The Bold and the Bullheaded by Willow Aster

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Emma

Jack is not happy with me, but I’m too angry about the fact that Spence came here and talked to him before I did to care all that much. How could he do that to me?

“Help me understand why you wouldn’t come to me? My God, Emma. You’re like a daughter to me. That asshole put his hands on you.” Jack is pacing around the room and I’m worried he’s going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t settle down.

“This is why. You can’t treat me like your daughter at the office. I’m an employee and a capable one.”

Jack moves to sit in his desk chair and leans forward. His gaze is hard. “I am handling this the way I’d handle any employee being harassed. But I’m disappointed that you, someone that I consider to be family, didn’t come to me.”

“At first I thought it would just go away. And then I knew I needed proof,” I say, throwing my hands in the air.

“Proof? You didn’t think I’d trust you?”

“I knew that he would deny it. I didn’t want to be labeled the girl that starts drama. I thought I could handle it. And I did,” I huff because everyone is so focused on why I didn’t tell them instead of the fact that I recorded the asshole.

“You should have come to me, Em.” The disappointment in his eyes is absolutely crushing. “I wouldn’t have let it go on this long.”

“Proof is ninety-nine percent of the law,” I say, desperate to make this right.

“And pride can cost you a case every single time. Your pride got in the way. You know I would have believed you. You didn’t tell your boyfriend the truth either. Instead of being so angry at everyone for bringing it forward, maybe you should stop and see why you don’t trust the people that you love. The people that love you.” He pushes to his feet and studies me.

“Jack,” I say, and my voice trembles.

“Proof might win cases in the courtroom, but if you don’t let people in, the people you’re close to—you’re going to find yourself alone.”

A lump forms in my throat making it difficult to swallow. I look down at the floor because I don’t know what to say.

“So what happens now?” I finally ask.

“I fire the son of a bitch. And not because you’re family, and not because I love you—I’m firing him because what he did was wrong. I’ve had a bad feeling about him for a long time, but nothing solid to base it on. Miranda tells me about conversations she overhears with him on the phone, but again, nothing solid. And if you don’t even feel comfortable telling me, how many others have there been?” He leans his head onto his hand and looks much older all of a sudden.

I make my way to the door. I pause but can’t find the words.

“Hey, Emma,” Jack says as my hand reaches for the knob.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so sorry this has been going on all this time. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I swear it. And … don’t be too hard on Spence. The guy was worried sick about you. Don’t punish him for loving you.”

I nod, swallowing hard with all the emotions welling up in my chest, and make my way out of the office.

Everyone is in the hallway talking about what happened. I’m embarrassed for how it all played out, but I knew in order to make sure everyone knew the truth about Arwin, I needed to share that recording with my coworkers.

A few people pat me on the shoulder and Miranda high-fives me as I move toward my office.

“Girl power,” she whispers. “You can plan on hearing some strong bitches singing over the loudspeaker over the next few weeks.”

My jaw drops open because the woman has always acted so prim and proper. I force a smile. “Thanks, Miranda.”

Mya is sitting in my office when I walk in. She pushes to her feet.

“What happened?”

“He’s firing Arwin. But he’s so upset at me for not telling him about it sooner.”

“Yeah. I understand why he’s upset,” she says.

“And I’m mad at Spence. It wasn’t his place. He doesn’t think I can take care of myself?”

“I don’t think that’s it. I think he just loves you so much and he worries about you. I feel really guilty because I told Jesse what Arwin did.” She holds her hands up when I start to interrupt. “Em, listen to me. I was worried for you. That’s what family does. They care. You can’t get mad at everyone who cares for you.”

I shake my head. Is everyone turning on me today? I reach for my purse and my coat and I leave the office without another word.

When I get to Kingsley’s Auto Shop, I look up to see my dad already waiting for me. He moves toward me and wraps his arms around me before leading me to his office.

“You okay, kiddo?”

I drop in the chair across from him and struggle to find the words. The lump in my throat is so large, it’s hard to speak.

“Everyone’s mad at me.”

