wouldn’t receive it. She felt sure he would come soon, though. He wouldn’t just stand her up, so there must be a good reason that she’d been at the lake by herself for that long.

“He’s probably doing something super important, something that makes my hurt feelings seem petty,” she muttered to herself.

But her feelings weren’t insignificant, and although she didn’t blame him for being who he was, she was becoming more convinced she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t spend a lifetime waiting for him to tear himself away from his top priority so he could come home to her. Even if she could learn to deal with it herself, she didn’t want to subject her child to always coming second. Would he miss elementary school plays and seventh grade soccer games? She had a feeling he would, and that was a kind of disappointment and pain she knew well.

The way her mother and father had treated her as a child was far worse, of course. Brian would never belittle, neglect, or manipulate as her parents had done, but he’d make promises that he wouldn’t keep. Already, he’d coaxed her out of her shell just to disappoint her. Not out of cruelty or indifference but because someone else would always need him more. All the while, he’d claim she and their baby were important to him, but then he would not be there for them. She looked around at the deserted park area and felt so alone in her heart.

When the stars were bright overhead, she folded up the blanket and gathered their uneaten dinner. Her movements were deliberate and methodical as she tried to bring order to her mind. She needed to make decisions about her future, and she couldn’t put them off much longer. After packing the items in her car, she headed toward town, driving carefully as she worked out the truth of her situation.

Brian was an amazing man. She’d probably never meet his equal. But when push came to shove, he wouldn’t be there for her the way she needed him to be. His commitment to the town would come first, and she just couldn’t live like that. Maybe that did make her selfish as her mother had called her a thousand times over. But, dammit, Caitlin needed someone in her life that she could rely on completely.

“Okay, then,” she said as she took the last turn that would lead her to town. “Back to Austin for me, and we’ll figure out some way to share custody of the baby.” It broke her heart to even think that, but there was no other way.

Unless he agreed to come with her. It was a hope she almost didn’t dare to imagine, but what if he’d leave it all behind for her? In a new place, he might be able to start fresh with a better balance between work and home. If nothing else, it would show he was willing to try. She had to ask him. She couldn’t leave here without doing that. If he said he couldn’t come with her, then she’d go alone. She’d be lonely without him, so painfully lonely, but she also couldn’t share him with an entire town. Not when it seemed like he loved the town more.

On the seat next to her, her phone lit up with a series of text messages. She didn’t bother to grab it but waited until she was back at Brian’s house to read them. Whatever his explanation was could wait a few more minutes.

She let herself into the dark house and dropped the picnic supplies onto the kitchen table before sitting down to look at her messages. They were all from Brian, the first one at 6:45 and the last one just a few minutes ago. She read each one in order.

Sue Everly went into labor at her home. Taking her to the hospital. No time for the ambulance.

Just got to the hospital. Waiting with Sue until her husband arrives. Of course, he would do that because that was who Brian was.

Husband is still an hour away. Sorry, sweetheart.

I hope you’re not still at the lake by yourself. I’m so sorry.

If you get this, be careful driving back into town.

Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.

Leaving the hospital now. Be home soon.

Caitlin sighed and put the phone down on the table. She hoped Sue and her baby were well and that her husband got to the hospital in time for the birth.

And how could she be upset with Brian for missing their date in that situation? She couldn’t, of course. But that didn’t relieve her worries about their relationship.

Headlights swept across the front of the house and a minute later she heard the front door open.

“Caitlin?” Brian called.

“In here,” she said. As soon as he reached her, he pulled her into a hug.

“I’m so sorry. Did you wait long for me?” He kissed the top of her head. It felt so good to lean into his strength, but she couldn’t rely on that or him. Not with the way things were.

“I got back a few minutes ago,” she said, disentangling herself from him. “I just finished reading your messages. I’m glad you were there for Sue.”

“So you’re not mad at me?” He was watching her face closely.

“No, I’m not mad. If anything, your actions were just what I’d expect from you.” He was a true servant to the people, willing to give anything of himself to help others. She was strangely proud of him, not that that changed anything between them.

“All I did was drive and then hold her hand at the hospital,” he said, as if it had been nothing.

“Was the baby delivered safely?” she asked.

He nodded. “About five minutes after Sue’s husband arrived. A healthy boy. Sue’s blood pressure was high, but the doctor said that she came through okay as well.”

