The Vengeance You Crave by Tracy Lorraine
Luca
Not going to sit in the parking lot of The Locker Room last night was weird. It's become something of a sanctuary for me over the past couple of weeks. Just seeing her walk out of the building and to her car settled something inside me. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of standing in front of her Tuesday night.
My fists curl as I walk toward my morning class with my need for a repeat.
Her scent. Her taste. The little whimpers that involuntarily fell from her lips as I brought her right to the edge, they're all I can think about.
My cock swells as the image of her pressed up against my car, her tits exposed and my hand disappearing up her skirt fills my mind.
Fuck. I really needed that last night. But, watching her the past couple of weeks, I knew that it was her night off.
The hallway is empty as I make my way down to the elevator. I'm hardly surprised. I got sucked into the gym this morning and it wasn't until one of the coaching staff poked his head in to say something that I realized the time.
I needed the release. I needed something other than my own right hand that was doing very fucking little to take the edge off.
I need her.
Reaching down, I palm my growing cock, rearranging myself so I'm not about to walk into class, not only late but with a raging boner over the girl I should have forgotten long ago.
Hitting the call button for the elevator, I step inside and slam my hand down on the button for the correct floor.
Leaning against the back wall, I close my eyes as the doors shut, shutting me off from the rest of campus for just a little bit.
Right before the doors close, I hear a curse before the doors audibly stop moving.
Blowing out a breath that someone is about to ruin my peace, I rip my head from the wall and look to see who's joined me.
She glances up at the same time I do and we both suck in a sharp breath.
"Letty," I breathe.
"Shit." Her eyes widen in surprise and she quickly takes a step back but she's too late. The doors have already closed, caging us in together. "Um… h-how are you?"
I stare at her, my heart aching in my chest.
I hate how things turned out between us. I hate that she's now with that jerk. But what can I really do about it? She was never meant to be mine. I think deep down I always knew that, but I really wanted to believe that she was here for me.
Turns out fate had other ideas because she just put her and Kane in the same place, allowing them to sort their shit out. Although not before making me want to end the motherfucker for the way he treated her. And I know for a fact that I only know the basics of the situation.
Reaching up, I wrap my hand around the back of my neck as she steps into the enclosed space a little more.
The elevator jolts as we begin our ascent, and her scent fills my nose.
"I-I'm good. You?" I hate the awkwardness, and I know that most of it—hell, all of it—is because of me.
"Y-yeah. Things are really good." Unable to stop it, a soft smile spreads across her face, I assume, as she thinks about Kane.
Asshole.
"I'm glad."
We fall into an uncomfortable silence and I hate it. I hate everything that's happened between us. After Peyton left Rosewood all those years ago, Letty turned up like a fucking angel. I was in a bad place when our teacher decided that I'd be the perfect partner for the new girl. Fuck knows what he was thinking. Maybe he hoped she'd be a good influence on me because hell knows I was fucking up all over the place back then. Even my place on the team was at risk at one point when I was caught skipping, preferring to go to the beach to get fucked up instead of dealing with the fact I'd been betrayed and abandoned by my best friend.
My lips part to say something, but I can't find the words I want to say to her. An apology doesn't seem enough after all the shit I've put her through.
She's tried to reach out to me time and time again, and I've only pushed her farther away. It's probably best for her in the long run if I do.
I think it's pretty obvious that Kane and I are never going to see eye to eye, and I'm not sure where that leaves a friendship between us.
"Luc?" she whispers after what feels like the longest silence of my life.
Dragging my eyes from my feet, I look at her. My breath catches at how happy she looks, despite the concern that's currently causing a frown to mar her brow.
"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, utterly defeated where Letty is concerned.
Her eyes hold mine. The sparkle that was within them when she first stepped into the elevator has vanished, replaced with worry, pity even, and I hate it.
"Luc, it's—"
I suck in a breath waiting to hear the words I don't deserve from her when the doors open and reveal a large group of students waiting to get inside.
Silently, we move past the group and make our way down to our lit class.
Seeing as we're both late, the professor has already started and we both slip inside and find the first two empty seats we can, side by side.
