Something Unexpected by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 29
Nora
BECK BLINKED WHENhe looked up and found me standing in the doorway. “Nora? What are you doing here?”
I smiled sadly and slanted my eyes to his brother, who was sitting on the opposite side of the bed. “A little birdie called.”
Beck raked a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know.”
I walked over and hugged Jake first, then went around to the other side of the bed. There was a moment of awkwardness, but then Beck let me hug him. “I’m so sorry, Beck.”
“I’m going to run downstairs and get some coffee,” Jake said. “You guys want anything?”
“No, thank you,” I said. Beck shook his head.
When it was just the two of us, I looked over at the monitors. “Is there any change from this morning, when Jake called?”
“No.”
I stared down at my friend. “She looks at peace.”
Beck nodded. “She does.” He glanced over and caught my eye. “How’s California?”
I forced a smile. “Sunny.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good.”
He nodded again. A few long moments ticked by with us just staring down at Louise.
“When my mom passed away,” Beck said softly, “I had a lot of pent-up anger. I wouldn’t talk about it, so my way of letting it out became fighting. I got into four fistfights after school in two months. Gram decided I needed an outlet. Most people would enroll their kid in karate or sign them up for boxing classes to channel their anger.” He shook his head and smiled. “But not Gram. Gram brought home a tree stump and a hammer and nails. Looking back, I don’t even know where she got that huge stump from—the thing had to be three feet around—or how she got it up to our midtown Manhattan apartment, for that matter. But she told me that if I woke up angry again, I should take a nail from the box and hammer it into the stump until I felt better. I think we went through three or four big boxes of nails. But eventually, I stopped hammering. One day I came home from school and all the nails had been pulled from the stump. Gram sat me down next to it and made me run my finger over the holes. She said that’s what taking out your anger on others does—it leaves scars. And the ones on people don’t go away so easily. This morning, she wasn’t answering her phone, so I went to check on her. She must’ve had an idea this was coming, because when I found her, there was a Mason jar full of rusty nails on her nightstand, with a note underneath. Just in case you need these again.” Beck’s eyes glistened. “There aren’t enough nails in the world to help me get over her.”
“Oh, Beck.” I couldn’t stop my tears. I laced my fingers with his and squeezed. “I’ve only known her a short time, but she’s made a giant impact on my life. I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you.”
“I’m glad you came,” he whispered. “She would’ve wanted you here.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I’m glad I came, too.”
He smiled through the pain etched in his face and looked down at Louise. “The doctors and nurses all seem surprised she’s hung on this long. Now I know why she did.”
“Why?”
“She’s been waiting for you.”
***
Less than an hour after I arrived at the hospital, Louise May Aster died at 10:04 PM. The doctors didn’t have to intervene, Louise’s breaths just slowed down until she had no more left, and she was gone.
The nurse suggested we each take a moment to say goodbye one at a time. I went first, while Beck and Jake stepped outside.
I said a little prayer, then held her hand while I spoke. “Death ends a life, not a friendship. So I hope I find you waiting for me on the other side, in a rubber wingsuit or with a parachute strapped to your back, ready to cause a ruckus. I love you, Louise.”
Jake went next. Beck and I watched through the glass as he spoke for a while, then leaned down and kissed his grandmother’s cheek before coming back out.
I knew Beck’s turn wouldn’t be easy. He was such a big, strong man, someone you couldn’t imagine losing control. But he did. And I felt his pain in my chest as I watched through the glass. Beck’s shoulders shook, but it looked like he was trying to rein it in, pull himself together. It was a battle he lost, and it all started to pour out. Beck leaned over and hugged his grandmother’s body, sobbing for the longest time. When he finally stood and walked out, I felt as broken as he looked.
“Fuck.” Jake pulled his brother in for a hug, and Beck was barely able to reciprocate. When they separated, it was my turn. I wrapped my arms around Beck and held him. He tried to break free a few seconds into it, but I refused to let go. Eventually he gave in, and suddenly he was crying all over again, all of his weight leaning on me.
I held him through it—held him like both our lives depended on it, until it was impossible to figure out whose tears had spilled onto the floor because we’d both cried so much.
“What can I do?” Pulling back, I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe the wetness from his cheeks. “Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe some fresh air will help?”
Beck stared at the ground, shaking his head.
“Maybe a drink?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not, Beck. Let me help. What do you need?”
He kept his head down for a long time. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. “Help me forget,” he said.
We’d come full circle. That’s what I’d told him the first time we were together, and now it would be our last. I nodded and took his hand. “Let’s forget together.”
***
Beck’s apartment was dark when we walked in. He made no attempt to turn on the lights. Instead, he crushed his lips to mine while we were still in the foyer. He’d been quiet on the way here, and all I wanted was to make him feel better. So when our kiss broke, I sank to my knees. Beck surprised me by hoisting me back up.
“Not like this. I don’t want a quick fix. I want to make love to you.”
I took a step back. “Beck…”
He reached for me. “I know what you’re willing to give me. I’m not asking for more. I just want to give you everything I have.”
“Oh, Beck.”
He reached out to me. I hesitated, but there was no way I could deny this man what he needed. Even if it would break my heart to take it and still walk away in the end. So I took his hand and followed him to the bedroom.
Beck never took his eyes off me as he peeled off my clothes. The way he looked at me—with so much intensity—I knew before we even started that tonight was going to ruin me.
He lifted me off my feet and carried me to the bed, setting me down gently in the middle. Normally, Beck was domineering, so unapologetically brazen, but tonight he was different. Soft almost. He climbed over me, kissed the scar over my heart, and looked into my eyes for the longest time before pushing inside. When he was fully seated, my eyes fluttered closed.
“No. Please look at me.”
I opened.
Beck’s eyes brimmed with emotion. “I fucking love you, Nora. I don’t care how many days I get, or how much heartache it causes in the end, I will never regret loving you.”
No one had ever said something so beautiful or looked at me that way. Tears prickled the corners of my eyes as Beck glided in and out, never breaking our gaze. I’d heard the words make love a thousand times in my life, but until this moment, I never understood them. Beck wasn’t just inside my body, he’d reached into my soul.
The room was so quiet that I heard nothing but our breaths and the sound of our bodies slapping together. Pretty soon, Beck’s jaw grew rigid, and I knew he was close.
“I love you,” he gritted out. “I fucking love you.”
That was it. I couldn’t take much more. So I wrapped my legs around his waist and crushed my lips to his. Things grew to a frenzy after that. Beck picked up speed, bucking hard against me as his thrusts increased in intensity. My orgasm knocked the wind out of me when it hit. Muscles pulsing, I moaned through every wave, every ripple. Beck must’ve sensed I was on my way back down, because he began his own climb. His hips ground down hard and fast, and he let out a loud groan.
After, I was completely drained—emotionally, physically, and mentally. I couldn’t imagine how much of a toll the day had taken on Beck. Yet he just kept gliding in and out of me, still semi-hard.
“Wow. That was…”
Beck leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. “Making love, to the woman I love.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded. “Thank you. I don’t think I realized how much I needed that tonight.”
“Just tonight?”
“Beck…”
He smiled sadly. “I know. But can we just for tonight pretend you’re not going to run out on me when daylight hits?”