“I doubt that. I’ve already talked to Jack. He isn’t mad at you. He’s disappointed that you didn’t come to him. And honestly, I’m a little pissed that you didn’t come to me. What’s up with that?”

I groan and my head falls back. “I had it handled,” I say for the umpteenth time, albeit a little softer now.

“Emma, look at me,” he says and his voice is firm.

I meet his gaze and all I see is warmth.

And love.

And trust.

“What?” My voice wobbles and I hate how emotional I sound. I’ve worked hard to not show this kind of weakness.

“You were dealt an unfair hand—”

“Dad,” I interrupt because I don’t want to make this a bigger deal than it is.

“No. Listen to me. You have a shitty mom. And I’m sorry about that. But that does not define you. That does not mean that you can’t trust anyone. You have so many people who love you. What are you so afraid of?” He is on his feet now and crouching down in front of me.

“Dad,” I say again, and my words break on a sob.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

I will not cry.

That trick doesn’t work anymore.

“Honey, if I’ve made you think you can’t ever show you’re upset, I apologize. I tried to make you tough, because the world isn’t always kind. But that didn’t mean that you couldn’t trust anyone.”

I cover my face with my hands, and he tugs them down.

“Stop hiding, Queenie. Run away from the bad stuff, not the good stuff.”

“How do you know about what happened? From Jack?”

He pushes to his feet and sits back down. “Nope. Spence was here. He was worried about you. I gave him my support in going to talk to Jack. And I stand by that.”

“How could you? I’m a grown woman. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. Haven’t I proven that by now?” I’m on my feet, my voice rising with every word.

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

“What the hell does that even mean? I’m so tired of hearing that,” I say, and I shake my head with disbelief. My dad has always had my back, so this hurts.

“It means that you have people who love you. Stop pushing everyone away. Stop behaving like a stubborn ass. Loving people means trusting them. Caring for them. And it goes both ways. If Spence had someone treating him poorly, would you just stand by and do nothing? I highly doubt that. So think about it before you lose the first guy I’ve ever seen you truly love.”

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.

Because he’s right.

Dad walks toward me and places a hand on each of my shoulders. “Just because your mom left, does not mean everyone will leave. I’m still here. Mya’s still here. Yaya. Hell, Stinky Pete, Little Joe, Fish, Jack, and the G.D. Taylors … everyone is still here. Stop fighting it, sweetheart.”

I nod and he pulls me in for a hug. Tears stream down my face and I don’t even try to stop them anymore.

“I didn’t expect it to be so hard,” I say, and my words are muffled by my sobs.

“The best things in life don’t always come easy. So you fight for them. You’re a fighter, Queenie. You’ll figure it out.”

We stand like that for a little while before I make my way out of Dad’s office. I need some time to process this day. All the things that happened.

“Oh my God. Are your eyes puffy? I didn’t think you had tears inside that cold, jaded heart,” Little Joe says over a laugh.

“Bite me. It’s allergies,” I say and can’t help but laugh.

“Glad to see you letting it out, Emma. It’s okay to show you’re human sometimes.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and walks me out.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I say, and give him a quick hug before moving to the stairs to my door.

“Hey, Em.”

“Yeah?” I’m surprised by how tired my voice sounds.

“I don’t know what all’s going on, but Spence is in it for the long haul. He was here today and I thought he came to ask for your dad’s permission to propose. When I asked him, he didn’t even flinch. That dude loves you something fierce.”

He does.

I believe that completely.

So why am I punishing him?

How could I still hold anything back?

I nod and make my way upstairs. I need a hot bath and some time to think.

* * *

Sleeping without Spence is torture. I feel like I’m missing a limb. Or my entire heart.

Because the truth is—I love Spence Taylor so much it scares the shit out of me. I didn’t tell him about Arwin because I was afraid that if I let him in, if I depended on him … I would fall apart when he let me down.

But that’s just me living in fear. And I’m not about that. It’s like my mantra—never give in to fear … never let it hold me back. Hell, I’ve worked so hard not to be afraid of anything, yet I’m afraid of the most important thing in my life.

Love.