It's the closest I've been to her in weeks, and I can't deny that it feels good to have her there.
Everything in my life is fucked beyond belief right now. I know most of that is my fault, and that the situation we've found ourselves in is entirely on me. But I'm starting to wonder if it's time to put it all behind me. Letty is the least of my concerns now that Peyton is in town.
She's happy. I can see that without even having to ask her. A few weeks ago, I was drowning in jealousy that she'd found in Kane what I wanted to give her.
I have no idea what our professor is saying, and seeing as it's our first class of the semester, I really should be paying attention. With the season over, it's time for me to get some credits in the bag but I can’t find it in me to focus.
My plan was always to graduate before I started playing pro football. It's just a shame that wasn't everyone's plan for me.
If Dad had his way, I'd be in this year's draft. First pick, obviously. But even if I did enter this year, I never would have been first after the season we just saw the back of.
It was embarrassing, and I know the responsibility for the clusterfuck lands on my shoulders. All the guys are pissed. I can see that just from looking at them. None of them have outwardly blamed me, but I know they do.
I fucked up. I dropped the ball—literally and figuratively. I totally lost sight of what was important as Kane stole the girl from under my feet.
But she was never my girl, was she?
I blow out a long, frustrated breath and slump down in the chair.
Movement to my side catches my eye and when I glance over, I find Letty studying me, her brows pulled together.
"Everything is going to be okay, Luc." She gives me a soft smile that I wish would make me feel better but all it does is make my chest ache for the way I treated her.
She reaches over and takes my hand. It's not an unusual move but the heat of her fingers against my skin makes my entire body jolt.
Not missing my reaction, she hesitantly pulls her hand back, muttering an apology as she does.
Every muscle in my body locks up tight as I stare at the door, my need to storm out and put all this bullshit behind me is strong.
I have no idea what I'm doing right now. Football, college, Letty, Leon, fucking Peyton.
I relax slightly just at the thought of her name. She's the only one who makes it all go away.
When I look at her, standing before her, everything else that's falling apart in my life goes quiet.
Dad's voice disappears, and all my failings as a friend, a captain, a teammate, a brother, all vanish.
It's just me and her. It's like I'm a kid again without the pressure of real life, only that my best friend is no longer that. She's a girl who lied to me. Betrayed me. And the fun we used to have together has morphed into my need to hurt her, to show her what her words, her accusations, did to me back then.
Aside from Leon who was existing in the same hell as me, she was the only one who got me. The only one who knew what my life was really like. The only one who knew how hard I battled with family issues and how badly I wanted things to be different.
And then she shattered all of it.
The pencil that was in my hand snaps under the pressure of my grip, the splintered wood digging into my skin.
My heart races as I stare down at it, feeling exactly like I did the day she dropped the bomb on me.
The auditorium around me blurs as I fight to get a grip on reality.
"Luc?" A warm hand lands on mine and fingers begin to pry mine open.
Her scent fills my nose and I blink a few times as Letty's image clears before me.
I glance around, finding that the seats are almost empty around me and the professor is nowhere to be seen.
Fuck.
"Come on, I'm buying you a coffee and a cupcake. And don't even think about arguing with me."
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't right now.
The darkness from my past is clawing at me, threatening to consume me.
I once again look around the room, willing her to appear to put it all to rest, but she never does. Instead, students just leave, too many casting curious glances my way.
When I still don't move, Letty wraps her hand around my bicep and does her best attempt at pulling me from the chair.
My lip curls up in a smile as I watch her efforts.
Blowing a lock of hair from her face, she looks up at me, exasperated.
"You're gonna need to help."
Running my eyes down her body, I'm relieved to see that she's finally putting some decent weight on. When I first ran into her at the beginning of the fall semester, she was skin and bones. But even with all the drama of the past few months, she seems to have managed to find the time to look after herself, or more likely—and I hate to even admit this—Kane has.
I might not like him. I might not trust him or think he's good enough for Letty. But since they've become official, he only seems to have treated her exactly as she deserves. And for that, I'm beyond grateful because of anyone I know, Letty deserves the happily ever after.
