The Bold and the Bullheaded by Willow Aster

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Spence

I’ve definitely lost my man-card along the way. I’ve never let it get to me, the way the sibs give me shit for all the Hallmark movies, but when I find myself acting like I’m living in one, all morose and moping around when I’ve lost my girl … well, I don’t even know what to say for myself.

I’ve had way too much alcohol over the past twenty-four hours. My eyes are bloodshot from drinking and watching movies and trying not to cry. When I’ve watched Don’t Go Breaking My Heart for the fifth time and wish I could sign up for the fucking Breakup Boot Camp, I know I’ve lost my ever-loving shit.

No, I don’t fucking cry, but I sure as hell want to and I’m pretty sure that counts.

Why the hell did I have to go and insert my sorry ass into her fucking business? She told me she had it covered, and turns out, she did. I have replayed that moment of hearing the conversation on the loudspeaker at her work over and over, feeling every emotion from rage that I hadn’t broken the bastard’s fingers myself to overwhelming pride over what Emma did.

I’m in awe of that woman every day and this just cements that fact. She is a fucking legend.

But then I circle back around to the fact that I would do it all over again in a heartbeat because I love her and I’ll always try to do whatever it takes to protect her.

And bottom line: she doesn’t know what to do with that kind of love.

Not from me anyway … and maybe not from anyone.

What I wouldn’t do to give her mother a piece of my mind right about now.

I have a beer in my hand and am staring numbly at the screen in front of me when the brothers walk in.

“I should’ve never given you the key,” I mutter.

“Oh, come on now, aren’t you happy to see our sweet faces?” Gus grins. He puts his hand on my forehead as if checking my temperature and I flick his hand away. “You look pale,” he says.

“It’s called freaking heartbreak. You wouldn’t understand,” I yell at him. Normally they’d all laugh at my foul mood, but they sit down around me and stare at me like I’m an exhibit.

A bunch of glum bastards is what we are.

“I’ve been thinking,” Caden starts, and no one even teases him about thinking. Emma has zapped the humor right out of us. “You could surprise her with a weekend trip to,” he turns to Jesse who shrugs, “shit, I don’t know where, but somewhere beautiful where she would have no choice but to hear you out and—”

“Kidnap her? That’s your plan?” I snap.

“No,” he snaps back and then puts his hand on my shoulder in apology. “Just hate to see you like this, man.”

I squeeze the back of his neck when I stand up, my way of saying there’s nothing to forgive. They mean well, all of my brothers do. Pen has been blowing up my phone too, and I keep avoiding Mom’s calls.

“Have you talked to her?” Jesse asks.

“No.”

“Why the hell not?” he says.

I glare at him and then back into the wall, needing something to hold me up. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit. It pains me to say that to them when I’m supposed to have my act together. “I think she’s gotta decide—”

There’s a tap, tap on the door, so quiet I think I’ve imagined it, but Gus hops up and sprints to the door, swinging it open wide.

“Our little ball-buster is here, in the flesh,” he says, turning around and beaming. “Brothers, I need some assistance with … uh, a hemorrhoid cream...”

“The fuck?” Caden says.

I can’t stop staring at Emma and the way she’s moving toward me tentatively, like she’s nervous or—oh God, don’t let her be done with me for good.

“Not hemorrhoid cream, God, what am I saying?” Gus laughs and the brothers are rushing to the door. “A muscle relaxer? Uh, we’re out of here.”

The door closes and the silence is deafening.

Emma steps closer to me and I take in the puffiness and dark circles under her eyes. I want to take her in my arms and make the pain go away for both of us. But I wait to see what she says.

She opens her mouth and clamps it shut, her eyes fill with tears and she lifts her head to the ceiling, shaking her head as a few tears drop.

“I hate this new crying jag,” she says. “I really hate it.” She presses her lips together and I can’t help it—I reach out and take her hand and pull her close to my chest.

She wraps her arms around my waist, her head on my chest, and she sighs like she’s finally home. Or maybe that’s me, sighing because she’s finally home.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I’m really fucking sorry.”

She lifts her head and looks up at me, and her expression guts me. “No. I’m sorry. I went about all of this the wrong way. I should’ve talked to you, I should’ve let you know what was going on from the beginning. I should’ve trusted you.” She leans her forehead on my chest. “I love you,” she says softly.

I tilt her head back. “What did you say?”

“I love you. I love you so much. I have for so long now, and I don’t know why it terrifies me, but it does. I love you so much it hurts, Spence. I want to marry you and have your babies and come home to you every single night for the rest of my life. I want to wake up to your mouth on me and to go to sleep with your arms wrapped around me—” she chokes back a sob and I have my hands on both sides of her cheeks, staring at her as the sweetest words pour out of her mouth.

“You want to marry me?” I ask.

She presses her lips together and then lets out a shaky breath. “Are you asking?” she says, smiling slightly.

“Are you asking?” I tease.

She straightens and her expression goes from light to completely serious. “I am asking,” she says.

My heart drops to the ground and stays there.