It’s a harsh truth to realize that despite how independent I’ve always been, I am emotionally stunted when it comes to love.

I’ve come a long way, but I still have so far to go.

Mya calls and I talk to her for a long time. And I even break down and call Yaya for advice. Everyone across the board thinks I am sabotaging everything because I’m afraid of my feelings for Spence.

And they are so right.

I haven’t told him that I love him, when I’ve known I do for months.

I’ve held back what I share with him because I’m so afraid of being dependent on him, and in the end, I am anyway.

I’ve been hurting us both this whole time. And I need to fix it, but I don’t know how.

He hasn’t called or texted since leaving my office. I’ve been angry at him, when I should have been thanking him. I’m still peeved that he went around me, but the rage in me has simmered considerably. Because I know what he did came from a place of love.

Mya told me that Spence went to Mean Mug with his brothers late last night and was pretty upset. I feel sick to my stomach and am thankful that it’s Saturday, and I have the weekend to figure things out.

I want to fix what’s easy to fix first, so I walk over to Jack’s house, which is only a few blocks away. Whack Jack is family, and I need to apologize to him.

I knock on his door and his wife Sarah answers the door. “Sweetheart, hello. It’s freezing out there. Get inside.”

“Thank you.” I take my coat off and hang it on the coat rack. They’ve lived in this brownstone for as long as I can remember, and I loved coming here when I was a kid.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” she asks, leading me into the kitchen.

“Sure. Thank you. Is Uncle Jack here?”

“He is. And he’ll be happy to see your beautiful face. He told me about what happened with that dirty bastard, Arwin. I never liked that man.”

The stairs creak behind me and Jack appears in the doorway.

“Hey there, Queenie. What brings you over here this morning?” he asks, pulling me in for a hug.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and it’s as if my new favorite hobby is slobbering all over people because I start crying again.

Apparently once you let the floodgates open, it’s impossible to stop them.

“Damn, girl. I didn’t know you were capable of crying. Can’t wait to tell the guys at Kingsley’s that you aren’t an alien after all,” he teases over his laughter, still holding me tight.

“Stop that nonsense, Jack.” Sarah hits him on the arm with a rolled-up newspaper.

“I’m just giving her a hard time. It’s about time you let some of those feelings out.” He lets me go and we all three sit at their kitchen table.

“I should have come to you. I don’t know why I didn’t, but I’m working on figuring that out.”

“That’s good enough for me.” He sips his coffee and then sets his mug down. “I will be apologizing for the rest of my life for not seeing the extent of it myself. I’m sorry, Queenie.”

“Arwin was good at doing things on the sly. None of this is your fault.”

“Arwin was escorted off the premises yesterday. He will not be returning.”

“What will happen to him?”

“I’m sure he’ll land somewhere else, but he won’t be getting a reference from me. And with two broken fingers and his walking papers, I can’t imagine his wife won’t figure out what’s going on. I might’ve helped that situation along by sending her that little recording you forwarded to me.” He rubs his hands together.

My eyes widen. “Nice work.”

He grins. “Thanks to you.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he says, and his smile reaches his eyes, which tells me we are going to be okay.

“What did Spence say to you yesterday?”

“When will I get to meet the handsome boyfriend?” Sarah asks.

“I never said he was handsome.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“Yaya told me he’s a real looker.” Sarah says, winking at me.

“Average at best,” he says, before breaking out into a grin. “Okay, a little better than average. He came in and he was concerned. Said you hadn’t told him the details, but he’d heard Arwin had touched you. I swear he looked proud when he said you pounded the bastard’s fingers. And then he just told the truth.” He took a sip of coffee as he studied me.

“What’s that?”

“He said he loved you and he wanted to make sure you were okay, but he was afraid if he came to me, he’d lose you. But in the end he had to follow his heart, because it already belonged to you.”

I suck in a strained breath, and Sarah claps her hands together. “Swoon.”

“Oh, since when do you swoon?”

“Since someone professed their love for our Queenie,” she says, reaching for my hand. “Sounds like you’ve got a good one, sweetheart.”

“I sure hope I’ve still got him.”