Something Unexpected by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 27
Beck
I HATED TOinvolve my grandmother. But after four days in New York, things between Nora and me had changed. So I had no choice but to call and dig around.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
“If I had a tail, I’d be wagging it.”
I smiled. “Any plans for today?”
“Sip and paint. Can’t wait.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a painting class where you drink wine. My friend Lucille and I are going. She found a place where the subject is a nude male model. Wine, naked men who aren’t wrinkly prunes, and my friend—not sure it gets too much better than that.”
There was my opening. “Lucille? How come Nora isn’t going with you? That sounds right up her alley, too.”
“She had other plans.”
“What plans?” As soon as the words tumbled from my mouth, I knew I’d made a mistake. Gram would zip her lips tighter than a clam when she caught on that I was poking around for information and not just making conversation.
“That’s a question for Nora, not me.”
I raked a hand through my hair. “It’s hard to ask someone a question when they don’t return your calls.”
“She’s probably busy.”
“Doing what?”
“Beck…”
“Fine,” I grumbled. “Have a good time with your naked man.”
“Oh, I will. I definitely will.”
After I hung up, my brother walked into my office. I hadn’t yet filled him in on everything that had gone down in Utah, about Nora’s health.
“So get this…” As usual, he parked himself in my guest chair, reclining into it like he was at home on a La-Z-Boy. “This woman called me at one in the morning a few nights ago, bawling me out.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing. It was a wrong number. But we wound up talking for four hours.”
I shook my head. “There’s something wrong with you.”
“What? She cursed at me in Italian. It was sexy as hell.” My brother squinted. His eyes roamed my face. “Did you lose weight? Your eyes look kind of sunken into your head.”
“Thanks.”
“No, really. You don’t look so hot.” He thumbed over his shoulder toward the door. “Are you sick? Because I don’t want to catch it and miss my date with my crank caller tomorrow night.”
I sighed. “No, I’m not the one sick.”
Jake frowned. “Gram isn’t doing well? I talked to her last night, and she sounded great.”
“No, she’s fine.”
“I’m lost. Then who’s sick?”
I really needed someone to talk to other than my grandmother. Jake was younger and not the most mature person in the world, but I had no idea how to navigate things with Nora, and I could use an outsider’s opinion. I motioned to my office door. “Shut that, will you?”
“You mean with me on the other side of it?”
That made me smile. “No, believe it or not, I actually mean with you on this side.”
“Oh shit.” He stood. “Big bro’s got a secret to share with me. Don’t think that’s happened since you swore me to secrecy after I got bit by the neighbor’s dog—with the secret being that I was now half dog and half human.”
I shook my head. “You pissed holding up one leg for a month and started sniffing shit. You’re so gullible.”
Jake shut the door and returned to his seat. This time he sat tall, maybe even gave me his full attention. “What’s up?” he said. “What’s going on?”
There wasn’t a good place to start, so I jumped right in. “Nora didn’t meet Gram because they live in the same building. They met at a Living at the End of Your Life meeting. It’s a support group. They’re both members.”
His brows knitted, and a few seconds later his eyes flared wide. “Nora’s dying?”
For the next twenty minutes, I told Jake the whole story—about her surgeries, diagnosis, and the heart attack she’d had out in Utah.
“Damn. And there’s nothing they can do? She’s so young.”
“I’ve had consults with six doctors, world-class experts in their field. They all say her only shot is a heart transplant. But the wait is long, and the survival rate post-op is short for someone with her illness. When I made the appointment, I’d hoped Nora would be the one talking to the doctors, but she’s like Gram. She’s made the decision to enjoy the time she has left and not have any more surgeries or treatments.”
“Man…” Jake shook his head. “I’m really sorry. I knew you liked her a lot, and she and Gram seem really tight.”
I looked my brother in the eyes. “We’ve been seeing each other. I’m in love with her.”
“Oh fuck.”
We sat quietly for a few minutes. Jake needed time to let it all sink in, and I needed time to suck back my emotions.
“Anyway,” I said. “She’s blowing me off now. When we got back from Utah, she started pulling away. She thinks she doesn’t have much time, and she doesn’t want to hurt me. I’ve been giving her space because I’m afraid if I don’t, she’ll cut me off completely. But I don’t know how to handle things. I mean, if she’s right and she doesn’t…” I paused and swallowed. “If she doesn’t have much time, I want to spend what’s left with her.”
“So why the hell are you sitting here?”
“I just told you. I’m afraid if I push, she’ll close the door on me completely.”
“When was the last time you saw her?”
“Four days ago, when the car dropped her off at home. I tried to get her to come home with me. She’s still weak. But she wanted to go to her place. I called her the next morning, and she told me she was busy catching up on work. The next day it was a different excuse. The last two days she hasn’t even returned my calls.” I yanked at my hair from the root. “I’m going out of my fucking mind.”