Having pity on her, I grab my still unopened notebook, shoving it into my bag, and then scoop up the shards of my now ruined pencil from the desk and slide out behind her. I drop the remains in the trash on the way out, looking at the pieces for a beat, seeing the resemblance to my life.
There's a massive crowd waiting for the elevator, so when Letty looks toward the stairs, I follow her lead, not wanting to be stuck in an enclosed space with a group of people right now.
I trail down behind her and then out into the winter sun. I squint against the brightness, feeling a little better getting some fresh air.
Nothing is said between us as we stand in line to order our coffees. Everyone else's stares and interest burn into me. The girls—the jersey chasers—blatantly strip me naked while the guys either stare at me with angry eyes for having that effect on their girls or for the fact I've lost them their season. Either is a valid reason, to be fair.
"Dunn," the server calls, her cheeks turning a deep crimson when I look at her and take my coffee.
"Thanks," I mutter, giving her zero special attention, but still she damn near pisses her pants.
Don't get me wrong, there are many, many times where I've lapped up this kind of attention. The adoring fans, screaming crowds, girls who would sell their left tit to have a night with me. I'm a college guy, of course I've made the most of that over the years, who fucking wouldn't. But right now, I want them all to go away. I need the pity in their eyes to vanish and their attention to dwindle. I'd hoped it would after I lost us the championship, but now instead of everyone looking at me like they either want to be me or bang me, they're looking at me and wondering where it all went wrong. How their golden boy went from the epic high of last season to the pitiful low of this one.
I blow out a frustrated breath as I fall down into a chair that ensures I have my back to the rest of the coffee shop. I know they'll still be staring, but at least I don't have to watch them do it.
"It's still weird seeing you as such a celebrity," Letty says lightly, unable to miss the fact that the volume of the place dropped and all eyes turned on me from the second we entered.
I scoff, reaching out for one of the cupcakes she loves so much and pulling the wrapper off.
Taking a huge bite, I let the sweetness explode in my mouth in the hope it'll help sweeten my mood.
"What?" I mutter with a mouthful of cake when I pull it away.
"You really need to shave." Letty laughs, reaching over and wiping a generous blob of icing and sprinkles from the overly long scruff above my top lip.
I watch as she puts her finger in her mouth innocently to wipe it off. Not so long ago that move would have done things to me, but right now I feel nothing. But I don't think that's because I've accepted our reality and more just because I'm dead inside right now. The only thing that gets my blood pumping is the thought of torturing Peyton some more.
I shift in the chair as I think about Tuesday night once again before remembering that Letty said something.
"Y-yeah," I say, lifting my hand to my chin. "I know, I just…"
"Don't make excuses, Luc. I know you, remember." She pins me with a look that makes me feel about two inches tall.
"Let, I'm—"
"Don't," she snaps. "Don't apologize and assume everything is just going to go back to how it once was."
"It won't though, will it? You're with him."
"Luc," she breathes, looking up to the ceiling as if she needs some strength for this conversation.
"That wasn't what I meant. I get it, Let. Okay? I fucking get it." Pushing the rest of my cupcake away, I rest my elbows on the edge of the table and shove my fingers into my hair. "It was never meant to be us."
"You know, if it were four years ago then maybe it could have been."
Slowly, I lift my head and find her dark eyes.
"Oh come off it. As if you didn't know I had the biggest crush on you." She rolls her eyes at herself, embarrassment heating her cheeks and down her neck.
"You slept with Leon," I blurt, pain slicing through my heart as I remember that revelation.
"And you slept with half the female population of Rosewood High. It's all in the past, Luc. We did some stupid shit. I'm sure we'll continue to do stupid shit. But I want to do it knowing that you've got my back." Her expression softens and my frozen heart begins to melt a little.
"Does he really make you happy?”
"Yes, he does. He really does.”
I nod at her, reaching for my coffee and pulling it closer.
"I know the two of you will probably never see eye to eye. But if you could at least try to tolerate each other, it would mean the world to me."
"I tolerate him just fine," I mutter, thinking of him being a much bigger part of my life than I ever wanted or expected him to be.
