Sheriff’s Pregnant Ex by Leslie North
17
Caitlin had driven from Darby Crossing in a fog after parting with Brian. They’d said a polite goodbye, nothing more than what acquaintances might share, before she got on the road. Despite the temptation, she hadn’t looked in the rearview mirror to see if he was watching her drive away. She couldn’t look back. Only forward.
Caitlin parked at Maggie’s complex and made her way to her friend’s apartment. With her apartment sublet, she had no place else to go in the city. Caitlin knew she should have called or texted Maggie when she was on her way to Austin, but she was too scared that her best friend would turn her away.
“Caitlin!” Maggie exclaimed and pulled her into a hug as soon as she opened the door. “Come in, come in.”
Caitlin felt relief flood through her at her friend’s greeting. “It’s good to see you.” She stepped into her friend’s tidy apartment.
“You, too. I’m glad we can finally clear the air in person,” Maggie said before they got past the foyer. “I should never have blamed you for what Seamus did. I hope you can forgive me for being a lousy friend when you were going through so much.”
Caitlin didn’t mean to burst into tears, but she couldn’t stop them. It was so comforting to have her friend back, and she needed a friend so desperately at the moment.
“Whoa, what’s this?” Maggie hugged her again. “Are these hormonal tears?”
“Maybe.” Caitlin swiped at her eyes. The pregnancy made her emotions raw, but she’d mostly been able to control them. Yet right now, everything felt so overwhelming.
“You need food, and you need to tell me all about what you’ve been doing. I’ve got a frozen pizza and chocolate ice cream for dessert.”
“Sounds perfect,” Caitlin sniffed. “Is it okay if I crash with you for a few nights?”
“Of course. Anything you need.”
“Thanks.” While the pizza baked, they grabbed Caitlin’s bags from her car, so by the time they ate, she felt almost settled in.
“Tell me about being pregnant,” Maggie said. “No, wait. Tell me about getting pregnant. I assume it’s the hottie sheriff’s kid, but I can’t figure the timing. You haven’t been living with him that long.”
“We hooked up not long before I went back to Darby Crossing,” Caitlin said and spilled everything about that night when she’d unexpectedly met Brian at the country swing bar. Then she talked about living with Brian and how they’d rekindled their old romance. She told Maggie about how Brian had helped her pursue a police report that resulted in Seamus’s arrest and the restoration of their money for the tattoo parlor. By the time she was done, they’d eaten the pizza and giant bowls of ice cream.
“I want to check my bank account,” Caitlin said, heading for her laptop. “The detective I spoke to last said the money would be restored any day now.” She logged into her account, something she hadn’t let herself do during her time in her hometown. Seeing the low balance was too upsetting, so she’d avoided it. Aurora had paid her by direct deposit, but Caitlin hadn’t touched any of the money she’d earned. If she needed something, she bought it out of her tips. “Here goes.” She clicked the last button and saw her balance appear. “Wow.”
“Is it back?” Maggie came to lean over her shoulder.
Caitlin saw a recent, large deposit, almost equal to the amount Seamus had stolen from her. But it was the amounts that had come in from her work at the diner that really caught her eye. The amounts were for more than she was supposed to have made. Aurora had overpaid her. She knew her old friend was generous, but she couldn’t accept the extra funds. She reached for her phone and sent a text to Aurora, asking how she could return the overpayment.
You weren’t overpaid, sweetie,Aurora texted back.
That’s more than I earned. Caitlin appreciated all Aurora had done for her, but she wasn’t taking charity.
It’s exactly what you earned. Brian refused to take payment for housing. He told me if I took it out of your paycheck, he’d arrest me. That was followed by a smiley face emoji. I wondered when you’d notice.
Fresh tears came to Caitlin’s eyes at what Brian had done for her.
“Why did you break up with Brian?” Maggie asked after handing Caitlin the tissue box. Her friend had seen the text messages. “You didn’t get to that part of the story.”
“What makes you think I broke up with him?” Caitlin sniffed.
“Because you’re crying like your heart’s been cut in two,” Maggie said. “And why would you be here if it was going well with him?”