“That’s good.” She had no idea how to transition to what she needed to say, so she just hoped the words would come out coherently. “Brian, I made a decision while I was out at the lake. A decision that affects both of us. I’m going to move back to Austin as soon as I can and work with Maggie to open our tattoo parlor.”

His mouth dropped open, and his hands moved onto her shoulders as if he needed to steady himself. She knew that she’d shocked him, but she couldn’t really regret it. It was best to be blunt.

“Was it because I wasn’t able to make it tonight?” he asked. “That won’t happen again. I swear. Please, Caitlin, don’t leave. Give me another chance.”

She gave him a tired smile. “I’m proud of who you are and what you do. You may have saved Sue and her baby’s lives tonight, but I can’t stay here and know that whenever something comes up, others will always come before me.”

“That’s not what happened. It’s just that I’m sworn to protect the people of Darby Crossing. That’s the job,” he said.

“I’m not asking you to ignore people in need. But Brian…did you even try to find someone else to drive Sue to the hospital?”

“I…” he started to say, then trailed off.

She smiled as gently as she could. “You saw someone in need, and you sprang into action to help. I know that’s just the way you are. But it means that the demands on you and your time are constant. If you trusted someone else on your team to handle the calls and take care of people, it might be different. But you believe that it has to be you every time.” She stopped, almost afraid to go on, but she forced herself. “The baby and I can’t come second, but that’s exactly what we’d be if we stayed here. That’s why…I’d like you to move to Austin with me. We could start a life together there.”

He jumped as if she’d hit him with an electric shock. “I can’t—”

“I’m not asking you to decide right now.” She cut him off before he could refuse her. “I just want you to think about it. That’s all. Darby Crossing would survive without you.”

Brian sank down on a chair and dropped his head in his hands for a minute before looking up at her. “I can’t leave here. It’ll result in tragedy.”

“Brian,” she said carefully, “not even you can prevent tragedy.” Where was he going with this? He seemed burdened by something terrible.

“I could have, but I wasn’t here to do it.” His tone was sorrowful, heartbreaking.

“What are you talking about?” She sat next to him and put her arm around his shoulders.

“My dad and Luke,” he said after a minute. “It’s my fault they’re dead.”

“That can’t be,” she said instantly. “You weren’t even here when the accident happened.”

“Right, I was away.” He turned his face to her. “Not here where I belonged. Sheriff Holmes wanted me to be his successor—he tried to convince me to become a deputy right out of high school. I’d trained with him every summer for years by that point.”

“I remember that.” She also knew his degree was in criminal justice. He’d decided to go to college so that he could get more education and training under his belt before officially beginning his work for the sheriff’s department. All along, he’d been planning to go into law enforcement.

“I thought the sheriff would wait until I was ready to step into the position—but he had some health issues and had to retire right when I was starting my senior year,” he said. “So Sigsworth became sheriff. He was a sorry excuse for a public servant. Everything became lax, and people got away with things they shouldn’t have.”

She had no knowledge of that since she hadn’t been in town, but she wasn’t connecting the dots in what he was trying to tell her. “What does that have to do with the accident?”

“Luke was a reckless driver, always going too fast and taking chances he shouldn’t have. Under Sheriff Sigsworth, deputies didn’t write speeding tickets for anyone who was on the sheriff’s list of friends. No one forced Luke to obey the law, so he didn’t.” His voice cracked on the last words.

“You think the accident is your fault because if you were sheriff, you would have prevented Luke from being reckless? No one could have done that.” She remembered Luke well enough. Everyone saw him as the golden boy who could do no wrong. As a result, he’d been pretty arrogant. And it was highly unlikely that he would have toned his behavior down just because his little brother told him to.

“As sheriff, I could have done more,” Brian insisted “If I hadn’t gone to college, if I’d joined the sheriff’s department right away, he and my dad might still be alive. That’s why…that’s why I can’t trust anyone else to do the job. It has to be me. Do you understand now why I can’t leave?”

Caitlin kissed his temple, unable to find any words of comfort that might help him. His belief wasn’t rational, but it was forged in profound grief. Until he realized that he wasn’t responsible for his brother’s actions, he’d stay bound to this town and his job. And nothing she could say or do would change that.