“You have shown me what love is, shown me that I could have a love like this when I thought it was impossible ...you’ve shown me what it means to stay.” Her voice breaks and so help me, I’m struggling to keep it together myself. “I love you, Old Solemn. With everything in me, I love you. I know I’m a lot. That won’t be changing. You’re a lot too, and I love every single grumpy thing about you. We’ll find our way through our controlling issues, won’t we?” Her hands are on my face too and we’re staring through each other like we can find the secrets to all our problems if we just never look away. She’s quiet and I realize she’s waiting for me to say something.

“You are everything I want, Queenie Kingsley. I believe we can get through anything together. I would marry you today if you’d have me.” I lean in and kiss her, softly at first, and then it grows to a raging inferno in seconds the way it always does with her.

She pulls away, her chest rising and falling against mine as she catches her breath.

“I can’t marry you today because my dad and Yaya and Mya would kill me, oooh, Pen and your mom would not be happy either … and Gus.” She makes a face. “Give me a few months?” She buries her face in my neck, laughing. “Listen to me. I couldn’t even say the words I love you out loud until today and now I have us married within months.”

I grin, picking her up and wrapping her legs around my waist as I walk to the bedroom. “It’s perfect. It’s the way we do everything. All or nothing. I’ll marry you whenever you say, Em. All I know is you’re not spending a night away from me again. Got it?”

Her lips are against mine as she says, “There’s that controlling maniac I know and love…”

I can’t get enough of her saying she loves me. Makes me feel like I’m on top of the goddamn world. I place her on the bed and lean over her. “Talk to me. That’s all I ask. And I’ll do my best to trust your instincts … from here on out.”

“We will probably always butt heads a little,” she says, grinning. “As long as we end up right here…”

* * *

“Can you handle one more box?” Emma asks, and I laugh when she piles it on top of the two I’m already holding.

Everything is labeled with different colored duct tape. The girl lives in a fairly small apartment but manages to have a shit ton of stuff.

“I’ve got it,” I say, and she leans around the boxes and kisses me.

“I cannot handle all this PDA when I’m trying to follow this intricate color-coding system. My brain hurts.” Gus is holding one of the many color code sheets that Emma made and lets out a deep exhale.

I carry the boxes out to the U-Haul we rented and load it up even more. We’re almost done, and thank God, because Gus can only handle so many hours of physical labor before he needs a meal. And a bubble bath.

And a cocktail.

The dude is high fucking maintenance.

Jesse, Sam, and Little Joe follow me back upstairs for the final load.

They grab the last few boxes, and Gus and Caden follow them out the door.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Emma whispers, as she looks up to meet my gaze.

“I mean, you’ve got a lot of shit to fit in your two tiny drawers. We had to do something.”

She laughs. “You sure you’re okay with me taking over your place? You know I have big plans for the interior. We’re going to soften it up. Add some feminine touches.”

“It’s our place, Queenie. You can do whatever you want.”

“Thank you. I’m really happy we’re moving in together,” she says.

“Me too. Living in sin and planning our wedding. Does it get any better?”

“It just keeps getting better,” she says.

When we get back to the condo, we grab sandwiches and eat before we unload. Once everyone is fueled, we start carrying up boxes. Mya and Emma stay upstairs and start moving things around and unloading her clothes into the closet.

When the final box is unloaded from the U-Haul, and Emma’s father and Little Joe head back home, my brothers all drop down to sit on the couch. Emma grabs a couple of beers and passes them out.

“I got you both a little present,” Gus says to Emma and Mya, and he pushes to his feet and reaches inside a shopping bag.

“You did? What for?” Mya asks.

“Because I love you both so goddamn much and just wanted to do something nice for you.” He pulls out one more box and hands it to Caden. “And this is for you for taking on all the extra work at the office.”

I glance over and see that Jesse is holding his hand over his mouth like he can barely contain himself. I know something’s up, but I sit back and enjoy the show.

Gus hands a white box to each of them. There’s a gold ribbon on each one and the girls both clap their hands and drop down in front of the coffee table to open it. Caden is watching them. The dude knows something’s up, and he’s ready for it. You can’t kid a kidder, and Caden is usually one step ahead.

“This is really sweet of you,” Emma says. They each untie the bow at the same time.

“Let’s open together. One, two,” Mya says, and Caden rolls his eyes but plays along, “three…”

They lift the top and both girls scream and fall back when some sort of slinky, wiry-looking snake launches out of each box. Caden hits something on his phone and laughs. Gus is on his feet, and he tears the lid off of a large can of something.

Silly string?

What grown man happens to have a can of hot pink silly string in his coat pocket?

Gus. Need I say more.

The girls are screaming and laughing as they hold their hands over their heads and he douses them in pink goo. Caden, Jesse, and I just sit back and laugh.

“Payback is a bitch, ladies. Juniper fucking Holloway sends his regards! This is the tip of the iceberg, brother,” he says to Caden before shooting silly string at him.

Emma and Mya tackle Gus, laughing hysterically. The door flies open and a dude in a mask screams, “Gus Taylor! Juniper fucking Holloway says he’s watching you.”

The guy runs out the door and Gus attempts to hide behind me, but falls over the couch and the room erupts in laughter.

“Who the hell was that?” I lean close and ask Caden.

“Juniper fucking Holloway.” He smirks, proud as shit that he’d come prepared for Gus’ little prank.

I just take it all in.

There’s not much more that I could ask for.

I’ve got everything I need.

A growing business.

An incredible family.

And the most amazing fiancée.