The Vengeance You Crave by Tracy Lorraine
Peyton
Tears continue to cascade down my cheeks as I make the drive back to Aunt Fee's house. My body trembles as those few moments with Luca play on repeat in my head. Every vicious word taunts me, every barbed insult and insinuation about being a whore hurt more and more every time I hear them. Yet, despite all of that, my skin still burns from where he touched me. My core muscles tighten with the memory of his fingers inside me.
I was so close. So close to just forgetting about my reality for just a few seconds and he took it from me.
A sob erupts as I pull to a stop outside the house.
I can't walk in there like this, Aunt Fee will take one look at me and demand to know what's wrong.
I could lie, sure. I've got enough to cry about in my life right now, but she'd see straight through it. She'd know that this was different. It is. It's different because it's about him. The only person I've ever given my heart to.
Instead of turning the engine off, I throw the car back into drive and pull off again.
I can't sit out here in case one of them notices, and I can't walk inside until I've got myself under control.
I drive around town, wishing that I was back in Rosewood and that I could go and sit on the beach. Listening to the crashing waves is perfect when you need to get out of your own head.
Luc and I used to spend hours down on the beach after dark just laying on the cool sand putting the world to rights.
My chest tightens. What I wouldn't give to go back to easier times with him.
I find a coffee shop with a drive-thru in the center of town and order myself the biggest hot chocolate with all the trimmings that they have before pulling into the parking lot, sliding my chair back and just allowing myself a moment to breathe.
My time with Luca was intense. Part of me is surprised by his brutality, his need to hurt me. But another part isn't. I've seen that side of him before. But in the past, it was only ever directed at his dad or occasionally an opposing player who touched a sore spot. It was never—other than just before I left—been directed at me quite like that.
A shiver races up my spine as I think about his electric touch. Although vicious and tinged with hate, it was exactly as I hoped it would be. The second he brushed his thumb over my nipple, the same electric sparks I remember all too well zipped through my body, assaulting my nerve endings.
My nipples harden once more, the throb in my clit returning from my lost orgasm. Resting my head back, I close my eyes and blow out a long, slow breath. I can almost feel the ghost of his fingers still deep inside me.
My head flies up as I realize what I'm doing.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I didn't want that. I didn't ask for that. Why am I sitting here fantasizing about it?
Shaking my head, my cheeks burn red hot in the knowledge that I'd have let that continue tonight, and possibly so much more given the chance.
It didn't matter the malicious words he'd spat at me. I was with Luca again. Something about his presence just spoke to my soul.
He knew it too.
It's why he played me like he did.
My hot chocolate is long gone by the time I start the engine once more, feeling like I'm going to be able to walk through Aunt Fee's front door and not give myself away instantly.
I don't realize just how late it is until I pull back up outside the house and notice that it's in darkness.
It's not often that Aunt Fee heads to bed before I'm home, but clearly, she got bored with waiting tonight.
With a heavy heart and a knot that seems to be a permanent fixture in the pit of my stomach, I head inside.
The house is as quiet as I expected, and I tiptoe down the hallway toward the kitchen to grab a glass of water to take upstairs with me.
I'm standing at the sink, staring at my reflection in the window before me, still questioning myself over how I felt tonight with Luca when a voice makes me drop the glass in my hand.
"Holy sh—moly," I curse when I spin around and see a small face looking at me with his brows drawn in concern. "You scared me, baby boy."
His lips twist in the way they always do when I call him that.
"You're late," he states.
"Err… yeah, I got held up. You should be asleep," I warn.
"I know." He stares at me with sad eyes. “I was waiting for you.”
"I'm sorry. You're okay though, right?"
He nods, but the sadness never leaves his face. I understand why. I feel the same pain on a daily basis too.
"Come on, let's get you to bed."
I help him back to his room and tuck him in.
"I don't like you working late, Pey."
"I know, baby. But sometimes we have to do things we don't like. It will get better, I promise."
"I miss her," he says, his soft voice cracking with emotion and shattering my heart all over again.
"I know, baby. I know."
I hold his small hand in mine, allowing his warmth to ground me. He holds my eyes for a minute but they soon become too heavy once more and he drifts off to sleep.
I watch him for a long time as he snores lightly, his raggedy lamb tucked under his head.
As I sit there, I make him the promise I have done a million times over in the last couple of weeks.
I promise to make everything okay. I promise to give you everything they couldn't.
With tears in my eyes, I drop a kiss to his forehead and slip silently out of the room.
While I might have been through hell in the past few months, that little boy has had it even worse.
All of this is for him. All of it.
I'll take everything Luca throws my way. All his vicious accusations and wicked touches because Kayden is my endgame here. He's lost too much for me to give up on him too.
* * *
I arrive at Ella's dorm later than I agreed because, after the night before, I knew I needed to have dinner at home.