I thought exchanges with Kane Legend were done once I graduated. I thought he'd disappear into the pits of hell that was Harrow Creek, destined for a life of gangs, drugs, and crime. But no, apparently the universe had other ideas. As if I didn't already have enough to deal with.
Letty scoffs. "That's what you call tolerating? You're gonna have to get used to it. You're not going to be getting rid of him next season."
"I know," I mutter. The truth of it is, while I might be worried about Letty being with him, I'm not stupid enough to deny that he needs to be standing beside Leon and me on the Panther's offense. Unfortunately, he's the best man for the job. While I might place the majority of last season's failing on my own shoulders, I can't lie and say that his name also doesn't feature seeing as he ended up on the bench injured more than he played. And as much as I might hate it, the three of us are a good team on the field. If we have any chance of making a comeback next season then we need to solidify them, and sadly, that means that we're going to have to spend some time together. Assuming I want to be back on the field next season.
Letty's cell bleeping cuts off whatever she was going to say and she pulls it from her back pocket, opening the message and almost instantly laughing to herself at whatever is on the screen.
"His cock that small, huh?" I ask, although I've probably seen that motherfucker naked as many times as she has, so I know it's not true. Asshole.
"Nah. Ella insisted on a toga fitting last night. There was a lot of tequila involved. Look." She turns her cell around and my eyes land on Ella and Violet, two of Letty's old roommates, dancing around in their dorm room wrapped in what looks like cut-up bedsheets.
They're laughing and joking, clearly totally wasted but it's not the sight of them that makes my heart jump into my throat, because that's the flash of pink hair in the bottom left of the screen.
All the air rushes from my lungs but I quickly tell myself to get a grip. Loads of girls have pink hair on campus.
She's not even here. She spends too much time shaking her tits for assholes to attend classes.
But it was her night off,a little voice says in my head.
Shutting it all down, I look back to Letty as she takes her cell back.
"Looks like it was quite a night."
A genuine smile curls at her lips and I can't help but copy her. There were so many times she looked utterly miserable after she first started here last year, I love seeing her looking more like her fun-loving old self.
"Oh yeah, it was something. Those two were trashed."
The question about the pink haired girl is right on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it down, not wanting to alert Letty to something—something that I'm sure is nothing more than me jumping to conclusions.
The two of them never met. Letty arrived only a few weeks after Peyton left, and although she's aware that my old friend left on bad terms, Peyton never came to visit, and even talking about her turned me into a dark, angry beast that I needed to keep hidden behind closed doors, and the best way to deal with that was to do my best to forget any of it even happened, that Peyton never even existed.
Letty's probably heard her name many times over the years, and now understanding just how close her and Leon were, it makes me wonder if she knows more than she ever let on. Not that Leon ever knew the whole truth. It was bad enough that I had to deal with Peyton's lies. I wasn't poisoning my brother's mind with them too.
"You're coming Friday night, right?" she asks after putting her cell away.
"Uh…" Honestly, I'd mostly planned to sit outside The Locker Room like a sad motherfucker and wait for my daily hit of Peyton.
I wrap my hand around the back of my neck, realizing just how fucking pathetic I'm becoming needing a look at a girl in the dead of night to settle the darkness within me.
"Oh come on. Everyone is over the season. You need to stop sulking and enjoy your free time before it starts all over again."
"I'm not sulking," I mutter, earning myself a raised eyebrow in return. "Okay. Fine. I'll be there."
We finish our coffees and chat about bullshit like classes and assignments, both of us skirting around the more serious topics that we've only touched on.
The two of us are going to need more than this little coffee ice breaker until we're back on some kind of level footing again.
When it's time for us to head to our next classes, I pull her in for a hug and hold her tight, breathing in her familiar and comforting scent as my heart aches once more and confusion clouds my brain.
"I'll see you soon, yeah?" she asks hesitantly as if she's about to walk away and it'll shatter the progress we've just made.
"Yeah. Maybe you and that guy of yours should even come and hang at the house sometime," I offer, although I'm not entirely sure if I mean it or not.
I walk away with a heavy heart, but the knowledge that I'm closer to seeing Peyton again puts a bit of a spring into my step as I walk toward my afternoon class.