“It sounds like she’s already closed the door. So what do you have to lose by pushing?”
He had a point. I nodded.
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“You’re way smarter than me. You know the only answer here is to push. But you’re afraid that if you do, and she still doesn’t budge, it will be the end. Sitting here miserable, you don’t have to face that possibility. You can pretend it’s not over.”
Fuck. He was right. Of course I knew what I needed to do. I was just too chicken because I was afraid she’d confirm my worst fear—that it was over.
My brother watched my face and then smiled big. “You just figured out I’m right, didn’t you?”
“Shut up.”
He chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
My brother leaned forward. His face grew solemn. “I’m sorry, man. I was happy to see you actually interested in someone. If there’s anything at all I can do, just name it. I’ll step up with Gram more so you have time with Nora. You’re the golden grandchild and all, but I’m more entertaining anyway.”
“Thanks, Jake.”
On his way out, Jake stopped at the door. “Between Gram and Nora, it’s not going to be an easy road coming up.”
I nodded. “I know. But those two are worth every rough day coming, and then some.”
***
I stood outside Nora’s brownstone, looking at the names under the buzzers. Thankfully, Google knew where she lived, because I certainly hadn’t. The West Village brownstone seemed more fitting for her than my grandmother’s high rise.
Shaking my hands out, I took a few calming breaths. I’d always hated the drop-in and couldn’t remember ever doing it to someone in my adult years. But I’d called Nora twice more after my talk with my brother, and she’d left me no choice. I wasn’t even sure if she was home. Worse, I wasn’t confident that if she was, she’d let me in.
Nevertheless, I pressed the bell for 2D. A flood of adrenaline pumped through my veins as I waited.
“Hello?”
I let out a relieved sigh. “It’s Beck.”
“Oh. Ummm… Okay.” A buzzer noise sounded, and the outside door unlocked. Nora waited on the second floor with her apartment door half open.
I smiled.
She didn’t.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I hate when people drop in, too. But you haven’t been returning my calls.”
Nora sighed. “I’ve been busy.”
She didn’t move from the doorway when I got to the top of the stairs.
“Can I come in?”
She hesitated, but eventually nodded.
I only made it two steps into her apartment before I froze. Her kitchen was littered with cardboard boxes. “What’s all this?”
She looked down. “I’m packing. I pushed up my moving date.”
“To when?”
Nora wouldn’t look at me, so I knew the answer was going to stab me in the heart.
“Monday.”
“Monday? As in three days from now?”
She nodded.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe. “Were you even going to tell me?”
“Of course I was.”
“When?”
Nora kept looking down.
I was so angry and hurt, it was difficult to rein it in. I cupped her cheeks, forcing her head up until our eyes met. “When, Nora? When were you going to tell me? After you were gone? Were you going to send me a fucking postcard?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know. I hadn’t figured it out yet.”
“Why? Why are you leaving so soon?”
“That was always the plan. You knew that from the beginning.”
“But why leave early?”
“Because it’s time.” Tears rolled down her face, leaving streaks. “I promised my dad I’d come at the end.”
“But it doesn’t have to be the end, Nora. I spoke to doctors, and you have a chance. At least go on the list.”
Nora stepped back. My hands fell from her cheeks.
“You should go, Beck.”
“No.”
“Please, Beck. It’s hard enough to do this.”
I fell to my knees in front of her. Tears rained down my face. “Please, Nora.” My voice cracked. “Just go on the list. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for me. Do it for Louise. Do it for William.”
She shook her head. “Please go.”
“Nora, please. I will get the best doctors, the best surgeon. Is it legal to buy a heart anywhere? I don’t even care. I’ll buy you one on the black market if I have to. Just don’t quit on me. I’ll do anything you want,” I pleaded. “Please, sweetheart.”
She broke down in a sob. It killed me to cause her pain, but I didn’t know any other way to get through. Though I also couldn’t stand two feet away and watch her break down. So I wrapped her in my arms. She struggled for a few seconds, but then gave in, nearly collapsing into my hold. Her shoulders shook, and the room grew eerily quiet. I knew exactly what was coming. But that didn’t help me prepare for it at all. The silence was broken by the most excruciating sound I’d ever heard in my life. It was beyond a wail; it was the harrowing outpour of sheer agony. Like the right pitch can shatter glass, my heart splintered into a million pieces.
“Don’t cry, Nora. I love you. Please don’t cry.”
But she didn’t stop. And neither did I. We stood in that kitchen for what felt like forever, bawling our eyes out. Eventually though, our cries quieted to sniffles, and the shaking of our bodies steadied. I felt like such a selfish bastard.
“I’m sorry I upset you. I just don’t know how to get through.” I forced myself to look into her pained eyes. “I’m sorry, Nora.”
She swallowed and cleared her throat. “Did you mean it when you said you will do anything I want?”
“Of course.”
Nora looked into my eyes. “Then I need you to let me go.”