It would be too easy to get swept up into college life while working as many hours as physically possible. But that's not my life now. I have responsibilities, and that little boy needs me.
I knew it was the right decision the second I stepped foot into the house after class and saw his little face light up.
He was working on his phonics with Aunt Fee, but she called time on their little lesson so the two of us could hang out.
He talked my ear off the entire time and then insisted on sitting beside me while we ate. It was like he was scared that if he even looked away for a second then I might vanish.
I got it. Hell, I more than got it. There were times in the past few weeks where I felt exactly the same.
Not wanting to disappoint him, I stayed and put him to bed. And I'm so glad I did. It was the reminder I needed for why I'm doing this. For why I'm putting myself through bullshit like last night.
I shudder, still able to feel the eyes of those guys on my skin.
I scrubbed every inch of my body twice as I stood under the scorching heat of Aunt Fee's shower once I left Kayden last night.
I told myself that I was washing Luca off me, but it was all lies. While a huge part of me might hate him for how he treated me, there was something about his scent clinging to my skin that just felt so right.
He might have been vicious, but I also know that while he's watching me, the other men can't touch me. Or at least, that's what I hope anyway.
I knock on the door to Ella's dorm before pushing it open and poking my head inside.
"Well, well, well," a guy says, immediately turning his stare on me. "What do we have here?"
My skin burns as the other two guys in the room hear his comment and also turn to look at me.
"Uh…"
"Don't even try it," a familiar voice barks from the end of the room.
After a beat, Ella emerges haphazardly wrapped in a bedsheet and gives each of them a look they probably should be scared of.
"Damn, girl. You are looking—"
"Finish that sentence and lose a testicle." She pops a hip, putting a hand on her waist.
"Jeez, who pissed in your margarita?" one of them growls.
"Peyton," she says, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth when she looks over at me. "This is West, Brax, and Micah. They're something akin to our dorm pets."
I snort a laugh at the incredulous looks on two of their faces.
"Hey," I squeak, trying to keep my amusement locked down.
"She's off-limits to you pigs, so only engage the brains in your heads, please."
"Not sure these two have anything up there," the one who's been the least interested in my arrival deadpans.
"Fuck you, man."
"Jesus. Come on." Ella holds her arm out and gestures for me to follow her.
I hear the hysterical laughter before I get to her room, and when we walk through, I discover Letty sitting on the bed with tears rolling down her cheeks while another girl that I've yet to meet is rolling around on the floor wrapped in a bedsheet.
"What the hell happened?" Ella demands.
"I think your margarita is too strong," Letty says innocently.
"When isn't it?" the other asks, finally getting to her feet, leaving the bedsheet behind and confidently standing in just her white strapless bra and panties.
"Hey, I'm Violet," she says with a smile.
"Uh… hey. I'm Pe—"
"Peyton. I've heard all about you, Pink. I think you're going to fit right in with this bunch of reprobates."
"You're aware that includes you, right, Vi?" Ella asks with a laugh, filling an empty glass from the pitcher sitting on the side and offering it over to me.
"I'm driving," I say, not taking it.
"It's okay, it's virgin for you and Letty."
"Oh, well. Thank you."
"Come sit down. Ella promised us mad skills with this but all I've seen so far is a girl wrapped in a bedsheet." She glances over at Ella, who admittedly does look exactly as she described.
"Don't worry, I've got it. Right, Vi? You remember last year? I'm just finding my flow."
She flips open a pink box and pulls out a huge pair of scissors.
"I really hope she knows what she's doing with them."
"Me too," Letty whispers back. "But at least Vi is first."
"Yes, but just how many margaritas is she going to have had by the time she gets to us?"
Letty's lips part to say something but she quickly realizes that I'm right. "Shit."
* * *
It’s well past midnight when I leave their dorm with a sheet and firm instructions on how to wear it come Friday night. My face hurts from laughing so much.
I can't remember the last time that happened.
I cast my mind back but come up blank for anything over the past five years.
Memories from before I left Rosewood hit me. Laughing with Luca. Acting like complete idiots until we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe.
A smile curls at my lips thinking of those two young kids who were still naïve about real life and just loving every day.
I'd give anything to go back to then. To running around the backyard with water pistols, to making dens and camping out overnight. To thinking that what the two of us shared would never break.
How wrong were we?
Everyone is once again asleep when I get home. Knowing that I was just hanging out with friends instead of working, Aunt Fee told me that she'd be able to relax properly, knowing I was safe. As much as I love her concern, I wish I wasn't putting any more stress on her shoulders. She's already had her life changed enough by us turning up here, I don't want to do anything to make it worse.
Unlike the night before, I fall asleep with a little bit of hope filling my veins. Things with Luca might be fucked up beyond belief, but I've actually made some friends. Some friends who might just be able to make my life here more bearable.