“You and I planned a business together. I came back to fulfill my half of the bargain.” There was truth to that. She just hadn’t wanted to return to Austin alone.
Maggie tilted her head. “The truth, Cait. What happened? You’re obviously not happy about it.”
“He picked his love for the town over his love for me.” She explained about Brian’s attachment to Darby Crossing and his fear that people wouldn’t be safe without him. Talking about it made him seem like a selfless hero. But she’d never doubted that he was the best man she’d ever known, so that wasn’t surprising. None of it was, including her heartache, her loneliness, and the sense of futility about it all.
“I get that you don’t want to live there since your parents are shits and toxic as hell,” Maggie said. Her assessment of Caitlin’s parents almost made Caitlin smile. “But…”
“What?” Caitlin asked.
“Are you judging him too harshly? I mean, knowing that you’ll be second fiddle to a town is tough, and I don’t want to see you get your hopes raised and dashed by him when he doesn’t come through for you. You’ve got enough emotional scars from your parents. But…but I’m thinking he’s got some scars, too. If he really thinks that his brother and father died because he wasn’t there, that’s some serious baggage to haul around.”
Maggie was right. Brian’s guilt wasn’t rational, but it was deep-seated. “I was hoping a change of environment would help. If he came here—”
Maggie shook her head. “That’s not how it works. Say he came here and took a job on a local department or in private security. Don’t you think he’d throw himself into his work in the same way?”
“Yeah,” Caitlin admitted. “Because that’s how he’s wired.” Caitlin had worried about that, but she thought it was worth the risk for them to be together.
“No, Cait,” Maggie said. “He’s wired to help others, but what he’s experiencing is a compulsion to cover up the wounds he’s carrying.”
“So it’s hopeless,” Caitlin said.
“Not necessarily. He has some issues, but they aren’t about moving to the city. They’re about getting over the past. Do you think he’d be willing to work on that?”
Caitlin shrugged, too close to tears again to risk saying anything. Maggie’s words had her second-guessing herself, but she felt strongly that if she hadn’t taken care of her needs and let him go when she had, then she would never be able to. She already loved him so much. Staying with him longer, pretending that things were okay between them, would only make the hurt greater when it inevitably ended between them.
“Let’s talk about something else, okay?” Caitlin said, struggling to get her emotions under control. “Other than looking at storefronts, I have no idea what you’ve been up to for the past few months.”
As Maggie talked about her baby nephew and a guy she’d gone out with twice, Caitlin tried to smile along. Inside, though, she couldn’t get past the thought that she’d just walked away from the best thing in her life.
After they watched a movie together, Maggie went to bed, leaving Caitlin to sleep on the couch. She had pillows and a blanket, everything that should make her comfortable, but she couldn’t settle. She’d needed to pour her heart out to Maggie, and it helped in a way, but it also sharpened the edges of her grief.
She sighed and stared at the ceiling. Her body was tired, but her mind was restless with “what ifs.” Her phone glowed with a notification and she grabbed for it, hoping it was a message from Brian. It wasn’t. Instead it was an update from a baby tracker app that Brian had shown her. The app sent messages about the current size and development of the baby.
She read through the information, fighting the almost desperate need to call Brian and share it with him. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop there. She’d end up begging him to come join her in Austin. If he thought she needed him, he’d come. He couldn’t resist helping someone in need. And she could use that against him because she knew if she called, crying on the phone, claiming that she couldn’t do this without him, he’d quit his job and come.
But that wasn’t fair to him, and she’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t manipulate people like her parents had, especially people she loved.
She got off the couch and took her phone into the kitchen, placing it inside a drawer and sparing herself the temptation. Determinedly, she marched back to her makeshift bed and forced herself to lie down.
She’d fallen in love with a man who had the qualities of a hero, she told herself, and she would not take advantage of that and pressure him to do something he would not choose to do.
She would be okay. She was strong. She’d survived plenty in her lifetime, and she could manage this sadness, although it was greater than any she’d ever experienced.
She wasn’t leaving the relationship empty-handed, though. She carried their baby and would have the child to love even if she didn’t have the father. That was something no one could ever take from her.
